What if it never happened?

Subject: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 04:20 AM

Thing going around Facebook at the moment along the lines of "What if Elvis was not caught in a trap?" or "What if John Lennon did not imagine all those people?" I think it could work quite well, in a slightly different way, on folk songs.

What if Lord Arnold was at home?

What if I had stayed at home that May morning?

What if it was wet and miserable one midsummer's morn?

Carry on...

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Splott Man
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 04:23 AM

What if my true love's hair was blonde?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Will Fly
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 04:26 AM

I never put my left foot in.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 04:33 AM

I never went down to the crossroads
...never went down to Louisiana to get me a mojo hand
...Gypsy woman never told my mother
...never went down to St James Infirmary
and of course
...never wok up this morning

RtS

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ernest
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 04:35 AM

Q: What if I didn`t wake up this morning?

A: Either a) I overslept or b) I`d be dead.

If a), I couldnt sing a convincing blues, if b) I couldn`t sing at all.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 05:08 AM

What if it was dull every single morning one May? What, just when he was bound to leave his Nancy, there was a sudden, protracted seamen's strike?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,twerp
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 07:23 AM

....and Matty Groves went fishing instead of going to church.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 07:48 AM

Her husband had a little courage in him! No one had a snow white steed, a berry brown sword or milk white breasts ?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 07:53 AM

Oh, and what of Clark Sandy' lover had only six brothers ?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 08:04 AM

What if I couldn't get to Sandgate due to engineering works on the line?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 08:08 AM

What if the old man discovered that he hadn't lost his ding-doorum, just mislaid it?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 08:10 AM

And what if the old hag had kicked me in the nuts but not actually killed me?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: John P
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 08:24 AM

Have you ever tried to break a ring in half? What if he just didn't have the strength in his fingers?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 08:40 AM

What if I told the maiden that I couldn't sow her meadow with me wanton seed right now because the garden centre was out of stock?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 08:50 AM

What if I didn't take out my ramrod and bullets likewise?

What if I didn't lay this girl down with her face to the skies?

What if...

What if Billy did weep for me?

Hang on, that was a bit tame.

Here you go..

What if she didn't lay on my big brass bed?

What if her two white breasts standing so didn't look like two white hills covered in snow?

What if we couldn't keep our shuttles in play either?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 11:24 AM

What if he couldn't get up and square her new loom?

and if those feet in ancient times didn't...

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: michaelr
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 11:28 AM

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 11:39 AM

and if those feet in ancient times didn't..

They didn't.

As I stayed in bed, one bright may morning...

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 11:45 AM

Sorry - Me at 11:39 AM

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 11:48 AM

Damn! No it wasn't - I just posted something that disappeared and I did a wrong C&P - Sorry :-) What I said in the original was that Blake's words would not have made sense, as per the other songs. It doesn't matter whether it happened or not. And I did the May morning joke in the first post!

Sorry Guest, but thanks for trying :-)

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 12:16 PM

Would music be different if:

North America was never discovered?
There was never any African American influence on music?
No one in the USA south ever felt a dose of the blues.
If love never existed?
If no singer/songwriter took drugs.
The drum was never invented?
No singer ever flew in an airplane.
The accordian replaced the guitar in popular music.
Yoko Ono could sing?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: MartinRyan
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 12:24 PM

What if the lady gay was a gay lady?

Regards

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ged Fox
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 12:39 PM

What if Blair in Athol etc. hadn't been mine? What if they'd been Fair Eleanor's?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: DMcG
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 01:00 PM

What if Cecil Sharp went somewhere else for Christmas?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 01:05 PM

If there were no pick up trucks, jails , infidelities, love lost, or booze-would there be many country songs?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 01:08 PM

If there were no electric guitars, woukd folk music still be king?

What if RAP music never existed, would you care?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Wee Jock
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 01:28 PM

What if i never played the Wild Rover No More

Cheers

Wee Jock

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 01:36 PM

What if there were never any unicorns-would they sing about them anyway?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: DMcG
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 01:37 PM

What if you mislay your half of the broken token?

Lords Bateman, Lovel, Gregory and Co just stayed at home declaring they didn't approve of this class distinction stuff and wanted to be addressed as "citizen" from now on?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 02:02 PM

If there was no God, how would America get blessed? Who would save the Queen? Who would have been our help in ages past? Who would only know what I'd be without you? Who would be U2's lead singer?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 02:05 PM

I'm sure we know some here who would feel obliged to invent him...

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 02:05 PM

Wee Jock - Best yet :-)

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 02:28 PM

what if this thread stayed above the line......

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 02:56 PM

The Blantyre Non-explosion

By Clyde's bonny banks as I sadly did wander,
Amang the pit heaps, as evening drew nigh,
I spied a fair maiden all dressed in designer,
On Waitrose champagne she was giggling and high.

I stepped up beside her, and thus I addressed her,
Pray tell me, fair maid, why your clothes are so fine?
Wobbling and laughing, at last she did answer.
My boyfriend, kind sir, tests for gas in the mine...

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 03:31 PM

""Who would save the Queen?""

What if Freddy Mercury was still amongst us?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 03:34 PM

Following the last question. What if Beelzebub didn't have a devil put aside for me?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 03:36 PM

What if the hero of "Whiskey in the Jar" and the heroine of "William Taylor" got their pistols swapped?

It was early in the morning, as I rose up for travel,
The guards were all around me and likewise captain Farrel.
I first produced my pistol, for she stole away my rapier,
And left the captain dying with a bullet in his liver...


She has called for a brace of pistols,
A brace of pistols was brought all there to her hand;
She fired two duds at William Taylor
And he married the bride at his right hand.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 03:41 PM

I once read an SF book called "A gap in the spectrum" which was based on someone waking up in our world, having been transported from a world almost identical but without the colour red. Think what this does changing loads of songs..
No more
Red sails in the sunset,
Red white and blue,
Lady in red....

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 04:50 PM

What if a ploughboy tell in love with a rich man's daughter, and her parents said, "What a relief! A suitor who is strong, healthy and not weak in the head. Bring him on!"

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 05:13 PM

What if I set off to meet my love by the gasworks croft only to find that the buggers had built a Tesco on it?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 05:19 PM

What if Beethoven wore hearing aids?

what if Beethoven was not deaf? 

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,van
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 05:45 PM

What if it has never happened and we didn't notice

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 09:57 PM

What if .44 caliber ammunition had never been invented? It probably wouldn't have kept anyone in a murder ballad from being shot, but it would make creating rhymes about it more difficult. You ever tried to rhyme anything with "nine millimeter" without sounding like a total thug?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Elmore
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 11:03 PM

What if Sweet William told Barbara Allen to f... off?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Don Firth
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 12:00 AM

Or if Barbara had hiked up her skirts and jumped his bones?

Don Firth

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Wee Jock
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 06:58 AM

This thread is getting better and better.

Cheers

Wee Jock

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Jon Heslop
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 07:33 AM

How would traditional ballads have worked if the month had been called"Orange" instead of "May"?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,M
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 07:44 AM

To Guest, Jon Heslop I'd just point out that you shouldn't believe them when they say nothing rhymes with orange, 'cos it doesn't...

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,M
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 07:47 AM

What if something in the way she moved totally turned his stomach?

What if dragons live for ever and so do little boys? (Awful prospect)

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 07:55 AM

If Woodstock was an indoor concert.

If Bobbie McGee decided to take a train.