Song Challenge! Part 10

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! Part 10
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 02:02 PM

Spam

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Gareth
Date: 28 Aug 01 - 03:53 PM

Well I don't know about a complete song, but well try a verse or two of Crawshaw Bailey, with an amended chorus.

In best South Welsh Dialect of course.

"Now a man called Peter Wright,
With the Law he had a fight,
The jail house he did merit,
For possession of a Ferret.

Have you ever saw, etc.

Have you ever saw,
Have you ever saw.
Such a funny thing,
As Californian Law.

Now in bad old years ago.
To Australia you will go,
For a Ferret's basic habits,
Is hunting of the rabbits

Have you ever saw, etc.

For the rich mans game reserve,
From the Poachers he'll preserve,
In Tasmania you will,
For the poaching of the Game.

Have you ever saw, etc.

But in California's sunny climes.,
In this year of modern times,
For a felon you will make.
If a ferret you do take.

Have you ever saw, etc.

I wonder, I really do wonder.

Gareth

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: SharonA
Date: 28 Aug 01 - 09:21 AM

Nicely done, dmc! ...but why not substitute "Pat Wright" (the ferret-felon's name) for "Sam Hall" in your parody? Okay, you WOULD then have to delete "all" and "downfall" and substitute words that rhyme with Wright, but fortunately it's an easily rhymable name. Maybe it could be:
"Oh me name it is Pat Wright and I hate you, well I might
As you prisoned me tonight, you will weep, you will weep."
...or something along those lines? Just a thought!

SharonA

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 28 Aug 01 - 05:24 AM

A parody of Sam Hall.

Oh me name it is Sam Hall, weasel-keep, weasel-keep
Oh me name it is Sam Hall, weasel-keep
Oh me name it is Sam Hall, and I hate you one and all
As you plotted my downfall, you will weep, you will weep
As you plotted my downfall, you will weep

I'm the owner of a pet, long and thin, long and thin
I'm the owner of a pet, long and thin
I'm the owner of a pet, that is deemed to be a threat
And they're calling for the vet, do him in, do him in
And they're calling for the vet, do him in

I can hear the sirens wail, state police, state police
I can hear the sirens wail, state police
I can hear the sirens wail, I can see the nightsticks flail
And they cart me off to jail, like a thief, like a thief
And they cart me off to jail, like a thief

Said the judge the case is clear, make him pay, make him pay
Said the judge the case is clear, make him pay
Said the judge the case is clear, and the sentence is severe
We don't want no ferrets here in LA, in LA
We don't want no ferrets here in LA

Oh me name it is Sam Hall, weasel-keep, weasel-keep
Oh me name it is Sam Hall, weasel-keep
Oh me name it is Sam Hall, and I hate you one and all
As you plotted my downfall, you will weep, you will weep
As you plotted my downfall, you will weep

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 21 Aug 01 - 11:42 AM

Ferret Prison Blues

Some times this institution; will drive you round the bend
Don't think this persecution is ever gonna end
Busted for possesion but it wasn't drugs
When I think of my confession, it makes my shoulders shrug

When we were in the pet store, my wife she told me. "Pat,
Don't you get a ferret, you can always get a cat."
But I bought 'em out in Reno, because I knew I could
And my neighbour blew the whistle, Just like I thought he would

I bet there's ferret owners, folks with lots of class
Drinking cups a coffee filtered through a civet's ass
I knew I took my knife out, tried to defend my rights.
The cops would try to jail me, because they don't like fights

When they free from this prison, when they let me out of hooch
I think I'll go and get me a friendly little pooch
And when I take my prozac, I'll take the drug store kind
Too many folks that know me, think that I've lost my mind

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 14 Apr 00 - 09:42 AM

Dear Hyp,

Your song was worth waiting for! It has been added to the rolls of the Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Cleigh's Blue Fume Shield. Congratulations!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Hyperabid
Date: 14 Apr 00 - 07:18 AM

A small note on language...Bird is also a slang tem in the UK for a prison sentence... which can also be known as porridge...

Hyp

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Hyperabid
Date: 14 Apr 00 - 07:08 AM

A late addition for the sake of completeness…

Hard Time Blues

Tune: Pick a blues – any blues

I'm doing hard time
I'm doing a bird
All because I got a rodent
Man this is absurd

I'm doing hard time
I'm cut to the core
I don't like the looks I get
From the prisoner bunked next door

I'm doing hard time
Let me out please
Cos the man in the cell next door
Has asked for a striptease

I'm doing hard time
Protecting myself well
I keep those ferrets in my pants
Cos I know their bite hurts like hell

Yee-Hah!

