Subject: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: mousethief Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:01 PM These should be REAL advertisements you've seen or heard, not just ones we make up (that's a whole nother thread!). My first candidate, from a local glazier: Call the Glass Doctor, he'll fix your panes. I can hear this in my head with its sappy little tune. Augh!
Alex |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Mbo Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:09 PM Oh, we got some winners here.
For Mattress Plus: "Mattress Plus, you're gonna know, you can see the difference with your eyes closed." Then there's Jackson & Sons. Heating & Air Conditioning...they have like a 3 minute epic ode sung by a nonagenarian for there theme. It's so long I can't even remember it. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: jeffp Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:16 PM Beer? ...or Michelob? Personally, I'll take beer, thank you very much. jeffp |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Bert Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:17 PM In Bahrain there was a body shop with the sign "Car Denting". |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Mbo Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:30 PM Don't get me started on the weird stuff I saw in Japan! One sign says "Oishii Denki" which means in Japanese "Delicious Electric". It was for a store selling Aiwa stuff. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: DonMeixner Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:31 PM Bush's Funeral Home, The last guy in town you'll expect to let you down. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: GUEST,Liland (from a no-cookies-allowed library cm Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:38 PM For a well-known non-profit dedicated to fighting kidney disorders:
Esperanto hymnodist Christmas Carols in Esperanto |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: SINSULL Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:39 PM Topp's, the supermarket with people so you don't have to talk to yourself. Remember A&P's WEEEEOOOO campaign? Low prices - WEEEOOO. Great selection -WEEEEOOOO> I was in one shopping when a kid who worked in the fresh produce department pulled out a huge crawly, rotten potato and shouted WEEEEOOOO> Said it all. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: GUEST,Liland again Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:40 PM And inside a King County (i.e. Seattle) Metro bus, like most city buses devoid of seatbelts except for the driver... BUCKLE UP, AMERICA IT'S THE LAW! Liland |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: GUEST,Liland yet again Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:45 PM I wrote: And inside a King County (i.e. Seattle) Metro bus, like most city buses devoid of seatbelts except for the driver...
which is incorrect; seatbelts, or more properly chairbelts, are provided for riders in wheelchairs. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Mbo Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:46 PM Well, in Jacksonville we have a place called "Askew's Lumber". The name pretty much says it all... |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Mbo Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:51 PM Liland! I saw "Creap" while we were there! They still have it! |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Lepus Rex Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:51 PM Mbo reminded me of another matress store jingle from my area, from Matress Giant. The commercial has this big skinhead cartoon grinning and sliding across the screen, while a woman sings something like: "If you want that oooooooh-aaaaaahhh feel, come to Matress Giant!" It ends with the woman groaning orgasmically. I remember bits and pieces of bad cereal commercials from my childhood... Blank-eyed, goose-stepping, Smurfs, insistently chanting that "Smurfberry Crunch® is fun to eat!" ... The one for Pac Man Cereal® REALLY sucked, but I'm currently trying to block that one out... Blehhh... And the 'Menards' song. One of those stores where you buy tools and wood and patio doors. This frightening little gnome with a permanent smile/grimace excitedly telling us what's on sale, while corny banjo music plays in the background. This is layered between men and/or women singing about how you're going to 'Save big money, when you shop Menards!!!!!!!!... SAVE BIG MONEY AT MENAAAAAAAAARDS!!!!" Scary. ---Lepus Rex |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Bert Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:58 PM "Pornography Awareness Week" outside a church in Alabama. I had to look twice, at first I thought it was an adult book store. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Mbo Date: 29 Sep 00 - 04:58 PM Lepus, you're just cracking me up! When we lived in Augusta, Georgia, they had this place called "Carpet Country"..."Where we grow our owwwwwwwwn!" they had commercials with this haybale Beverly Hillbillies-esque family who grew large rolls of carpets on their farm. Their big line was "Aaaaaah heard THAY-UT!!" We also had Acme Pest Control, (really!) and in front of the office, had a station wagon painted with a military camaflauged paint scheme, and a big tank turred welded to the top, complete with 15-foot gun barrell.
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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Sorcha Date: 29 Sep 00 - 05:07 PM CREEP ALERT!! Lepus, how did you do the copyright symbol? I have looked and looked--I presume it is an ampersand code? Everytime I do the "view source" thing, it just shows as an R or c in a circle.......
