Animal Songs

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 00 - 01:56 PM

And the Unicorn song...

..there! I said it! And I'm glad, d'ye hear me! GLAD!!!

(Exit stage right pursued by three green alligators, and a long-necked goose, en route to the Neil Young Centre...

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Feb 00 - 01:31 PM

Sow took the measles,
Derby Ram,
The Peeler and the Goat,
The Wonderful Crocodile,
Mairzy Doats,
Three little fishies,
Carrion Crow,
Three Ravens,
Bangum and the Boar,
St. George and the Dragon,
Scewball,
Creeping Jane and a host of Westerns involving horses,
Leather-winged bat,
Possum up a gum tree,
Cow-cow boogie,
and on and on.

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Bert
Date: 22 Feb 00 - 12:51 PM

The old sow song

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Molly Malone
Date: 22 Feb 00 - 12:15 PM

Scroll down here and look for Ded Bob's Dysfunctional Farm. You can change the name...but I thought you might enjoy it.

Subject: Lyr Add: BONGOLO / BONGOLOLO
From: Osmium
Date: 21 Feb 00 - 07:05 PM

I grew up in Africa and there was a legendary beast called Bongolo which was a jet black centipede about 6 inches long who would always turn up in the playground when least expected. We would play for a while and then in a moment of distraction the bongololo would have disappeared although quite how would be a mystery as it always seemed to move very slowly but disappear very quickly. Later said Bongolo would turn up wherever we went and the modern myth is that it's in fact the same one. So I wrote this song to celebrate a bit of my childhood.

And whether great or whether small
my favourite animal of all
Has a thousand legs or maybe more
and goes bongololo when he's sure

First he looks this way and then he looks that
as if he was waiting to take off his hat
But hat he has not, nor tail, nor ears
and when long thin and black maybe no fears

When moving along he goes at great speed
one bong and a go, one lo and a bong
which is why we gave him a name to pay heed
to follow these moves takes animal creed

But there is one secret I have to tell
look away for a sec and all won't be well
For when you look back he's sure to be gone
and the theory of this is the rest of my song

for when you are watching my little black friend
his legs go very fast but his body's no end
and when you are not his legs go very slow
but his body goes BONG as a rocket might go.

there's another verse but my finger is tired. I don't have a tune for it - any suggestions?

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Osmium
Date: 21 Feb 00 - 06:39 PM

How about the Beatles "Blackbird singing in the dead of the night" - or is this to knew to be folk yet?

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: kendall
Date: 21 Feb 00 - 06:27 PM

O'Gradys Goat??

...they were having a party at McNills and they were having fun,
all of a sudden An earthquake come and everybody run,
the oyster stew fell on the floor and nearly drowned the cat,
the stove was smashed to smithereens and O'Grady's goat done that..

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Susan A-R
Date: 30 Dec 99 - 09:46 PM

I'm pretty sure Bob Franke does have a website. I ran across it about three years ago, so I'd guess it is still there, with lyrics. We also had a thread on a great song about a pig

[TAILS AND TROTTERS]

What'll I be when I get older
You're bacon, butt and picnic shoulder
All my sons and all my daughters
are hocks and hams and tails and trotters.

The piglet does escape and becomes executive pork. I believe it's on the Bok Muir Tricket So May We Yet album.

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: JenEllen
Date: 30 Dec 99 - 01:43 AM

Susan: William the Streak sounds perfect...thanks

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Victoria
Date: 29 Dec 99 - 10:37 PM

John McCutcheon has a great song on his "Autumnsongs" album, called "I am a Bird Dog (watch me fly)"!, and I love his "Rubber Blubber Whale" song for kids. Kate Rusby has a song on her latest CD called "Cowsong"...and Pete Seeger recorded "Who built the Ark? (Noah, Noah") that names the animals as they go through. Good luck with your project! :-)

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Susan A-R
Date: 29 Dec 99 - 10:33 PM

The Flanders and Swann Hippopotamus song is also great. It is in Rise Up Singing, and I may be able to pry music out of my husband who wrote it out for a concert (he also wrote out the gnu song.) I also have the Leon Rosselson book around somewhere, Andy's Front Hall carries it, and it is a great one.