Hyp

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 12:36 PM

And we have yet another winner of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon!! It was worth waiting for, Troll. Well done!

-- Áine

Now go on to Song Challenge! Part 11 -- it's a doozy!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 12:28 PM

Way to go, Trollman! LOL! You can borrow my sushi knife anytime :>)

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Troll
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 12:11 PM

At Last! To the tune of Lizzie Borden.

The Ballad of Ferretman

In the state of California, Otay Mesa was teh site,

With his four cute furry ferrets, lived a man named Patrick Wright.

And he bought food for his ferrets at the local pet food store,

But alas poor Patrick doesn't have his ferrets any more.

Cause you can't own a ferret out in California,

Not even as a present from tour maw,

No you can't own a ferret out in California

Sacramento says they are against the law.

Now as Pat was fixing lunch one day there came a thun'drus knock

T'wasn't just A timid tapping. You could hear it round the block

With his trusty sushi knife in hand he opened up the door,

Next thing he knew the cops had him spread-eagled on the floor.

Cause you can't owen a ferret out in California

Not vevn if you think they're very nice.

No you can't own a ferret out in California.

Ferret owning is an evil nasty vice.

So they took him to the court house and the judge he heard the tale

They took fingerprints and mug shots and they let him out on bail.

When his case came up for trial,it relieved his darkest fears,

He got sixteen days in prison. Hell,he could have got ten years!

Cause you can't own a ferret out in California,

Not even if you think that they are great.

No you can't own a ferret out in California

You'll have to go live in some other state.

Now he's sitting in the pokey and he's counting out the days

And he's really learned his lesson. Now he knows crime never pays.

And the other inmates found he'd broke the Anti-ferret rule

Now they call him Ferretman and everybody thinks he's cool

Cause You can't own a ferret out in California

They'll catch you and they'll put you in the jail.

No you can't own a ferret out in California

You'll heve to get your mom to go your bail.

If you live in California and you want to keep a pet

Then a ferret is the animal you hadn't oughter get

Theres alot of things that you can have with feather,fur or fin.

But don't try to own a ferret cause someone will tunr you in.

Cause you can't own a ferret out in California,

Although you can own a tiger or a bear.

No you can't own a ferret out in California,

They sure have got some crazy laws out there.

troll '

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 09:16 AM

Well, now that the MudCat has become family entertainment I am obviously going to have to subdue my natural proclivities and return to the strait and narrow path...no more nasties...until next time...*BG*

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 09:12 AM

Well, since I've already started the next CHALLENGE!, I'll go ahead and post the awards for Part 10:

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon:

I Fought For Ferrets by Lonesome EJ
Patrick Wright's Ferret by McGrath of Harlow
Patty Wright's Crazy Life by Barky
The True Story Of Patrick Wright's Wrong-Doing by Amos

Troll -- please go ahead and give us your submission, and then go on to SONG CHALLENGE! Part 11 for the "Easter Bonnet(?) Special" Challenge!

Well done, everyone! And nary a 'nasty' in the bunch (well, we still haven't seen Troll's yet, have we??). Spring has sprung, so pet yer ferret and throw yer -- WHOOPS! That's the next CHALLENGE!, ain't it?

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 08:51 AM

Oh no, here we go again!

The morning that Amos got busted, . . .

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Barky
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 08:44 AM

EEEEEW!!!!!! DADDY!!!!!!!!! (*BG*) ;0)~

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 01:01 AM

Criminy crips, Sandy! Old Barlow finally flipped the final tipper...Easter Boner Special! Why, here I thought we were trying to elevate things around here. Of course, now, Easter Boners...maybe things arelooking up, even if only one eye at a time...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 12:20 AM

Geez loueez! Talk about thread creep! Come on guys, I keep checking this thread when it comes up thinking that Troll has finally graced us with his entry in the Challenge . . . take it to the personal messages, OK?

And Troll, if you're still out there -- I have a very special challenge that I've been saving for Mardi Gras, so PLEASE give us your song so we can go on to SONG CHALLENGE! Part 11 -- The Easter Bonnet(!) Special.

