Symphony Concert Reviewed by Industrial Engineer

Subject: Silly Season again
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 10:28 AM

Well, at least this one's musical:

A Symphony Concert, as Reviewed by an Industrial Engineer

For considerable periods the four oboe players had nothing to do. The number should be reduced and the work spread more evenly over the whole concert, thus eliminating peaks and valleys of activity.

All twelve violins were playing identical notes; this seems unnecessary duplication. The staff of this section should be drastically cut. If a larger volume of sound is required, it could be obtained by means of electronic amplifying apparatus.

Much effort was absorbed in the playing of demi-semi-quavers; this seems to be an unnecessary refinement. It is recommended that all notes be rounded up to the nearest semi-quaver. If this were done, it would be possible to use trainees and lower-grade operatives more extensively.

There seems to be too much repetition of some musical passages. Scores should be drastically pruned. No useful purpose is derived by repeating on the horns something which has already been handled by the strings. It is estimated that if all redundant passages were eliminated the whole concert time of two hours could be reduced twenty minutes and there would be no need for an intermission
(Culled from the Independent)
RtS

Subject: RE: Silly Season again
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 10:35 AM

sounds more like a Republican to me. Fire them, good way to increase the bottom line.

Subject: RE: Silly Season again
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 11:12 AM

Hey, did this guy ever work in local government in East London???

Sack those who are on more than 8 years service but before they get to the 10 year service payrise..... sound familiar??

LTS

Subject: RE: Silly Season again
From: little john cameron
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 12:03 PM

Richt on Roger.Ah used tae hae a six piece band an noo there's jist me.We also could get seeven nicht a week gigs noo it's ane nicht in seeven places.Spend mair time movin gear than playin. LJC

Subject: RE: Silly Season again
From: Jim the Bart
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 12:16 PM

It's like my worst nightmare - the worst parts of my vocation intruding on my avocation. Make it stop.

Subject: RE: Silly Season again
From: DougR
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 01:22 PM

Rodger: Amazing. I made my living for seventeen years managing symphony orchestras, and that piece was around at least thirty years ago. 'Twas funny then, and it is now. I must confess that I had one or two board members during that seventeen years that thought that way though. DougR

Subject: RE: Silly Season again
From: Ed Pellow
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 01:43 PM

Roger, I'm glad you started a new thread on this - reading the Independent on the way home from work today, I found the following story:

Clowning with a load of cobblers

An Italian clown cannot remember where he has left his size 26 shoes, which he needs for performances in London this week. David Vassallo, of Billy Smarts Circus, said he had forgotten which cobbler he left them withg for repair"

The Independent 23/08/00 p6

And, mmmm, that's it....

Ed