BS: New threat - 'attack monkeys'

Subject: New threat - 'attack monkeys'
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 28 Sep 00 - 01:40 PM

Newest threat on the streets of Paris - "attack monkeys" - read all about it in the Guardian.

They'd better not go trying this in Hartlepool though...

Subject: RE: BS: New threat - 'attack monkeys'
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Sep 00 - 07:49 PM

Ooooh, bet they'll be in vogue for the Christmas shopping (sorry, used the C word, but my local superstore has already got it's paper and tinsel shelves stacked to the gunnels, and the festive basket of seasonal tampons and pantyliners can only be a few weeks away - as seen on 'Pond Life' tonight, sorry if you didn't see it.)

Don't they carry all sorts of nasty diseases like tetanus and rabies? And what about the apes??

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: New threat - 'attack monkeys'
From: kendall
Date: 28 Sep 00 - 07:50 PM

come on Liz, leave the republicans out of this. lol

Subject: RE: BS: New threat - 'attack monkeys'
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Sep 00 - 08:03 PM

Ya' know, for all the jokes I can see in making here, this situation is really tragic for all including the apes. What the hell is the matter with people anyway?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: New threat - 'attack monkeys'
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 28 Sep 00 - 08:03 PM

Shades of the Murders in the Rue Morgue - except for the telling details that apparently they wear nappies.

I think Rolf Harris should be called in to investigate.

These are the same fellas they have on the Rock of Gibraltar - but I've never heard that they get up to this kind of stuff.

Subject: RE: BS: New threat - 'attack monkeys'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 00 - 11:44 PM

I don't know about attack monkeys, but there was this damn gorilla over here last week, trying to get through the bedroom window at 3 AM. Mike Latter sent him, because I left a paltry few strange messages on his answering machine, because he's never around, and it bugs me. I said "What do you call Mike Latter when he goes skydiving, and the parachute won't open...?"

Answer: Mike Splatter

So he sends a gorilla. I had to get out the heavy artillery to stop that one. Attack monkeys, my eye!

"Do you 'ave a leesance for zis myinkee?"

Subject: RE: BS: New threat - 'attack monkeys'
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Sep 00 - 06:36 PM

Yes, Barbary apes are the one they have on Gibraltar and they are mean bastards. Those on the Rock have little or no fear of humans, thanks to various generations and nations of soldiers treating them as pets, and tourists treating them as photographic props. They will steal food from between your hand and your mouth, it must be decades since a piece of dropped food made it all the way to the ground. And they are not small, cute little things, they are bigger than cats, have 2inch long fangs that carry all manner of diseases and faces only a mother could love. There may be a comic aspect here, but they are scary buggers when seen close to, pushed in your face, I know what I'd be doing.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: New threat - 'attack monkeys'
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 29 Sep 00 - 06:53 PM

Here's a link to a site about the little darlings

"If you let them, the monkeys will be their captivating selves and show you aspects of their everyday lives...Adult Females are smaller than the males, they have unmistakable black/grey beards on their chins and sexual swellings on the rumps."

Subject: RE: BS: New threat - 'attack monkeys'
From: Hotspur
Date: 29 Sep 00 - 11:17 PM

How do these people who buy them in Africa get them into France? Don't they have quarantines or anything? The USDA (that's United States Department of Agriculture) has such strict regulations about any kind of living thing that you can't even bring an apple from a foreign country in your carry-on bag!