Lyr Req: Susan B (Leslie Fish)

Subject: Leslie Fish lovers....
From: GUEST,Merripan
Date: 26 Jun 00 - 07:08 PM

Looking for the words to a filk song I heard on an old audio tape dating back to the early 70's... It's called "Susan B" and was written and performed by Leslie Fish, renouned in Sci-Fi Filksong. I have only found the verses once, and then lost them in the recent move I had to go through. If anyone has them, it would be really wonderful.

Also, if someone has the filk on "The Marvelous Little Toy", called "The Murderous Little Toy", I love the song, and would greatly appreciate either the lyrics be sent to me, or the link to them be sent to me.

Thanks much!

~M

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Leslie Fish lovers....
From: Pene Azul
Date: 26 Jun 00 - 07:11 PM

You can get the lyrics to "The Murderous Little Toy" here (click).

PA

Subject: Lyr Add: SUSAN B (Gary Ehrlich)
From: Pene Azul
Date: 26 Jun 00 - 07:14 PM

You can get lyrics and chords to "Susan B" here (click).

PA

---

Susan B: The Final Vengeance
by: "Gorgeous" Gary Ehrlich c 2/96
ttto: "Susan B" by Leslie Fish

  A	                          G
  Oh Susan B, start cleaning up the house for me
  	        D	                      E
  I'm bringing by all the guys for the football game
       A	                                 G
  Cook some hors d'oeuvres, find some good beer to serve
  	    D	                          E
  Stay in the kitchen, dear, be the perfect dame
   
  	Am	                        G
  	Sorry, darling Charlie, but I'm staying for the show
  	  Am	         C	         G	           E
  	I understand the rules and I can follow the game's flow
  	         C	         G	        Am	           E
  	And I'll read tomorrow's paper dear, so all the stats I'll know
  	         C	          G	         Am
  	And I'll be more man than you are in the morning
   
  Oh Susan B, put on this bra for me
  Don't you like your negligees? You look good in silk
  Those boots and camo hat make you look like an Army brat
  Undress for me my puss, come and suck my milk
   
  	Yes, my darling Charlie, I'll be sucking up all right
  	My boss and I are meeting to discuss my raise tonight
  	My future at the company is looking rich and bright
  	And I'll be more man than you are in the morning
   
  Oh Susan B, come here and sit on my knee
  Boy have you gotten large, what waist and thighs!
  Please shave that hair I felt, ladies should be smooth and svelte
  It's time to diet dear, and shrink your size
   
  	No, my darling Charlie, for I like this meat and bone
  	I've lifted weights for six months and I've shot testosterone
  	And after years of weakness I enjoy the muscle tone
  	And I'll be more man than you are in the morning
   
  Oh Susan B, come try on this miniskirt for me
  Stop putting on those ties and shirts, you look so male
  When you head out to work, you look like a yuppie jerk
  Time to take you down to the mall, find a handbag sale
   
  	Never, darling Charlie, do you listen much to me
  	So here is what I'm gonna do while you are fast asleep
  	I'm going to cut your gonads off and sew them on to me
  	And I'll be more man than you are in the morning!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Leslie Fish lovers....
From: GUEST,Merripan
Date: 26 Jun 00 - 07:19 PM

Thanks for the lyrics, Pene. That's a different version of Susan B than I'd heard from her. Do you know of another version? I was looking for one with the final line of the chorus being "And they'll find a rapist slaughtered in the morning.". I had no idea there was another one. :-)

Thanks.

~M

Subject: Lyr Add: SUSAN B (Leslie Fish
From: Pene Azul
Date: 26 Jun 00 - 07:26 PM

How about this Susan B. (click)?

PA

---

Susan B.

by Leslie Fish

 
[Him]
"Oh, Susan B.-
Don't bother waiting up for me.
I'm going out with the boys-
for a little fun.
Lock all the doors
before you do your chores,
don't let any strangers in
and get the dishes done."
 
[Her]
"Sorry darling Charlie,
but I've got a date to keep.
The other girls are waiting,
I can hear the car horns beep.
When you read tomorrow's paper dear,
don't let it shake your sleep
That they found some rapist sloughtered
in the morning."
 
