Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not

Subject: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not Sim
From:
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 03:00 PM

Looking for the version of above mentioned poem that the soldiers in WWI recited. Rather more risky that Simms. Would like to send them out the family as Xmas card. Any versions appreciated. Mother can't remember them anymore.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not
From: Micca
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 06:47 PM

Is this what you mean?

It was Christmas day in the cookhouse, the happiest day of the year.
Men's hearts were full of gladness, their bellies full of beer,
When up spoke Private Shorthouse, his face as bold as brass,
Saying, "We don't want your Christmas pudding. You can stick it up your...
Tidings of comfort and joy,
Good tidings of comfort and joy."

It was Christmas day in the harem. The eunuchs were standing all around,
And hundreds of beautiful women were stretched out on the ground.
In came the bold bad sultan and gazed at his marble halls,
Saying, "What do you want for Christmas, boys?" and the eunuchs answered...
"Tidings of comfort and joy,
Good tidings of comfort and joy."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not
From: Gint
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 07:39 PM

you can find this in the musical Oh What a Lovley War

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not
From:
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 01:03 AM

Micca This is the version. Do you have to whole thing? I would love to get a hold of it. Thank-you for replying. Gint I am aware that it is in that musical but the play only shows those two verses. I understand it is rather lengthy. Peggy

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not
From: John in Brisbane
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 07:51 AM

You'll find the text in the old thread which I refreshed - thanks to Steve Parkes.

Subject: Lyr Add: CHRISTMAS DAY IN THE WORKHOUSE
From:
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 02:01 PM

I found the poem I want. It was in the old threads BUT I don't believe it is all there. This is what it had but I would really like the rest of it.
Anthony Hopkins, in "Songs from the Front and Rear," has:

CHRISTMAS DAY IN THE WORKHOUSE

'Twas Christmas Day in the workhouse, the happiest day of the year.
The paupers' hearts were filled with joy and their bellies full of beer.

Up spoke the Workhouse Master: "To all within these halls,
I wish you a Merry Christmas!" and the paupers answered, "Balls!"

If you don't believe me, if you think I'm telling a lie,
Just ask the Workhouse Master. He was there as well as I.

Up spoke the Workhouse Master and said, "If you're not good,
I'll be a lousy rotter and stop your Christmas pud."

Up spoke the leading pauper. He said, "It's all a farce.
You can take your Christmas pudding and stick it up your arse!"

And if you don't believe me, if you think I'm telling a lie,
Just ask the Workhouse Master. He was there as well as I.

(Sung by Canadian servicemen in W.W.II)

I checked with my Mother and this is the poem her father recited every Christmas. I would dearly love to attain the rest or if it's on this site already could someone direct me? I'm new here BUT TOTALLY FASCINATED!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not
From: Gint
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 03:57 PM

Parlage I would have liked to spend christmas with your grandfather

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not
From: palarge
Date: 06 Dec 99 - 07:07 AM

Gint. Thanks. My Mother says he did this every year at Christmas with great gusto. After a few years all the kids would mimick him and do it with him. She wrote down the words once and has lost the paper. He also sang the old song "I was born about 10,000 years ago, there is nothing in this world that I don't know" But he always ended it his own way with "I can run faster, jump higher, dive deeper, swim farther and come out drier than any other son of a bitch". I remember him as a storyteller. Peggy

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not
From:
Date: 10 Dec 99 - 09:07 PM

Thanks for trying to help me.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not
From:
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 03:27 PM

That Pauper now is dead sir,
He died a kind a sudden
but over his grave are written these words

" F..k you and your christmas puddin"

Subject: Lyr Add: CHRISTMAS DAY IN THE WORKHOUSE
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 11:44 PM

It was Christmas day in the workhouse, and the orphans were standing about;
And the overseer, a cruel man, had threatened to throw them out.
The sky was dark and heavy, and snow lay on the ground,
And the overseer, a cruel man, cried, "Not another sound!"

Then he sat down at his table filled with bread and meat,
And jam and jelly and pudding, and all for him to eat.
The orphans they were starving and tears came to their eyes
As they watched him gobbling turkey and potatoes and fresh mince pies.

Their bellies ached with hunger, and their hearts cried out for food,
But the overseer, a cruel man, would not do what he should.
Till at last, a starving orphan went up with cap in hand,
And stood beside his table and faced him, man to man.

"What do you want, you little wretch? Why are you standing there?"
"Please, sir, I'd like some pudding, if you've a piece to spare.
We've got to have some food, sir, or it might mean our end;
And you've really got enough, sir, to fill the mouths of ten."

The overseer was angry, and his eyes began to shine.
He bellowed, "Get your own food! You're getting none of mine!"
The child was on his knees now, and these words came from his soul,
"You can take your fuckin' puddin' and shove it up your hole!"

I thank you.

Seamus

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not
From: GUEST,Mike
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 04:17 PM

Ed Asner also recited a version of this poem in the movie The Gathering.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not
From: GUEST,Fullerton
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 04:32 PM

There's a Billy Bennett monologue with the same title. It's on the monologue sites

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not
From: GUEST,bazjazz
Date: 05 Apr 10 - 11:11 AM

The version I know goes as follows

It was Xmas day in the workhouse - The season of good cheer
The paupers were all merry - Their bellies full of beer

Then strode the workhouse master - Into those noble halls
Wishing them a merry Xmas - and the paupers all answered balls

Well this angered the workhouse master - and he swore by all the gods
That he'd stop their Xmas pudding - the rotten ungrateful sod's

Then up spake a bald headed pauper - He had a voice as bold as brass
You can take your Xmas pudding - and stick it up your arse.

It can be sung with great effect to the New Orleans Jazz tune St James Infirmary Blues.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: It's Christmas in the Workhouse (not
From: GUEST,sandymitch
Date: 25 Dec 13 - 02:16 AM

My mother sang this when she was on a downer anytime throughout the year -as a child I never understood it - I do now! Thanks to all for sharing and Merry Christmas one and all!