Anyway----"Call Doug for a Clean Rug"--from my early childhood, 35 years ago. I cannot get rid of it! |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: SINSULL Date: 29 Sep 00 - 05:12 PM Bert, You went in twice looking for porno flicks, didn't you? The worst ever was "Crazy Eddie" " And that's the deal!" with arms up, sweaty armpits out, and a large beer belly beneath a SMALL T-SHIRT. oNE CHRISTMAS I SAT UP UNTIL 4am WRAPPING GIFTS WITH eDDIE AND ELVES SCREAMING AT ME EVERY 10 MINUTES. Damn Capslock! |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Metchosin Date: 29 Sep 00 - 05:15 PM Sign on a store on Vancouver Island: Eat Here Get Gas |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Mbo Date: 29 Sep 00 - 05:15 PM You guys are cracking me up! My sister is downstairs and must think I'm bonkers, singing loudy along with Oasis and laughing like mad in the middle! |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Wesley S Date: 29 Sep 00 - 05:55 PM NIXON - Now more than ever Just try to beat that one !! |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: katlaughing Date: 29 Sep 00 - 06:14 PM On a hearse sitting outside of a beauty parlour: "We'll curl up and dye for you!" Sorcha, there are codes. I don't have the sheet, so I learned by trial and error, but first you engage your numbers lock button; hold down the Alt key, and for © push in sequence the numbers 0169, while still holding down the alt key. I haven't figured out which one is the r in a circle, yet. If you just start pushing in code numbers, you'll figure out a bunch of them. There is a place here in town which posts funnies on their sign every week. This week it says "What do you call children of couch potatoes?
Tater Tots!! ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!
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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: GUEST,emily b Date: 29 Sep 00 - 06:20 PM Mrs. Baird's Bread - Bread Stays Whiter Longer! Not fresher, not better, no WHITER! Yikes! Don't want to think what it has in it. Now there's some bread for Doughboy Sam. See Song Challenge 40 if you don't understand and and need some great laughs. Emily |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: mousethief Date: 29 Sep 00 - 06:21 PM There was a trash collection company in Seattle --I'm not making this up-- whose trucks read "Satisfaction Guaranteed or Double Your Garbage Back!"
Alex |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Liz the Squeak Date: 29 Sep 00 - 06:23 PM A shop in Whitechapel High Street, London UK - Butts Wholesale.... And Snap on Tools have vans that go up and down the country. Didn't even know they snapped off!! LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Sorcha Date: 29 Sep 00 - 06:34 PM Liz--You have Snap-On over there?!! WOW! We have Snap-On, and both my guys have about a $2,000 bill--apiece! Just gotta keep buyin' them tools.........might be something you need Someday.......crapola on horseback. Woops, another one for the "Curious Expressions" thread. Just give me a hammer and a screwdriver (with vodka), that's all I need. Well, maybe a Skil-saw, too. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: katlaughing Date: 29 Sep 00 - 06:57 PM I knew a guy in Colorado with a sewer cleaning business. His pens had this slogan on them, "Your shit is our bread and butter!" I don't think he passed them out to just anyone. Sorcha, has their, ummm...performance improved with the upgrade in *tools*? i think that is what Liz was amazed at *snapping* on and off.**BG** |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: MarkS Date: 29 Sep 00 - 07:12 PM How about the General Motors blunder from a few years ago when they decided to market the Chevrolet Nova in Latin and South America. Sales were awful until somebody noticed that in Spanish, Nova works out to No va - which means, "it does not go!" Heckofa name for a car. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: bill\sables Date: 29 Sep 00 - 07:38 PM I once passed a church in Wolverhampton (England), it was about the time when there was a debate regarding supermarkets etc. opening on Sundays, anyway the sign outside the church read "Now Open On Sundays". One Monday morning while passing a high street in Yorkshire I noticed that drunken pranksters had stolen a sign board from outside a local church and fixed it to the front of the Yorkshire Bank it read "Jesus Saves" |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Dharmabum Date: 29 Sep 00 - 08:07 PM On the back of a plumbers van,"WE'LL PIPE YOUR POOP" I read an article on rejected slogans once. This is the only one I can remember. Carnation milk is the best in the land, Here I stand with a can in my hand, No tits to pull no hay to pitch, Just knock a hole in the sonofabitch. Ron. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: GUEST,Liland (from the church computer, hence gues Date: 29 Sep 00 - 09:15 PM RE: From: bert "Pornography Awareness Week" outside a church in Alabama. A Seattle church (Wallingford's "Gift of Grace ELCA") recently left the following on their readerboard for weeks on end. I don't know if it belongs in this thread, because I haven't a clue what it meant (perhaps because I'm Baptist, not Lutheran? ;-)... And that's all it said. Liland |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: MK Date: 29 Sep 00 - 09:21 PM Buckley's Mixture. (cough drops) "It tastes awful and it works." |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: GUEST,The Invisibla Blazoona Date: 29 Sep 00 - 09:25 PM Thre used to be a store in Oakland CA called, "Linoleum Dicks" without an apostrophe between the k and the s. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Bill D Date: 29 Sep 00 - 10:28 PM from a furniture store in Kansas.."Honest Values at Crooks" a jam/jelly maker in the USA.."With a name like Smucker's, it HAS to be good" there used to be this stupid TV commercial about hamburgers in the US where a little old lady would screech "Where's the BEEF?"