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Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir

DigiTrad:
GATHERING OF THE CLANS (continued)
THE BALL OF KERRIEMUIR (BALLYNORE)


Related threads:
If you don't get f** by saturday night./Kirriemuir (9)
Lyr Req: If you cannot get laid in the SCA... (33)
Lyr Add: Gathering of the Clan (5)
Four an' twenty virgins (8)
Lyr Add: The Ball of Ballynore (3)
Lyr Req: The Ball of Kerriemuir / ...Ballynore (9)


GUEST,Biozo 01 Feb 00 - 07:53 PM
Bob Bolton 01 Feb 00 - 09:43 PM
Amos 01 Feb 00 - 10:24 PM
GUEST,Bruce O. 01 Feb 00 - 10:55 PM
GUEST 02 Feb 00 - 02:54 AM
GUEST,vic peterson 02 Feb 00 - 07:22 PM
GUEST 03 Feb 00 - 01:36 AM
Midchuck 03 Feb 00 - 09:45 PM
GUEST 26 May 08 - 06:29 AM
Dave Hanson 26 May 08 - 10:31 AM
Joe_F 26 May 08 - 09:09 PM
topical tom 26 May 08 - 11:34 PM
GUEST 18 Sep 08 - 05:45 PM
Gurney 18 Sep 08 - 06:29 PM
Joe_F 18 Sep 08 - 09:03 PM
GUEST,Julia 16 Jul 09 - 02:50 PM
GUEST,Murray on Saltspring 16 Jul 09 - 03:17 PM
GUEST,Anne Ominous 12 Feb 11 - 04:28 PM
Joe_F 15 Feb 11 - 09:43 PM
michaelr 16 Feb 11 - 07:56 PM
Lighter 16 Feb 11 - 08:25 PM
Joe_F 17 Feb 11 - 05:07 PM
GUEST,AR 17 Feb 11 - 06:26 PM
Lighter 22 Feb 11 - 12:45 PM
Bob the Postman 22 Feb 11 - 01:42 PM
Joe_F 22 Feb 11 - 03:42 PM
Joe_F 26 Feb 11 - 11:12 PM
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Subject: The Ball of Kerrmuir
From: GUEST,Biozo
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 07:53 PM

Does anyone know chords to the old scottish song The ball of kerrymuir? Thanks Biozo


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kerrmuir
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 09:43 PM

G'day Biozo,

I'm glad to see that you really want the chords, not all the words. I seem to remember hearing that Cecil Sharp sat around a camp fire with a bunch of Highlander troops and tried to write down all the words. Around 3 am he ran out of paper!

As the classic Scots bawdy song, there are about as many verses as there are Scots!

Regards,

Bob Bolton


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kerrmuir
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 10:24 PM

This is readily worked out using your basic triad and second chords-- there are no tricky chords in it. I think the words (at least a huge number) are in the DT under The Gathering of the Clans.

C~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Balls of Keramuir, SIr, the Balls of Keramuir
C~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~F~~~~C~~~~~~~~~D~~~~~~~~~~~G~~~~
There was four and twentyy prostitutes went galloping 'cross the moor, singing...

C~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who'll do ye noo, sir, who'll do ye noo?
F~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~C~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~G~~~~~~C
THe one who did ye once before, he kinna do ye noo.



Repeat for each of the two hundred and eleven descriptions of unnatural acts. :>))

A


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kerrmuir
From: GUEST,Bruce O.
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 10:55 PM

The tune of it is "Bonny Jean of Aberdeen", and there are a couple of early versions of it as ABCs on my website in file S1 (along with Bonny Jean and The Stuttering Lovers). The tune was also used for Ballantine's "Castles in the Air". There are programs that will give chords from ABCs, e.g., ABCMUS.


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kerrmuir
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 02:54 AM

Thanks to everyone who has helped me. Biozo


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kerrmuir
From: GUEST,vic peterson
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 07:22 PM

The correct title is THE BALL OF KIRRIEMUIR

Four and twenty virgins came doon frae Inverness
When the ball was over there were four and twenty less
Singing balls te yer partner, erse against the wall
If you’ve never been f***** on a Saturday night,
Ye’ve never been f***** at all.

And there’s more

Later


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kerrmuir
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 01:36 AM

fa'll dee it this time,
fa'll dee it noo,
the 'yen that did it last time,
canna dee it noo.


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kerrmuir
From: Midchuck
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:45 PM

The chimney sweep, he was there, but they had to put him oot;

For every time he farted he would fill the room with soot..

