Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics

Subject: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From:
Date: 10 Sep 97 - 06:15 PM

Don't deny it. You know these tunes; they get the feet t' tappin,' or the tears t' flowin' or the heart t' throb fer joy. BUT YOU NEVER SING THEM, (at least not in public), because the words are just, well, hopeless. The reasons for banishment from the repertoire are legion, but the following list includes some of the more obvious explanations. These songs get dragged to the recycle bin because they are:

1. not P.C.
2. too P.C.
3. cliché ridden.
4. too obscure.
5. DTD (done to death).
6. saccharine.
7. shallow.
8. jingoistic
9. chauvinistic
10. too prissy.
11. too bawdy (well, maybe not).
12. just plain boring.

But the TUNES, at least, should be salvageable. T'was all very well to have a thread on the Songs to Ditch. How about a running list of melodies worth REHABILITATING? Then, those who wish , may try installing an upgrade, (not necessarily a parody). Or if someone knows (better, we hope) alternate lyrics already extant, they can share them. If we get any good recombinant DTA's (DIGITAL TRADITIONS ADDITIONS), we'll have "new" stuff that's instantaneously available for sharing. If not, we'll have fun messin' around, secure in the knowledge that we are following the time-honored tradition of folkies everywhere: never letting a perfectly good tune go to waste, just because it happens to be written by someone else.

I offer the following (feel free to speculate on the reasons) as a few samples of works overdue for a facelift:

1. Around Her Hair She Wore A Yellow Ribbon
2. The Riddle Song
3. Drink To Me Only With Thine Eyes
4. Sweet Betsy From Pike
5. Home On The Range
6. The Happy Wanderer
7. That's What You Get For Lovin' Me
8. Sleep, Kentucky Babe
9. When Irish Eyes Are Smiling
10. Go Tell Aunt Rhody
11. Carry Me Back To Old Virginny
12. All The Pretty Horses

Like the tunes; don't like or have wearied of the lyrics. Yes, I know there are already lots of send-ups of these songs. What's wanted here is real songs, which are a good deal more difficult to turn out than parody. Any takers? Any additions to the starter list?

Shula

Subject: Lyr Add: CLONE OF MY OWN (parody by Isaac Asimov)
From: Bert
Date: 11 Sep 97 - 11:19 AM

Regarding #5 above, I have heard that this was written by Isaac Asimov.

(Sung to the tune of HOME ON THE RANGE)

Oh, give me a clone
Of my own flesh and bone
With the Y chromosome changed to X
And when she is grown,
My very own clone,
We'll be of the opposite sex.

CHORUS: Clone, clone of my own,
With the Y chromosome changed to X.
And when we're alone,
Since her mind is my own,
She'll be thinking of nothing but sex.

I stole it from...

http://www.vegsource.com/wwwboard/humor/messages/1072.html

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 12-Apr-02.

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Shula
Date: 11 Sep 97 - 11:26 AM

Bert: Bloody, blinkin,' freakin' love it! Anyone want to replace more of the endless, dull verses to H.O.T.R.?

Shula

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Sep 97 - 02:44 PM

I about choked when I found this in the list of verses in the "Folksingers Wordbook" many years ago...I wonder who slipped it in!!

Oh give me a gale of the Solomon vale
Where the lifestreams with buoyancy flow;
On the banks of the Beaver, where seldom if ever,
Any poisonous herbage doth grow.

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Peter T.
Date: 11 Sep 97 - 04:36 PM

There is, alas, an anti-Catholic HOTR that I heard from a devout Irish catholic who whispered it very loudly to me on a bus in Rome many years ago:

Oh, Take me to Rome, the Catholic's home,
Where the Pope and the Cardinals play
Where the money goes clink, and the friars all drink
And the Lutherans hammer all day.

I await the Wurms turn.

Yours, Peter

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Jerry Friedman
Date: 11 Sep 97 - 06:08 PM

You little know your peril. What if the late great Walt Kelly had written "Home on the Range"?