Bob Franke did a terrific song called William the Streak about a greyhound who is adopted and moves in next to a sheep farmer. The two come to a remarkable agreement.

Leather Winged Bat is nice.

Stewball on the Horse front

I suppose the Stan Rogers Doberman Disaster [Woodbridge Dog Disaster] would be right out, but it is a lot of fun.

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: JenEllen
Date: 29 Dec 99 - 08:32 PM

No fear T-Bird, we're still hanging in there. I'm just wrapped in the bowels of promotion. Geez, it stinks in here. But, it's a necessary function nonetheless. Take care, Elle

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird)
Date: 29 Dec 99 - 09:32 AM

JenEllen, let us know how your concert goes. T.

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Tim Salt
Date: 27 Dec 99 - 05:30 PM

Leon Rosselson has written some of the best songs including some on an animal theme:)

Kangaroos Like To Hop - Great fun for kids ( and grown-up kids)

Free To Roam - Fantastic song which works at different levels depending on the audience. Probably great for the Humane Society.

Both songs are on a Roy Bailey album - Why Does It Have To Be Me? Fuse Records CFCD 396.

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: BK
Date: 27 Dec 99 - 05:09 PM

BIG OOPS! the correct source for "Aunt Emily" is the wonderful & wacky Berrymans, who are easy to find on the web. My only excuse is having a severe flu & should be in bed - not on the Mudcat. My humblest apologies to Peter, Lou, & Andy

Lo Siento, BK

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: BK
Date: 27 Dec 99 - 04:53 PM

I didn't see "Waltzing with Bears" (generally loved by kids - & corny adults like me), nor it's -sort of- sequel/prequel "Aunt Emily" by Andy Wilkinson, out of north Texas. In it, she sings in her sleep, attracts bears, with whom her hubby, the famous Uncle Walter, starts waltzing... Severely cute & great chorus for a sing-along. Andy is a cowboy poet, songwriter, balladeer, historian & well worth seeing if you're lucky enough that he comes your way. Also plays a lot for kids at schools & festivals, in the historian/teaching-with-song-&-story mode. I'll try to find where I put his internet address if anybody is interested (for permission, words, etc..).

Cheers, BK

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 27 Dec 99 - 02:57 PM

I've heard that greyhound is the best skin for a bodhran. But I can't see it myself.

Here's a slightly different version of The Body in the Bag

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: JenEllen
Date: 27 Dec 99 - 02:50 PM

To Blackcat2: Don't delve too deep into your psyche, you might leave a mark. You want irony? My big girl job is trying to keep these critters ALIVE, yet my favorite animal song is Kat-Fox Hamilton's "Chipmunk with a Death Wish", where the little beastie is trying to die and no one will let him. Elle.

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Wordwitch
Date: 27 Dec 99 - 01:13 PM

How about THE FOX, also right here in the DT? I've loved this song ever since I listened to Belafonte sing it on the record player when I was a tyke.

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Blackcat2
Date: 27 Dec 99 - 11:40 AM

OH!

I forgot another of my favorite animal(dead) songs - Nell Flaherty's Drake

My god, why is it I love dead animal songs - I really do like animals - I even visit friends specifically to see their pets sometimes. I've got to think of an animal song that doesn't deal with death that I really like. .. . Hmmmmmmm

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: dwditty
Date: 27 Dec 99 - 11:36 AM

Dave Van Ronk covers several animal songs on his Peter and The Wolf tape/CD. Swinging on a Star, Glad to be a Moose [Proud to Be a Moose], Mairzy Doats, etc.

DW

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 27 Dec 99 - 04:48 AM

I'm kinda sleepy and forgot the line breaks to the chorus of "The Wild West Show."

Oh, We're goin' to the Wild West Show:
, We'll see the elephant and the wild kangaroo.
Never mind the weather, As long as we're together.
We're going to the wild west show!

