Songs about breaking bad news.

Subject: Lyr Add: Bitter Words^^
From: The Shambles
Date: 22 Jun 00 - 01:13 PM

This is a song about that wonderful moment just before the sky falls on top of you.

Bitter Words

Bitter words, sung sweetly
The whole truth, but not completely
Bitter words…. Sung sweetly by you
My world, broken in a minute
My life and all that's in it
My world…. Is broken in two
Bitter words, sung sweetly by you

I looked up to see the sun, instead I saw the moon
Somehow the words don't fit the tune?
When I first heard it, no wonder I got it wrong
I knew the singer but not the song
Well you sang so sweet, that music to my ear
It's just those words I don't want to hear
Your timing was OK and the place was fine
But, there's no right place and no right time

Bitter words, sung sweetly
The whole truth, but not completely
Bitter words…. Sung sweetly by you
My world, broken in a minute
My life and all that's in it
My world…. Is broken in two
Bitter words, sung sweetly by you

It don't matter how you disguise it, when you aim that low
It still feels like a hammer blow
If you don't see it coming you can't break your fall
You just take the full force of it all
I thought I was 'boxing clever', then I hit the floor
Like a fool I stood up for more
I thought we were only sparring, but this was the 'big show'.
Why was I the last one to know?

Bitter words, sung sweetly
The whole truth, but not completely
Bitter words…. Sung sweetly by you
My world, broken in a minute
My life and all that's in it
My world…. Is broken in two
Bitter words, sung sweetly by you

Roger Gall 1999

Is there a right way, place or time to break bad news to someone? Do we even hear any attempts made to 'sugar the pill'?

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Jun 00 - 01:25 PM

Well, they train pastors in Clinical Pastoral Care to break news like this when there has been a traffic fatality--- it can take awhile for this whole cycle to play out, with pauses in between while the family absorbs each element:

"Mr. [name], there has been an accident... Can you come to the hospital?" (or, "Can you wait here please while I see what is happening?")

"Your [family member] was involved."

"Well, it turns out it was a serious accident."

"I believe they are still working on [him, her]...."

"Mr. [name], the doctor has asked me to let you know that things are not going well.... they are doing everything they can... are there some people you would like to call to come be with you?"

"Mr. [name], you know that the doctors have been working very hard to try to save your [family member].... I am sorry to say that the injuries were so serious that they were not able to save [him, her]...."

And sometimes the deceased has been long gone before the right people can be there to break the news in the right way, so there can be some support.

Then there is the story I heard recently about the WRONG way. Not a joke-- the doctor came out and said to the family, "In every life there are these two days. One is the day we are born. For your family member, today was the other day." He turned on his heel and left. That was it.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Jun 00 - 02:07 PM

Gee Shambles, You dredged up a memory that I thought was put to rest forever. At least I have a new perspective on it.

And then there is the VERY old joke: "Your mother is out on the roof..."

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: Songster Bob
Date: 22 Jun 00 - 03:21 PM

The trad. way to break the news of a death in the family, of course, is a letter edged in black. If I recall, it was Gus Meade, the late fiddler and folklorist, told me he had once had an actual letter edged in black, bought at a yard sale or estate sale.

I wonder if someone these days has created an emoticon for the email edged in black....?

Bob Clayton

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: kendall
Date: 22 Jun 00 - 08:59 PM

Break the news to mother
She knows how dear I love her
And tell her not to wait for me
For I'm not coming home
Just say there is no other
Can take the place of Mother
Then, kiss her dear sweet lips for me
And break the news to her.

Spanish American War..recorded by Arnold Keith Storm for Folk Legacy. If you want the rest of it, I'll post it.

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: Amergin
Date: 22 Jun 00 - 09:52 PM

Sounds lovely, Kendall. Please do..

