BS: How does one do it?

Subject: How does one do it?
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 08:06 PM

Ok, let me try asking this question without sounding full of myself....How does one say thank you for the praise one receives without sounding falsely modest or arrogant? Like at a reading or a gig or something and some one comes up to you and says you did a good job or something....or in the hearmes and posting your work here...how does one respond?

Amergin

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: kendall
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 08:13 PM

I say, "Thank you, I really appreciate that."

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: Bernard
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 08:19 PM

Exactly. The true meaning of humility is to accept what you are, not to demean yourself.

Remember that the person giving the praise has probably needed to summon up some extra confidence from somewhere, and it's up to you not to let them down!

Accept the praise graciously, but don't overdo it!

'I try to do my best' sounds more like you're fishing for more compliments - Kendall's effort is succinct, neither understated nor overstated, I just wish I'd got there first!!

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: paddymac
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 08:29 PM

I share Kendall's view. Most "kudos" are perhaps more polite pleasantry than critical acclaim, and a sincere "Thank You" is the safe, and usually appropriate answer. When I sense a compliment based on a real critique, I will sometimes inquire with some specificity about what worked, etc. - not to see how closely they were listening, but in the interest of finding out "why" they liked whatever it was. I'm always amazed at the things an audience member picks up on, in contrast to whatever I thought I/we did well or poorly in a given performance. We all hear somewhat selectively, and tend to focus opur attention on what we want to hear.

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: Mbo
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 08:32 PM

Stick with the King. "Thank you, thank you very much."

--M

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: sophocleese
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 08:48 PM

"Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: bbelle
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 08:57 PM

My echoes to the above. I have a difficult time accepting compliments ... it always embarrasses me ... but I've learned to say "thank you" and to be gracious.

moonchild

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: JenEllen
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 09:08 PM

Moon's got it there. I also find it difficult to be gracious when I know in my heart it could have been better. Stick with a "Thank You" and mean it.

~Elle

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: Gary T
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 09:20 PM

Sophocleese beat me to it, verbatim.

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: GUEST,Banjo Johnny
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 09:31 PM

"My pleasure!"

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: Naemanson
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 09:43 PM

Here in Maine you can use the praise you receive to pick out the natives from the tourists. If the audience member gushes effusively aout your performance then they are from away and are feeling free with their praise either because they are happy to be living in Maine or because they are on vacation. If someone sits through the performance without any indication that he or she has heard you and then nods politely at you and leaves then you have just received high praise from a downeaster.

And believe me when I tell you, it ain't easy to earn that praise. Fortunately you don't have to worry too much about it. Most downeasters prefer country western to folk music anyway. As a result they don't hear me play and sing.

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: bflat
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 10:09 PM

Tonight I got the chance to praise Jimmie Dale Gilmore for his wonderful performance at a show in Piermont, NY. He responded with his big smile, a picture of genuine sweetness, said, "Thank you, thank you very much." And then, he stuck out his hand for a handshake. Doesn't get much better than that!

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 12:47 AM

"Thank you very much. I appreciate your saying that." All the best. Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: thosp
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 01:06 AM

"you ain't heard nothing yet!!!" it worked for Al Jolsen

peace (Y) thosp

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: Callie
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 01:26 AM

Inspired by "The Meaning of Liff", I coined the term "Leppington". It refers to the action of reaching for the glass to take a sip on having performed your song. The Leppington will usually take place in that awkward gap while people are applauding and you don't know where to look or what to do with your hands.

A variation of the standard Leppington is the Guitarists' Leppington - fiddling with the keys to fix non-existant tuning problems.

Leppington is also a suburb of Sydney.

Callie

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: Rosebrook
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 01:54 AM

I've participated in the following group exercise (Compliment Whip) that has had a strong impact, and a good tool for team building: Sitting in a circle, the first person turns and looks directly into the eyes of the next person (co-worker, etc.) and says, "One thing I really appreciate about you is _______ ."(filling in the blank with something sincere, and specific to that person's behavior, work performance, personality, etc.)

At this point, the exercise is only half over. For the exercise to be effective, the person receiving the compliment should maintain eye contact with the person giving the compliment while the compliment is being given, and then acknowledge the giver by saying something to the effect of, "Thank you. I appreciate you saying that."

I think you raised a good question Amergin. I think it isn't inappropriate or arrogant to acknowledge someone giving a compliment with eye contact, a smile, a handshake, a nod, a big, "Thank you!"

Rose

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: alison
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 02:54 AM

yep I say what sophoclese says......

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: Allan C.
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 07:26 AM

Truth is that I am invariably caught by surprise when this happens. But it is far too important an event to screw up by mumbling something you just thought up because it may not come out the way you intend. I urge you (if you are at all at a loss for words as I am in such instances) to pre-plan something to say. It isn't any the less sincere. It is just something that you will probably be able to say without having to invent something. One of the nicest things I ever heard a performer say was, "Thank you! I enjoyed doing it for you."

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: GUEST,Banjo Johnny
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 01:08 PM

Host: Thank you so much. Banjo Johnny: My pleasure!

Host: We hope you'll be with us again soon. B.J.: Wouldn't miss it for the world.

Host: You were absolutely brilliant! marvelous! ... B.J.: I know, I know!

Host: On behalf of myself and the Board of Directors --- B.J.: Is there any more wine?

Host: Would you prefer cash, or a check? B.J.: Why, the money's not important! I do this purely for the joy of making music, and the pleasure it brings to others. Cash'll be fine.

== Johnny in Oklahoma City

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: Mbo
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 01:18 PM

I always like shift the compliment from myself to the songwriter, as in "Thanks, Dougie is so cool, ain't he?"

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: Kim C
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 02:32 PM

Thank you.

Not, oh, this old thing, we didn't get to practice, I really could have done better..... none of that. It demeans the person's compliment to you.

Just say thanks, and look them in the eye.

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: Sean Belt
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 03:04 PM

I find that "Thank you. That's nice of you to say." works wonders. Also, if one really means it, "Thank you. Coming from you that means a lot."

- Sean

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: Allan C.
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 04:37 PM

Kim C brings up a point I made years ago with a singing partner of mine. NEVER demean someone's compliment by demeaning your performance or the content thereof. Doing so is tantamount to telling the complimentor (You like that? I just now made it up! Thank you!) that he/she lacks a discerning taste or wasn't really listening at all.

A simple "Thank you!" would suffice.

Subject: RE: BS: How does one do it?
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 05:21 PM

How does ONE do it??

Usually by hand...