BS: Couple of one-liners

Subject: BS: Couple of one-linersd
From: GUEST,CountryBoy
Date: 02 Sep 15 - 02:24 PM

Harvested from the BBC ~ winning one-liners:

I deleted all the Germans from my phone; now it's Hans-free.

difference between a hippo and a Zippo? Hippoes are pretty heavy; A Zippo is a little lighter.

Subject: RE: BS: Couple of one-liners
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 15 - 09:49 PM

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. (Mae West)

I am not a crook. (Richard Nixon)

Subject: RE: BS: Couple of one-liners
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 03 Sep 15 - 12:58 AM

He can't afford to keep coming over here. Those ocean liners cost the earth.

P.G. Wodehouse

Subject: RE: BS: Couple of one-liners
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 03 Sep 15 - 10:03 AM

I used to be a werewolf but I'm alright nooooooooooow.
Difference between as stoat and a weasel - one's weasily recognised and the other's stoatally different.
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Couple of one-liners
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Sep 15 - 07:24 PM

A bit rude, these, so look away now.

Linda Lovelace has the nicest teeth I've ever come across.

7-Up is good for you - ask Snow White.

...Both from the wall of the gents at the Queen Victoria in Loughton.

Subject: RE: BS: Couple of one-liners
From: gnu
Date: 03 Sep 15 - 07:41 PM

Great thread! Thanks for staring it.

Subject: RE: BS: Couple of one-liners
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Sep 15 - 07:51 PM

Difference between a hand grenade and a banjo? There is no difference: by the time you've heard either, it's too late.

Subject: RE: BS: Couple of one-liners
From: Joe_F
Date: 03 Sep 15 - 08:55 PM

Applause makes a good time to fart.

Subject: RE: BS: Couple of one-liners
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 04 Sep 15 - 01:59 AM

what's a hundred yards long and has eight teeth....?

the queue for Daniel 0 Donnell tickets.

Subject: RE: BS: Couple of one-liners
From: GUEST,.gargoye
Date: 04 Sep 15 - 06:22 AM

Ahhh yes Steve ... source....so from your spring board and a drum roll.

Nixon saw Deep Throat ten times...he wanted to get it down pat.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Be ALERT… America needs lerts.