The melody is close to "Careless Love."

I learned it from a girl working during the summer at Mt. Hood's Timberline Lodge (Kubrick's Overlook Hotel).

--seed

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 27 Dec 99 - 04:34 AM

There's "Cats on the Rooftop"--a long way from squeaky clean.

Bill Groggins' Goat [Bill Grogan's Goat]

And "The Wild West Show"--actually about a menagerie. Only the chorus is sung:

Oh, we're going to the Wild West Show,
We'll see the elephant and the wild kangaroo,
Never mind the weather, as long as we're together,
We're going to the Wild West Show.

A typical verse:

(spoken, as if by a guide to the zoo): Step right this way ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. In this first cage, we have the Ooo-ah bird.

(audience response). The Ooo-ah bird?

(guide) That's right, the Ooo-ah bird.

(audience) And what does the Ooo-ah bird do?

(guide) The Ooo-ah bird, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, is native to the Hawaiian Islands. It derives its name from the fact that although it weighs only one pound, it lays a two-pound egg. Hence the OOOOOOO-Aaahh...

Other verses tell about the kee-kee bird, the lee-oh-pard, the male alligator, the woo-foo bird, the elephant, the Rhodesian talking frog, and the bowdeeni bird. I added the last two--it's easy to make up your own.

--seed

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Marymac90
Date: 26 Dec 99 - 06:15 PM

How about "If I Were a Moose" by Fred Small. It's an allegory based on a true story, about a bull moose who really did come a-courtin' a cow, in New England somewhere, I think.

"If I were a moose and you were a cow
Would you love me anyhow?
Would you introduce me to your folks?
Would you tell your friends 'No moose jokes!'"

Or there's another one by Fred based on a different true story-"Hot Frogs on the Loose", about frogs that were exposed to radioactive stuff at a nuclear power plant. It's great with kids, cause there are different noisy parts for the audience to do, such as the frogs going "Gurk, gurk" and the frightened populace screaming.

Mary McCaffrey

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Hoolet
Date: 26 Dec 99 - 02:42 PM

As long as it doen't have to be PC

He's Nobody's Moggy Now by Eric Bogle,
The Last Leviathan.
The animals went in two by two [One More River],
Froggy went a-courting,
El condor pasa

lots and lots. Good luck

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: MudGuard
Date: 26 Dec 99 - 02:15 PM

Liz, the Bodhran Song is funny for the goat as the goat WANTS to become a bodhran!
MudGuard

Subject: Lyr Add: MARKING UP MY WINTER WONDERLAND
From: JenEllen
Date: 23 Dec 99 - 03:37 PM

Hey all; Thanks for the glorious noise. Emily and Gargoyle, thanks for the songs. OkieMockingbird, we may have to resort to "greasy grimy gopher guts"..lord help us..and I think it's John McCutcheon. One of those kids' albums anyway, that does a smash-up version of "Over In the Meadow" with kids included. Will look for "Castration of the Strawberry Roan"...I am a veterinary technician, and it is myself and fellow techs putting together this show. Blackcat2, we have been FORBIDDEN to even mention the Unicorn song (bg), Dan would have fits. We'll end up with nothing but "Dead Techs Aren't Much Fun"...At least we have some cool stuff to work with now. Including the only clean song Liz's dad ever taught her (ebg). Adding to the pile, for Mary's Yorkie, this is one that my folk buddy, the guy that's doing our show, e-mailed to my dog. (think winter wonderland)

Dog tags ring, are you listening
In the lane, snow is glistening
It's yellow, not white, I've been here tonight
Marking up my winter wonderland

Smell that tree? That's my fragrance
It's a sign for wandering vagrants
"Avoid where I pee, it's my prop-er-ty!"
Marked up as my doggie wonderland

In the meadow dad will build a snowman
Following the classical design
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man
So all the world will know that it's
MINE MINE MINE

Straight from me to the fence post
Flows my natural incense boast
"Stay off my turf, this small piece of earth
I've marked it as my Winter Wonderland"

It beats the ever-living crap out of what I was singing to the dog before. (Pacing the floors, in pants with back doors, walking in my winter underwear.....) Merry Christmas to all you Mudcatters, I'm lucky to have found you. Elle

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Blackcat2
Date: 23 Dec 99 - 11:17 AM

oddly enough most (if not all) of my fav. animal songs are about their demise. Can't understand why - I really do like animals a lot, I was even going into Zoology years ago until that first semester of fruit fly larvae dissection.