Oh give me a pome
About Buffalo or Rome,
With a beer handy and a low play,
Where seldom misheard
Is this courage in word,
And these guys are not loud the old way.

Pome, pome I'll derange,
Where I'd hear randy Auntie Low play,
And sell them his herd
Of obscure raging words,
And disguise her knock loudly all day.

The verse of the "clone clone" version was by the sf writer Randall Garrett. Asimov used it in one of his science columns in and, I think, added the chorus. I remember the last line as "We will both think of nothing but sex," which fits the tune better.

Oddly enough, for some of your examples it's the tune I'm tired of, not the words. However, there was a country song to the tune of "The Riddle Song". It was called "The Twelfth of Never" (..."And thaaat's a long, long time.")

In one episode of , Radar sang to the tune of "Go Tell Aunt Rhody"

Bye low my baby (3x)
Bye low baby bye

Daddy still loves you, (3x)
Though he's gone to war.

Very moving, in context (though I liked the show a lot). There's another version with the end of the first verse being "Good-bye, my lover, good-bye" in triplets.

My #13 for your list would be the Londonderry Air, since I don't think any of the lyrics I know is worthy of it (and Princess Diana's funeral didn't change my mind). Maybe "Danny Boy" is my favorite, if you leave out the third verse that rhymes "Ireland" with "desire land".

On the other hand, I consider Ben Jonson's poem "To Celia" (beginning "Drink to me only") to be one of the best lyric poems in English.

(Wasn't the yellow ribbon around her neck?)

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Frank in the swamps
Date: 11 Sep 97 - 06:20 PM

After the Unabomber had been arrested, and the "Freemen" had their little snit, I heard some fellow on the t.v. sing about Montana as "Home, home of the strange."

Frank.

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Shula
Date: 11 Sep 97 - 09:17 PM

What about "Skip To My Lou" for # 14? We used to use this tune to play a singing game at the breakfast table when I was a child. The idea was that, keeping time as we went around the table, we each would make up a verse, the only requirements being that the lines at least partially rhymed and the subject be a breakfast food, preferably one we were actually having.

We would start together like this:

Gonna make breakfast, one, two, three;
Gonna make breakfast soon, you'll see;
Gonna make breakfast, yes-sir-ee!
What'll we have for breakfast?

Then we'd each do a verse in turn, trying not to break rhythm, and using verse one as a time-buying refrain. Samples:

Dad likes coffee, Mom takes tea;
There's fresh-squeezed juice in the frig, I see;
Cocoa would taste good to me;
That's what we have for breakfast.

Two in the toaster, one's for me;
Two in the toaster, won't make three;
Butter and jam to make it sweet;
That's what we have for breakfast.

Dad's (Mom's) makin' pancakes, smell so fine;
Two for you, the rest are mine;
Wish (s)he made them all the time;
That's what we have for breakfast.

Not as good as the original, but the desperate search for a rhyme often led to hilarity, since it was "no fair" singing a verse identical to one sung in recent memory. Guess I should have added this to songs to sing with children. Thought "Skip To My Lou" should be on the rehab. list.

Shula

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Shula
Date: 11 Sep 97 - 10:06 PM

OOPS! Meant to respond to some other folks.

Bert: First Vonnegut, now Asimov -- Drat! And just when I had thought of a neat response based on Asimov's potential attraction to a woman who would look life him.

Bill D.: Is that all there was?

Peter T.: 'squisite, 'pun my word! As for the verse, in cases of internecine strife, a nice Jewish girl doesn't "mix in."

Jerry F.: Peril, my patoot! Enjoyed every twisted line of it. (Yours?) Thanks for the corrected attribution; we wouldn't want to launch another Spam campaign. Recall "12'th of Never," -- Yuk! Surely you, or someone here, could do better, on a dare? Saw that episode of M.A.S.H.; the song was poignant in context. #13 -- good choice; almost included it; tired of it from recent discussion. Like Jonson right well, myself; on reflection, think the tune too treacly for the verse; ought, perhaps to be fitted with a lullabye. The yellow ribbon can be found variously positioned depending on the age and final degree of intimacy achieved in the version sung; don't care; want something less puerile and preppy to put to the snappy tune.