....and soon after, a full page ad appeared in some newspapers with a huge picture of a bald guy named Perdue, who looked like a cross between Mr. Clean and Ross Perot...and who happened to run one of the largest *chicken* hatcheries in the US...and all the ad said was.."Who cares WHERE the beef is!" |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Melani Date: 29 Sep 00 - 10:33 PM My favorite Oakland, CA business was "George's Chinese-American Smorgasbord". I guess after a while George Lee, the owner, realized that was a little odd, so he changed it to "George's Chinese-American Hofbrau". Much better. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Harold W Date: 29 Sep 00 - 10:56 PM I saw this on a church bulliten board in Tularosa, "OUR GOD IS THE GREATEST." Does this imply that there is more than one God? |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Ely Date: 29 Sep 00 - 11:34 PM There is a sign on an old highway in western Arkansas, with a picture of the head of Jesus, wearing a crown of thorns, and the slogan, "This blood's for you." There also used to be a billboard in Denver, Colorado, of Jesus nailed to the cross, that said, "Denver, I love you this much." The worst ad I can think of was one for Jim Adler, the Tough Smart Lawyer (now known as the Texas Hammer), who's catch phrase was, "I'll go after every penny you deserve." My favorites were the Don't Mess With Texas ads, which were either really good or really bad depending on your sense of humor. The first was Willie Nelson sitting in the middle of the road singing, "Mamas, tell all your babies don't mess with Texas. Don't let 'em throw cans from those old pickup trucks, don't let 'em throw bottles and papers and stuff . . ." The other good one was a big, hairy biker gang grumbling about how "they're messing with our territory again." They all get on their Harleys and go charging down the highway . . . to a place where there's trash all over the road. The closing scene was a big, scary-looking guy holding a can on a pronged stick and saying, "Some people are such animals". |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Lonesome EJ Date: 29 Sep 00 - 11:54 PM "Crest has been shown to be an effective decay-preventive dentifrice when used in a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and regular professional care" 30 years after these commercials ran, I still have this phrase ingrained in my memory. What about the Plymouth Reliant? Who wants a car that's reliant? Wouldn't you prefer one that was reliable?What the hell was it reliant on?Constant service and frequent oil replenishment? Two of the worst marketing moves ever made: 1) In about 1979,Braniff Airlines ran an ad campaign making fun of plane crashes.Ads showed hysterical passengers being carried onto the plane wearing crash-helmets,pilots entering the plane with parachutes on their backs,etc.Concept apparently was "Hey! There are thousands of potential customers who don't fly because of their fear! Let's help them laugh at disaster!" 2)In 1970 Schlitz Beer was the third largest brand in America,when they decided to scrap the current recipe and introduce an entirely new-tasting Schlitz.A year later they tried to go back to the original formula in the face of mass consumer desertion.Two years later they were bankrupt. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall) Date: 30 Sep 00 - 02:32 AM A friend of mine owns a crane and does contract work, lifting stuff and doing other stuff one might expect a crane to do. His slogan: 'Get it up with Wayne's Crane" Rich |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: WyoWoman Date: 30 Sep 00 - 02:42 AM Saw an ad for a pawn shop, showing a pair of wedding rings on a tabletop: "Menlo Pawn ... turning bad memories into good money." I love that.
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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Naemanson Date: 30 Sep 00 - 05:10 AM We have a local company called Blow Brothers. They clean septic systems and provide portable johns for outdoor events. Their slogan is: "We're Number 1 in the Number 2 industry!" Speaking of jingles from TV here is one I've had stuck in my head for the last 35 years at least. Fortunately I like it. Here is the closing song for the Canadian TV show "Pig and Whistle" It's time, Gentlemen, please, It's time we were no longer here, Time, Gentlemen, please, It's time to drink up your beer, We've had a few stories some laughter and fun, We're all pals together til we say so long, we'll be back here next week so please come along, And it's time, Gentlemen, please. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: MarkS Date: 30 Sep 00 - 08:50 AM Hey Lonesome EJ The Schlitz fiasco comes in second only to "New Coke." Talk about violating the "If it aint broke, dont fix it." rule. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Peter T. Date: 30 Sep 00 - 04:28 PM Canadian company called Camel Hauling. Their slogan: "Humping our way across the nation". I was driving in a car with the Chairwoman of the Board of the company when one of her trucks passed by, and I broke out laughing. The elderly lady inquired as to why I was laughing, and within two weeks, they had taken the slogan off the vans across the country. I still wonder if I did the right thing!!! yours, Peter T. |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: GUEST,dharmabum Date: 30 Sep 00 - 06:50 PM Chevy Nova Award > > > > > ----------------- > > > > > These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award. This is > > > > > given out in honor of the GM's fiasco in trying to market > > > > > this car in Central and South America. "No va" means, of > > > > > course, in Spanish, "it doesn't go". > > > > > > > > > > 1. The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign > > > > > "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. > > > > > It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation > > > > > read "Are you lactating?" > > > > > > > > > > 2. Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where > > > > > it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea." > > > > > > > > > > 3. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the > > > > > following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an > > > > > Electrolux." > > > > > > > > > > 4. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into > > > > > Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not > > > > > too many people had use for the "Manure Stick." > > > > > > > > > > 5. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used > > > > > the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the > > > > > label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely > > > > > put pictures on the labels of what's inside, since many people > > > > > can't read. > > > > > > > > > > 6. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the > > > > > name of a notorious porno magazine. > > > > > > > > > > 7. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the > > > > > Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I > > > > > saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" > > > > > (la papa). > > > > > > > > > > 8. Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated > > > > > into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in > > > > > Chinese. > > > > > > > > > > 9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela", > > > > > meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with > > > > > wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 > > > > > characters to find a phonetic equivalent "kokou kole", > > > > > translating into "happiness in the mouth." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > 10. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to > > > > > make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it > > > > > takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate." > > > > > > > > > > 11. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its > > > > > ads were supposed to have read, "It won't leak in your pocket > > > > > and embarrass you." > > > > > The company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) > > > > > meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your > > > > > pocket and make you pregnant!" > > > > > > > > > > 12. When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new > > > > > leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated > > > > > its "Fly In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly > > > > > Naked" (vuela en cuero) in Spanish! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Ron > > > > > > |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: sophocleese Date: 30 Sep 00 - 07:01 PM A local towing company tells us "We don't want an arm and a leg, just your tows!" One that I remember Arthur Black saying on his show about a blasting company that said "We don't stand behind our work, we stand behind a tree!" |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Liz the Squeak Date: 01 Oct 00 - 04:53 AM Blossom and Bloom, a once large dry cleaning firm, have an outlet nearby which has a lovely art deco (1920's-1930's) clock on the top. Around the clock is the legend "Don't kill your wife, let us do it for you"..... If you really want, I can supply a picture......! LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Crazy Eddie Date: 01 Oct 00 - 08:33 AM MACS Restaurant, Dubai, UAE "You'll never forget the finger-biting taste" And as far as marketing disasters go, anyone remember "Guinness Light" from about 20 years ago? |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Peter K (Fionn) Date: 01 Oct 00 - 09:10 AM Sorcha, not only Snap-On, but King Dick too. I guess there are tools and tools. For years Anadin had "Nothing works faster than Anadin," - yet they're still in business! |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Rana Date: 01 Oct 00 - 09:12 AM Not an ad/jingle but name of a funeral home in Toronto (on Spadina between Harbord/Bloor) Wing On Funeral Home The name changed a few years ago but the one entrance still has Wing On Chapel above the door. Never knew whether it was a Chinese ownen funeral parlour and an unfortunate co-incidence, or whether the owner had a weird sense of humour. Rana |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: Troll Date: 01 Oct 00 - 09:45 AM A radiator repair shop with a sign that read,"The best place in town to take a leak!"
McDonalds, "You deserve a break today" campaign inspired this... troll |
Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle From: GUEST,Liland Date: 01 Oct 00 - 10:07 PM Sorcha: In addition to the hold-down-alt way (mentioned by kat/katlaughing) of making copyright and trademark symbols (and many others), depending on the encoding it's set for most browsers nowadays will show you a copyright symbol if you type either ampersand-"copy"-semicolon or ampersand-tictactoe-169-semicolon (omit any hyphens and/or quotation marks when you actually do it), or a registered trademark circle R symbol if you type either ampersand-"reg"-semicolon or ampersand-tictactoe-174-semicolon. These will work with a Western Windows or Western ISO (e.g. Latin-One) encoding, or I think with Unicode UTF-8 encoding, anyway. Can't guarantee these will work for all encodings or all browsers, and I don't know what they look like on Macs, but I'm pretty sure they will work at least for the commoner US and Latin-Alphabet-European browsers and encodings on PCs. Lepus_Rex et al.: Bad cereal commercials? When I was a kid in Japan there was a chocolate-flavored-corn-flakes cereal called Choco Flakes, and their main commercial consisted of Twiggy (anybody remember Twiggy?) saying, with what seemed, to my childlike mind, utterly absurd Cockney-tryin'-to-sound-like-'er-Majesty-ish vowels, "Oh... Choco Flakes"; her vowels made it sound like it was spelled "Ehhhhhw, Chehw-kehw Flex". Kat/katlaughing: Did you see my recent posts in your Acres of Clams thread? Including Stan's Geoduck Page (where you can see just how much like a certain part of a very large horse they look like)? Liland Esperanto hymnodist |