Lyr Req: The Two Parsons

Subject: Lyr Req: The Two Parsons
From: GUEST,Kevin Irving
Date: 11 Jan 23 - 12:06 PM

This is a naughty, risqué (but yet very humorous), song about two clergymen, vicars whatever? The basic premis is that they are comparing notes on the various ladies of the congregation as they leave a particular morning or evening service. The two miscreants devise a system of identifying the ladies they’ve had “relations with” (at whatever level).
One will say “Ding” as a lady they are familiar with passes them, the other will say “Dong!” I did say it was naughty! To the extent that one suggests in the very last line that he is familiar with the wife of his colleague “ ….. and she’s a real dinger donger, Ding Dong!”

I heard the performed by Bill Redhead at the Marsden Inn Folk Club in South Shields. Bill wasn’t a regular contributor but I vividly remember him performing this in costume suggesting that this was a party night (think Mark Williams as Father Brown).

Can anyone help with lyrics of this very numerous song?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Two Parsons
From: cnd
Date: 11 Jan 23 - 01:41 PM

Not familiar with this one, but... looking online, there are a few promising options I can't listen to. Perhaps you may have a way of finding them? Or someone may know these and be able to say if it is or not

Ding Dong, Ping Pong - by Iain Kerr & Daphne Barker, from Banned! (1962)
Our Vicars Problem - by Kenny Cantor, from Try These On For Fun

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Two Parsons
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 11 Jan 23 - 02:49 PM

It's a Music Hall song, or at least it was adapted to such. Something like The Parson and the Clerk is the title. I can look it up if required. It was a regular on the folk scene in the 60s, but can't remember who performed it.

Subject: ADD: Muffin Man
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Jan 23 - 03:51 PM

Hmmm. Could it be The Muffin Man?

THE MUFFIN MAN

1
Now Ah’ve ’ad a lot of trouble in me life all through a muffin man;
’E thought ’e’d charm my wife with ’is muffins, wasn’t it an awful plan?
Ah never thowt when I ate ’em for me tea into what trouble Ah’d fall;
For hours and hours the, neighbours say, outside our ’ouse ’e’d bawl.
Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ’e sold ’is muffins as ’e went along
Ah never knew there was anything wrong to cause me grief or sorrow,
But now I ’ave to regret to say, she eloped with that muffin man yesterday
’E stole me ould wife’s ’eart away with ’is ring-a-ding-a-ding, ding-dong.

2
Now my brother Jim every Sunday’s engaged in ringin’ the ould church bell;
One Sunday mornin’ it did sound funny, the bell it didn’t ring so well.
Ah thowt Ah’d find out what was wrong and what ’ad made it stop;
Ah climbed up the belfry steps and when Ah reached the top:
Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, Ah soon discovered there was something wrong,
Ah found out the trouble ere Ah’d been there long, an’ Ah fell back astounded;
For there was brother Jim with a girl on ’is knee, an’ that’s why the bell didn’t ring so free,
For ’e was ticklin’ ’er you see between the ring-a-ding-a-ding, ding dongs.

3
Now a parson to ’is curate one Sunday morn said just for a little bit o’ fun,
‘Ah’ll bet Ah’ve kissed more ladies in this church than you.’ The curate ’e said, ‘Done!’
‘We’ll stand each side the old church door and this shall be our sign,
Ah’ll say ping-pong for the girls Ah’ve kissed and tha says ding-dong for thine
‘Ding-dong’, ‘Ping-pong’, ‘Ding-dong’, ‘Ping-pong’; There were more ding-dongs than there were ping-pongs.
Presently a nice little lady came along and the curate ’e said, ‘Ding-dong.’
The parson said, ‘No ding-dong there, for that’s my wife, Ah do declare!’
’E says, ‘Ah don’t give a bugger, Ah’ve still been there, she’s a ring-a-ding-a-ding, ding-dong.’

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Two Parsons
From: r.padgett
Date: 12 Jan 23 - 03:25 AM

Yes via Arthur Howard and sung by Will Noble on Yorkshire Garland ~ I sing it too!

Ray

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Two Parsons
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 12 Jan 23 - 02:21 PM

Joe and Ray have solved this one quickly.

Re The Parson and the Clerk I mentioned earlier, there are 2 songs with this title, one from tradition given in Peter Kennedy's Folk Songs of Britain and Ireland, but this only mentions a verse with bell ringing and is not related. However the other a rare 19th century broadside in the Madden collection has the same story in which the bell-ringing is replaced by the parson and clerk giving coughs instead of bell pulls, the outcome being the same. It has an extra moral on the end though, which is if the parson can boast of having that many of his parishioners he shouldn't complain when his wife has been at the same game.