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Mbo
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 11:48 PM

Well, there's a first time for everything, I guess!


Hail, Barky, Goddess of the Trumpet!
Put thy sweet lips to thine embouchure
And blow forth a zephyr, a summons
To bring the bright dawn upon us once again!
Call upon all thine eternal powers
To bring the world the good graces that thou impart
Bestow unto us a flourish that will make the darkness,
That at times threatens to mar the fabric of our existence,
Depart forthwith, and never be seen by human eyes ere the world's demise!
Radiant Barky, we look unto thee and thy Divine Instrument
To make our lives worth living
Breathe, breathe now thy gentle breath as to stir the world from it's slumbers
Do us this favor, Favored Goddess, for we pledge our lives to thee!


--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Mbo
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 07:22 PM

Old childhood WHATs? Paeans? Gosh, I haven't even written one!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 07:19 PM

She has a couple of old childhood ones, but I'm not posting them without explicit permissison...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Mbo
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 07:04 PM

I wonder if they have any old used ones? Corblimey--I haven't even ridden a regular bike in 7 years! Too right you're the Trumpet Goddess...now who's gonna write a paean to you?

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Barky
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 06:54 PM

That's right! I AM the Trumpet Goddess, aren't I?!! *BG* Now, you don't have to buy one at first. First, just go out and rent one for a couple days. Once you figure out that you like it, go to leasing it. You know the rest.

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Mbo
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 06:44 PM

Got the tune done last night--all I have to do now is make a recording.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Mbo
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 06:39 PM

Well, if Barky the Trumpet Goddess deems it so, it must be true! Now where can I get the bucks to buy me one!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 11:35 AM

We are all driven souls; it is just that some people handle it more graciously than others. This may be part of the definition of what itmeans to be human on Earth.

I submit for reflection that the creation of music and other beauty is the sublimation into creativity of a very powerful, deep, barely bottled internal spiritual scream -- the scream for truth, and freedom.

If one of someday could write the new and perfect song, the song never sung, the Missing Song, we would all sigh in unison and be transmogrified into essence or some damn thing like that.

But we all, meanwhile, do pursue the creation of what beauty we can, and in doing so have named ourselves.

It beats sitting around watching South Park, or taking out your passions in self-flagellation, apathetic inaction, or blind destructiveness, whether obvious or secretive. Bless music and all who partake thereof.

'Nuff said...as Spaw once said, "this is getting out of hand..." although he never did say which hand he was using at the time.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 08:50 AM

Dear Troll,

I so glad that you're back on your feet and making music. No problem, we'll wait for you until you're back. What a Mudcatter!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Troll
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 01:58 AM

AINE. I just got back from a wedding and I'm whupped.I have a ferret song written, but at the speed I type it'll take a half an hour minimum and I'm not sure I can stay awake that long so I'll post it tomorrow.Late pm probably. the band has a gig in the afternoon and then I have to break down the sound system.So late pm. But I have written it and I will post it.

troll

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 12:33 AM

See -- I tell ya and you don't believe me!!!

Gotta drum up that there zest for action which is the trademark of your gender Sir Bo...Harleys! Why just last month a let a Harley wrap itself around a tree in a detah defying leap into a limousine window as a gesture of devotion to a certain Goddess, and the result was worth all the risk and more -- I got me a 1947 Indian!! If you're worried about control, start out on a moped, graduate to a little Vespa, then a 250 cc Honda and you'll be flying with the Angels in no time! And all the skirt ya could use!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Barky
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 12:29 AM

Ah, it's a swell song. ;)
Oh, and Mbo? I think you'd look great on a Harley. *BG*

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Mbo
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 11:15 PM

I'll try Amos! And the thing about the Harley--I don't think so! I'd probably look like a total goofus on one!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Mbo
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 11:10 PM

I don't think so Hagbard! I once got up to 70 passing someone once...I'm not a speeder. I go at a comfortable speed. I don't feel in control of the car at high speeds.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 11:06 PM

Mbo,

I'm engaged en famille for the evening so if you can drum up a better tune for it it would be interesting for you to record it and get an .aiff played on the 'Cat radio Weds next.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Hagbardr
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 11:05 PM

Mbo, try I-85, it's a beautiful road.... very little traffic, no potholes, and NO COPS!!!!! I got up to 105 in my Honda Civic before I decided to lay off the gas a bit.