Anyway, here's my list, though whether these are appropriate for the Humane Society is debatable.

Somebody's Moggie [He's Nobody's Moggy Now] (Eric Bogle)
Dead Skunk (Loudon Wainwright III)
Dead Puppies (Aren't Much Fun) (Ogden Edsl)
Fish Heads (Barnes & Barnes)
The Unicorn (Shel Silverstein)

oh well . . .

I like Three Drunk Newts too - and they don't die from what I can remember :-)

pax yall

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: margaret
Date: 23 Dec 99 - 10:24 AM

Robin Williamson did a funny song called, I think, "Zoo Blues," in which all manner of animal puns are used to tell of the demise of a relationship, along the lines of "when I had the bucks, my deer, you were so fawn, but now my doe is gone and you're so colt to me. . ." It runs along very quickly and I admit to finding myself singing it with alarming frequency while driving in the car.

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Midchuck
Date: 23 Dec 99 - 10:17 AM

There's always "The Castration of the Strawberry Roan," which I believe can be found in Digitrad - an "animal song" in at least two senses of the word. Probably not what you'd do at a children's party. I'm afraid I know some children who would demand to hear it again and again...

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Okiemockbird
Date: 23 Dec 99 - 10:12 AM

JenEllen, are you new to the Mudcat, or have you been posting under another name ? If you're new, then welcome. If you're a long-time regular, hi anyway. T.

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Okiemockbird
Date: 23 Dec 99 - 09:52 AM

J. Freeman, thanks for the source info.

When I sing verse five, I don't sing "old mother bee and her little bees five", I change it to "honey bee queen and her worker bees five." More zoologically correct.

Could "Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts" by considered an animal song ?

T.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE GNU SONG^^
From: Wincing Devil
Date: 23 Dec 99 - 09:43 AM

Flanders And Swann did a whole series of amimal songs. My Favorite is "I'm a GNU!"

A year ago last thursday, I was strolling in the zoo
When I met a man who thought he knew the lot
He was laying down the law about the habbits of baboons
And the number of quills a porcupine has got
So I asked him "What's that creature's name?" and he answered "That's a helk!"
And I'd have gone on thinking that was true
If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame,
And remarked-"I ain't a helk-I'm a gnu!

I'm a gnu-I'm a gnu
The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo
I'm a gnu, how do you do?
You really oughtta g-know w-who's w-who
I'm a gnu-spelt G - N - U
I'm not a camel or a kangaroo
So let me introduce, I'm neither man nor moose
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!"

I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-Sea
Whence I travelled on to Aston-under-Lyne
On the second night I stayed there I was wakened from a dream
Which I'll tell you all about some other time
Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed
Stuffed and mounted was a face I thought I knew
A bison? An okapi? Could it be a hartebeast?
Then I seem to hear a voice: "I'm a gnu!

I'm a gnu, a g-nother gnu
I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you
I'm a gnu, how do you do?
You really oughtta g-know w-who's w-who
I'm a gnu-spelt G - N - U
Call me bison or okapi and I'll sue
Nor am I in the least like that dreadful hartebeast
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!"

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Dec 99 - 08:32 AM

From what I remember of it, it isn't particularly funny for the goat, remember what bodhrans are made of>>>>!

LTS

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: MudGuard
Date: 23 Dec 99 - 02:54 AM

There is the funny Bodhran Song which is about a goat. It did not yet find its way into the database but can be found here:
The Bodhran Song
MudGuard

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Dec 99 - 02:42 AM

How about some hymns?

Gladly, my cross-eyed bear

or Just as I am, without one flea......