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: bob jr
Date: 22 Jun 00 - 11:10 PM

this all reminds me of that poem about the son coming home from war and he tells his folks that he is bringing home a friend who has no arm and the folks say that is ok and then he says that he has no leg and they say that is ok and then he says that his friend is blind and they say that is ok and then he says his friend cant walk and they got to feed him and the folks say um that sounds like a lot of work so forget son sorry and then a casket shows up and the son is in it and he doesnt have a cap on or something which just shows ya!

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: Mbo
Date: 22 Jun 00 - 11:15 PM

Bob, that sounds remarkably like this song.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: bob jr
Date: 22 Jun 00 - 11:25 PM

its similar but my story is from the first world war and the signifigance of the cap is that them were days when good manners counted for alot i am not sure but in the poem i think the friend moves in the family anyhow and they are to polite to ask him to leave ...

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: TheOldMole
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 01:08 AM

Frankie went to see Mrs Johnson Fell down on her knees Cried Oh, Mrs Johnson Forgive me won't you please

I shot your man Cause he done me wrong

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: Amergin
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 02:10 AM

Bobjr, you wouldn't happen to remember who wrote it do you?

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: Sorcha
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 02:10 AM

Sinsull, I know that joke, but does everybody else? Still think it is funny. And, it is what I thought of while reading Praise's comments.Warped minds, eh?

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: bob jr
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 02:16 AM

um it was round the time of the first world war so i know it wasnt shakespeare. i could go look it up i suppose they used to read it at my highschool every november 11th which was a day for remebering stuff you might have forgotten beforehand.

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: Amergin
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 02:43 AM

Wouldn't be Robert Service or Yeats would it?

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: bob jr
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 02:50 AM

i have to honestly admit that although it was read to us on remeberance day i have truly forgot it i am not sure if the son in the casket was without cap it could have been that he was wearing mismatched sox or that his shoes were in disaray i cant remeber i just know it was some breach of ettiquete or nother just dont remeber which one maybe he was wearing white after labor day but the friend got a sweet deal out of it and i think that was the point or i forget that part too anyway it wasnt no picnic for the parents that much i do know

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: Gervase
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 07:21 AM

Reminds me of that ol' tearjerker in the DT, COMING TO US DEAD, though I don't know the tune.

Subject: Lyr Add: BREAK THE NEWS TO MOTHER^^
From: kendall
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 07:49 AM

BREAK THE NEWS TO MOTHER

While shot and shell were screaming
Across the battlefield,
The boys in blue were fighting
Their noble flag to shield.
Then a cry from our brave captain
Said, "Boys, the flag is down.
Who'll volunteer to save it from disgrace?"
"I will," a young boy shouted,
"I'll save the flag or die!"
Then rushed into the thickest of the fray,
Saved the flag, but gave his young life
All for his country's sake.
We carried him back and heard him softly say:

CHORUS: Just break the news to Mother.
She knows how dear I love her.
And tell her not to wait for me,
For I'm not coming home.
Just say there is no other
Can take the place of Mother.
Then kiss her dear sweet lips for me
And break the news to her."

From afar a noble general
Had witnessed this brave deed.
"Who saved the flag? Speak up, boys.
'Twas a noble and brave deed."
Then a cry from our own captain said,
"Sir, he's sinking fast,"
Then slowly turned away to hide a tear.
The general in a moment
Knelt down beside the boy
And gave a cry that touched all hearts that day:
"'Tis my son, my brave young hero,
I thought you safe at home."
"Forgive me, father, for I ran away." CHORUS

I learned this from my ancient great aunt when I was a boy. I think it should be in the DT.

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: kendall
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 07:54 AM

thats a lovely piece Aine, I'd like to hear it sung.

ps for those who dont know, in those days it was vital to keep the regimental flags visible so the troops could rally with their own outfits. Otherwise, it was mass confusion.,

I'm off to Old Songs.

