Parody Folk Circle I

Subject: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Jack
Date: 18 Aug 97 - 04:20 PM

I'm going to make as suggestion for a new song circle. I would like to see a session of only parody, humourous, and risqué songs with a folk flavor.

There are plenty of these in the DT, but I'm always interested in new ones. I especially encourage people to share funny songs that they have created themselves or have learned from local people.

I'll start out with a parody of Northwest Passage called

FAR EAST KITCHEN - Parodist Unknown

(Chorus)
Oh for food sublime I would dine at Far East Kitchen
And See the Hand of Welcome Reaching from the Maitre D'
Take the new Red Line past the coop and beat the traffic
And feast at Far East Kitchen, that's for me

Westward from the Davis Square 'tis there it's said to lie
This tea house of the orient to which so many fly
Seeking Peking duckling, leaving well gnawed broken bones
And an oft-remembered cairn of leechee stones

(Repeat Chorus)

Through the night throughout the meal we feasted on the best
Kimcee, moo goo gai pan, mapo tofu and the rest
Steaming plates arrive before us, empty plates removed again
This heartiest of eaters satiated in the end

(Repeat Chorus)

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Earl
Date: 18 Aug 97 - 04:42 PM

A folk song from the Peoples Republic of Cambridge.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Bert Hansell
Date: 18 Aug 97 - 04:58 PM

Let's start with one of the masters. Here's Billy Connolly's page.

http://www.sarsen.demon.co.uk/billy/bc-lyri.html

TTFN, Bert.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: rechal
Date: 18 Aug 97 - 05:04 PM

I hereby cast my vote for "Angus Hempstead," a marvelous parody of broken-token songs. It's in the DT database.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Aug 97 - 05:07 PM

Ok...here is one that leaves me in stiches....

The Eensie-Weensie Spider
by: Tom Smith and Bob Blue

tune: The Mary Ellen Carter

The eensie-weensie spider went up the water spout.
Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
And the eensie-weensie spider climed again.
She wouldn't let the elements distract her from her goal.
The purpose of her struggle was embedded in her soul.
Now see the sun shine down on beasts, on women, and on men,
And see that eensie-weensie spider rise again!

CHORUS Rise again, rise again!
She will not let misfortune keep her
From doing what she can.
So whether your legs number two,
four, six,or eight, or ten,
Be like that eensie-weensie spider.
Rise Again!

This eensie-weensie metaphor's a lesson for us all-
We cannot be defeated if we rise each time we fall.
And if you think story's one you learned too long ago,
Then think about some other ones you know.
You know "The Myth of Sisyphus", and you know Jack & Jill.
It's such a potent image- going up and down a hill.
So every time you fall, or lose a lover or a friend,
Be like that eensie-weensie spider. Rise again!

CHORUS

Perhaps you think this allegory goes a bit too far,
Climbing up a pipe is not like reaching for a star.
But whether it's a waterspout or mountain that you climb,
You've come this far; indulge me one more time.
It could be said that each of us climbs up a waterspout.
The downward pull of gravity is not what it's about.
The upward pull of hope is what will save us in the end.
Be like that eensie-weensie spider. Rise again!
FINAL CHORUS: Rise again, rise again!
Never let misfortune keep you
From doing what you can.
And whether your legs number two,
Four, six, or eight, or ten,
Be like that eensie-weensie spider. Rise again!

hope I got all the line breaks in some reasonable place...

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: rechal
Date: 18 Aug 97 - 05:08 PM

Parody of Comin through the rye (Probably from Allan Sherman)--

Don't be a stingy sandwich-maker

Pile the cold cuts high

Customers should see salami

Coming through the rye.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: barbee
Date: 18 Aug 97 - 06:13 PM

I like that, Rechel. Cute and to the point.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alice
Date: 18 Aug 97 - 08:27 PM

This is another good one for the scout song thread. You are supposed to clap your hands at the asterisks (*)..

SHE WADED IN THE WATER (tune, Battle Hymn of the Republic)

1.She waded in the water and she got her feet all wet,
(repeat)
But she didn't get her * * wet, * yet *.

chorus
Glory, glory, hallelujah! Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah! But she didn't get her **
wet * Yet *.

2. She waded in the water and she got her ankles wet,
(repeat)
But she didn't get her * * wet, * yet *.

chorus

3. She waded in the water and she got her knees all wet...

4. She waded in the water and she got her thighs all wet

5.She waded in the water and she finally got it wet!...
She finally got her bathing suit wet!

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Andy Geliher
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 06:19 AM

Leaping in with The Hard Cheese of Old England (from the database).
This parody is one of many written by Les Barker. His homepage is worth checking as the poems change regularly

. Bill D, heh-heh-heh!

AndyG

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alison
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 06:45 AM

Hi

If you want some parodies of more recent songs, do a search for Weird Al Yankovich. He has done some classics...... Here however is one of my favourites.... (not by Weird Al...)

"Negligee" (parody of "Yesterday" by The Beatles)
Written by Marty Hale-Evans and Melinda Hale.

Negligee,

I look stupid in this negligee

'Cause my butt sticks out this funny way --

Oh, why'd I buy this negligee?

Suddenly,
I am twice the girl I used to be;
Flab is hanging out all over me --
This negligee's a travesty.

Why it doesn't fit I don't know, I couldn't say;

I did something wrong when I bought this negligee.

Negligee,
I would like to take it back today,
But I threw the damn sales slip away --
I'll have to keep this negligee.

Hmm mm mm mm oo oo oooooo.

Come on Alan of Oz how about some of your stuff??????

Slainte

Alison

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Peter T.
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 09:42 AM

Dear Alice, love the bathing suit song, but being slightly challenged rhythmically I can't quite handle the asterisks. I have tried two or three versions of what you have set out -- none seem to fit. Is what you have put down right? Could you explain the asterisks a bit more clearly for those of us who are spasterisk? Is there a beat at the end of "yet", etc.? Yours, Peter P.S. There seem to be a lot of underwear songs in these threads recently. Does this have anything to do with the recent appearance of the boy scouts? (I note the underwear songs seem to be preponderately contributed by ladies).

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Ian Currie
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 09:58 AM

Probably the best parodists of English traditional folk music were the Kipper Family, now reduced to young Sid.