Singing...

The queen was in the parlor, eating bread and honey;

The king was in the chambermaid, and she was in the money..

The letter-carrier 'e was there, the poor man had the pox.

He couldna' fook the ladies, so he fooked the letter-box...

Next!

Peter.


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kerrmuir
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 08 - 06:29 AM

The village vicar he was there,
Dressed in his black shroud,
He was hanging from the chandelier
and pi**ing on the crowd

The vicar's wife she was there,
She had the crowd in fits,
She was dropping from the chandelier
and landing on her t*ts

The village farmer he was there,
He danced with scythe in hand,
and every time he did a spin,
He circumcised the band

The village trickster he was there,
He did a super trick,
He pulled his cape around his head
and vanished up his pr*ck

The village virgin she was there,
She was dressed in white,
They pinned her to the barn door
and plastered her in sh*te.

The village maiden she was there,
She was dressed in red,
They pinned her to the barn door
and f**ked her till she bled.

The village blacksmith he was there,
His balls were made of brass,
and every time he did a jig,
Sparks flew up his ar*e


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kerrmuir
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 26 May 08 - 10:31 AM

The village granny she was there,
Sitting by the fire,
Knitting contraceptives,
Out of India rubber wire.

The village prostitute she was there,
She wasn't on the hunt,
She'd broken glass around her arse,
And barbed wire round her cunt.

eric


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: Joe_F
Date: 26 May 08 - 09:09 PM

At first they kept it simple; they did it he's and she's;
But when the ball got going, they were at it fives and threes.


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: topical tom
Date: 26 May 08 - 11:34 PM

For additional lyrics see this thread:Filthy Songs Everyone Should Know


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Sep 08 - 05:45 PM

collegiate lines

The freshmen girls all were there, looking rather scared
but they all need not worry, for i have come prepared.

The freshman guys all were there, talking up their games.
but i don't care cause we all know twas them alone theat made the stains

The local guitarist, he was there, a playin for the crowd.
girls be warned you get him home he's surely rather loud

the cheerleaders all had come, each looking for a man
but tired of their complaining the guys just used their hands

-Zak


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: Gurney
Date: 18 Sep 08 - 06:29 PM

The village idiot, he was there,
performed a mighty trick!
Pulled his foreskin over his head
and whistled through his prick, ....


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: Joe_F
Date: 18 Sep 08 - 09:03 PM

First lady forward, second lady back,
Third lady's finger up the fourth lady's etc.

Professor ---, he was there, he had a tiny thing.
He couldna do a woman, so he did a benzene ring.

There was fucking in the barnyards, fucking in the ricks,
You couldna hear the music for the swishing of the pricks.

Professor ---, he was there; he was out of luck:
He tried to change his axes in the middle of a fuck.

Professor ---, he was there, sitting on the stair,
Working out determinants upon his pubic hair.

The village doctor, he was there; abortion was his trade,
And when the ball was over, his fortune he had made.

The nurse and the doctor went out to watch the moon:
There'll be another little bastard floating down the river soon.

The choir boys, the choir boys, they were a sight to see:
Four and twenty maidenheads hanging from a tree.

The village musician, he was there; he did a nasty thing:
He shoved his trombone up his arse and played "God Save the King".

The bride was in the parlor, explaining to the groom:
The vagina, not the rectum, is the entrance to the womb.

One and twenty harlots cam down frae Aviemore,
Twenty single-shafted, but the last was double-bore.

The village chemist, he was there; he was rather sly,
Sitting in the lavat'ry and selling Spanish fly.

The Principal's wife, now she was there, sitting down in front:
Yackety-yackety-yackety-yackety-SHUT YOUR FUCKING ****!

The undertaker, he was there, dressed up in a shroud,
Swinging from the chandelier and pissing on the crowd.

The vicar's daughter, she was there; she kept us all in fits,
Jumping from the banister and landing on her tits.

Fucking in the parlor, fucking on the stairs --
You couldna see the dance floor for all the curly hairs.

When the ball was over, they put it to the test:
Of all the fucking goings-on, the fucking was the best.


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: GUEST,Julia
Date: 16 Jul 09 - 02:50 PM

I wrote a verse for this one though it might only be funny to those who are familiar with the Homeric epics and it's more violent than filthy.

