BS: Extremely silly thing to do

Subject: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:20 AM

I set the computer running while I had a quick shower and thought it would save time to use my hair shampoo rather than shower gel. Now-tea tree and mint might have a very refreshing effect on your hatr but let this be a warning to others! Don't use it elsewhere!!!!!Lets leave it at that¬

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Brendy
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:26 AM

Life is for learning!

B.

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: sian, west wales
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:47 AM

While we're at it ...

Undoubtedly any chemistry set sold for children by any one manufacturer is child safe.

However, 2 chemistry sets, each from different manufacturers, while both child safe in isolation, are not necessarily child safe when combined by enquiring young minds.

Also, if you set your mother's curtains on fire (due to above) and no fire extinguisher is handy, spraying the fire with room freshener does not help.

sian

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:54 AM

Mixing henna with an egg or two and left on your hair for an hour is good, rinsing with hot water is not good - anyone know how to get scrambled eggs out of hair? If you are going for the greasy lank unwashed look, I thoroughly recommend using hand cream instead of hair conditioner.
Patrish

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:57 AM

lol Sian... very funny..

Me and a friend were actually band by our parents from coming home at school lunch time because of the various things we would do and then go wrong...

One was chip pan fire (though we knew about the tea towel thing) and the other was burning ourselves on mini chicken kievs... DON"T ASK....

Mrs Duck...

lol very funny - did you know that Tea Tree is a natural antiseptic?

Ella

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:08 AM

I'd like to know how they get away with selling kid's shower gel in the same type tubes as kid's tooth gel. 'Mummy, why are you washing me with toothpaste?' - like she expected that I had a reason!!!
Mrs Duck - do tell about the kievs. It's your duty as a good citizen to warn us of any unsuspected dangers.
Patrish - I had a similar problem with taking a shower with wedding rice in my hair! Also - vinegar rinse makes you hair lovely and shiny - but you end up smelling like a chip shop.
Sian - out of scientific interest, what happened next?
It's a fightening and dangerous world isn't it?

Kris

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 06:03 AM

And it never bodes well, when in the throes of passion, a gentleman reaches for the tube of lubricating jelly, in the dark, and applies suntan lotion, not realising it until his willy reaches the moistness of her twidgett, when they both feel as though they've literally caught fire! Quite an interesting time was had by all. *bg*

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 06:09 AM

I know of someone who confused KY with teething Gel!

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 06:11 AM

What I meant to go on and say was that the baby had very slippery gums and certain parts of other were numb for a while
Patrish

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 06:14 AM

Once way back when, my boyfriend was choppping some hot chili peppers for a spicy dish we were preparing. In the middle of chopping the peppers he had to take a pee but did not wash his hands first. Don't ask, it was off to the Emergency department to put out the fire.

Little Neo

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: mkebenn
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 06:22 AM

Neo, along the same lines, if you have dumped an inordinate ammount of cayanne pepper on your steak before grilling, it is unwise to try to blow it off...not good in the eyes...Mike Bennett

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 08:23 AM

Sian, that reminds me of school. When the teacher was talking, I used to enjoy mucking around tipping chemicals from our experiments from one test tube to another to see what colour they turned. All was fine until one day (I think we were doing esters at the time) I managed to mix conc sulphuric acid with sodium hydroxide. The test tube exploded and I spent the next 20 minutes having water poured on my face by a worried teacher. On reflection,I was extemely lucky that no damage was done!

