The Prostate Protest Blues

Subject: The Prostate Protest Blues
From: Uncle Tone
Date: 20 Sep 16 - 09:55 PM

Anyone identify with this?


THE PROSTATE PROTEST BLUES by Tony Haynes 2016

I've got the really dropped me in it prostate protest blues
I've got the must go in a minute prostate protest blues
Near a toilet I must stay, cos I daren't stray far away
I've got the not sure I can find it, prostate protest blues

I've go the slowly getting older prostate protest bane
I've the shrinking when it's colder prostate protest bane
I stand and it dribbles away. It could maybe dribble all day
I've got the used to be much bolder prostate protest drain

I've got the thing I shouldn't mention prostate protest sag
I've got the won't stand to attention prostate protest sag
Viagra helps being lewd but only if I'm in the mood
I've got the now I'm on state pension prostate protest blag

I've go the lovin's rather iffy prostate protest weep
I've go the hard to get a stiffy prostate protest weep
Just leave me alone, dear, and fettle it on your own, dear
I've got the snoring in a jiffy prostate protest sleep

I've got the need to wee when sleeping prostate protest ache
I've got the nightmare that I'm peeing prostate protest ache
I dream that the bog is broken. It's much relief when I am woken
Then to the loo I'm fleeing prostate for f**** sake

I've got the wish it wasn't me prostate protest fear
I've got the takes an age to pee prostate protest fear
I've got the shake it like a peg or it dribbles down me leg
I've got the damp bit in the crotch prostate protest smear

I've got the bladder aching tum prostate protest spread
I've got the finger up the bum prostate protest spread
It's swollen say the docs but that's normal for you old cocks
I've got the it's alright for some prostate protest dread

I've got the stream was once okay prostate protest blues
But now it sprinkles away prostate protest blues
My aim's not good I fears cos I ain't seen it for years
Me beer gut's in the way prostate protest blues

Subject: RE: The Prostate Protest Blues
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 11:27 AM

I did until I had the TURP op. Now I'm a new man, just as grumpy as the old one but not peeing all the time (just pissing people off).
RtS

Subject: RE: The Prostate Protest Blues
From: Uncle Tone
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 10:26 PM

I'd rather not roger the skiffler if you don't mind! (Smiley of choice)

As I'm on life-time warfarin TURP is not for me. That is probably why my GP is reluctant to do anything but see how it develops.

Meanwhile I pee sitting down, and blot.

TMI I know, but us blokes should not ignore the symptoms listed in the song. Trot along to the GP and ask for an examination. Could save your life.