One hundred and eight suitors in archery did contest, When the king won the contest there were many many less! (Draw the flat of your hand across your throat)


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: GUEST,Murray on Saltspring
Date: 16 Jul 09 - 03:17 PM

I'm rather proud of a verse I made up about fifty years ago:

The maister o the orchestra,

He went and lost his stick,

But he rose to the occasion

And conducted wi his prick.


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: GUEST,Anne Ominous
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 04:28 PM

Rugby:
Mrs. MacAllan swung from the chandelier
drippin' menstrual juices into everybody's beer...

The village lesbo, she was there, actin' mighty queer,
sittin' in the corner makin' candles disappear...


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: Joe_F
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 09:43 PM

In January 1997, on the newsgroup rec.music.folk, Stephen Suffet challenged the company to supply stanzas about persons of interest. Inasmuch as Google seems to have lost the thread, it seems reasonable to store the result here. I have corrected some minor errors in transcription & punctuation.

*

Wha do you lassie?
Wha do you noo?
The one wha did you last time,
He canna do you noo!

1. The Clancy Brothers they were there,
   Along with Tommy Makem.
   They waved their Finnegans in the air,
   But, alas, they could not wake 'em.

2. And Peter with his banjo,
   Was pickin' until dawn.
   Next morning all the lassies asked,
   "Where have all our flowers gone?"

3. Oh, Ed McCurdy he was there,
   But not the least obscene.
   Compared to all the songs he sings,
   This was exquisite clean.

4. Then Jan Ian she came in,
   Her behavior was quite mild,
   Although she is a grown-up now,
   She's still "Society's Child."

5. Professor Child he came in,
   But just to take a look,
   And every variation,
   He wrote down in his book.

6. Then next came Alan Lomax,
   With his microphone,
   He spent the night recording,
   Every squeal and moan.

7. And the Earl of Scruggs he was there,
   What do you think of that?
   He had a little breakdown,
   That left his Lester Flatt.

8. And Old Man Guthrie he was there,
   He made the lassies coo,
   "Oh, Woody, you are so long,
   It's been good to know you, too!"

9. Oh, Huddie Ledbetter he was there,
   He made the lassies squeal,
   For his belly 'twas said was made of lead,
   But his pride was tempered steel.

10. And Ewan MacColl he was there,
    Explaining to a lass,
    "I sing about the workin',
    And not the firkin' class."

11. And McGuinn the Byrdie joined the fun,
    He made the lassies yearn.
    They stood in queue and one by one,
    Each took her "Turn, Turn, Turn."

12. But little Arlo, I pray tell,
    He didn't do no firkin',
    'Cause he spent the night with A.O.L.,
    On the Internet a-lurkin'.

13. And old Josh White he went bare,
    A-prancin' through the hall,
    Asking all the lassies there
    To taste his "One Meatball."

13. The Carter Family drinking beer,
    They were on a spree,
    And every fifteen minutes,
    They stopped to take A.P.

14. The singer-songwriters we saw,
    Cavorting with their lovers,
    Were singin' 'til their throats were raw,
    But wouldn't do no covers.

15. Ed Cray had on a costume
    Inspired by the blues:
    He was dressed up as an old tomcat
    And gave erotic mews.

16. Said Berryman to Berryman,
    "What _are_ they doing, dear?"
    "Words fail me," answered Berryman:
    "I see some mothers here."

17. If you went into the backroom,
    You might see Oscar Brand
    Working on a ballad
    With whatever came to hand.

18. Oh, Joanie Baez she was there.
    Of non-violence she did speak,
    So when a laddie bumped her rump,
    She turned the other cheek.

19. Don Laycock joined the company:
    His face was rather red,
    For when they'd introduced him,
    There was no more to be said.

20. Tom Lehrer gave a lecture,
    That had everybody scared:
    He stood on the piano
    And shouted, "Be prepared!"

21. "I've madeira on my waistcoat,"
    Poor Flanders said to Swann.
    "It worked so well the first time!
    Well, let's be getting on."

22. Auld Robert smiled aboon the crew,
    And doun his voice cam ringing:
    "For a' that, there are some owre fou,
    But wha's owre fou for singing?"

23. Well, Louie Killen he was there,
    His back agin' the wa',
    He squeezed and squeezed and squeezed and squeezed,
    But it wouldna go in at a'.

24. And Ali Anderson he was there,
    But he knew what to do.
    His 'tina wouldna fit, so,
    He's usin' his chanter noo.

25. The Kingston Trio they came in.
    The night was very young,
    When each one dropped his pants to show,
    How Tom Dooley hung.

