Lyr Req: Please Mr. Conductor Don't Put Me Off ...

Subject: 'Please Mr. Conductor'
From: GaryD
Date: 06 Feb 00 - 08:33 PM

I'm looking for a song apparently sung by Helen Schneyer about a little boy who begs a conductor to let him stay on the train to visit an ailing mother.. the only thing I have is "Please Mr. Conductor...don't ???? (throw me off the train???) How about it? You guys have never failed me yet.. Take Care & Thanks.. Gary

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Please Mr. Conductor'
From: Stewie
Date: 06 Feb 00 - 09:09 PM

You will find the words and music to original 1898 version at the Levy site:

http://levysheetmusic.mse.jhu.edu/index.html

Search for 'Please Mr Conductor'. The Blue Sky Boys and other old-timey artists did recordings of this tear-jerker under the title of 'The Lightning Express'.

Cheers, Stewie.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Please Mr. Conductor'
From: jofield
Date: 06 Feb 00 - 11:37 PM

"The best friend I have in this world, sir, is waiting for me in pain (Pain, Nebraska)."

-- Jackie Washington

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Please Mr. Conductor'
From: GaryD
Date: 08 Feb 00 - 12:18 AM

Wow, Stewie!...That's some site... I've got it..now all I have to do is learn it.. "Keep on the Sunny Side!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Please Mr. Conductor'
From: Barbara
Date: 08 Feb 00 - 12:40 AM

Puh-leeze, Mr. Con-DUCT-or,
Don't put me off if this train,
The very best friend that a boy ever had
Is waiting for me, in pain
Expected to die any MO-ment
She may not last through the day
I've got to bid Mother goodbye, sir,
Before God takes her away.

See Levy for the verses, blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Please Mr. Conductor'
From: Joe Offer
Date: 08 Feb 00 - 01:04 AM

Of course, as Dick Greenhaus might say, a person COULD look in the Digital Tradition Folk Song Database.
But how does one spell "Mister"?
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Please Mr. Conductor'
From: Barbara
Date: 08 Feb 00 - 12:39 PM

Oh, DUH, Joe. Points to your side.
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: Lyr Add: PLEASE, MR. CONDUCTOR, DON'T PUT ME OFF..
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Jan 04 - 04:32 PM

A version of this song is in the DT, and other versions have been posted at several places in the forum, but they all differ in some details from the following, which should be definitive.

Transcribed from the sheet music images at The Lester S. Levy Collection of Sheet Music:

PLEASE, MR. CONDUCTOR, DON'T PUT ME OFF THE TRAIN
J. Fred Helf and E. P. Moran, 1898.

A lightning express from a depot so grand
Had just started on its way.
Most of the passengers who were on board
Seemed to be happy and gay.
A little boy sat in a seat by himself
Was reading a letter he had.
'Twas plain to be seen from the tears in his eyes
That the contents of it made him sad.

A stern old conductor then started to take
The ticket of everyone there,
Till finally reaching the side of the boy,
He gruffly demanded his fare.
"I haven't a ticket," the boy then replied,
"But I'll pay you back some day."
"I must put you off at the next station, then,"
But stopped when he heard the boy say:

CHORUS: "Please, Mister Conductor,
Don't put me off the train.
The best friend I have in the world, sir,
Is waiting for me in pain.
She's expected to die any moment
And may not live through the day.
I want to bid mother goodbye, sir,
Before God takes her away.

"As mother was ailing before I left home,
And needed a doctor's care,
I came to the city employment to seek
But could not find any work there.
"This morning a letter from sister arrived,
'Come home. Mother's dying,' did say,
And that is the reason I'm anxious to ride
Though I haven't the money to pay."

A little girl sitting close by then exclaimed,
"If you put that boy off, it's a shame."
Then taking his hat, a collection she made,
And soon paid the fare on the train.
"I'm obliged to you, miss, for your kindness to me."
"You're welcome," said she. "Never fear."
Each time the conductor would pass through the car,
The boy's words would ring in his ear: CHORUS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Please Mr. Conductor Don't Put Me Off ...
From: GUEST,Seth Holmes
Date: 22 May 16 - 03:04 PM

There are a lot of different versions of the song. I learned it from my father (who was close friends with Helen Schneyer) and he used a couple of different versions. But this is how I remember it.

The Lightning Express, from the depot so grand, had just started out on its way
All of the passengers that were onboard, seemed to be happy and gay.
But one little boy, who sat by himself, reading a letter he had.
It was plain to see from the look in his eyes, the words he read made him sad.
(Alternative: You could plainly see by the look in his eyes, the contents of it made him sad.)

The stern old conductor, had started his run, taking tickets from everyone there.
Finally he reached the side of the boy, he gruffly demanded his fare.
"I have no ticket," said the boy, "but I'll pay you back one day."
"Then I'll put you off at the next stop we make." But he stopped, when he heard the boy say.

Chorus:
Please, Mr Conductor, don't put me off of this train.
The best friend I have in this world, sir, is waiting for me, in pain.
Expecting to die any moment, and may not live through the day.
I've got to reach home and kiss mother goodbye, before God takes her away.

A girl sitting near, said to the man, "if you put him off, it's a shame."
So taking his hat a collection she made, the boy's way was paid on the train.
"I'm obliged to you miss, for your kidness to me." "It's nothing," she said, "never fear."
But each time the conductor would pass through the car, the boy's words would ring in his ear.

(Chorus)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Please Mr. Conductor Don't Put Me Off ...
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 22 May 16 - 06:36 PM

I have always known this as "The Lightning Express" . I learned it from The Everly Brothers album " Songs Our Daddy Taught Us". A great album! I did not know there were so many versions of it. thanks for reviving this thread.