I learnt this one from my father, the only clean song he ever taught me....

THE TALE OF A GUINEA PIG

How can you tell if a guinea pig is pleased if he hasn't got a tail to wag?
All other animals you will find, have got a little tail stuck on behind.
If they'd only put a tail on a guinea pig, and finished off a decent job,
The price of the animal would then go up, from a guinea up to 30 bob.

(guinea = £1 and 1 shilling, pre-decimal coinage, so they tell me. Bob is an abbreviation for a shilling.) Can't write the tune, but it goes well as a monologue.

LTS

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: _gargoyle
Date: 23 Dec 99 - 12:50 AM

Thanks Mr. Freeman,

The lyrics were buried in a section of four-year-old's-memory-recesses of my brain...

The tune and lyrics have tumbled out refreshed after all these years.

THANX....

When I find the midi cord (tomorrow?) the three tune can be added.

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: JamesJimFolk
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 11:57 PM

"All God's Critters got a place in the choir," by Bill Staines -

Chorus "All God's Critters got a place in the Choir,
Some sing low, some sing higher,
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire,
Some just clap their hands or feet, or anything they got, now.

I'm sure it's on a folk website somewhere, but can get you the verses, if you like.

Jim

Subject: Lyr Add: OVER IN THE MEADOW
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 11:57 PM

I have these words for Over in the Meadow from the Faber Book of Nursery Verse.

Over in the meadow in the sand in the sun
Lived an old mother turtle and her little turtle one
Dig said the mother We dig said the one
So they dug all day in the sand in the sun

2: where the stream runs blue / fish/fishes/swim/swam

3: in a hole in a tree /owl owls / Tu-hoo/ Tu-hooed

4: by the old barn door/ rat/little ratties/ gnaw/gnawed.

5: in a snug behive/ bee/bees/ buzz/ buzzed.

6: in a nest built of sticks/ crow/crows/caw/cawed

7: the gras grows so even/ frog/froggies/ jump/ jumped

8: by the old mossy gate/lizard/lizards/bask/basked

9: by the old scotch pine/duck/ducks/quack/quacked

10: in a cosy we den/beaver/beavers/beave/beaved

Jon

PS No Unicorns yet?

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: frank m.
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 11:41 PM

don't forget "four wet pigs"

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: paddymac
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 11:34 PM

Don't overlook the cat fart thread, wherein resides a marvelous little ditty of the same name. [The Cat Farts Serenade] Maybe it's most funny to cat lovers. Cats and I seem to have a mutual toleration pact, but I still think the song is hilarious.

Subject: Lyr Add: SING SAID THE MOTHER (from Cecil Sharp)
From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird)
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 11:22 PM

This one isn't in the DT

Sing, said the mother
Source: Olive Dame Campbell and Cecil J. Sharp, English Folk Songs from the Southern Appalachians, G.P. Putnam's Sons, New York, 1917.

1. Over in the meadows in the nest in the tree
Lived an old mother birdy and her little birdies three.
Sing, said the mother; we sing, said the three.
So they sang and were glad in the nest in the tree.

2. Over in the meadows in the sand in the sun
Lived an old mother toady and her little toady one.
Hop, said the mother; we hop, said the one.
So they hopped and were glad in the sand in the sun.

3. Over in the meadows in a sly little den
Lived an old mother spider and her little spiders ten.
Spin, said the mother; we spin, said the ten.
So they spun and caught flies in their sly little den.

I have a recording of this with ten verses, but these three are the only ones I can provide provenance information for.

T.