26. Jean Ritchie she spent the night
    A-ticklin' on her zither,
    And all the lads who watched her there
    Couldn't help but shake and shiver.

27. Paul and Mary they came in;
    In private he did meet her,
    They had a Puff of some magic stuff,
    And then brought out his Peter.

28. The traditional singer's wife
    Was sighin', "Dear, oh dear!
    He never performed a' his life
    Wi'out his finger in his ear."

29. No one was shocked when Cecil Sharp
    Winked at Lester Flatt:
    It scarcely seemed unnatural
    They they should have a chat.

30. Richard Dyer-Bennet
    Surprised everybody,
    For his stones were like a baritone's,
    But his voice a true castrati.

31. Bob Dylan kept his britches on,
    So one would never know
    If his hung "Forever Young"
    Or on "Desolation Row."

32. But when he finally took 'em off,
    How old Bobby grinned,
    For all the gas that he passed
    Was "Blowing in the Wind."

33. Sid and Henry they were there,
    A-makin' fast and free,
    Though they could not do that proper like,
    But only parody.

34. Now Gordon Bok he came on down
    From Nor'east on the go.
    When they asked him for his pleasure,
    He answered, "Isle au Haut!"

35. Stan Rogers he was quick and sure,
    And strong with what it takes,
    But he wouldna take the lassies at a',
    Not even "Between the Breaks."

36. Now k.d. lang she came and looked
    And said, "There's naught to fear
    From all these swinging blades afar
    If I can keep my Holly Near."

37. Lovely Hedy West was there,
    Observin' with dismay;
    After one quick peek she wished she were
    Five Hundred Miles away.

38. Dar Williams she stopped to give
    The older folkies hell,
    But when they all exposed themselves,
    Said, "My, you're aging well!"

39. Crystal Gale was at the ball,
    And her old lover, too.
    He sighed and said, "It's been a while
    Since I was 'Blue Bayou.'"

40. The Kingston Trio soon came in,
    And everyone was keen
    To know, amongst the three of them,
    Which one slept in between.

41. And Cecil Sharp was taking notes
    While watching all the fun.
    He's never tried himself, but he
    Knows all the ways it's done.

42. Stephen, Stephen, he was limply
    Trying harder than most
    To get us all to write a verse,
    But couldn't get a post.

By mutual agreement of the authors, this song is now and forever in the PUBLIC DOMAIN. No copyrights are claimed. Among those who contributed or polished up verses are: Joseph C. Fineman, Eric Berge, Sean Smith, Ada M. Prill, Donald Nichols, Abby Sale, Robert Derrick, Justan O. Thereditor, Leslie Evers, Barrie McCombs, and Stephen L. Suffet.

*

Note: The stanzas I supplied in 2008 are those that were current at St Andrews University (Scotland) in 1959.


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: michaelr
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 07:56 PM

Great stuff, Joe!


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: Lighter
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 08:25 PM

Joe, have you ever posted a list of all the bawdy songs you learned at St. Andrews?


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: Joe_F
Date: 17 Feb 11 - 05:07 PM

Lighter: No. I suppose I could compile such a thing from my files. Why?


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: GUEST,AR
Date: 17 Feb 11 - 06:26 PM

I've got a record called 'Lyrica Erotica: A wee thread o' blue' or something like that by Arthur Argo where he sings this with guitar accompaniment. That might be a good starting point, if you could find that LP, Biozo.


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: Lighter
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 12:45 PM

Joe, because it would be good to know exactly what they were singing...more than *half a century ago.*

It would be especially interesting because you learned the stuff several years before most of the "rugby-song" lyrics were first openly published - and thus standardized - in Harry Morgan's two volumes of Rugby Songs.

So, believe it or not, you're one of those valuable "traditional sources/ folk informants" we hear about but rarely ask the right questions of.


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 01:42 PM

The Presbyterian minister
Embraced old Father Frank
They became more . . . ecumenical
With every dram they drank


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: Joe_F
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 03:42 PM

Lighter: O.K., I'll have a look. %^)


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Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: The Ball of Kirriemuir
From: Joe_F
Date: 26 Feb 11 - 11:12 PM

Here are the songs of which I wrote down versions at St Andrews University in 1958-1959:

Angeline
The Ball of Kirriemuir
Cats on the Rooftops (alternative chorus)
The Good Ship Venus
In Mobile
The Lobster
Old King Cole
Ring the Bell, Verger
There Was a Monk of Great Renown
The Tinker
The Twelve Days of Christmas
The Wheel


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