Hagbard

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 11:03 PM

Go for it, Tunemeister!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Mbo
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 11:00 PM

Well, I GUESS we could use the real tune for "The Night Larry Was Stretched" BUT I could try to come up with something new!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:52 PM

Bhuel, sin é! Well, that's it! A wonderful song for a wonderful 'Catter! We didn't do too shabby by ya, did we kid? So, when do we get to hear the output of our input? If this isn't Mudcat Radio material, I don't know what is! Well done, everyone . . . we're poets even if we don't know it . . .

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:48 PM

LOL!!!

But what bothered young Barky the most
And what has most surely depressed her
Was that she herself passed out the post
That willy or nilly confessed her!

(spoken) But she'd do it again fer the Cat!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:41 PM

Ok, Mbo, I've put your latest verse in as the next-to-last. Here's what we've got so far:

The Night That Young Barky Got Busted by Amos, Áine and Mbo
(Tune: The Night that Old Larry Got Stretched)

The night that young Barky got busted
She was meant to be fixin' computers
And her folks thought she could be trusted
But she's run off on an internet tooter.

(Spoken) But her Pa found out!

The night that young Barky got caught
She was driving the freeway at night
Was she doing what Dad thought she ought?
To squeeze by Mom it would be too tight

The night that young Barky got flagged,
As lines on the road flashed by,
A young poet in her memory tagged,
She was thinking what lines she would try.

The night that young Barky she passed
A slowpoke who went 44
At 75 she blew past
She knows what a turn signal's for!

And her driving recalled as she sat,
When she came on like a bat out of hell,
That's the same way she 'ppeared on the 'Cat,
And boy! She's remarkably swell!

The night that young Barky got grounded,
It shoulda been bad – Oh mais non!
Her laptop – working on how it sounded,
She came up with a beautiful song!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Mbo
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:33 PM

And her driving recalled as she sat
When she came on like a bat out of hell
That's the same way she 'ppeared on the 'Cat
And boy! she's remarkably swell!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Barky
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:32 PM

Of course it is... um... yeah... er.... Of course! *ahem*

*BG*

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:19 PM

Here ya go, the sixth and final verse (?):

The night that young Barky got grounded,
It shoulda been bad - Oh mais non!
Her laptop - working on how it sounded,
She came up with a beautiful song!

OK, Daddy Amos, let's hear your melodious pipes on this one! And Barky, remember it's just a "fictional" account of the evening, OK?

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:11 PM

Awright, Mbo!! We're cooking with gas now, cher!

Verse 5 and I'm still on a jive:

The night that young Barky got stopped,
She had most of the words in her head,
When out her mouth they suddenly popped,
Shoulda been Mudcat -- it's her room instead!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Mbo
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:10 PM

Wanna know a secret Barky? I've never gone that fast in my life! 65's pretty much the legal limit around the backroads of North Carolina!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Barky
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:03 PM

No no no, Mbo! You've got your facts all wrong! It was 80, not 75. C'mon... ya think I'd actually be as stupid as to go 75???!!!

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Mbo
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:00 PM

The night that young Barky she passed
A slowpoke who went 44
At 75 she blew past
She knows what a turn signal's for!

Wheee...homonyms!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 09:59 PM

Darlin' Barky,

Don't get a swelled head, me dearie -- We'll use anything as an excuse to get silly!! (I do mean anything!).

*BG* -- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Barky
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 09:56 PM

Oh dear! All this commotion over the fact that I'm driving on the freeway! (Actually, I kinda like it, but that's a whole nuther matter) *g* =)

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 09:39 PM

Here ya go, Daddy A., the third verse:

The night that young Barky got flagged,
As lines on the road flashed by,
A young poet in her memory tagged,
She was thinking what lines she would try.

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 09:26 PM

Bravo to ye both you hyper-creative wastrels! Such flair, such talent, such imagination! Now, if you really have nothing like productive work to do, I can provide you with some! Sheeshe!

You guys are such a dear riot. I loves ya!

MBo, go borrow a Harley and take it out on an open field or road and crank it out. You deserve a touch of solid testosterone in your life after all the effort you've been exerting lately!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 10
From: Áine
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 09:21 PM

Try it again, dearest Mbo, you've got a extra line or two in there methinks!

-- Áine