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BS: It's so cold that...
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Subject: It's so cold that... From: Owlkat Date: 14 Jan 00 - 09:48 PM Hi hi, It's so cold up here that... Your serve. Cheers, Owl/Mart ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Mbo Date: 14 Jan 00 - 09:50 PM ECU actually cancelled classes! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Clifton53 Date: 14 Jan 00 - 09:52 PM ,,,gate won't close, the railings froze |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: fulurum Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:00 PM i can't follow your lead in, bt where i am its 7 degrees with a wind chill of minus 17. that makes it colder than a mother-in-laws kissor its cold enough to test your frosticles. keep warm |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Sorcha Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:06 PM FROSTICLES????? Are they related to penstemmons? |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: kendall Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:11 PM I put a bucket of boiling water out on the porch..it froze so quick the ice was still warm. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Amaranth Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:14 PM it'll freeze the balls off a brass monkey...and before anyone gets too upset, this expression goes back to the time of Frobisher and Arctic exploration. British ships carried cannon balls on a rack made of brass, called a brass monkey. When the temperature went low enough the rack would contract enough that the balls would fall off. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: catspaw49 Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:16 PM Yeah, I guess it IS cold!!! I was sitting here a moment ago when I heard this tingly, kind of a tiny crashing sound. Scared the hell out if me. I investigated and found that the left nut had fallen off my brass monkey! Completely shattered!!! Geeziz......... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: fulurum Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:18 PM well they both contain many seeds, but ones a plant and one ain't. my big question is why would you want to test a frosticle? |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Bill D Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:26 PM it was so cold that even the fishes' lips were blue... or...THIS cold |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Art Thieme Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:28 PM ...I had to chop my dog off the fire hydrant. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: JamesJim Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:29 PM That I'm afraid to blink for fear my eyeballs'ill freeze shut. Jim |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Art Thieme Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:37 PM ...the snakes froze and we used 'em for fence posts. In the Spring the snakes thawed out and the fences crawled away. ...so cold the exhibitionists were all describing themselves. ...all the train whistles froze. The first thawing days of Spring were filled with a symphony of all the train whistles that had frozen during the winter. Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Art Thieme Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:41 PM ...so cold in Chicago last year a friend of mine moved to Evanston, IL to escape Chicago's winters. (Chicago and Evenston are didvided by a single, shared common street.) Art (again) |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Sorcha Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:44 PM Art, better watch out for your dog's penstemmons.... Oh golly, this is the first time I have ever really lol'ed in front of this one eyed monster. Colder than a well digger's wallet? |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: catspaw49 Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:50 PM Holy Keericed!!!! Now the right one is gone too!!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Little Neophyte Date: 14 Jan 00 - 10:52 PM Instead of focusing so much on the cold, I think you guys should 'drum up' some ways to keep warm. I could think of a couple. BB |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: fulurum Date: 14 Jan 00 - 11:06 PM we could gather up all the penstemmons we can find and then burn the damn things. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: MMario Date: 14 Jan 00 - 11:11 PM penstemmons, aren't those the ones you can bend and they will hold the shape you bend them too? BB - I could think up some ways to keep warm, but I got slapped once today, so I won't mention them. MMario |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: TheMuse Date: 14 Jan 00 - 11:14 PM BB, so can I!! Is this where those guys with the high testosterone levels come in? Or do we just go to the tavern and have a hot chocolate? :-) TheMuse |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Sorcha Date: 14 Jan 00 - 11:15 PM Bend them 'stemmons down, gals, bend them stemmons down Prettiest gal I ever did see was bendin' stemmons down |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: fulurum Date: 14 Jan 00 - 11:21 PM ouch!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Little Neophyte Date: 14 Jan 00 - 11:22 PM See MMario & TheMuse, I can feel the place heating up around here already. I think when the testosterone levels get too high, it will be time for the Polar Bear Swim Club tryouts BB |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: MarkS Date: 14 Jan 00 - 11:25 PM I shouted to my neighbor across the street and the words froze so fast he wont hear me till Spring. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: northfolk/al cholger Date: 14 Jan 00 - 11:29 PM So damn cold in Detroit we had to kick start the beagle to get him to chase a rabbit...temperature fell so quick this morning that the mercury in the thermometer pinned a rat to the floor...talk about cold. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: sophocleese Date: 14 Jan 00 - 11:30 PM My breath froze, dropped, and cracked the pavement. I won't hear it till March. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Escamillo Date: 14 Jan 00 - 11:48 PM Today it has been so hot in Buenos Aires, that I came home with a cooked chicken that I had bought raw in downtown. Spaw, I loughed so loud reading your post that the whole family and the two dogs got out of the tub and came to see what happened. Un abrazo - (no, please - cheerings only) - Andrés |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: catspaw49 Date: 15 Jan 00 - 12:11 AM Bad news Andres........The head fell off about 5 minutes ago and there are severe cracks forming around the tail. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: katlaughing Date: 15 Jan 00 - 12:12 AM you could hear a pin drop outside on the ice....."down under" when the sound wave finally hit there my dawg used the indoor cat box the tv signals froze on a ribbon of microwaves so'se the only television shows ya could see were strung outside like a clothesline |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Les B Date: 15 Jan 00 - 12:31 AM Colder than a witche's tit -- though who'd have the brass balls to find out ?!? |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: katlaughing Date: 15 Jan 00 - 12:32 AM And, I thought it was a welldigger's arse! |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Metchosin Date: 15 Jan 00 - 12:33 AM Its as cold as charity...... |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: catspaw49 Date: 15 Jan 00 - 12:39 AM **************** MONKEY UPDATE ******************* Tail snapped...Deep fissures appearing all over. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: JenEllen Date: 15 Jan 00 - 12:40 AM It's so cold that when the phone rang at 3a.m. I almost stayed in bed. So cold in that barn at 3:30, that my fingers were blue under the nails. So cold that all the animals were steaming. So cold that the little calf I pulled shook his head, gave a start, and made straight like he wanted to crawl right back where he came from!! So cold that even kat's "Wellies" song produced a faint chuckle, that immediately froze, fell to the ground, and was devoured by a goat. At least IT'S warm now...Elle |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Sorcha Date: 15 Jan 00 - 12:55 AM Well. spaw, as long as it's his tail and not his penstemmon! |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: catspaw49 Date: 15 Jan 00 - 01:15 AM ************** MONKEY UPDATE *************** Ass just crumbled. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: wildlone Date: 15 Jan 00 - 07:38 AM your beard freezes to the inside of your crash helmet. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Micca Date: 15 Jan 00 - 08:43 AM When I was at sea if someone came in to the Messroom and said it was cold outside everyone in chorus recited the following " As cold as a frog in an ice-bound pool As cold as the tip of an Eskimo's tool As cold as charity and thats F***ing chilly but it isn't as cold as our little Willy 'Cos He's dead poor bastard" amazing what strange customs grow up when you live in isolation for a time. BTW witches tits are NOT cold I promise you!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: katlaughing Date: 15 Jan 00 - 08:47 AM Ah, thank yew, Micca, wasn't quite sure how to put that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Willie-O Date: 15 Jan 00 - 09:06 AM I ain't dead just conserving energy... It's cold as a publisher's heart... Why its so cold my better half wants to drive my truck...which means I should have started her Tercel last night so it'd be warmed up by half an hour from now... W-O |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Frank Maher Date: 15 Jan 00 - 09:25 AM It's so Cold Here in Newfoundland,I have a Picture of My Mother on the Wall Knitting a Sweater.When I Just Looked at It,She had Her Hands over Her Ears!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Shimbo Darktree Date: 15 Jan 00 - 09:58 AM Kat, we heard that pin drop in Brisbane. In Tasmania (our most southern state, and my homeland), it gets so cold that, when filling up the car, the petrol (gas) station attendant asks whether you want one lump, or two. It was so cold one day, I had to quit smoking, because the smoke froze in the cigarette, and the flame froze to the match. But Queensland is much warmer :-) Hey, Willie-O, wattinhell is a Tercel ... or shouldnt I ask? Shimbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: jeffp Date: 15 Jan 00 - 10:03 AM I had to warm up the candle just to blow it out! |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: catspaw49 Date: 15 Jan 00 - 10:05 AM ************* MONKEY UPDATE ************** Whang popped off.......Chimps a goner............ Send new monkey. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: kendall Date: 15 Jan 00 - 12:16 PM Utah Phillips said it was so cold, he saw a chicken walking down the street with a CAPON |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: troll Date: 15 Jan 00 - 01:32 PM It's so cold it took me two hours to strike a match on a steam-powered grindstone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Date: 15 Jan 00 - 06:11 PM so quiet you can hear a pun drop ! WHO AM I ?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: katlaughing Date: 15 Jan 00 - 06:15 PM ShimDT, glad to hear the sound got there. A Tercel is a model of Toyota car. Here, Art, I think you dropped this she hands him back the pun she picked up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: catspaw49 Date: 15 Jan 00 - 06:19 PM ************ MONKEY UPDATE **************** Warmer today. Got replacement. Praying for warmer night. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: fulurum Date: 15 Jan 00 - 06:57 PM those long winters night, the fire burning bright, the fiddlers in the corner, by the flickering fire light, the laughter and good company, will make your spirits bright, theres music in the rafters ofthese long winters night. from tommy makems long winters night. who cares how cold it gets. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Clinton Hammond2 Date: 15 Jan 00 - 07:01 PM It's so cold... even the Canadians are complaining... But I'd like to know whre all this cold weather is... I just got in from my regular matinee and everything is melting it's so balmy.... I have a feeling some people here might be wimps... Keep Yer Stick On The Ice! |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Lanfranc Date: 15 Jan 00 - 07:21 PM I suggest an update to "The Frozen Logger" - see database. Perhaps "... at zero degrees Kelvin ...." ?? "It never snows here, it stays pretty green Gonna make a lot of money and quit this crazy scene" Joni Mitchell - The River
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Micca Date: 15 Jan 00 - 09:04 PM Hey Spaw have you tried lagging his pipework? a Walesism " they were snapping dogs off lamposts" and it wasn't in his daughters handwriting it was his sons!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Bill D Date: 15 Jan 00 - 09:10 PM gee, catspaw...you have had SO much trouble! you OBVIOUSLY need a Brass Monkey Freeze Indicator with RE-attachable parts! naaahh you don't owe me anything....I do it out of compassion |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Sorcha Date: 15 Jan 00 - 09:17 PM MONKEY ABUSE!! MONKEY ABUSE!! QUICK, CALL THE "PETA" PEOPLE!! NO MORE MONKEYS FOR YOU!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: catspaw49 Date: 15 Jan 00 - 09:20 PM LMAOWROTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is there ANYTHING that you can't get nowadays? I mean REALLY?? Geeziz Bill, I just may order one of these things!!! completely Nuts....Well they're a part anyway. Gotta' bookmark this site too, may come in handy down the road. Thanks Wild Bill!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Susan A-R Date: 15 Jan 00 - 11:02 PM It's so cold, I'm not even truly warm in the penguin suit tonight. Hope Michael comes home soon so he can share it with me. Two of us ought to warm the sucker up. Fulurum, are you in Vermont?? Susan A-R |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: steve in ottawa Date: 16 Jan 00 - 01:20 AM Well, when it gets cold, the dog starts hoppin' along on three feet. Ain't seen that this year. Now last year, my Dad claimed his dog started hoppin' along on two feet. But as my brother said, "Hmmm. Phone when he says the dog's hoppin' along on one foot." As for "Zero Degrees Kelvin" in "The Frozen Logger", well, all I can say is ANYONE knows it can't hit a thousand below zero, but the wind chill factor theoretically could... |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: paddymac Date: 16 Jan 00 - 02:36 AM so cold not even poor Uga can lick his frosticles. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Owlkat Date: 16 Jan 00 - 04:52 AM Hi hi, I'm very grateful for all of you coldisms. Thanks especially for the brass monkey site. Anyway, it's warmed up here in the Yukon to only -37c tonight. It hasn't hit -52 like it did the first year I lived up here. It's a good thing the summers are so glorious. They make it worth it. Cheers, Owl/Mart |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Micca Date: 16 Jan 00 - 06:23 AM Owlkat NOTHING is worth that, IMHO hell ( if it exists is not hot and fiery furnaces, its COLD, We were the first ship into Archangel one spring, 300 miles behind an Icebreaker, and the coldest I have ever been before or since. Thanks but no thanks, I hate the cold and snow ( now that I am not allowed to climb anymore) |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: katlaughing Date: 16 Jan 00 - 10:13 AM Wild Bill, that was incredible. Hey, ya'll, can you imagine what almost a pound per inch could do for six inches?!!**BG** Owlcat: brrrrrr, I've been in some of the coldest, with those windchills steve t mentioned, minus 50 farenheit, in Wyoming and I'd just as soon not have a repeat. I don't think a glorious summer could even make up for it! |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: paddymac Date: 16 Jan 00 - 11:22 AM I've heard it said that one of the reasons Alaksans consider their summers so glorious is that the food bill goes way down. All you have to do is leave the tent, breathe deeply, then spend the rest of the day chewing up that one mouthful of skeeters. Sort of reminds me of parts of Florida, and Wisconsin, and ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Bill D Date: 16 Jan 00 - 03:46 PM my father was a Western Union lineman...he set poles and ran lines all thru the west, but he liked to tell of being in some little town in Wyoming where they had been working straight thru some pretty cold weather...but there was also an 'official' weather bureau thermometer there, which registered down to -50°...and one day they went out, and found that thermometer BROKEN...they did NOT work that day!..