Their extensive research into the bye-ways of folk songs revealed such gems as "Biker Bill and Walter Shaw" (jollier lads you never saw) and a whaling song starting:

'Twas in the year of sixty-four (or was it sixty-three?)
We set sail from Solihull bound for Amerikee.
The winds they were a-roaring. it was a fearful sight.
It took us forty days, me lads, to reach the Isle of Wight.

... continuing in the same vein ...

The captain's name was Gladys. He wore a dress of red,
Which maybe was the reason he was not marry-ed.

...It was his pride and joy
To take a turn around the deck with the handsome cabin boy.

...etc...
I don't know whether any of Sid's songs are on the Net - anybody know?

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Earl
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 10:08 AM

That last one reminded me of a parody we used to sing of the theme from the movie "Sink the Bismark" (kid's parody's probably dererve their own thread)

The year was 1942 or was it 43

We sailed with Captain Tunafish, the chicken of the sea

We all are British sailors, we always shout hey hey

But when the Bismark came along we sailed the other way

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 10:12 AM

OK here's a parody and one of my few political songs:

EARLY ONE MORNING

Early one morning a week before election day
I heard a politician promise all the world to me
"These are my pledges: I'll increase wages
And I'll cut your taxes if you'll only vote for me."

So early on election day I hurried to the polling booth
I placed a 1 into the square right opposite his name
This man seemed so true and just, a politician I could trust
He got my vote because he said he'd set the world aflame.

All through that evening I sat and watched my TV set
With great anticipation till the counting it was done
Excitement had seized me, oh how the outcome pleased me
At the close of day the workers party had won.

For many months thereafter I waited for my luck to change
I waited for improvement but I waited all in vain
No changes were delivered, now I've discovered
It doesn't matter who's in power they're always just the same.

Remember the promises you made to me so truly
Remember all the things you said so many months ago
Oh you deceived me, saddened and grieved me
How could you use a poor worker so?

(C) Copyright 1990 by Alan Foster.

A generic political song. People who write political songs often experience the frustration at election time of seeing a large part of their repetoire rendered obsolete overnight. This song remains valid.

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Laoise, Belfast
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 11:14 AM

I heard a very humourous song one time, sung by an elderly lady who was drinking pints of Guinness in O'Lochlainn's pub, Ballyvaughn, Co Clare.

The song was about a woman who was waiting for Mr Right to come along and she would look out the window of her house for him to pass by. The years went by and still this went on, but in the meantime she was getting pretty old. And then one day she couldn't stand it any longer. A postman came in and she tried to pounce on him while wearing just a pair of frilly knickers and in his efforts to escape he jumps out of a closed window. I would love to get the words, title and tune. Anyone know what I'm on about?

Laoise.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Peter T.
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 11:32 AM

A brief attack on optimism from "Annie":

"The sun'll break up tomorrow,

Bet your bottom dollar, there'll be sorrow:

Tomorrow, tomorrow!!

and from "The King and I":

"Whenever I feel afraid,

I press the seat eject, so my creditors won't suspect

I've been paid.

Make believe you're dead

and the trick will take you far

Elvis makes more dead

Than when he was a star

(whistle)

When considering suicide

I strike a careless pose

And give myself a dose

of Cyanide.

(whistle)

While shivering with the blues

Down with the derelicts

I whistle a bright refrain

And everyone smashes sticks

On my brain!

(whistle, and so on)

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Whip
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 12:07 PM

On top of old Smoky
All covered with snow,
I lost my jet pilot
From Flying too low

He put on an air show,
He did it for me.
On top of old Smoky
He clobbered a tree.

On top of old Smoky
He made his last pass.
At altitude zero
He busted his...airplane.

I know, I know, it doesn't rhyme... Gotta keep it clean for the kiddies.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From:
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 12:08 PM

As long as we're on the subject on underwear....

"Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear" (Winter Wonderland) is the database.

I love love love the negligee song!

Here's one sung to the tune of Brazil (which was Les Paul? Chet Atkins? Someone else entirely?)

Brassières! Sold on the second floor at Sears!

They mold your boobies into spears! Brassières!

(That's all I know.)

I also have a CD with a silly song on it called "From the Indies to the Andes in his Undies." Anyone familiar with it?

Another silly favorite of mine is "Dead Dog Scrumpy", or maybe it's called Scrumpy Cider. In any case, it's in the database. And it doesn't mention underwear even once.

And here's one sung to the tune of the Toreador song from Bizet's Carmen:

Toreador-a! Don't spit on the floor-a

Use the cuspidor-a! Whaddaya tink it's for-a?

Would someone please tell me how to do line breaks? That would be so nice....

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From:
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 06:02 PM

Hi Recha

Just type
at the end of each line. (It's easier to copy and paste it.) Oh, and while I'm here......here's one of Weird Al's....

Lasagna Weird Al Yankovic [La Bamba/trad.]

La-la-la-la-lasagna.

You want-a some-a lasagna, magnifico,

Or a-maybe spaghetti!

Ay, you supper's a-ready now, where you go?

Mama mia bambino!

Mama mia bambino, 'samatta you?

'Samatta you, 'samatta you?

You should-a taste my lasagna
Ay, you no like-a lasagna,
That's okay too.
How about-a calzone?
Some-a nice minestrone, atsa good for you.
Have-a some marinara.
Have-a some marinara, I know-a you like.
I know-a you like, I know-a you like.

La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!

Would you like some-a zucchini?
Or-a my homemade linguini, it's hard-a to beat.
Have-a more fettucini.
Ay, you getting too skeeny, you gotta to eat.
Ay, mange, mange!

Ay, you-a pass the lasagna!
A-don't you get any on ya, you sloppy peeg.
Have-a more ravioli.
You-a get roly poly, a-nice and-a beeg.
Like you cousin Luigi.
Luigi, Luigi, capisce paisan?
Capisce paisan, capisce paisan?

La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!

Slainte

Alison

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: alison
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 06:05 PM

Hi

It's me again. This time I'm issuing a challenge, anyone out there got a parody of "The Macarena", I keep getting asked to sing it at bush dances and would love a different version.

Help me please...........