[Him]
"Oh, Susan B.-
Come fetch my coat for me.
Don't you ever dress nice at home?
You look dumb in black.
Those boots and beat-up jeans
make you look like a damn marine-
be sure that the floors are clean
when I come back."
 
[Her]
"Yes my darling Charlie,
I'll be cleaning up all right.
The girls and I are going out
to sweep the streets tonight.
And noone ever sees us dear,
except for one last sight
And they'll find the rapist sloughtered
in the morning."
 
[Him]
"Oh, Susan B.-
Now try to listen well to me-
Sure the crime statistics' down,
but take no chance.
Stay locked up safe at home
-it's dangerous for girls to roam
outside your own from door-
even in those pants."
 
[Her]
No my darling Charlie,
I will only stand and wait.
Some other girl will wear the skirt
and look like Hefner's date.
And Goddess help the horny pimp
who comes to take the bate
for they'll find the rapist sloughtered
in the morning."
 
[Him]
"Oh, Susan B.-
Have some beer in the fridge for me.
Are you putting on weight again?
Your arms look thick.
If all that exercise
did nothing, I'm not suprised.
When will you get tired of
that fitness kick?"
 
[Her]
Never darling Charlie,
for this isn't flab but meat-
six months of heavy training now
and three months on the street.
And after years of running,
yes, revenge is very sweet.
And they'll find the rapist sloughtered
in the morning."
 
[Him]
"Oh, Susan B.-
Fix the zipper on my shorts for me.
Do something with your face and hair.
You look so plain.
When I go out on the street
the girls there look so sweet,
then I have to come back home to you?
It's a real pain."
 
[Her]
"Never darling Charlie,
do you hear one word I say
and well I know the kind of games
you play when you're away.
It wouldn't much supprise me
if you don't come home by day,
and I find that I'm a widow
in the morning."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Leslie Fish lovers....
From: GUEST,Merripan
Date: 26 Jun 00 - 07:35 PM

Bingo!!! Thank you, thank you thank you!!!! You're SO good!

Whoo hoo! One more down in my book of fiendish plots to take over... Oh... Uhhhh.... Right. Not supposed to reveal fiendish plots on the internet. Never mind.

~M

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Leslie Fish lovers....
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 04:30 PM

Just unearthed a homemade CD of Fish recordings made by an SCA friend of my daughter Andie. These recordings were possibly made at SCA events as there is audience banter and someone (presumably SCA queen) saying "you have our permission to put this on the internet." at the beginning of song "This Is Not the Way to Get Laid."

Now I have transcribed lyrics for my own personal use, but I wonder, does any one possibly know the song?

It could be a filk.

I would like guitar chords for it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Leslie Fish lovers....
From: Gorgeous Gary
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 10:00 PM

Virginia,

I do know the song, and I have a Leslie Fish songbook somewhere in my collection. I will check and see if there are chords. If not, I know what rocks to kick over.

In the meantime, try chords in the key of Am. A lot of Leslie's songs *are* in that key.

Oh, and that parody Pene Azul first accidentally linked to back in 2000? I'm rather ashamed to admit it's *MINE*. It was inspired by a friend in the filk community who had, at the time, just (a) gotten divorced and (b) done a female-to-male gender change.

-- Gary

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Leslie Fish lovers....
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 02:56 AM

thanks Gary

but I think I worked it out. at least it works for me

NOT THE WAY TO GET LAID

Am          E          Dm       Am
Listen and I'll tell you how it's done
Am       E          Dm          Am
If you want a woman, learn from one
Am    Dm         E                Dm
Don't assume this is all for your fun
Am             E                Am
These are not the ways to get laid


Dm                            E
Don't play the cool sophisticate,
Am
To prove how smart you are
Dm                            E
Telling all your kinky fantasies
Am      Dm    Am          E
Just won't get you very far

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Leslie Fish lovers....
From: Gorgeous Gary
Date: 13 Sep 09 - 09:45 PM

Virginia,

I found the songbook I was thinking of--The Incomplete Leslie Fish--and it did have chords for "Not The Way To Get Laid". You're pretty close; here's what the songbook had:

VERSE
Am B D Am
Am B D Am
Am C E F
Am E Am

BRIDGE
Dm F Am
Dm F E F E

-- Gary