(I suppose that, after that, they had to make do with specially configured Brass Monkeys ;>))...... |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Dave Swan Date: 16 Jan 00 - 08:52 PM Dear Mr. Catspaw, Having recently learned of the difficulties you've had with your brass monkey, I am pleased to offer you the products and services of PATS (Perfect Arctic Trousers for Simians) Often times cold can creep slowly upon your brass monkey, causing damage before any warning signs are evident. PATS offers its Look 'e's Freezing Those Numb Unprotected Testicles (LEFTNUT) alarm for just such an environment. As the temperature reaches freezing, you brass monkey is alerted to danger. As recording of Stormy Weather plays as a pleasant vibratory sensation is transmitted to your monkey's trousers. If he hears the tune, but doesn't receive the vibration, he's knows trouble is approaching. As we say at PATS, something's wrong if you hear the trill, but don't get the thrill. Batteries not included. For older monkeys whose compensatory mechanisms don't allow them to keep up with sudden changes in the weather, PATS suggests its Self Contained Retracting Omnibus Testicular Elevator (SCROTE). A fleece lined pouch designed to accept all or part of your monkey's manhood, it can extend the service life your your monkey by up to three years. The ultimate in winter comfort and safety is provided by our fur lined boxer shorts, available in a range of species. We call them: Heated Underwear, Mink, Muskrat, Ermine and Rabbit (HUMMER). Warmth, comfort and the certainty of a good time. Isn't that what any primate wants? Please feel free to contact me if any of these goods meet your requirements. Horace Hornbein, Western Sales and Services |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Dave Swan Date: 16 Jan 00 - 08:56 PM always proofreed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Troll Date: 16 Jan 00 - 09:20 PM All this talk of cold reminds me of just why I live in Florida.(and the skeeters ain't THAT bad) troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: catspaw49 Date: 16 Jan 00 - 09:24 PM I am completely focked here........LMAOWROTF and I think the screen will need cleaned.......El Swanno, I am not just impressed, but I think I may be having a crap attack laughing, and unfortunately the downstairs crapper is out in the side yard.....gotta go upstairs..........I'm back and have now had Connie, Wayne, and Karen all read this and they agree, you are completely nuts (of course that is the subject matter too)...............SPECTACULAR!!!!!! You've outdone even yourself!!! Spaw (Also wondering why we ALL invariably us "left nut"...Always say "I'd give my left" or "Cost your left nut"....Is it more valuable than the right?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Bill D Date: 16 Jan 00 - 09:43 PM most people are right-handed. etc..so 'RIGHT' has become what we most would hate to lose... (that is a fact I JUST made up for the occasion...feel free to quote it..) |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: catspaw49 Date: 17 Jan 00 - 12:05 AM And I want you to know how much we all appreciate it Bill. Its this type of completely unsubstantiated facts and totally fabricated nonsense that have made the folk process, and indeed most written history, so colorful and authoritarian sounding while grounded in a bedrock of pablum. I, for one, am proud of your efforts. Keep up the good work. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Escamillo Date: 17 Jan 00 - 12:12 AM Spaw, don't forget that the left one is connected with heart.. Un abrazo - Andrés |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: sophocleese Date: 17 Jan 00 - 12:50 AM Ah Ha! Its all just a sinister conspiracy concocted by a bunch of cold heartless bastards... |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: TimothyG1 Date: 17 Jan 00 - 12:51 AM My lawyer put his hands in his OWN pockets! |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Liz the Squeak Date: 17 Jan 00 - 06:09 AM Dave, can 'I put in an order for a SCROTE please, extra large, it sounds just what I need to keep my chesticles properly insulated and to enhance the cleavage. Sounds a darn sight more comfortable than those wonderbra things anyway! Do you do them in purple silk with those little ribbon things on them to keep your knickers up?? It is so cold here that I have worn socks and shoes twice this year!!! - those who know me not ~ I habitually wear sandals all year round, even when there is frost on the ground. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Roger the skiffler Date: 17 Jan 00 - 06:22 AM Dear Mr Catspaw, never mind the monkey, how are the possum and the heron coping? Concerned of Ascot [BTW: Art,loved your posts, I can just visualise the flashers holding up photos of themselves!] RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: It's so cold that... From: Skarpi Iceland Date: 17 Jan 00 - 07:38 AM Hello all , who is talking about cold??????. Here in Iceland the wheather is warm at the moment, rain no snow. But It wont be long, I think that it will snow again next week with some cold winds, brrrrrrrrrrr. I just got over the Influenza, so please take care of your self. all the best skarpi Iceland. |