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ADD: Round & Round Went Great Big Wheel- Engineer

GUEST,CJB 17 Jul 17 - 05:06 AM
Steve Gardham 17 Jul 17 - 09:26 AM
Joe Offer 17 Jul 17 - 09:52 AM
Joe Offer 17 Jul 17 - 09:55 AM
Joe Offer 17 Jul 17 - 09:58 AM
GUEST,CJB 17 Jul 17 - 12:24 PM
GUEST,Ex Rugby playing folkist 17 Jul 17 - 09:01 PM
Nigel Parsons 18 Jul 17 - 09:35 AM
Steve Gardham 18 Jul 17 - 09:38 AM
Joe_F 18 Jul 17 - 09:25 PM
Steve Gardham 19 Jul 17 - 03:39 PM
Joe_F 19 Jul 17 - 05:18 PM
GUEST,ERPF 20 Jul 17 - 12:07 PM
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Subject: Lyr Add: Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel
From: GUEST,CJB
Date: 17 Jul 17 - 05:06 AM

Funny how you stumble upon a gem ...

Researching missing eps of Dad's Army this site

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Series/DadsArmy

has a reference to an ep. entitled:

"Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel"

* Getting Crap Past the [Beeb's] Radar: Barely even trying. In the episode "The Four-and-a-Half Feathers", Jones describes his patrol in the Sudan encountering an elderly fakir (a sort of monk, pronounced "fa-keer"). Jones constantly refers to him as the "Old Fakir" (pronouncing it as "fak-er"). Say it out loud and wonder how that made it past the censors...

** And at least one episode title. "Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel" is a quote from a really filthy song.

This is it ...

http://www.threaded.com/engineers_song.htm

But what's the tune, and does anyone perform it?!!!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 17 Jul 17 - 09:26 AM

You need to go to John Mehlberg's website where you can listen to several versions, one of them mine. There are several tunes used. Mine is closely related to the American 'Froggy went Courting' tune.


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Subject: ADD: Engineers Song
From: Joe Offer
Date: 17 Jul 17 - 09:52 AM

Here are the lyrics CJB linked to from http://www.threaded.com/engineers_song.htm


Engineers Song

Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, ah-hum.
An engineer told me before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.
An engineer told me before he died,
And I have no reason to believe that he lied,

(Chorus) That no matter whatever he tried,
His girlfriend was never satisfied!

(Chorus) That girl she had a @#%$ so wide
She could never be satisfied,

(Chorus) The engineer was a designer,
Measured the bore of her vagina,

(Chorus) Then he built her a @#%$ of steel,
Powered by a bloody great wheel,

(Chorus) Yes he built a bloody great wheel,
Two brass balls and a @#%$ of steel

(Chorus) Two balls of brass were filled with cream,
And the whole bloody issue was driven by steam.

(Chorus) He tied his girl to the leg of the bed,
Tied her hands above her head,

(Chorus) There she lay demanding a @#%$,
He shook her hand and wished her luck,

(Chorus) Round and round went the bloody great wheel,
In and out went the @#%$ of steel,

(Chorus) Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the level of cream.

(Chorus) Till at last the maiden cried,
"Enough! Enough! I am satisfied!"

(Chorus) Now we come to the tragic bit,
There was no way of stopping it,

(Chorus) It went like the piston of a train,
He should have fitted a gearing chain,

(Chorus) Clouds of steam blew out the top,
There wasn't a way to make it stop,

(Chorus) She was split from ass to tit,
And the whole @#%$ thing was covered in @#%$,

(Chorus) It jumped off her, it jumped on him,
And then it buggered their next of kin,

(Chorus) It jumped on a departing bus,
And the mess it made caused quite a fuss,

(Chorus) The last time, Sir, that @#%$ was seen,
Was in Buckingham Palace @#%$ the Queen,

(Chorus) There's a moral to the story I tell,
If you see it coming better run like hell,

(Chorus) Nine months later a child was born,
With two brass balls and a bloody great horn,

(Chorus) The warning in the story is,
Always fit a safety switch,

(Chorus) The crux of the matter is plain to be seen,
You should never trust a @#%$ MACHINE!



Here's a recording of the song. It uses "Froggy Went a-Courting" for a melody: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKK-R7hfcQI


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Subject: ADD: Engineers Song
From: Joe Offer
Date: 17 Jul 17 - 09:55 AM

There's another version (with recording that you really need to hear) at horntip.com

Here are the lyrics posted at that site:

ENGINEERS SONG

An engineer told me before he died
Ah-hum titty-bum titty-bum titty-bum
An engineer told me before he died
Ah-hum, ah-hum
An engineer told me before he died
I have no reason to think he lied
Ah-hum titty-bum titty-bum titty-bum
Ah-hum titty-bum titty-bum titty-bum
He had a wife with a cunt so wide
Ah-hum titty-bum titty-bum titty-bum
He had a wife with a cunt so wide
Ah-hum, ah-hum
He had a wife with a cunt so wide
That she could never be satisfied
Ah-hum titty-bum titty-bum titty-bum
Ah-hum titty-bum titty-bum titty-bum

So he built a bloody great wheel...
With two balls of brass and a prick of steel

The balls of brass he filled with cream...
And the whole bloody thing was powered by steam

He tied her down onto the bed...
And lashed her arms above her head

There she lay demanding a fuck...
He shook her hand and he wished her luck

Round and round went the bloody great wheel...
And in and out went the prick of steel

Up and up went the level of steam...
Down and down went the level of cream

Til at last the maiden cried...
Enough! Enough! I'm satisfied!