Subject: Lyr Add: CONGO RIVER / THE MONKEY'S WEDDING
From: Barry Finn
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 08:51 PM

Here's a beast of a shanty, from the Carribean, it's in the DT (Congo River 2), these are extra verses. Also known as the Monkey's Wedding. Barry

Who do you think do the music form them
Calliali (sp?) Band with a drumfish playing

Butterfish get up to sneak a piece
Baboon say leave me cake alone

Who do you think do the cermonony
Blackfish King do the cermonony

Who do you think do the music form them
Calliali (sp?) Band with a drumfish playing

Butterfish get up to sneak a piece
Babboon say leave me cake alone

Monkey get up to share some rice
Babboon say leave me rice alone

Where do you think go for holiday
Out on a raft in Montego Bay

What do you think that they do on the water
Monkey & Babboon fight till the slaughter

What do you think they had for supper
Blackfish tail & a dip of the scupper

Subject: Lyr Add: MIDNIGHT RUN
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 08:04 PM

Only us Yorkie lovers understand this one...To the tune of Jingle Bells.

Stomping thru the snow,
Just me and my Yorkie.
Over the fields we go,
Just so she will pee.

Darkness all around,
We know she won't obey.
Her nose is anchored to the ground
Sniffing all the way. Hey!

Midnight Run
Where's the sun?
Can't we make this quick?
When I think we're almost done
She finds something to lick. Ick!

Midnight Run
Ain't this fun?
The snow is glistening bright.
When she turns around and looks at me
Her beard is full of white.

I can't suppress a yawn
When she finally picks a spot.
On my neighbor's lawn
She turns and takes a squat.

She's not quite done it's clear,
Impatience makes me sigh
When I see my Yorkie disappear
in a snow drift two feet high.

Subject: Lyr Add: JOHNNY DOOLAN'S CAT (from Burl Ives)
From: _gargoyle
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 07:39 PM

Another fun one - also not able to find it in the DT....

JOHNNY DOOLAN'S CAT
As recorded by Burl Ives

You may have seen some wonders
But we'll bet our Sunday hat
You haven't seen as big a one
As Johnny Doolan's Cat.

You needn't contradict us.
If you do, you'll get us vexed,
For we know there's not an equal
In this world or in the next.

They say a cat has seven lives,
But this has many more;
Unto our certain knowledge,
It's already had a score.

They've often tried to drown it
Or to kill it with a knife
But all in vain, for Doolan's cat
Will not depart this life.

And it's still alive and prowling (meow)
Still alive and howling (Meow)
Still alive and growling (MEOW)
Is Johnny Doolan's Cat.

I will work out the tunes to both of these.

---

Johnny Doolan's Cat is from "Something to Sing About - The Personal Choices of America's Folk Singers" collected and arranged by Milton Okun, Choice of Burl Ives, The Macmillan Company, London, 1968, p40.

---

Click to play

---

Version in DT (click)

---

Sheet music exists for:
JOHNNY DOOLAN’S CAT
Words by George Horncastle, music by John Cooke.
Published in London by Francis, Day & Hunter, 1890.
“Sung by Rhodes & Conley.”
First line: “You may have seen some wonders”

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: emily rain
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 07:11 PM

how about the newer, all animal version of mole in the ground?

do you know "I'm Proud to Be a Moose" by someone who's name i never learned?

then there's LITTLE BROWN DOG

and the peter paul and mary version thereof: AUTUMN TO MAY

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Jeri
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 05:36 PM

Ack - and there's one that'll leave the rolling on the floor if you can find the lyrics. It's called "Don't Pet The Dog," by John Robert Hadley. I seem to recall a discussion on it in here, but I don't recall the name of the thread. Maybe somebody else can help. It's on this tape, which looks interesting. There's a sound (wav) file here

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Jeri
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 05:22 PM

Here's BODY IN THE BAG. I've heard this sung a few times, but still can't remember the whole tune. Also, in the fourth verse, where it says: "But do you want a room?"'
I've heard it sung "But do you parlez-vous?"

TONGUE TWISTER
I wish there was a tune for THE NEIGHBOUR'S CAT
And this one is far from squeaky-clean, but it's very funny: DOGS MEETING - an explanation of why dogs smell each other's butts.

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: Jenny
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 05:11 PM

Forgot about Dead Puppies...Kind of along the same lines as "The cat got dead", another gem.

Subject: RE: Animal Songs
From: MMario
Date: 22 Dec 99 - 04:53 PM

Billy the Squid