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 09:46 AM

For SORCHA and anyone under the age of 50:

A neighbor was asked to care for his friend's cat while the friend was away on vacation. The very first day the cat died. When the vacationer called to see how his beloved Fluffy was faring, the neighbor said "The cat is dead". After he recovered from the shock, the cat owner angrily told his friend that he could have broken the news to him gently. "You could have told me today that the cat had climbed out on the roof. And tomorrow that you still couldn't get her to come in. Eventually I would have been prepared for the worst. But to just blurt out that she is dead was cruel". His friend agreed, apologized, and just before hanging up the phone said "By the way, your mother climbed out on the roof and I can't get her to come in".

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: Gervase
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 10:13 AM

Reminds me of the apocryphal story about the Regimental Sergeant Major who was bollocked by his CO for insensitivity when he bawled out on the parade ground: "Private Smith - report to the padre, yer muvver's just died!"
The CO implores him to be more tactful next time and he promises to take the advice to heart. The next time a squaddie's nearest and dearest departs, the RSM parades the unit and barks: "All of you with mothers, one pace forward MARCH!"
As the line of troops begins to lurch foward he bellows: "Private Jones - stay where you are!"
Sorry, tasteless, I know...

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 10:21 AM

Since we've migrated to stories....
Man knocks on door:"Excuse me, do you have a large black cat with a white collar?"
Householder:"No"
Man:"Oh, shit, I've just run over the vicar!"
RtS

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 10:47 AM

This is going straight downhill and I take full responsibility.

"Somebody's Darling" "Who'll tell his mother where her boy has died?"

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 12:04 PM

"Father, Dear Father Come Home With Me Now"

"Yes, we are alone
Poor Benny is dead
And gone with the angels of light..."

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 12:09 PM

"Only Me"

Dying child's last words: "You still have your pet Marie...
Mother it's only me"

I am off to the ladies room now to sob. If I were not depressed enough about the end of the Great Adventure, I sure am now.

Then again "Your mother climbed out on the roof and I can't get her to come back in..."

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 12:25 PM

"The Letter Edged In Black", a real tear-jerker, is sure to be in the DT.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 12:53 PM

I have a letter edged in black sent to my grandmother's ladies club, of which she was the secretary, thanking them for their condolences upon the death of President Garfield; it is quite somber.

This is the first time I've read through this thread, but just looking at the title and reading about divorce, etc. on some other threads, I keep thinking of that country song, can't remember if it was Loretta Lynn or someone else who sang, went something like, "I'm sorry, so sorry..."

kat

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: sophocleese
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 02:00 PM

Full fathom five thy father lies..

His aqualung was the wrong size.

Subject: RE: Songs about breaking bad news.
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 02:38 PM

Brenda Lee, Kat. "I'm sorry, so sorry
That I was such a fool
But I didn't know
Love could be so cruel

I'm sorry, so sorry
Please accept my apology
But love was blind
And I was too blind to see

Whoa ho ho ho oh yes....

Is that it? SS

Subject: Lyr Add: I'LL TAKE MY SORROW STRAIGHT(Iris DeMent)
From: Margaret V
Date: 23 Jun 00 - 08:00 PM

A song similar in sentiment to Roger's is "I'll Take My Sorrow Straight" by Iris DeMent:

I'LL TAKE MY SORROW STRAIGHT
(Iris DeMent)

We both know the reason why you've called
So stop wastin' time tryin' to soften up my fall
I know you wanna sweeten up the taste
But if you don't mind, I'll just take my sorrow straight

You almost make it seem like somethin' nice
The way you take your bad news and you pour it over ice
That's a kindness I don't appreciate
'Cause I like to take my sorrow straight

Chorus:

I wouldn't say that I'm any stronger than the rest
But no matter what you say it ain't gonna hurt me any less
'Cause in the end there is really no escape
So I go on and I just take my sorrow straight.

Iris DeMent/Elmer McCall
Copyright 1996 Songs of Iris ASCAP
MLV^^^

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Added to Digital Tradition July 01.
-Joe Offer-