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 08:26 AM

Ah yes...I've heard about those K-Y/Fiery Jack mixups...

mcmoo

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 08:47 AM

And if you get the K-Y jelly mixed up with the putty you all know what happens....
All together, now:
YOUR WINDOWS FALL OUT!!
RtS (old, forgotten and neglected jokes aired at reasonable charges)

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 08:57 AM

This is a true story

It was the morning after the night before
He rolled out of bed and hit the floor
Felt so poorly he reached for some pills
Hoping they'd cure his hangover ills
But the lid was childproof, too damn tight
He just could not shift it try as he might
So giving up he tried a different tack
And picked up a tube of fiery jack
Warms away aches and pains the label said
So he thought he'd try it and rubbed some on his head
Meanwhile nature called and he went to the loo
But he should have read further to know what to do
"Do not use on sensitive skin, wash hands after use
But he was in a hurry was his excuse
Now certain parts of the body are more sensitive you know
And what he was handling now suddenly started to glow
It didn't feel to bad at first and a smile came to his lips
But it soon disappeared when Fiery Jack got to grips
With a sudden realisation and mistaken belief
That rubbing harder would bring some relief
His problem got worse and started to grow
Cos Fiery Jacks comforting warmth increases blood flow
Then thinking quite logically as can happen with pain
He thought that cold water might ease the strain
So he turned on the tap and filled up the bin
But at such a sharp angle he could not get it in
So met with defeat and filling with dread
He had one more try standing on his head
This did the trick his manhood felt cooled
But Fiery Jacks strong, its effects overruled
The fire was out, but he still stood to attention
Oh how could he hide this trouser extension
He felt an idiot to have been so silly
To have cruelly mistreated his own precious willy
But the damage was done, he thought as he sat
At least I'll have somewhere to hang up me hat

love Patrish

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Trevor
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:08 AM

I had a close one the other day. Reaching for the Germoline for application to a sensitive bit and realising, only just in time, that I was about to smear myself with Immac!

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:20 AM

Reminds me of the couple (this must be an urban myth) who reached for the Vaseline and got Vicks Vaporub instead. Or who thought that because it had the same texture...

Bat Goddess

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:24 AM

We have a local columnist who told us about his friend, who when rushed before a big date, was putting mousse in his hair, only it wasn't mousse...it was Preparation H...

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:27 AM

Well, once I was not feeling very well so I drank some Kaopectate anti-acid medicine but after slugging it down out of the bottle I thought man this stuff tastes horrible. I looked at the label and it said Calamine Lotion for mosquito bites.

Little Neo

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: CamiSu
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:33 AM

After chopping Ginger, wash hands BEFORE doing anything involving sensitive skin. (My husband thought it would be fun. I DIDN'T)

Do not rub eyes or nose after chopping jalapenos.

Little Neo, I have a friend who did that as well! Ouch!!!

CamiSu

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:39 AM

My Dad had a similar experience...he loves to tell it! He had a cold, so his Mom told him to go in the kitchen and take some cough medicine. He found a bottle on the counter, and took a swig, thinking it was cough medicine. He said he immediately felt better. But his Mom could figure out why half her bottle of vanilla extract was gone...

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Troll
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:44 AM

I mithtook the Preparathion H for tooth pasthe. But only oneth!

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:47 AM

From what I remember cats go wild over the smell of Preparation H. I think it is made out of whale oil.

Matt, I wonder if your friend's date got turned on by the smell of his hair.


Little Neo

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:50 AM

I once rubbed the ol' eyeball after picking a hot pepper out of my Chinese food. Ow.

I had a bar of tea tree soap in the shower - they told me to get it to wash my tattoo the last time I went in for my abuse. ;) It's great soap so I was washing my face with it too. Well, once in awhile, I use Head & Shoulders when my head gets itchy. So one morning, I shampooed up with H&S, then washed my face with the tea tree soap.

Did anybody know that tea tree soap & Head & Shoulders make AMMONIA? Seriously. That's like the weirdest thing ever. I make sure now not to use those two products together. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:51 AM

CamiSu, I once had a very painful experience after chopping chillie peppers...

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:58 AM

Pepsi & garlic bread = olive oil vinagrette

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:59 AM

Jon, I once had a very painful experience after eating chilli peppers.........about 8 hours later
patrish

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:04 AM

Having been a hockey goalie, Absorbine Jr. was a mainstay for me. I found out the hard way not to use it for a groin injury.

