Lyr Req: Holmes and Watson (from M Ryan & P Harris

Subject: Lyr Req: Lyrics to Holmes & Watson, Mick Ryan pls
From: GUEST,Rob O
Date: 30 Nov 17 - 10:56 AM

Anyone managed to decypher the lyrics to this hilarious 'music-hall' style ditty, very much in the style of the (now re-energised) Cosmotheka??

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lyrics to Holmes & Watson, Mick Ryan pls
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 01:31 PM

I might give it a try, but first I need to know where I can find it online. I haven't had any success with Spotify or YouTube.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lyrics to Holmes & Watson, Mick Ryan pls
From: Reinhard
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 02:38 PM

Jim, I've put it online, see my PM to you.

Homes and Watson is on Mick Ryan and Pete Harris' CD The Long Road. The liner notes said:

An affectionate tribute to, or satire upon, the more absurd aspects of Conan Doyle's entertaining stories of The Great Detective.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lyrics to Holmes & Watson, Mick Ryan pls
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 05:16 PM

Here's my transcription, unfortunately incomplete. Let's see if someone else can supply the missing/incorrect words:


HOLMES AND WATSON
As recorded by Mick Ryan and Peter Harris on "The Long Road" (2001)

1. Back in the eighteen nineties in London's Baker Street,
There lived a great detective who never could be beat.
He had a most phenomenal brain, and criminals lived in dread
After studying bolts of intellect which flashed inside his head.

CHORUS: "Oh, how do you do it, Holmes?" "Elementary, my dear Watson.
I ?(?) criminal mind, provided it's got spots on.
Crimes that trouble(?) lesser men and leave a shroud(?) at sea
To my deductive intellect are elementary."

2. One winter's night in Baker Street, sitting by the fire,
Watson did the crossword and of Holmes he did inquire:
"One across is hard," he said; "the same as a French resort."
" 'A la Monterrey(?),' dear chap," was? quick retort.

3. The great man's friend was much impressed and gave another clue:
"This one's a stinker," Watson said; "Let's see what you can do.
'Must be(?) digest his waterway;'--that makes no sense to me."
"The answer's simple, Watson; it is 'alimentary.' " (canal!)

4. While Watson stayed at Baskerville, Holmes was in disguise,
But revealed himself upon the moor to Watson's great surprise.
"The hound's abroad," the great man said above the wind and storm.
"It's ?(?) flesh upon the beach at ?.(?)"

5. On the trail of Moriarty, Watson one day found
Holmes just like an Indian scout lying on the ground.
"He's heading for the continent by the road to Dover.
I know this to be true because his carriage run me over."

6. With Moriarty cornered at the Reichenbach Falls,
At last the great detective had him by the short curlies.
Moriarty dragged his rival into the abyss,
But Holmes he made a comeback; it was a piece of dung(?).

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lyrics to Holmes & Watson, Mick Ryan pls
From: GUEST,Rob O
Date: 02 Dec 17 - 02:40 AM

Thanks Jim, a valiant effort but sadly the bits you can't get are in most part the bits that I can't get either! However maybe someone with younger, sharper ears might be able to fill in the blanks for me.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lyrics to Holmes & Watson, Mick Ryan pls
From: Reinhard
Date: 02 Dec 17 - 03:13 AM

In the chorus:
I knock spots off the criminal mind, providing it's got spots on.
Crimes that baffle lesser men and leave us (strand?) at sea.

Verse 3:
The third line sounds to me like "digestion's waterway"

Verse 6
sounds to me as 'dung' too

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lyrics to Holmes & Watson, Mick Ryan pls
From: Ged Fox
Date: 02 Dec 17 - 05:41 AM

"dung," to rhyme with "abyss."

An earlier song by Claude Ralston:

I would indite this ditty to a man who's very cute,
He's the terror of Bill Sloggins and them would do a scoot;
He can tell you where you've been to just by looking at your boot,
And you'll know him by the name of Sherlock Holmes.

Ch: With his lips hard set and a cigarette,
As his fingers through his hair he combs;
He's never yet been baffled, and he's sent them to the scaffold
By the score, has Sherlock Holmes.

