BS: Houseparty

Subject: Houseparty
From: Vixen
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 10:26 AM

A parable.

Once upon a time, there was a generous soul who opened the doors of his/her house every Saturday for an all-day association of good music and fine companionship. At first, only a few friends came, but as time went on and the word spread, the friends told their friends, and the houseparties became more and more exciting and interesting. At one point, there were over fifty people coming over every Saturday.

But then things began changing. Some of the friends of friends of friends decided that the ballgame was more important than the music and chit-chat, so they turned on the tv and complained about the music. And some of the other friends of friends of friends came and didn't bring drinks for themselves, or snacks, or dishes for the communal meal. Instead, they "made themselves at home" by raiding the pantry and refrigerator of the host/ess. Others decided they didn't like the furniture where it was, and moved the chairs to other rooms, leaving them there when they left. And some folks didn't understand that empty glasses should be moved to the sink, and empty chip bags dropped in the trash.

Some of the folks who had come to enjoy the people and music stopped coming, leaving the friends of friends of friends in the majority of the houseguests. The parties became less and less about friends sharing life experiences and music. They became more and more a haven for strangers who didn't share anything with anyone.

One Saturday, the host/ess went into his/her bedroom to find someone going through the clothes closet. "What are you doing?" he/she asked. "Snooping, just like you," the person replied. "I live here," said the host/ess, "and I think you should leave." The person rather rudely pushed past the host/ess and left.

Finally, in disgust, the host/ess moved away, and started holding houseparties by invitation only. People with invitations were admitted. People without invitations were excluded. And new people were allowed in only on the recommendation of two or three others. The houseparties are now as big as they ever were, though not as frequent, and the dashing element of surprise, spontaneity, and discovery has been diminished. Everyone seems to have a good time, and keeps coming back, but everyone talks with an air of nostalgia about "the old days" when the doors were open.

But at least the "guests" know how to behave.

True story.

V

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: Barbara Shaw
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 11:31 AM

Very true. And I'm feeling very guilty about the glass I left in the bedroom at the jam last Friday night. Thank you, Vixen, for reminding all of us.

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: Bert
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 11:34 AM

Last Friday evening I heard a very similar story from a friend who 'no longer' hosts sings for the Philadelphia Folk Song Society.

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: bbelle
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 11:13 PM

REFRESH

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: JamesJim
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 06:41 PM

This has got to be a universal experience. I'd bet there are a lot of people who could have written this "tale." I certainly could have. This is no doubt a natural process, kinda like seperating the wheat from the chaff. But what great fun; the process of finding and making life-long friends! Sure, you have to cull a few misfits at times, but when you look back, wasn't it all worth it? Jim

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: bbelle
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 08:37 PM

REFRESH

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 09:22 PM

A very pertinent parable for Mudcatters right now. Thanks, Vixen.

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 09:34 PM

So sue me, but I'd prefer to be at the latter party rather than the former anyway....

Just my 0.02

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: BK
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 09:47 PM

Don't know that it means anything, but the open, laid back blue-grass jam I sometimes mannage to get over to on thursday nights has been going abt 20+ yrs, and if those involved can be credited - & I think they can - this has NEVER HAPPENNED. It's in the basement of a hardware store; no smoking, no booze; occasionally coffe or a little ice cream at the end, & an unwritten tradition that someone bring a brand new instrument bring ice cream... Just damn decent people of varrying degrees of skill & experience, good music & clean fun. What more can you ask for...

Cheers, BK

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: bbelle
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 11:06 PM

REFRESH

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: catspaw49
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 11:39 PM

A paradigm of the 'Cat? Sure hard to miss. Thanks Vix. I think the party is still going on but it may be time to clear up the trash and that's up to us. If we don't feed 'em or entertain them and concentrate on ourselves................hmmmm..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: GUEST,Fred
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 11:43 PM

Solution: Bluegrass.

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: GUEST,Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 01:10 PM

A truly touching story, and a familiar one. It reminds me of the old oxymoron, "Nobody goes there any more - it's too crowded." It makes me think that the ideal place to meet is in a pub or bar. Why don't we have folk clubs in America that meet in pubs, like they do in Britain? There's got to be one somewhere. What's the secret of its success? Any insights, anyone?

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: Troll
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 01:27 PM

We tried it. After trying to compete with the t.v. and the pool table for six months we left and went to someones house. True, we don't get people just dropping in and becoming aprt of the music, But neither do we get told to be quiet because The Simpsons is coming on.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: Marymac90
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 02:27 PM

The Mermaid in Philadelphia has music all 6 nights of the week that it's open, and usually the music is made by the patrons. Twice a month, for the Open Circle, we meet in the side room. No tv in there, and people take conversations lasting longer than the break between songs out to the bar, which is also where they can smoke. Everybody gets a turn or two. People listen, and they sing along and jam, unless the one who started the song prefers they don't. No dogma about what is folk-people do trad, originals, jazz, klezmer, swing, occaisionally something that rocks, or a story, or a poem. Sometimes people intro their song with some personal news, upcoming gigs, a milepost past, a loved one lost, etc. I really love it.

Mary McCaffrey

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 02:43 PM

Yes, Jim, unfortunatly too many of us have tried to gather at the local "pub" only to be asked to stop singing, as the others can't hear the game on the tv. There's one local place that allows us to sing on their patio one night a week in the summer- and patrons compliment us on the entertainment!

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: Barbara Shaw
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 03:19 PM

We used to have a monthly jam on the 1st Saturday afternoon of the month at the Dudley Farm in North Guilford, CT. It's a working 1850's farm museum, and people would come by to tour the place and enjoy the old-time string band music of the jam.

Then they got the bright idea that they should charge the musicians to play there, and that would raise more money for the restoration of the farm. That was the end of the monthly jam. Money spoke.

Subject: RE: BS: Houseparty
From: BK
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:06 PM

MM; Sounds great; never quite found anything that I percieved to be quite that friendly during 5 yrs in a metropolis not so far from you; though in the upper Susquehana vally it was really friendly like that, &, usually no smokin' where people were tryin' to breath & sing.

Cheers, BK