Slainte

Alison

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Barry Finn
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 06:46 PM

When I was a young man, I played a guitar
And lived the free life of a rover
From Brisbane's Green River to each dusty folk bar
I waltzed my ol' Martin all over
And in each club I played at the people said son
We do like your singing but when I was done
They leaped on the stage saying I sing you on
And this was the song that they sung

And the band played Waltzing Matilda
And the audience soon forgot me
Amid all the cheers, flag waving & tears
I went to the loo for a pee

How well I remember that terrible day
When my blood boiled hotter that water
For up to that time I'd been well on my way
To winning the publican's daughter
Johnny Turk he was there & he sung his song well
I rained him with insults & truth is to tell
I wished Eric Bogle had gone strait to hell
And never had come to Australia

And the band played Waltzing Matilda
Was such a well-loved refrain
That when Johnny Turk had finished the jerk
Went & sang it all over again

So now every April I sit on my porch
And I watch my past life go before me
And I wished I had written that rambling old song
That brought Eric Bogle such glory
And the songs that I write I don't sings 'em no more
They're tiring old songs from a tiring old bore
And the young people ask what did he write them for
And I ask myself the same question

And the band played Waltzing Matilda
And the singers all respond to the call
But as year follows year, my hopes disappear
That no one will sing it no more.

I don't remember who penned this gem but Eric said he's a close friend of his.
"Killing Me Softly with Kung Fu" is another oldie but can't remember it.
Barry

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Oz
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 07:08 PM

What Alison meant is you type <BR> at the end of each line

i.e. this<BR>
is<BR>
what<BR>
you<BR>
type<BR>

and this
is
what
you
get

To save typing <BR> at the end of each line, mark the <BR> and press ctrl-C (copy) then at the end of each line press ctrl-V (paste). This should work on most computer/browser setups.

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alice
Date: 19 Aug 97 - 08:44 PM

Peter T. re: the wade in the water song, just sing it through and clap your hands once on each beat, then you should be able to hear where the claps are on each * when you don't sing a word. Alice

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Wolfgang Hell
Date: 20 Aug 97 - 04:31 AM

I remember a few verses of a parody to the tune of Glory Hallelujah, I picked up years ago in N-Ireland:

We make Ian Paisley join the IRA (3x), when the world revolution comes along. Glory, glory, hall...(etc.)

Sir Winston Churchill has a pimple on his nose...

We send Fidel Castro to the silvershine in Moon...

We make Mr. Krushtshev chieftain of the Vatican...

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Wolfgang
Date: 20 Aug 97 - 05:30 AM

Hamish Imlach has made a record titled "Murdered Ballads" only consisting of songs qualifying for this thread.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Andy Geliher
Date: 20 Aug 97 - 05:36 AM

And another parody from Les Barker

Everything Glows

In olden days, how well a fella feeled,
Now they're not well in Sellarfield, and it shows.

Everything Glows.

Nowadays your humble peasant is,
Likely to be fluorescent, from head to toes.

Everything Glows.

One hundred watts, they say,

You can spot today,

Every male today,

In Winscale today,

And the tramps today,

Are like lamps today,

With an incandescent nose.

Parsons, Priests and Monks and Deacons,
All look like Belisha Beacons, They say "God Knows !"

Everything Glows.

Plutocrats don't have plutonium,
They leave those Vats of Odium to the proles.

Everything Glows.

Acid rain and radiation,
Our gifts to other nations, both friend and foes.

Everything Glows.

In the West today,

We fluoresce today,

And the rain today,

Rots your brain today,

And the Manx today,

Don't give thanks today,

For the waste that we dispose.

Cows that once just ruminated,
Are now illuminated from head to toes.

Everything Glows.

On the hills the sheep are numerous,
Shining in their illuminous sheepskin clothes.

Everything Glows.

On the hills and mountain passes,
Sheepdogs all wear dark glasses, perched on their nose.

Everything Glows.

The sheep today,

They may sleep today,

But their sleep today,

Is not deep today,

For the night today,

Is too bright today,

And they've all got extra toes.

Why is there this sense of doom in us,
Must be because we're luminous, I suppose.

Everything Glows.

Words:Les Barker
Tune:Anything Goes - Cole Porter

Like most of his parodies, it's UK orientated, but if any non-Brits want an explaination of references mail me at [e-mail]

AndyG

And if anyones got the words to his "Three Bears" parody
(My husbands got no porridge in 'im) PLEASE post them.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alice
Date: 20 Aug 97 - 11:31 AM

Around the second grade, my son came home from school with several parodies of the "Barney" the Dinosaur song. He was horrified. The youngsters, who had previously loved Barney, discovered that it was fashionable to hate Barney, and invented many lyrics about his demise. I'm sure you've heard some of these..."I hate you, you hate me, let's hang Barney from a tree..." Typical gruesome childhood inventions.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Laoise, Belfast
Date: 20 Aug 97 - 11:48 AM

I love the lasagne song - it made me hunger for a big bowl of pasta.

Everything Glows is cool too - my Dad would love it!

Has anyone got any alternative lyrics to "Green Fields of France". I heard about four different parodies of this song before I heard the original. I guess its because the original is renowned for going on and on and on and...

Slan

Laoise

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Jack
Date: 20 Aug 97 - 01:24 PM

I love Everything Glows

I'm ROTFL

There is a local humorist/folksinger in the Cleveland area named Tim Wallace. He writes the most hysterical songs. Not parodies in the classical sense, just roll on the floor funny. And he makes no apologies or attempts to be inoffensive or politically correct.

Here are two of his:

THE SIX O'CLOCK NEWS
(sung to the tune of the Calliope Song)
Lyrics Copyright, Tim Wallace

Another body was found this morning
Strikers given another warning
Prices are up, employment is down
Another hundred thousand people march against abortion
The sex offender who was apprehended
Is back on the street with his fine suspended
Today's winning lottery number is seven-seven-oh!
A trucker hauling acid fell asleep at the wheel
Spilling ten thousand gallons on an automobile
Which swerved into the path of an oncoming bus
Killing all fifty persons on board!
That awful jolt that you felt today
Was yet another fault line giving away
It seems there was just a minor malfunction
Ooops there goes another nuclear reactor
Foreign affairs in great disorder
Tanks lining up on every border
The five-day forecast indicates some hurricanes and a flood
The football players are claiming that they're underpaid
And so this evening's game will not be played
Of human interest, there was little or none
And that's the Six O'clock news!

Tim says he got the idea for this while trying to watch the news at a friend's apartment while a calliope played outside the window (the town was having some kind of festival honoring a local fruit, strawberries I think). Tim say's that the circus sound of the calliope seemed frighteningly apropos to the news report.

