Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl

Subject: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: GUEST,SWT
Date: 26 Mar 00 - 09:10 PM

Does anyone have the lyrics to an old bluegrass song called "Always Marry an Ugly Girl"? If so, please email me at [e-mail].

The chorus goes:

"Always marry an ugly girl That's the only kind, She'll never ever leave you, But if she does, you won't mind..."

There are four or five verses, but it's been years since I heard it and I've forgotten all but one.

Not PC, but funny.

SWT

Subject: RE: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Callie
Date: 26 Mar 00 - 09:23 PM

No relation to the song "If you want to be happy living a king's life/never make a pretty woman your wife ..."?

Subject: RE: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 26 Mar 00 - 10:37 PM

G'day SWT and Callie,

Maybe Callie's offering is an antipodean version (appropriately reversing SWT's lines to the same final effect). Actually I remember much of what Callie writes as being from the Calypso fad period (circa 1963) and the song started with:

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife.
So, from a personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

I don't think I have sung that since it earned me a clip about the ears from my 1963 girlfriend!

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 29 Mar 00 - 11:18 PM

G'day ... I thought I was going mad(der) - there should be some way of concatenating duplicate threads ... (Max?).

Regard(les)s,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Willie-O
Date: 30 Mar 00 - 09:17 AM

Hearing about this song makes me think of a bluegrass "concert" held in the cafetorium at Sandford Fleming College in Lindsay Ont when I studied forestry there in the early 80's. The band was probably pretty good, but the acoustics as awful as you might suspect, and the so-called sound man was a guy who owned a really fancy 16-channel board and had NO CLUE what to do with it. His sole concern seemed to be keeping the levels low enough that the gauges never touched the red--which made the entire show virtually inaudible.

It's funny that I do remember that song. Lamentably catchy and one of the dumbest lyrics ever heard this side of "Teddy Bear".

Ugh.

W-O

Subject: RE: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Charcloth
Date: 30 Mar 00 - 05:09 PM

Ther was an earlier thread on this< I know cause I asked the same Question only I know it by " You've got to marry an ugly gal " try putting "Ugly Gal"in the forum search some of it is still there. I think Jewel Mountain recorded it I believe they were from Dayton Ohio

Subject: RE: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Novalis
Date: 30 Mar 00 - 06:31 PM

Assume that this does not include the wonderful Harry Belafonte "Marry a Woman Uglier than You" calypso number?

Subject: RE: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Robo
Date: 30 Mar 00 - 11:29 PM

A pretty woman makes a husband looks small

And very often causes his downfall,

But if you make a ugly woman your wife,

You'll be happy for the rest of your life!

(chorus as above)

Spoken: "Hey, I saw your woman the other day . . . yeha, and she's uggg-ly (laughter)!"

---There's another verse that I can't recall. Reply: "Yeah, but she sure can cook! (more laughter!)"

Subject: RE: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From:
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 08:01 AM

hi,
i'm searching the lyrics of harry balafonte songälways marry an ugly girl"-i love this song!!!
is there any possibility to sent me that one????
thank you in advance!
karol ryba

Subject: Lyr Add: ALWAYS MARRY AN UGLY GIRL
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 08:15 AM

^^
UGLY GIRL

Always marry an ugly girl 'cause thats the only kind.
She'll never ever leave you and if she does you won't mind.

My daddy married an ugly girl and thought that she'd be true,
Then came along the milkman and I am living proof.

So always marry an ugly girl 'cause thats the only kind.
She'll never ever leave you and if she does you won't mind.

My brother married an ugly girl he thought he had it made,
Every time she got undressed the neighbors pulled the shades.

So always marry an ugly girl 'cause thats the only kind.
She'll never ever leave you and if she does you won't mind.

My uncle married an ugly girl the family got uptight,
They had a formal wedding so they paint the shotgun white.

So always marry an ugly girl 'cause thats the only kind.
She'll never ever leave you and if she does you won't mind.

My sister married an ugly girl the family was surprised,
They found out on that wedding night that girl was an ugly guy.

So always marry an ugly girl 'cause thats the only kind.
She'll never ever leave you and if she does you won't mind.

Found at This site But unattributed!

Nigel

Subject: RE: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Abby Sale
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 10:44 AM

Maybe the theme comes up very often. Two songs spring to mind immediately:

I believe there's a verse in "Working on the New Railroad" and
in the Scots/Northumbrian

from "I Maun Hae a Wife"
If that she be bonnie, I shall think her right,
If that she be ugly, where's the odds at night?

Subject: RE: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Sam L
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 10:52 AM

I can't help, but I've heard the current view of the theme among 20-somethings as "Always get with the stealth-babe", i.e., the unadorned real beauty that dumb guys don't notice.

Subject: RE: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: GUEST,Louie Roy
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 11:51 AM

This song was originally written about 1840 under the name (Old Man Old Man can I have your daughter) and we had it in an old song book in the early 1930s and i can only remember a couple of verses.i can't find it anywhere in the forum but one of you mudcatters should be able to come up with all the words to the original tune.Louie Roy

Subject: RE: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 01:01 PM

Reminded me of a song-Ugly and Slouchy;

Ugly and slouchy, that's the way I like them
You never have no fear of them lovin' someone else.