I asked him out to dine at my place near Kempton Park,
I said the wine was Ruinart, I'd shifted every mark;
"You lie! It's three-and-sixpenny, I know it by the cork,
For I've found it on the floor," said Sherlock Holmes.   Ch:

One summer day we started for a race-course close to town.
He said "against the favourite!" We planked our utmost "brown;"
And before the race was over, why, the favourite he broke down,__
"That physic's done the trick," said Sherlock Holmes.   Ch:

He asked a few pals up one night; at Poker we did play;
The stakes were high, the end drew nigh, _ this great man was no jay _
Five aces on the table, with a pistol, he did lay,__
"I shall now collect the oof," said Sherlock Holmes.   Ch:

You say it is a pity that this splendid man should die.
I think the Swiss tale is a plant, I'll give my reason why.
There's a lady in the question so he's gone and done a "guy,"
But he'll turn up again will Sherlock Holmes.

With his lips hard set and a cigarette,
As his fingers through his hair he combs;
He's never yet been baffled, and he'll send them to the scaffold
By the score, will Sherlock Holmes.

(published in Scottish Students' Song Book)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lyrics to Holmes & Watson, Mick Ryan pls
From: GUEST,Rob O
Date: 02 Dec 17 - 05:58 AM

I can't make out that last word but I suspect it might be 'duff' as in Plum Duff. Everyone would be expecting 'piss' to rhyme with abyss so it's deliberate mis-rhyme. I think 'cake' would work well.

Subject: Lyr Add: HOLMES AND WATSON (Mick Ryan/Peter Harris
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Dec 17 - 06:44 AM

Think I've almost cracked it. There are only a few bits that I'm unsure about now so I've substituted a workable phrase.....so here's my best guess.......

HOLMES AND WATSON
As recorded by Mick Ryan and Peter Harris on "The Long Road" (2001)

1. Back in the eighteen-nineties in London's Baker Street,
There lived a great detective who never could be beat.
He had a most phenomenal brain, and criminals lived in dread
At the stunning bolts of intellect which flashed inside his head.

CHORUS: "Oh, how do you do it, Holmes?" "Elementary, my dear Watson.
I knock spots off the criminal mind, providing it's got spots on.
Crimes that trouble lesser men and leave ‘em all at sea
To my deductive intellect are elementary."

2. One winter's night in Baker Street, sitting by the fire,
Watson did the crossword and of Holmes he did inquire:
"One across is hard," he said; "the name as a French resort."
" A la Monterrey dear chap," was the master’s quick retort.

3. The great man's friend was much impressed and gave another clue:
"This one's a stinker," Watson said; "Let's see what you can do.
'Must be digestions waterway' that makes no sense to me."
"The answer's simple, Watson; it is 'alimentary.' "(canal!)

4. While Watson stayed at Baskerville, Holmes was in disguise,
But revealed himself upon the moor to Watson's great surprise.
"The hound's abroad," the great man said above the wind and storm.
It sates its lust for flesh upon the beach at Benidorm

5. On the trail of Moriarty, Watson one day found
Holmes just like an Indian scout lying on the ground.
"He's heading for the continent by the road to Dover.
I know this to be true because his carriage run me over."

6. With Moriarty cornered at the Reichenbacher Falls,
At last the great detective had him by the short & curlies.
Moriarty dragged his rival into the abyss,
But Holmes he made a comeback; it was a piece of cake.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Holmes and Watson (from M Ryan & P Harris
From: GUEST,Mick Ryan
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 08:27 AM

How we laughed! talk about Chinese whispers!
Should be:-

I knock spots off the criminal mind
Providing it's got spots on
Crimes that baffle lesser men, and leave Le Strade at sea
...(etc.)

and

'A la Monterey, dear chap', was the master's quick retort

and

'Must be digestion's waterway..'

and

it feeds upon the flesh upon the beach at Benidorm

and

....it was a piece of duff'


I've just develo[ped a stinking cold, and this exchange has cheered me up no end!

many thanks,

Mick Ryan

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Holmes and Watson (from M Ryan & P Harris
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Sep 21 - 05:13 PM

How valuable is this group! Here I am, preparing to play Holmes & Watson on my show, and trying to pin down the same words we all are! And in comes Mick Ryan himself to clear up our confusion! Bless you, Mick!
Now...did you write this, Mick?
xox
cindy funk
The Dear Green Place - WYSO

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Holmes and Watson (from M Ryan & P Harris
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 23 Sep 21 - 06:26 PM

Yes he did, Cindy!

All being well I expect to see Mick for his first post-lockdown indoor Sunday afternoon singaround session in Poole, Dorset, this coming Sunday and will let him know that you've posted to this thread.

Kitty

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Holmes and Watson (from M Ryan & P Harris
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Nov 22 - 07:17 AM

A favourite published in The Scottish Students' Songbook in severall editions.