The next song is risqué, and in the tradition of Robert W. Service.

THE COWBOY SONG
Copyright Tim Wallace

(Cowboy sings)
I was ridin' along on the prairie when one day I happened upon
Some boys riding herd into Denver, and the Trail Boss hired me on
They all seemed like regular fella's, we laughed and we joked and we swore
Then I noticed a mare with no rider, and I asked the boss "What that for?"

(Boss Replies in deep voice)
Well it's a lonely life on the prairie, when the women are so far away
And old Buttercup sure comes in handy, whenever we need a good lay-dee-odle-ay
(Cowboy)
Well me, I'm an old fashioned cowboy, but I never learned that one in school
Here I was stuck on the prairie with a whole bunch of horsef---ing fools

But as time went on I got lonesome, and nature was taking its course
It wasn't too long till I found out that I was in love with a wonderful horse
I lead her away from the campfire, just me and my sweet Buttercup
I stood on top of an old barrel cactus and proceeded to hitch myself up

The trail boss heard the commotion, and found me a-humping away
He stood there and laughed his fool head off, and this is what he had to say
(Boss)
Well a man's gotta do what he has to, and son I ain't putting you down
But when me an the fellas start feeling that way, we usually just ride her to town

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From:
Date: 20 Aug 97 - 03:30 PM

There was this guy in Norfolk Virginia (where I used to live) named Ken Hicks who either wrote or performed some very wacky songs. I'm pretty sure he wrote this one, but I can only remember the chorus:

Some folks love hamhocks

Some folks love pork chops

Some folks love veeeeeegetable soup

But Roland the Roadie, he loves Gertrude the Groupie

And Gertrude the Groupie loves those groups.

He also covered The Great Strip Poker Massacre by Mike Cross, which is a wonderful song.

Thanks for the tips on linebreaks -- hope it works.

Anyone for a chorus of "God Rest Ye Jerry Mendelbaum"?

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Aug 97 - 08:17 PM

*grin*... heard that "Cowboy Song" 20 years ago in the form of a joke about a camel in Arabia...but it's always interesting when someone has enough talent to translate it to song form...

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Wolfgang
Date: 21 Aug 97 - 04:47 AM

two alternative lyrics to No Man's Land can be found in the DT: Bogled and No Moggy's Land

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Whip
Date: 21 Aug 97 - 10:36 AM

Bill D.
Proving once again there are no new jokes. I heard the camel story from my brother who brought it back in World War II.

Jack
The Six O'clock News is almost too true to be funny... almost. Got any more like that?

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Mike
Date: 21 Aug 97 - 12:36 PM

Wolfgang: It has been a long time since I have seen or even heard that name - Hamish Imlach.. I remember seeing him in Glasgow sometime around 1968 or so. I would be interested in hearing what songs he has on the album you mentioned. Is he still in the land of the living? I thought he dies a number of years back

regards

Mike D

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Oz
Date: 22 Aug 97 - 02:01 AM

G'day,
Here's a story about a young man meeting his real father for the first time:

A parody on the

CITY OF NEW ORLEANS

by Alan Foster

I've travelled from the City of New Orleans
I tracked you down to Memphis Tennessee
It's taken such a long, long time to find you
But you meant so much to my mama and me
Do you remember long ago
You travelled round and made your dough
Sellin' life insurance door to door
I guess you've made your pile since then
You spend your time among rich men
Like predators you prey upon the poor.

Good mornin' Mr Business Man how are you?
Say don't you know me, I'm your natural son?
I was conceived the day you wandered through New Orleans
You were gone 500 miles when the day was done.

Night time in the City of New Orleans
You knocked upon a poor young lady's door
I guess you sold her more than life insurance
When day had dawned you'd left for Baltimore
But you don't know how hard it's been
Our lives have been a bad dream
All this time you still ain't heard the news
But here I am I've found my dad
From now on life won't be bad
'Cause now you've got the re-appearing offspring blues.

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 22 Aug 97 - 03:33 AM

Mike D, I just picked up a CD Hamish Imlach did in 1995 with Muriel Graves & Kate Kramer. It's called "More & Merrier," the label is Lochshore, number CDLDL 1238.
Songs are Castlereagh, Mary Alice Jones, I Like Beer, She Moved Through the Fair, Shit I've Forgotten the words (a real classic), Mary Anne, Hills of Lorne (instrumental), Pub with no Beer, Amazing Grace, Willowy Gardens, Aunt Clara, Jock of Bredeslie, If You Go Away, and If It Wasnae for the Unions.
It's a good collection of songs. Some funny, some not. I'd heard him mentioned here, and I thought I'd rescue him from the bargain rack and give him a listen. I't a good album.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Wolfgang
Date: 22 Aug 97 - 04:50 AM

Mike, according to one obituary site on the web, Hamish Imlach died Jan 1st, 1996, at the age of 55. Look here early next week for the tracklist of Murdered Ballads.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From:
Date: 22 Aug 97 - 11:17 AM

Joe-O:

Oh please oh please would you post "Shit I've Forgotten The Words"?

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Whippoorwill
Date: 22 Aug 97 - 11:29 AM

Here's one we used to do in college. I don't know if it's the custom elsewhere, but in America, giving a girl your fraternity pin was serious business. "Being pinned" was a step above going steady, but not quite engaged.

It's sung to the tune of "Don't Fence Me In."

Oh, when we're drinkin' and you're thinkin' that I'm thinkin' of romance,
Don't take my pin.
Love is swell, what the hell, give the other girls a chance,
Don't take my pin.
I know that I am the one and there is no other;
I know you'd like to take me home to meet your mother;
But can't you get a pin from my fraternity brother?
Don't take my pin.

Just take my love, take my flowers, while we while away the hours,
And I prove that I am tru-ue.
Just take the change from my pocket take my sterling silver locket
That's engraved with I love you-u.

Just take my grey Chevrolet with the windshield wipers,
My Tommy Dorsey records with the four Pied Pipers,
But if you take my pin I'm gonna lose my diapers;
Don't take my pin. (Oh, no, Baby don't you take my pin.)

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From:
Date: 22 Aug 97 - 04:40 PM

This is too much. Less than a week after I posted the lyrics to the liverwurst song, I come across a parody of it. Must be from the Department of Redundancy Department.