Frank I.T.S.: If we ask nicely, would you give over the rest? Thanks.

Gettin' good,

Shula

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Jerry Friedman
Date: 11 Sep 97 - 10:17 PM

Thanks for the comments, Shula, and sorry to all for the html mistakes in my previous response. HOW do you make italics? Anyway, Asimov's columns appeared in Fantasy and Science Fiction, and the show Radar sang the lullaby on was of course M*A*S*H.

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From:
Date: 11 Sep 97 - 10:26 PM

Oh. Um. Yes, that HOTR pome is mine own.

And the REAL point is that I learned "The Riddle Song" in childhood from my mother, so the lyrics I learned are the REAL ones, and I couldn't possibly write any others.

Hey, here's an idea! How 'bout some alternate lyrics to "Love Me Tender"?

(only joking)

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Shula
Date: 11 Sep 97 - 10:49 PM

Jerry: Considering who is writing this, why are you joking? Great tune, doesn't it already HAVE other lyrics, that antedate E.P. ? But you are merely plumbing my ignorance, I suppose?

(Born at night, but not last night,)

Shula

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Laoise
Date: 12 Sep 97 - 04:44 AM

Here's my pitiful offering.

To the tune of "Stormy Weather" (Not folk but anyway here goes)

Don't know why,
There's no buttons on my fly,
Got a zipper,
Me and my girl think it's quicker,
It's quicker with a zipper.

Here's another one you may find quite interesting:

Leprosy,
My God I've got Leprosy,
There goes my right ear
Into my soup dear...

Sounds a bit Tom Lehrer dontcha think? Unfortunately that's all I've got of either of these songs.

There are a number of Irish Folk songs I would like to change the lyrics to - DO YOU LOVE AN APPLE is one of them. I wonder why?

Here goes:

Before I got married I wore a black shawl
But now that I'm married I wear bugger all
I don't like him, why'd I marry him?
I'll be unhappy wherever we go.

He stands in the corner, a fag in his mouth
Two hands in his pockets he whistles me out
I'd love to hurt him, stick a knife in him,
I'll be so happy whenever he's gone.

Before I got married I'd sport and I'd play
But now, how that b#*$&£ard he gets in me way
Now I despise him, I can't stand him
I'm gonna stiff that man when I get home.

Some tea laced with cyanide might do the trick
The pleasure I'll get just from seeing him sick
Oh and Still I hate him, can't wait to get rid of him
I'll laugh as I watch that man decompose.

Do you love an Apple do you love a plum?
Did you shoot your man with a .47 gun?
Oh but now I love him, how much I'll miss him
As the worms rot his body, from his head to his toes.

Written by me in the last few minutes (bored of course). Could do with some amendments. I'm no feminist or misandrist (female mysogonist) but even I have noticed how Irish folk songs, supposedly taking the female viewpoint, are obviously sympathetic towards men. Strange in a country where women are so strong and outspoken, even in history (as far as I'm aware).

Perhaps this could lead to another thread "Feminism in Traditional Folk Music." Yeah, OK, maybe not.

Tcifidh me thu,

Laoise

HTML line breaks added in place of double spacing. --JoeClone, 12-Apr-02.

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Shula
Date: 12 Sep 97 - 08:00 AM

Jerry: Ah yes, now I recall – "Aura Lee". Would you believe we sang this at school when I was young -- UNTIL Mr. Presley co-opted it. Always liked the tune better than the words. In fact, though I am NOT a Presley fan I rather like the later lyrics, especially when sung quietly and simply, with minimal accompaniment. (Suppose that makes me one of "The Philistines," according to the DT notes on "Aura Lee.")

