Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015

Subject: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: Vic Smith
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 08:12 AM

I am still struggling to find the date of this year's festival.
I know that there is a complicated formula for finding it. You have to add the ages of the last five prime ministers when they came into office - that is fairly simple - but that has to be divided by an astrological date; the square root of the date of the last time the Sun was in Uranus. I have tried the calculation several times and each time the festival date works out to be the 7th weekend in June - and somehow that does not seem right.
Can anyone help?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:11 AM

That would make it the 2nd. weekend of Julember! Clashes with The Lamer Bush and Pot Bellied Pork Scratchings and Real Lager Festival of course.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: Dave Earl
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:18 AM

It will fall on the mid weekend beween the Umpteenth of Septober and Octember the Nerth.

I must remember to check with Matron to see if I am eligable for to be let out for that weekend.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: GUEST,Fred McCormick
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:54 AM

Vic, do you think maybe they're trying to tell you something?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 10:10 AM

I'd appreciate a lift if anyone with a car or a tandem or a wheelbarrow knows where and when it is.

Dave H

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 10:21 AM

Wheelbarrows are NOT allowed at Blitherscrum. In case of rain, rollerskates are supplied, but you can't park them next to the tents. They have to be underneath your sleeping bag.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: Vic Smith
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 10:26 AM

They were allowed in the past.... I can remember a family of six sleeping under a wheelbarrow.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: Mingulay
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 10:58 AM

Vic, did you remember to recite the incantation as you whistled the national anthem of Bolukstan ?

If you do manage to get to the festival why not pop over to Upton Ogood and visit us at the Medieval Gas Stove Museum located in the C16th century smokeworks.

Good luck.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: Hamish
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 10:37 AM

Stanley tried to remember which national anthem to whistle and suggested it might have been Outer Borgrovia. I told him "That's Bolukstan"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: GUEST,Fred McCormick
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:24 AM

Does anybody have an accommodation list for Blitherscrum. The last time I went I took pot luck and ended up in a very bizarre place. It was full of half naked women wearing leather thongs and carrying whips around with them.

Some very strange blokes in there as well. One of them was down on his hands and knees while one of these women sat on his back asking "Who's a naughty boy then?".

I kept my bedroom door locked that night, I can tell you.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:30 AM

What if it didn't exist asks Harmonium Hero? Would it still be on the same date? Would the same people not go? We need to know these things...

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: Bounty Hound
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:43 AM

I think you went to the tory party conference by mistake Fred!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:56 AM

What if it didn't exist? ....then somebody would have had to invent it......and that would be silly.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: GUEST,Fred McCormick
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 12:11 PM

Bounty. So that's what all the cries of "austerity!!!" were about. I thought it was just a few locals indulging in a bit of sado-masochistic rumpy pumpy. That would also explain why one of these guys was called The Chief Whip, while the others were just ordinary whips.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: Bounty Hound
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 02:02 PM

Fred, now this is where mudcat needs a 'like' button! :)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: Vic Smith
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 04:56 PM

You could try clicking on this - 

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 01:20 PM

I clicked on Vic's link, and, apart from a strange sensation in the nether regions nothing happened. Comments please to Blitherscrum Borough Council c/o broadcasting house.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: GUEST,Fred McCormick
Date: 02 Apr 15 - 05:03 AM

If Vic Smith is giving you strange sensations in the nether regions I doubt Blitherscrum Borough Council would be able to help.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: Vic Smith
Date: 02 Apr 15 - 07:11 AM

Blitherscrum Borough Council did once have a Vic Smith-Inspired Nether Regions Strange Sensation Advice Department. In fact, I was employed as an advisor by them at one time. However, like so many other services that were once considered essential - Citizen's Advice, Home care for the disabled, libraries, doctors' surgeries, schools, hospitals - all have disappeared from Blitherscrum in the government cuts of the last five years.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 11 May 15 - 11:40 AM

New event for this year: Samba Drum Rolling. Competitors each grab a Samba Drum, take it to the top of the hill and, at a given signal, roll it down the hill and chase after it to see how many pieces it's in after hitting the pile of bodhrans at the bottom. There isn't a prize; just the joy of competing, and the appreciation of the crowds.
JK

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: GUEST,Kampervan
Date: 11 May 15 - 01:49 PM

HELP!!!

I've just woken up from the mammoth drinking session that ended last years Blitherscrum. There's no-one else here and the gate is locked so I can't get off the campsite.

I need to get home and find a clean pair of socks so that I be ready for the 2015 festival.

Has anyone got a key ... or a clue?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 12 May 15 - 07:13 AM

Some friends and I would like to resurrect the old Whitby Live Kipper Dance, famous in these parts in the 18th & 19th Century. We've found old manuscripts showing the steps but are struggling to find live kippers (round here they eat them, bit like their young). Can anyone help.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2015
From: GUEST,Fred McCormick
Date: 12 May 15 - 07:17 AM

I hear that the river Blither which flows past, and sometimes through, the Blitherscrum camp site, houses some rare species of eel.

Dunno whether they can do the kipper dance, but man, you want to see them dance the conger.