Software Shoppin'

When you go software shopping in the mall,

Don't buy Win95

Don't buy Win95

Don't buy Win95

I repeat what I just said before

Don't buy Win95

Don't buy Win95

Oh buy a Macintosh if you MUST

OS/2 Warp you can trust

And DOS puts you in orbit A-OK

But that big hunk of code was first

Supposed to be released June first

But was pushed back to August 23rd

So when you go software shopping in the mall

Don't buy Win95

Don't buy Win95

Don't buy Win95

It'll make your hard drives awful small

Don't buy Win95

Don't buy Win95

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From:
Date: 22 Aug 97 - 05:15 PM

I swear I won't post to this thread again today. But I just found a Dr. Demento Web site with TONS of lyrics to Tom Lehrer songs, Allan Sherman, and even the song about what it is that Scotsmen don't wear beneath their kilts.

Here you go:

http://copper.ucs.indiana.edu/~jbmorris/

(Tried to make a link...hope it works.)

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: rechal
Date: 22 Aug 97 - 05:18 PM

Dr. Demento Web Site

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Peter T.
Date: 22 Aug 97 - 06:12 PM

Rechal, it was worth the effort. A thousand thanks. I have been looking for an Allan Sherman/Tom Lehrer, etc. site for quite a while, and whenever Dr. Demento turned up on the search engines, I thought it was some nonsense, and never checked. And voila. Yours, Peter

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Peter T.
Date: 22 Aug 97 - 06:26 PM

Just a title, but it gives you some idea of what is on the site! "Libyan on a Jet Plane" by Pinkard and Bowden.

Yours, Peter

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Moira Cameron
Date: 24 Aug 97 - 02:39 AM

Barry Finn (several messages above mine) quoted the parody, "And the Band played'And the Band Played Waltzin' Matilda'". My father used to sing some of this guys parodies and humourous songs; I've been searching for the author's name for years. If anyone recognizes him, please let me know. He also wrote "Throw Away your razor, lad, and grow yourself a beard" (Which my beard sporting father loved to sing), as well as a must for all musicians who have ever experienced the performance from hell--the song's goes like this:

CHORUS:
You're a bloody rotten audience, whilst I am very good.
If brains were made of oak and ash, then you'd have balsa wood.
I'm ethnic and authentic, and I'm really full of class.
You're ignorant, you're cultureless, you're Philistines en masse.

Another good place to look for parodies is from the pen of Ian Robb. His e-mail is [e-mail]

No one seems to have mentioned "The Folk Musician" (Tune: "The Boxer") I believe it was written by Fred Wedlock.

I am a folk musician and my songs are seldom sold
For I massacre folk music with three feet of Spanish chipboard and a capo.
I do requests--but just those with only two chords; I disregard the rest,
But with Dylan's luck, some day I'll be the best.

Seeking free beer and expenses, I come looking for a gig, but I get no offers;
Just a come on from a groupy here in (INSERT NAME).
I do declare! I've had trouble with my sex life since I fell and broke my wrist.
Hey, my other songs are just as good as this.

Lye lye lye...etc.

I left my home with a repertoire of my all-time favourite songs
And a music stand with a neon sign that says "Let's sing along, I'm doing favourites!"
Bending low--playing Weaver hits for quarters to a reggae dance tempo,
Looking for the chords I guess I'll never know.

Lye lye lye...etc.

And when I sing traditional, I stick my finger in my ear
Because half the songs I sing, I just can't stand to hear--but I'm an artist.
Bar after bar, to the rhythm of a Chrysler-one-string-out-of-tune-guitar,
Lye, lye, lye, lye lye lye lye.

Lye lye lye...etc.


In (INSERT PLACE NAME), I clean forgot the forty second verse,
So I sang the twenty seventh TWICE AS LOUD and in reverse--and no one noticed!
I stood and bowed. I took a long look at my wrist watch; took a survey of the crowd--
Thank God! They never listen! But they still say it's too loud.

Lye lye lye...etc.


I stand here on the stage--a folkie by my trade,
And I carry the reminders of ever gig I've played
Like last thursday at the Legion when I fled in mortal fear
With the imprint of a Guinness bottle stamped upon my ear
And a crowd that yelled "DON'T PLAY THAT STUFF ROUND HERE!"

Lye lye lye...etc.


have fun!

Moira

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Aug 97 - 11:13 AM

Why have I neglected so long to mention my good friend David Diamond, an expatriot Englishman who has been singing songs and writing parodies for our pleasure for about 20 years now.
If you want a rousing batch of parodies,(mostly to familar tunes) just do a search on [David Diamond] in the database!!Several of them are in the genius catagory.

(Ok Dave, I did it, send the six-pack) *just kidding*

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Barry Finn
Date: 24 Aug 97 - 11:27 AM

Moira, That came to me by way of Jan Green, from Rick Avery, I think written by Tony Rose. But I'm dealing with an fragmented memory. Barry

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From:
Date: 24 Aug 97 - 01:04 PM

You're welcome, Peter T. "Libyan on a Jet Plane" caught my eye as well.

Moira— "The Folk Musician" is a rare piece of genius. Thank you!

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alice
Date: 24 Aug 97 - 03:13 PM

Moira... loved "The Folk Musician". Alice

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: alison
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 12:48 AM

Hi

There are a couple of different versions of "the folkie" in the database, or search the thread from a few months back.

Slainte

Alison

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 03:06 AM

I owe you for the Four Questions, Rechal. Here's the song your requested:

SHIT I'VE FORGOTTEN THE WORDS, songwriter unknown, recorded in 1995 by Hamish Imlach on "More and Merrier."

My heart is pounding within my breast
I know the first line, forgot all the rest
A memory like mine is a hell of a pest
Shit I've forgotten the words.

CHORUS

On a packet of fags I'd written them down
Threw them away as I drove into town
Now I feel a bit of a clown
'Cos shit I've forgotten the words.

2. The last time I sang them they went down a treat
Dogs were a-howling out on the street
And I spilt my beer all over my feet
'Cos shit I've forgotten the words.
CHORUS

3. Sometimes they come back line by line as I sing
Tonight I can't seem to remember a thing
Ian McCalman will know I'll give him a ring
Oh, shit' I've forgotten his number
CHORUS

4. So, come all you singers and practice your verse
If you do not you surely will curse
But I remembered the tune so it could have been worse
CHORUS

Oh, and the CD booklet graciously gives a translation for "fags" and explains it means "cigarettes."