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:07 AM

Ah yes, in Africa we used to say it wasn't really hot unless it burned twice. I remember as a teenager experimenting with BenGay (oooooh ow), and once visiting friends of a different race, I tried some hair goop that must be made for removing kinks from certain ethnic hair types - smelled wonderful but covered me with what felt for all the world like axle grease. I was in there for HOURS it seemed, soap did not remove it, it was awful. Still don't know what it was.... and once at the office somebody who thought I couldn't possibly like my food hotter than he did tried my Insanity Sauce (great stuff if you like eating lava) and was found later, literally weeping in the Men's room, in so much pain that he couldn't get back to work but too ashamed to run out to the machines and get some milk! That became the company joke and I was not allowed to bring hot sauces to lunch meetings any more.

Helpful hint - MILK is the antidote to capsiacins, the chemicals in hot stuff. Dairy is OK - yogurt and such - but milk is best.

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Morticia
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:08 AM

My mother once had an extremely expensive hairdo for a ball she going to. Her hair was waist length and the haridresser spent hours coiling it on top if her head.....So....my mum is all done up and ready to leave and thinks, just one more quick squirt of hairspray before we go, reaches out and applies a liberal helping of spray starch all over her hair.

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:25 AM

As Col. Bloodnok in the Goons ( of blessed memory) used to say:"I'll never have the curried eggs again" after a suitable sound-effect.
I did hear that yoghurt was good for curing thrush but the damn things kept flying away before I could get it on their feathers.
RtS ( a man among princes)

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:39 AM

Someone I knew used yogurt for sunburn, but instead of the plain kind used banana, the smell two hours later was rancid
I have sprayed hairspray on my underarms and deoderant on my hair - actually they both worked
Patrish

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:39 AM

Thinking of mishaps with food:

An accident happened to my brother Jim
When somebody threw a tomato at him
Tomatoes are juicy and don't hurt the skin,
But this one was specially packed in a tin."
--Anon.

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: annamill
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:58 AM

Kat, you reached for WHAT and got the Ben Gay??? (old joke)

Never start the engine while checking out the rocker arms.. it was me who suggested it and a friend who went out to try it. About 3 minutes later he came back in completely covered in oil... I laughed til I dropped...in fact, I'm still laughing.

Love, annamill

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bert
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 11:20 AM

The tricks you gals play on us guys when we're working on the car. I was carefully adding some oil one time, without a funnel of course, and Tree thought it would be a good idea to sound the horn. I jumped back, banged my head on the hood and got oil over everything. She was laughing so hard that I couldn't be mad at her (for long).

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 11:35 AM

The only trick like that I "played" one someone (creep alert - both the someone and this post!) was when my old college boyfriend decided to take me sailing on Squam Lake in NH - knowing that I didn't know the first thing about it and had never done it. Little teeny 2-person sailboat. So he gets in, I'm on the bank holding on, and waiting to hand him the centerboard (which for the totally ignorant, which I was at the time, is what allows the boat to go in the direction it's pointing, rather than in the direction the wind is blowing). He puts up the sail and asks me to hand him the centerboard - so I let go to give it to him... and off he blew across the lake with absolutely no way of steering! I still recall the look of fury (I'm cackling as I write this, we broke up years ago, he was a real jerk anyway) as he blew away... luckily he fetched up in some low-hanging trees about a mile away...

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 11:37 AM

Ouch Bert, that one happened to me when I worked as a forecourt attendant in about '78 when customer decided that was the way to attract my attention while I was checking the oil for her. Thinking of forecourt attendants, do they still exist anywhere?

As for cars, Mark, one of my brothers who worked as a mechanic for many years before he turned to landscape gardening (and incidentally was one of the best Citroen mechanics in this area - he still gets asked for help with the wierd suspension of a BX, etc.) wears his wedding ring on a chain round his neck and the ring has a bit missing. The reason for this is he managed to catch it on the starter solenoid and make contact with earth and the ring turned red before he was able to remove his hand- not a pleasant experience and one that taught him a reason to observe health and saftey rules like don't wear jewelry when working on cars.

