Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls in My Martini

Subject: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: Wavestar
Date: 09 Mar 00 - 06:53 PM

Hey all-

Got another request for your overtaxed brains... I heard this once, at the Champlain Valley Festival, done by Robert J. Lurtsema (I'm sure you all remember Morning Pro Musica, on NPR... birds and all...) Anyway, no one in the tent stopped laughing for ages, including him, and he was laughing so much he could barely sing... I just want the words, because I can only really remember the one line!

It's a barroom type song about a man complaining, because "Your monkey's got his balls in my Martini!"

The funniest part was that everything at the festival is translated into sign language... and the interpreter could hardly stand up he was laughing so hard.. and he was also bright pink. The song in ASL, needless to say, was.... amusing.

So, can any of you help me?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Mar 00 - 06:57 PM

Wavestar--

It is possible that you are beyond... no never mind, I forgot where I am. It'll probably be done on HearMe before a week is out.

Now, if you could track down Lurtsima and get himn to join Mudcat (if he isn't already here under some duller name), THAT would be fun....

My overtaxed brain is ready for its refund please. Oh, and can I get that electronically?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: Sorcha
Date: 09 Mar 00 - 07:19 PM

What goes around comes around, are we back to brass balls already?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Mar 00 - 07:22 PM

...further to the subject of this thread...wish I could say the same about MBO's, but I believe Lafkat swallowed them...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: Wavestar
Date: 09 Mar 00 - 07:39 PM

*feels like she missed the joke...* My connection isn't good enough to keep up with a lot of the Hearme and other realtime sessions...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: Sorcha
Date: 09 Mar 00 - 07:49 PM

There was a thread about brass balls, I'll see if I can find it.Was FUNNY!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: Sorcha
Date: 09 Mar 00 - 08:07 PM

This started out as Cold, and ended up as other, in the great Cat tradition.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: Fortunato
Date: 10 Mar 00 - 11:03 AM

If someone doesn't cough up the lyrics to this gem shortly, I will be forced to write them myself. You've been warned.

Fortunato

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: TerriM
Date: 10 Mar 00 - 03:27 PM

Please, somebody's got to have this! I will personally auction my first born child ( 18, female, pretty.... only thing is she's a drummer), my non-existant virtue or my demented cats if someone finds this lyric, I haven't heard such a promising title for years.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: GUEST,Dan D
Date: 10 Mar 00 - 03:45 PM

Are you sure this doesn't fall in the :"No, but if you hum a few bars" category?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: Wavestar
Date: 10 Mar 00 - 05:49 PM

Quite sure, Guest. It went on for quite a while. Oh please, someone... I have promised to sing it for people! -J

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: Dan Evergreen
Date: 10 Mar 00 - 06:59 PM

No, but I know the origin. There was a joke going around in the 60s. A customer went into a piano bar and sat down to have a beer and listen to the pianist perform. The pianist had a pet monkey at his side. Folks were requesting this song and that song. The customer was concentrating on the music until he reached for his beer and saw the pianist's monkey sitting on the mug, with the monkey's balls hanging down in the customer's beer. Not knowing how to react, the customer quietly walked up to the piano and at an opportune time said, "Pardon me, do you know your monkey's got his balls in my beer?" No, replied the pianist, but if you'll hum a couple of bars, I might can pick it up." Hahahahahahahahahahaha...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: Wavestar
Date: 13 Mar 00 - 06:29 AM

I'm bringing this back in one last attempt to find someone else who as actually heard the song, not just the joke... please don't let my faith in you be unjustified! The song runs along the lines of the joke, but really does exist... I remember it. Any takers?

-J

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 00 - 01:31 PM

The long version of the joke is here but I haven't found the song anywhere...

Subject: Lyr Add: YOUR MONKEY'S GOT HIS BALLS IN MY MARTINI
From: GUEST,Wavestar
Date: 02 Apr 00 - 09:47 PM

Well, I finally found those lyrics I was looking for, so any of you who thought the song sounded amusing, here it is:

YOUR MONKEY'S GOT HIS BALLS....


Your monkey's got his balls in my martini
He's sitting there just like a missing link
He's got his ruddy ass
Planted firmly in my glass
Makes it quite impossible to drink

Your monkey's got his balls in my martini
You'd have thought a glass as thin as 'tis would burst
He's just sitting there
Nonchalant and debonair
And there's no way for me to quench my bleedin' thirst

Your monkey's got his balls in my martini
See me lemon rind is twined about his tail
But I've got good cause to grieve
'Cause if he won't get up and leave
God forbid I'd have to switch to beer or ale

Your monkey's got his balls in my martini
He's sitting there just like a bishop on his throne
And I'll swear or I'll be blest
He'll calcify his testes
He will pickle them until they turn to stone

Your monkey's got his balls in my martini
How I hate to see a good drink go to waste
It's been an hour more or less
And I really must confess
I'm concerned that it might modify the taste

Your monkey's got his balls in my martini
He'll have to leave sometime but who knows when
Perhaps when Nature calls
He'll remove his ruddy balls
And I can start my serious drinking, (yes that's what I've been thinking,)
I can start my serious drinking after all.


Enjoy.. I do.

-Jessica

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...!
From: GUEST,Wavestar
Date: 02 Apr 00 - 09:48 PM

Bog. The lines never do what I expect them to. Oh well, I'm sure you can all figure them out. -J

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...!
From: TerriM
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 03:50 PM

with grateful thanks, Jessica, what a wonderful song!What is the tune?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...!
From: GUEST,Wavestar
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 11:10 PM

Erm... I know it, but don't know if it's called anything else, and since it's only in my head, have no way to note it down... I'll get back to you on that one? I'm sorry, please forgive my incompetence.

-J

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 07:37 AM

Interesting alternative to olives I think - remind me never to come to your house for cocktails......

LTS

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Your Monkey's Got His Balls...!
From: Bert
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 10:55 AM

Nice one, LTS, Now I can't think of the song without imagining toothpicks in 'em;-)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls in My Martini
From: GUEST,Lin
Date: 24 Apr 12 - 09:38 AM

The tune is the Oscar Meyer Wieners song.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls in My Martini
From: topical tom
Date: 24 Apr 12 - 11:34 AM

I never did hear the song but my wife did. I think that the workshop at Champlain was called funny songs so my wife took our very young granddaughter with her to the workshop. Imagine her surprise and embarrassment upon hearing the song and our granddaughter started to laugh heartily at it. Afterward she quoted the title for days! She really got a kick out of that song despite it being somewhat inappropriate! Memories are made of the quirky things in life! To this day our granddaughter (now 22!) still laughs at the mention of the "naughty" song!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls in My Martini
From: GUEST,mainedog
Date: 16 May 17 - 05:45 PM

When RJL departed, I sent to WGBH a recapitulation of this scene (which I saw...The funniest part was that RJL didn't know about the signer's distress..The audience screamed and howled...He tried it again the next night and it flopped, because the signer had had time... RJL didn't get it why it flopped this time...) WGBH ignored all this...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Your Monkey's Got His Balls in My Martini
From: EBarnacle
Date: 17 May 17 - 12:27 PM

I believe I have heard this song or a variant to the tune of a Sousa march.
Could it be related to "Oh, the monkey wrapped his tail around the flagpole?