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From:
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 03:12 AM

Shit, I forgot the last line

4. So, come all you singers and practice your verse
If you do not you surely will curse
But I remembered the tune so it could have been worse
Next time I'll remember the words.

CHORUS

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Wolfgang
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 05:30 AM

The tracklist of "Murdered Ballads" (Hamish Imlach)

Cornflakes, sugar, teardrops
Bluebird
Baldheaded Woman
People upstairs
Coulter's Candy
Daddy what if
Tableau at twilight
Jenny Jenkins
The Whale
The mermaid
The Rabbit
Travelling rhythm
Murdered Ballad
The Lion
The Night Sound
That terrible, terrible Night

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 10:32 AM

Click here for another parody

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Jack
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 04:39 PM

Here's one of my own

PRESSURE IS DOUBLE
(sung to DARK AS A DUNGEON by Merle Travis)

Lyrics Copyrighted - John A. Jesberger

Come all you young women, so fair and so fine
And seek not your fortune in the clerical line
It will darken your soul, it will soften your mind
It's a lifetime of boredom in the clerical line

(Chorus)
Where the pressure is double, the raises are few
And whenever there's trouble, the blame falls on you
Where the flourescents hum, and the laserjets whine
It's a lifetime of boredom in the clerical line.

There is no greater headache for any to find
Than to work for a boss that can't make up their mind
You will pound out the redrafts and reset the forms
And wish that the moron would leave you alone

(Chorus)

You will stand all the pressure as long as you're able
But eventually you will become unstable
It's a mind-numbing hell, full of sorrow and strife
Where the fumes of the White-Out can blind you for life

Alternate last two lines
You'll get asked to get coffee one too many times
Then you'll strangle your boss with the packaging twine

(chorus)

Best Regards

Jack

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Jack
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 04:51 PM

BTW

Someone mentioned parodies of The Wedding Song (There is love) way back during the "folk songs to ditch" thread. I particularly detest this song (just a personal opinion), and would appreciate the lyrics to a good spoof of it.

Thanks

Jack

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Catfeet
Date: 26 Aug 97 - 02:21 PM

Here's my two cents, and btw, a song from the deep, dark, dank, depths of my heart. We always sang it in the worst possible accent to people we KNEW were from NJ, so sorry Dick & Susan, but here goes it any way. It's sung to the tune of The Rolling Hills of New Jersey and is called The Rolling Mills of New Jersey.

Chorus: When I die bury me low,/ Where I can hear da petroleum flow/ Da sweetest sound I ever did know,/ Da rolling mills of New Jersey/

In Hoboken, dere is a Bar/ Where da bums come from near and far/ Dey come by truck, dey come by car/ De lousy bums of New Jersey/

Chorus

Down in Trenton dere will be/ Trash as far as the eye can see/ Enough for you, enough for me/ Da garbage pails of New Jersey/

Chorus

When first I started to roam/ I traveled far away from Bayonne/ Den I sat down and wrote dis poem/ I wrote an ode to New Jersey/

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Bert
Date: 26 Aug 97 - 04:13 PM

Ok, let me toot my own horn a bit here.

Silicone Cindy

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: catwoman
Date: 26 Aug 97 - 04:40 PM

Here's part of another Barney song

I love you. You love me. Barney gave me HIV. With a hug and a kiss and a little bit more, I got AIDS from a dinosaur.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Barry Finn
Date: 26 Aug 97 - 07:23 PM

Catfeet, That's "Rolling Hills of the Boarder", great song, forgot about then great parody. Barry

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Catfeet
Date: 26 Aug 97 - 08:47 PM

Thanks Barry, I got it in the most folkie way possible, by word of mouth, so it well could have been mangled in the transmission.

Catfeet

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Barry Finn
Date: 26 Aug 97 - 09:02 PM

Catfeet, check it out in the DT under "The Rolling Hills Of The Border", another gem from Matt McGinn. Barry

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Whippoorwill
Date: 28 Aug 97 - 11:39 AM

Here's one we used to do on a Toby show. It's to the tune of "Till We Meet Again," complete with verse.

Our old hen hatched out some little ducks;
She thought they were all her own.
But when the rooster arrived,
He was very much surprised,
And exclaimed in an angry tone:

Madam, you've been deceiving me.
What I see leaves me in a mystery.
You've played me false, you've been untrue;
I'll sigh, I'll cry, I'll be so blue.
Those ducks you've hatched do not belong to me;
You have mixed with the Web-foot family.
So go your way, and sin no more,
Till we meet again.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alice
Date: 29 Aug 97 - 01:50 AM

Reminds me of the Irish song "Rockin' the Cradle"... the man left at home while his wife goes out to the dance, and he sings that he's rockin' the cradle, but the baby's not his own.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alice
Date: 29 Aug 97 - 01:51 AM

Sorry... the above post isn't really about a parody.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Aug 97 - 03:21 AM

Well, maybe the song isn't a parody, Alice, but it sounds interesting. don't get inhibited. We're friendly here - mostly....
Better yet, post the lyrics in a new thread, and we all will be very pleased with you.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 29 Aug 97 - 03:51 AM

Alice,
The Aussie version of "Rockin' the Cradle" is called "The Wee One" & is about a young man from the town of Kiandra (NSW). Search the DT database for the misspelt Ciandra. Until recently I thought it was an original Aussie song, but then a lot of our songs have Irish origins.

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Shula
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 03:04 AM

Okee-dokee, fellow thrill-seekers, new quest. (Hope this is the right thread for it.)

The chorus of this gleefully puerile ditty is all I know. I checked the database, and several folk and country sites before posting here. Tried title variants, as well. Since I remember the brief flurry of popularity the song enjoyed some time back, on mainstream radio, I hope someone can direct me to a source of the complete lyrics.

(Chorus:) Does yer chew'n' gum lose is flavour on the bedpost overnight? If yer mother says don't chew it, do ya swallow it in spite? Can you catch it on yer tonsils, 'n' heave it left 'n'right? Does yer chew'n' gum lose is flavour on the bedpost overnight?

More?

(The edification of some Small Persons of the Scouting Persuasion is involved, so if this posting comes up empty, maybe I'll try it on the scout songs thread.)