HOWEVER, this is certainly a candidate for the overhaul dept., since the tune is quite lovely, and affecting, and two sets of lyrics (Is there an even earlier set?) is hardly scratching the surface. A humble request: this thread is obviously spurring on the parodists among us, which will certainly do for Home On The Range, but, knowing how easy it is to mock that which is simple and sweet, could someone give this tune a chance as a love song or lullabye or expression of a genuinely sad or pensive mood? Do as you like with the others, but if this is to be #15 could we keep to its essentially gentle spirit?

Laoise: Has yer fella seen this? Has yer shrink seen this?! If these are the N.&I. lyrics, what must the old ones be like. (Yes, I looked in the DT. T'warnt ez bad as awl THAT!) Hide th' sharps, mates, she's got that LOOK aboot'er!

Have heard the leprosy song before, with more lyrics. Since it's not yet in the DT, maybe someone will share. For that matter, wouldn't mind the rest of the "zipper" no. either. Thanks, Laoise.

Shula

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Bert
Date: 12 Sep 97 - 08:57 AM

Thanks for the 'clone' updates guys.

Re: 'The Happy Wanderer', my opinion is that it is beyond hope. It is the tune that is so annoying. It sounds as though it came straight from the Eurovision Song Contest. I don't remember if it did or not though.

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Shula
Date: 12 Sep 97 - 09:08 AM

Wouldn't its annoying quality fit it for a send-up of some sort, Bert? It is so irritatingly upbeat. Give it a go , ya know ya wanna.

Shula

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Sep 97 - 10:01 AM

"Bill D.: Is that all there was? "

It had all the regular verses....and that one stuck in as though it belonged there....

(another approach,if you are tired of the tune for a song, is to switch...you'd be surprised how many songs can be sung to "The Marine's Hymn" or to "The Happy Wanderer".) (this works best late at night with a critical mass of good singers cross-fertilizing and trumping each other's contribution)

Which brings up another idea for a thread I've been meaning to start about new verses to old songs...so I think I will....

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Bert
Date: 12 Sep 97 - 11:11 AM

That reminds me. We used to sing "Nellie Dean" to the tune of "The Marine's Hymn"

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Peter T.
Date: 12 Sep 97 - 01:28 PM

Re; Happy Wanderer, there was a contribution from someone somewhere (I'm lazy) which has gone straight intoto my repertoire:

We love to go a wandering
Along the Zuyder Zee
And as we go, we laugh and throw
Our friends into the sea.

Aura Lee
Who can forget Allan Sherman's immortal:

If you have to take vaccine
Take it orally
For you know the other way
Is more painfully
Orally, etc!....

Yours, Peter

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Bert
Date: 12 Sep 97 - 04:01 PM

Shula,

NO!! I really don't WANNA.

I tell you what though I'll suggest it as an exercise for the songwriters group I belong to.

There's a Gal there who did a wonderful rewrite of "This Old Man" - all sad and bluesy.

On second thoughts though I guess that any modification could only improve it. Hmmm..... perhaps if we changed the words AND the tune

TTFN, Bert.

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Shula
Date: 14 Sep 97 - 12:32 PM

A'beggin' o' yer pardon, Bert; -- wadja b'lieve th' divil mad' me do't?

Thanks to all for contributions so far. How about a bit more grist for the mill (not ALL have objectionable words, some could use a new set, just for th' heckovit):

16. Bye' Baby Bunting
17. Comin' Thro' Th' Rye
18. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot
19. She's a Young Thing and Cannot Leave Her Mother
20. Way Down Upon The Swannee River
21. Do You Know The Muffin Man?
22. Three Blind Mice
23. Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party
24. The Mexican Hat Song
25. Paper of Pins
26. I Been Workin' On The Railroad
27. The Prettiest Girl
28. Ten Little Indians
29. Barbara Allen (any version)
30.(and so on...) additions, anyone?