Now we come to the tragic bit...
There was no way of stopping it

She was split from ass to tit...
And the whole bloody room was covered in shit

It jumped off her and it jumped on him...
And then it went after his next of kin

It hopped onto an uptown bus...
It's coming to fuck the rest of us!

The last time that machine was seen...
It was in Buckingham Palace fucking the queen

The moral of this story is clear...
You just don't fuck with an engineer!


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Subject: ADD Version: Engineers Song
From: Joe Offer
Date: 17 Jul 17 - 09:58 AM

Another version was posted elswhere at Mudcat:

Thread #4377   Message #1678010
Posted By: GUEST,Jeeves
24-Feb-06 - 04:08 PM
Thread Name: Rugby Football Songs
Subject: ADD: Engineers Song (Rugby)

ENGINEERS SONG

An Engineer said before he died
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
An Engineer said before he died
An Engineer said before he died
And I've no reason to think he lied
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

He married a girl with a cunt so wide
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
He married a girl with a cunt so wide
She was never satisfied
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

He built for her a prick of steel
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
He built for her a prick of steel
Two brass balls and a bloody great wheel
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

The whole fucking thing was powered by steam
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
The whole fucking thing was powered by steam
And the two brass balls were filled with cream
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

He tied her feet to the leg of the bed
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
He tied her feet to the leg of the bed
And he tied her hands above her head
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

She lay there and demanded a fuck
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
She lay there and demanded a fuck
He shook her hand and wished her luck
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

He fired the boiler and flicked the switch
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
He fired the boiler and flicked the switch
She cried for more the filthy bitch
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

Up and up went the level of steam
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
Up and up went the level of steam
Down and down went the level of cream
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

And finally that whore did cry
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
And finally that whore did cry
Enough! Enough! I'm satisfied!(in high pitched voice)
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

That prick split her from arse to tit
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
That prick split her from arse to tit
The whole fucking place was covered in shit
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

They scrapped her up into a bag
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
They scrapped her up into a bag
Serves her right for being a slag
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

And now here comes the tragic bit
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
And now here comes the tragic bit
There was no way of stopping it
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

It jumped off her and onto him
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
It jumped off her and onto him
And then it buggered their next of kin
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

The last time that that prick was seen
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
The last time that that prick was seen
It was down in London fucking the queen
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

And finally a child was born
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
And finally a child was born
With two brass balls and a fucking great horn
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum

The moral of the story should be clear
A-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly-rum-tiddly rum
The moral of the story should be clear
NEVER FUCK WITH AN ENGINEER!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel
From: GUEST,CJB
Date: 17 Jul 17 - 12:24 PM

Oooo - lovely. Many thanks for the links and tunes.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel
From: GUEST,Ex Rugby playing folkist
Date: 17 Jul 17 - 09:01 PM

The version in our club went

An engineer told me before he died
And now I know the bastard lied
He had a wife with a cunt so wide
She could never be satisfied

So he built a fucking great wheel
Two balls of brass and a prick of steel
The balls of brass were covered in cream
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam

Round and round went the fucking great wheel
In and out went the prick of steel
'til at last the maiden(?) cried
Enough, enough I'm satisfied

Now we come to the biter bit
There was no way of stopping it
And she was split from arse to tit
And the whole fucking issue was covered in ....

Sweet violets, sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from arse to tit
Covered all over in
Shit, shit, shit


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 18 Jul 17 - 09:35 AM

It also gets a few comments/references in the "Man From U.N.C.L.E." The Monster Wheel Affair

Cheers
Nigel


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 18 Jul 17 - 09:38 AM

ERpf
What was the tune for your verses? The chorus is from a pop song of the early 20th century.


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Subject: RE: ADD: Round & Round Went Great Big Wheel- Engineer
From: Joe_F
Date: 18 Jul 17 - 09:25 PM

An old song, with many versions. Here are a couple of recent ones that have made it here:

http://mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=6394
http://mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=6983

And here is one I heard in Scotland:

THE WHEEL

A sailor told me before he died --
I don't know whether the bastard lied --
About a maid with a **** so wide
That she was never satisfied.

So she built a fucking great wheel,
Two balls of brass and a prick of steel;
The balls of brass were filled with cream,
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam.

Round & round went the fucking great wheel,
In & out went the prick of steel,
Until at last the maiden cried,
"Enough! Enough! I'm satisfied!"

Now we come to the bitter bit:
There was no method of stopping it.
The maid was split from **** to tit,
And the whole fucking issue was covered in

Sweet violets, sweeter than the roses,
Covered all over from head to toe,
Covered all over with shit! shit! shit!

There is a moral to this ditty:
Keep well in touch, both **** and titty,
And do not use a prick of steel:
Use mine instead -- it's warm & real.

Ah, so!

-- Sung, to the tune of Old Hundred ("Praise God, from whom all
blessings flow"), by students at St Andrews University, Scotland,
1959

An exhaustive essay on this song, by one Jonathan Lighter, was published in 2009. It contains many texts and comparisons with related themes.


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Subject: RE: ADD: Round & Round Went Great Big Wheel- Engineer
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 19 Jul 17 - 03:39 PM

Thanks, Joe. Is Jon's essay online? I'll ask him.


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Subject: RE: ADD: Round & Round Went Great Big Wheel- Engineer
From: Joe_F
Date: 19 Jul 17 - 05:18 PM

It seems not. He sent me a copy (in Word), but, as it is copyrighted, you had best get it from him.


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Subject: RE: ADD: Round & Round Went Great Big Wheel- Engineer
From: GUEST,ERPF
Date: 20 Jul 17 - 12:07 PM

The balls of brass were FILLED with cream

Silly me


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