Song Challenge: the sex doll brothel

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: the sex doll brothel
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 03:40 PM

When the paint begins to fade
Then it's time you should upgrade
When the plastic's turning brittle
It's like knocking off a skittle.
You need plenty of patches
To cover up the scratches
But when she gets too thin,
Then it's in recycle bin!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: the sex doll brothel
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 12:27 PM

The names were from the original song in "Merry Widow"

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: the sex doll brothel
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 12:23 PM

Love the names.

All the girls are willing
And costing but a shilling
You keep one in the attic
And one peripatattic
They really are quite easy
You needn't buy them pease-y
Just blow one up and then
She'll blow you back again!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: the sex doll brothel
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 12:09 PM

The music for that first verse can be seen :Here

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: the sex doll brothel
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 12:08 PM

Try again:
I'm going to Maxim's,
Where all the girls are dreams.
Their poses are dramatic,
Their curves are quite pneumatic.
Lolo, Dodo, Jou-Jou, Cloclo, Margot, Frou-Frou,
They come, all shapes and sizes,
I'm sure there's one for you.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: the sex doll brothel
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 12:05 PM

Revising the first verse. (to better match the original):

I?m going to Maxim?s,
Where all the girls are dreams.
Their poses are dramatic,
Their curves are quite pneumatic.
Lolo, Dodo, Jou-Jou,
Cloclo, Margot, Frou-Frou,
They come, all shapes and sizes,
I?m sure there?s one for you.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: the sex doll brothel
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 11:58 AM

Continuing that theme, and tune:

I like a certain size,
Quite rounded at the thighs.
The beauty of these dear things,
Will not be marred by piercings.
A nice uncluttered vee,
At Cupid's mound I see.
It's nice to know that 'there'
Is never hid by hair.

Okay, I had problems with apostrophes in the first verse. Back to using 'preview'.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: the sex doll brothel
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 11:45 AM

Nice oldie Mrrzy.

Let's kick off with a single verse.
For those who don't recognise it, I put a comment in this week with a mondegreen of 'Velia' from Franz Lehar's "Merry Widow".
This is based on "Maxim's" from the same source:

I always thought it grand,
To take myself in hand.
But now I prefer plastic,
With morals quite elastic.
Lolo, Dodo, Jou-Jou,
Cloclo, Margot, Frou-Frou,
They come, all shapes and sizes,
I?m sure there?s one for you.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: the sex doll brothel
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 11:39 AM

So the town drunk is staggering up the brothel steps, and the quick-thinkiing madam, who knew none of her girls would go for this, runs up to the attic and stick a fuck-doll in the bed. She gets someone to stagger him up the stairs and is about to relax when he comes back down again. Wasn't she to your liking? Asks the madam. I dunno, slurs the drunk, I bit her on the tit, and she farted and flew out the window!

Subject: Song Challenge: the sex doll brothel
From: Jack Campin
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 09:37 AM

There has simply GOT to be an adaptation of one of the classic whorehouse ballads to fit this:

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/sex-doll-brothel-germany-open-plastic-prostitute-dortmund-bordoll-a8008751.html

"he was her man, but he let her down..."?