Thanks for the bother!

Shula

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 03:16 AM

Now, Shula, far be it from ME to be a smart aleck, but did it occur to you to search for your song in the Digital Tradition? Well, you probably wouldn't find it without a hint: search under "spearmint." The song was written Way Back When by Billy Rose, but somebody changed "spearmint" to "chewing gum" in the song when it was recorded in the 1960's.
Two questions for anybody:
1. Who made a hit of this song in the 1960's? The database says the Irish Rovers recorded it, but I'm sure theirs wasn't the hit recording.
2. Wasn't billy rose married to somebody famous? Who was she?

3. For that matter, can somebody post the lyrics as we heard them in the 60's?
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Barry
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 11:41 AM

Probaly Lonnie D. but I'd check a rock & roll site for this type of question. Barry

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Bert
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 11:41 AM

Lonnie Donnegan had a hit with "chewing gum" in England. I think it was in the late Fifties.

Bert.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Shula
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 11:50 AM

Dear Joe Offer,

Much obliged, and, mais d'accord, humbled, yet again. After my recent failures of scholarship, pretty much expected there'd be some version, encoded and enshrined in the Great & Wonderful D.T. Database.

But then, why have such a formidable truncheon if you can't beat ignoramuses like me about the head with it?! You Oxford & Cambridge folkies get some "esoteric-er-than-thou" jollies, and we benighted peasants get to sing some truly cool stuff --seems a right sort of bargain to me.

So, if nobody much minds, I'll just keep the dunce stool, unless I'm really feelin' ragged, in which case, I'll forward my muddle-headed queries through my friend, Mme. A. Mous, ("Nony", when at home).

Oh yes, and while we're on about this hallowed example of papyric-phonic folk-art,: derivative though they be, I'd fancy the later lyrics m'self, if someone's got 'em just lyin' about. Thanks again, and my scouting friends salute you.

Shula

P. S. Mr. Rose was the second husband of the famous vaudeville comedienne, Fanny Brice (real surname, Borach)...A musical version of this relationship was widely popularised by Barbra Streisand in the film, "Funny Lady", sequel to "Funny Girl." James Caan, you may recall, provided the rather romanticised Hollywood version of Rose. Nice of you to give me a chance to redeem myself a bit!

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Martin Ryan
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 12:02 PM

Have you seen the parody of "Green Fields of France" in the DT? A great favourite of mine

Regards

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Earl
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 12:11 PM

"Does Your Chewing Gum Lose it's Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?" was recorded in the early 60's by Lonnie Donnegan. Think it was his only American hit. At the time, my mother rememberd it as "spearmint." I think Donnegan changed it.

Here's the song as I remember it (relying on the database version where memory fails)

Oh me, oh my, oh you; Whatever shall I do?
Hallelujah, the question is peculiar
I'd give a lot of dough
If only I could know
The answer to my question is it yes or is it no

CHORUS: Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?
If your mother says don't chew it do you swallow it in spite?
Can you catch it on your tonsils and heave it left and right
Does the chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?

Here comes the blushing bride; the groom is by herside
Up to the altar, it's steady as Gibraltar
The groom has got the ring; and it's such a pretty thing
As he slips it on her finger the choir begins to sing

chorus

The nation rose as one, and sent its fav'rite son
Up to the White House, the nation's only lighthouse
To see the President; he said that "I've been sent
To solve the burning question that involves the continent."
(If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?)

chorus

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Bert
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 12:21 PM

Great Earl, I'd forgotten that "tin whistle" line.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Shula
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 12:53 PM

Thank you kindly, Earl. The small scouts should be more than satisfied.

Shula

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 02:48 AM

I wasn't trying to put you down, Shula. I got caught on the very same song a while back, because I was looking under "chewing." Here's an interesting URL that's very applicable to this thread:
http://copper.ucs.indiana.edu/~jbmorris/
It's the Dr. Demento lyrics site. What's there is good, but many gems are missing. I checked the UW Parkside lyrics database and the International Lyrics Server, and what I came up with was an copy of the Digital Tradition transcription of the "spearmint" version of the song. I think Lonnie Donnegan changed more of the song than just adding the tin whistle line. Anybody know anything more about Lonnie's version?
And I certainly wouldn't refer to Lonnie Donnegan as rock 'n roll. Perhaps one would refer to him in Peter, Paul and Mary's words as a "nasty, unscrupulous modifier of folk songs." Of course, one could refer to PP&M that way, too....Harumpf.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 04:47 AM

As I remember it Lonnie Donnegan's style was known as skiffle and had a profound influence on later British groups such as the Beatles.

A couple of lines in the chewy song I remember differently:-

Up to the altar, just as steady as Gibraltar

Up to the President; to voice their discontent Upon the burning question what 'as swept this continent.

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Bert
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 08:34 AM

"nasty, unscrupulous modifier of folk songs." Hrrmph! a lovely phrase but not strictly fair.

Actually what Lonnie Donnegan did (aside from making a lot of money) was to introduce a whole generation of Brits to the joys of American Folk Music. Which is more than you can say for P P & M, or the Lesser Lomax for that matter.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Earl
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 09:17 AM

Alan of A had the line I couldn't remember. Since this is not really a folk song, and Lonnie Donnegan didn't change it all that much, I think he should be praised for pulling it out of the scrap heap and saving it for us.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 09:20 AM

Whoops, a <BR> turned into a <B>. This should fix it.

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: rechal
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 02:28 PM

In One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, the book by Ken Kesey, the guy that Jack Nicholson played in the film version sings this song to the Indian. I seem to remember the chorus going like this:

Does your spearmint lose its flavor

On the bedpost overnight?

If you leave it there 'til morning

Will it be too hard to bite?

Can you catch it on your tonsils

Can you heave it left and right?

Does your spearmint lose its flavor

On the bedpost overnight?

The version I remember hearing on the Dr. Demento show referred to chewing gum, and had a few "call-back" verses after the final chorus:

(Chorus)

A dollar is a dollar and a dime is a dime

I'd sing another chorus but I 'aven't got the time!