C'mon guys, we can do better than this. Someone else, maybe someone with a different brand of "chestnuts", (e.g. Irish, Blues, Chanteys, Bluegrass, etc.), could volunteer a few to fling on the fire?

A couple of examples: The version of "The Housewife's Lament" in RUS, written to the tune of "The Streets of Laredo," is a good example of tune-recycling, by the way. Funny, well-written -- and true.

I hesitate even to mention this one, since it is the most wretched piece of man-hating obscenity I've ever seen, but the song does simply beg for it: a nasty little send-up of "That's What You Get For Lovin' Me" called, T.W.Y.G./ The Brainless Bimbo Groopy Chick Translation. I heard it once, and it was unforgettably vicious. So I figure it is either already in the DT under an assumed name, or someone has found a way to sing it in a sufficiently drunken mutter to make lyrical certitude impossible. I was hoping for a parody that didn't come on so mean and heavy; anybody got one?


Bill D.: Like your ideas. We do a similar thing. We have to sing the same song in Hebrew, every Friday night and Saturday, as part of the ritual Grace After The Meal. To relieve the boredom of using one of the three usual tunes every time, we have borrowed dozens of others. Any standard tune that includes triple arpeggios in the third line (LOTS!) will do, the more malapropos the source, the more fun.

Frank I.T.S.: "Home, Home of The Strange" -- Is there more than just the title?


Shula

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 14 Sep 97 - 11:59 PM

Leprosy predates Lehrer by a few decades: I don't know a coherent verstion, but fragments include: there goes my eyeball--into my highball There goes my lower lip---into the onion dip (and for those who were raised with Yinglish as a common tongue,) There goes my kishka---into the pishka.

If we can assemble a complete version, I'd be grateful.

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Bert
Date: 15 Sep 97 - 09:22 AM

Have you heard Cheryl Wheeler's "Potato Song" to the tune of Mexican Hat Dance? It's absolutely amazing just one word "Potato" over and over but the way she changes the phrasing is absolutely hilarious.

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Laoise
Date: 15 Sep 97 - 09:30 AM

Shula,

Aye, I guess those lyrics were a bit on the strong side! I was having a bad day - besides which, I wasn't thinking about my current man but a previous relationship! There are other versions of that song and they are a bit more derrogative, but I think I was talking in general about Irish songs and Women's viewpoint. Being written some centuries ago (?), they tend to make out that women are either feeble or false, buxom or frail, lots of stereo types - I dunno, do they still apply?

I'd love to hear more about Leprosy and Gotta Zipper if anyone knows them.

Slainte agus saol agat, (Cheers and to your health)

Laoise.

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Sep 97 - 12:41 PM

chewing on the word 'derrogative'....I don't think it's real....but I kinda like it.!!

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Bert
Date: 18 Sep 97 - 12:10 PM

Shula,

I mentioned Happy Wanderer at our songwriters group and one of the guys says that he has written a good parody that he would like to share with you.

If you would like his email address, email me at [e-mail]

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: Joe Offer
Date: 19 Sep 97 - 02:39 AM

Hey, Bert, the "Happy Wanderer" variation sounds interesting. Can you talk the songwriter into letting you post or e-mail it?
[e-mail]

Subject: Looking for Laoise
From: Felipa
Date: 01 Mar 04 - 04:11 PM

I want to get in touch with Laoise, who has written on this thread. I don't know whether or not she's still in Belfast, and she hasn't written at Mudcat for some time. So if anyone can help me make contact, please p-mail me.

I wonder did Joe ever get that parody of the happy wanderer. I must see if the unhappy wanderer version is on the cat (I hate to go a-wandering along the mountain track, with every step I take I know this pack will break my back. Miseree-miserah, etc)
--PS I found the Unhappy Wanderer in the DT, but I haven't found Laoise yet.

Subject: RE: Tunes ISO new/improved lyrics
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Jun 05 - 08:06 PM

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