Subject: RE: Always marry an ugly girl
From: Maryrrf
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 07:39 PM

I think I may have this song on an album I picked up in Trinidad - the real version and not the Harry Belafonte or the rock version. I've been meaning to transcribe it and will try to dig it out. It's really funny - starts out "If you want to be happy and live a king's life, never make a pretty woman your wife".

Subject: ADD: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Joe Offer
Date: 04 Mar 03 - 12:48 AM

This version comes from a mysterious source, whose identify I am sworn not to reveal. I think maybe his wife wouldn't like it...
-Joe Offer, who married a beautiful woman-

---

^^
Always Marry An Ugly Girl

Always marry an ugly girl, that's the only kind
She'll never ever leave you, but if she does you won't mind
My brother married an ugly girl, the family got uptight
They had a formal wedding, they painted the shotgun white

Always marry an ugly girl, that's the only kind
She'll never ever leave you, but if she does you won't mind
My cousin married an ugly girl, really had it made
Every night when she undressed, the neighbors pulled the shade

Always marry an ugly girl, that's the only kind
She'll never ever leave you, but if she does you won't mind
Uncle married an ugly girl, she drank from a special cup
She had a great big upper lip, but the lower lip covered it up

Always marry an ugly girl, that's the only kind
She'll never ever leave you, but if she does you won't mind
You make love with an ugly girl, she never wants to quit
Cause she thinks that it's the last that she'll ever get

Always marry an ugly girl, that's the only kind
She'll never ever leave you, but if she does you won't mind

---

Several sources indicate that there's a recording of "Always Marry an Ugly Girl" by Al Batten and the Bluegrass Reunion, but I was unable to find a name of a songwriter for this song. Is it traditional?
-Joe-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 02:27 PM

My father married and ugly girl and they had 10 kids,
5 were girls and 5 were boys, and not one of them was his!

When you make love to an ugly girl, she'll never let you quit,
Because she's scared it is the last she's ever gonna get!

My brother married an ugly girl, she had warts on her toes,
But all those warts weren't half as big as the one that's on her nose!


(Hope some of these lines help...)

---

Please note that anonymous posting is no longer allowed at Mudcat. Use a consistent name [in the 'from' box] when you post, or your messages risk being deleted.
Thanks.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Genie
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 12:44 AM

I've always wanted to redo that calypso song from the woman's point of view. Pretty easy juxtaposition of lyrics:

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life,
Never be a pretty gentleman's wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly man to marry you.

; D

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: GUEST,Wyn Wachhorst
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 12:57 AM

Stan Wilson sang the "never make a pretty woman your wife" version on his first LP (Fantasy records).

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 09:06 PM

I have a recording from a group in Ohio fromback n=in the eighties that have the lyrics as: Always marry an ugly girl, that's the only kind, she'll never ever leave you but if she does you wont mind. This is the chorus.

Then it goes on day an ugly girl was born her pap took it on the chin, he held her up , turned her around and said MY LORD WE GOT TWINS.

mY QUESTION IS IS THIS SONG PUBLIC DOMAIN?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 31 Aug 09 - 02:33 PM

The catalog of the US Copyright Office says:

ALWAYS MARRY AN UGLY GIRL was performed by Humphammer and The Maggie Valley Ramblers on their album "I Like the Bluegrass Sound" (Pigeon Forge, Tenn.: Dash-Dot Productions, 1983)—an 8-track cartridge, apparently.

Furthermore, it says "New Matter [by Rudy Barrett]: words and music of 4 selections; music for 1 selection. ... Preexisting material: 7 selections."

[So apparently we have no way of knowing, from the catalog, whether Barrett wrote this particular song. Maybe the album itself would tell you.]

*

WorldCat indicates that ALWAYS MARRY AN UGLY GIRL was performed by The Leatherwoods on their album "Tenth Jam" (Mountain View, AR: Thunder Ridge Castle Duplicating, Inc., [2007?]).

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: GUEST,TJ
Date: 24 Mar 10 - 08:07 PM

My cousin married an ugly girl, she drank from a special cup
She had a great big upper lip, but her bottom one covered it up

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: NormanD
Date: 25 Mar 10 - 08:01 AM

The version quoted above is "If You Wanna Be Happy", by Jimmy Soul, a pop hit in the early 1960s. Sounds like it was produced by Frank Guida, the guy who hit with Gary US Bonds.

It's on YouTube here

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Aug 10 - 10:58 PM

i use to listen tot his song ever morning int he car with my Papa and we'd sing to my Grandma wow . haha good times, good times (:

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 11:05 AM

I have four or five versions of this song, from Jimmy Soul's rocknroll
version and the others calypso treatments, one of which is an answer song extolling the virtues of marrying an ugly girl, or marrying a pretty girl.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Always Marry an Ugly Girl
From: GUEST,carlnut
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 10:46 PM

My uncle married an ugly girl, he took her to the beach and then,
When the ocean saw her standing there, the tide would not come in.

Last night I dated an ugly girl, she had one big brown eye.
The other one was small and blue with a big red ugly sty.