That's the only one I remember.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Earl
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 05:18 PM

The other one was somthing like:

I love you and I need you and I want to hold you tight
Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday,Thursday,Friday,Sat'day night

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 04 Sep 97 - 03:08 AM

THATwas the line I was trying to remember, Earl! As I recall, you sing the chorus at the end, up to "on the bed-post o-ver-..." and then go into "a dollar is a dollar, etc." then you go back to "on the bed-post o-ver-..." and do "I love you and I need you, etc." And then you come to a big finish. I did it in our church choir concert a few years back. Big hit.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Shula
Date: 04 Sep 97 - 04:23 AM

Lordy, y'all. Ain't we done chaw'd all te joos outten this 'ere wad'git! Un t' thank I'uz te one wat stot id awl!

Have jus' uh iddy-biddy leddle ol' themble uh MERcy, fer te lan' SAKE! Git on off witcha!

Bye,now

Shula

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 04 Sep 97 - 04:41 AM

Take the gum out of your mouth when you're talking, willya, Shula? I can't quite understand you.....
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 04 Sep 97 - 05:23 AM

Joe,
If you have trouble with Shula's accent what about a poor old Aussie?

I hope you remembered the words in your church choir concert!

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Shula
Date: 04 Sep 97 - 05:58 AM

Well, tarnation, fellers! A pore ol' gal jes' cain't hav'a lick'a fun no-how!

Happy trails,

Shula

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Shula
Date: 04 Sep 97 - 08:12 PM

Would like directions to any lyrics from "Forbidden Hollywood" or "Forbidden Broadway," by Gerard Allessandrini. Know these aren't "folk," but they are parodies. If this query doesn't belong in this forum, but someone knows where to find said lyrics, please send info. to my personal page.

Thanks ever so,

Shula

Subject: Lyr Add: THE DRUNK DRIVER (parody of 'Wild Rover')
From: Martin Ryan
Date: 05 Sep 97 - 06:48 AM

The Gardai/Guards are the Irish Police. One of their number just send me this version of "The Wild Rover":
(Hope the formatting works!):

THE DRUNK DRIVER

I've been a drunk driver for many's the year.
And I've spent all me money on whiskey 'n' beer,
But now the law's changed, boys. They've made life a drag
By giving the Gardai the use of the bag.

Chorus...

There once was a time, boys, when life was so good
That a driver could drink all the porter he could,
But now the law's changed, boys, so drivers beware.
Don't drive out yer car if yer tanked up on beer.

Chorus...

One night I was going away home from here
After drinking the most of a barrel of beer.
The eyesight was bad, 'cos the next thing I saw
Was a bloody great Escort, belonged to the Law.

Chorus...

They stopped me and asked me a question or two,
And they said that they thought I was after a few.
I said, "Ah, no, Sergeant, that cannot be so."
But he gave me the bag and he asked me to blow.

Chorus...

Well, I looked at the bag. Sure 'twas like a balloon.
"Here's a bag-pipes," says he. "Won't ye play us a tune?"
I blew in the bag, and sure, what do ye think?
Them crystals they turned to a queer shade of pink!

Chorus...

We went off to the station, a blood sample to get.
There wasn't a doctor so they sent for a Vet.
He couldn't be found, sure, and what could I do?
But to give 'em a sample of me how-do-ye-do!

Chorus

They threw me inside of a cell for the night,
And they let me go home when it came to daylight.
And now I am waiting for me case to come forth,
When I meet face to face with the judge in his Court.

CHORUS: And it's no nay never, no nay never no more
Will I drive a Range Rover, no never no more!

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: DrWord
Date: 05 Sep 97 - 02:43 PM

Lonnie's one other hit (here in Canada) besides "Chewing Gum" was "My Old Man's a Dustman" with several Cockney expressions. :) Dennis

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: GerryM
Date: 02 Sep 20 - 05:04 AM

Way upthread, at 19 Aug 97 - 06:46 PM, Barry Finn posted a parody of And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda, but couldn't remember who wrote the parody. It was Tony Miles, who also wrote Bloody Rotten Audience, which Eric Bogle recorded.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe_F
Date: 02 Sep 20 - 06:47 PM

I first heard "Does Your Chewing-Gum Lose Its Flavo[u]r" sung lustily by a whole train car full of Girl Guides in Britain in 1959.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 14 Jun 21 - 06:57 PM

Elizabeth Block pointed out the YouTube channel of Shirley Serban, which has some delicious parodies:

https://www.youtube.com/user/shirleybnz

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: John C. Bunnell
Date: 14 Jun 21 - 08:18 PM

As long as this thread has come back to life, it may be a good moment to resurrect one or two sets of lyrics from my personal files (one of these years I will arm-wrestle my Web site into sufficient shape to put the whole archive up again, but today is not that day).

So.

The following was written in 2008, under pretty much the exact circumstances described in the opening verse.

THE ELLIPSE

words: John C. Bunnell © 2008
music: Flanders & Swann (“The Gnu Song”)

A week ago last Friday I was surfing on the Net,
Browsing Craigslist, RSS, and sundry blogs,
When a journal crossed my radar filled with writings rather odd
Praising zombies, selkies, plagues, and mutant frogs.

Now it happened on that morning grammar was the thing discussed;
In specific, punctuation was the theme.
There was talk of semicolons and of commas brought to life,
And I read, and had a most peculiar dream:

I'm an ellipse, I'm an ellipse; I elide and I emote with silent lips;
I'm an ellipse; I work for tips; watch me subtly and slowly sway my hips;
I'm an ellipse; that's three small pips
   (or sometimes four when someone's running out of quips);
I'm that soft and pregnant pause betwixt the yawning and the jaws . . .
I'm enormous, I'm eternal, I'm an ellipse!

Rather later, I had thought I'd quite recovered from the shock
That I'd had when that ellipse burst into song,
So I called up someone's manuscript to read and then critique
For the literary group where I belong.

I was halfway through the chapter, marking busily away,
Making comments, striking commas, and the like,
When my eyes began to water, and the screen began to blur,
And a voice inside my head took up the mike . . .

I'm an ellipse, another ellipse, and I'm not easy to evict or to eclipse;
I'm an ellipse, and nothing slips
   between a breath and its release like . . . an ellipse;
I'm an ellipse, just three small pips,
   and I'm entrenched in movie quotes and comic strips;
For I have style and panache, and far more uses than the dash . . .

I am evocative, essential, I'm an ellipse!
I am evocative, essential, I'm an ellipse!
I am evocative, essential, I'm an ellipse!