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: annamill
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 12:27 PM

I wasn't planning a trick when I made the suggestion. It was an honest opinion. It you want to see which rocker arm is making that funny noise, take off the cover and start the engine.

Man, I can't stop laughing. He was COVERED!!

Thanks for that memory, guys. He was a jerk too!

Love, annamill

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 12:41 PM

I was in a new town and looking for work. The bus was almost due and realizing the wind was blowing I dashed into my friend's bathroom to give a quick hair spray. It smelled toxic. I grabbed the can again and looked. It was bug spray. I did not catch that bus.

Another time, many years later, I was having a problem with my back and took a long relaxing bath. When I got out of the tub, I rubbed Ben Gay, or some other product like that, into my lower back. Almost immediately I was dancing around, laughing and sobbing at the same time, trying to splash cold water on the area behind me but I couldn't hold still long enough to be effective. Ended up with little pearl blisters from that one.

Ebbie

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bert
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 12:47 PM

A likely story!!!!

Actually it reminds me of the time, years ago, when I was selling ice cream. The machine in my van had a lid that you lifted to add more mix. Then one day they changed vans on me and I got one with a machine that was pressurised. On this machine you had to release the pressure BEFORE you lifted the lid. Of course I forgot. But it's much more pleasant being covered from head to foot in ice cream than it would be in used motor oil.

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: annamill
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 12:52 PM

..AND much more fun to clean off!!!

;-)

L.A.

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 12:56 PM

Jon, that is TOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 01:37 PM

I once bought an aquarium with all kinds of pretty colored fish. When I got home from the store and put the filter together I realized I forgot to buy that white filter material that goes on top of the carbon section. I figured what the heck, cotton batten should do the job so I stuffed all these cottom puffs on top of the carbon section of the filter. The next day all my beautiful fish were dead.

Little Neo

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 01:49 PM

On a similar note to the yoghurt we once had a can of squirty cream!! I'll spare the details but next time we'll have a bath after because the smell of rancid cream kinda spoilt the effect!!

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: DougR
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 01:53 PM

kat, your story reminds me of a definition I heard many years ago for the word, pandimonium. When the old man, the old lady and the alarm clock all go off at the same time.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 02:01 PM

Jon, by "forecourt attendant" I take it you mean what I've come to know as an "apron man", or maybe "pump jockey". Right? Don't have too many of those here,either.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 02:13 PM

Anybody remember The Tall Blond Man With One Black Shoe? The spies had emptied his toothpaste and shaving cream tubes looking for spy stuff and gotten them back into the wrong tubes... poor guy comes home and tries to brush his teeth... then checks the tube - which says toothpaste - (still one of the funniest movies in moviedom)!

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 02:15 PM

"vinegar rinse makes you hair lovely and shiny - but you end up smelling like a chip shop."

And what's wrong with that?

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: annamill
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 02:17 PM

Mrrzy, I don't hink I've seen that one, but it kinda sounds like "The Man with One Shoe" with Tom Hanks. Same one possibly?

Love, annamill (still wanna write annap - cheez)

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ely
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:10 PM

I work a shift as a cook's assistant here in the college dining hall, and one of my jobs is to clean out the ice cream machine, wash the parts, and put it back together (it's one of those big machines that has three "spigots"--two flavors and twist). This involves flushing out the chambers with cold water, removing the front panel with the spigots on it, pulling out the mixing blades, and then reaching through to the back of the machine to pull out the pegs that turn the blades.

One day, after the machine had been worked on but still wasn't working properly (although nobody told me this), I went to clean it. When I started to take it apart, I found that the side that mixes the chocolate was still full of clotted mix. I had to scoop it out as best I could and then reach--full arm's length--through to get the peg. I felt like James Herriot with his arm in a cow and came out covered to the shoulder in stale ice-cream mix.