BS: Holiday Eating

Subject: Holiday Eating
From: mousethief
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 01:12 PM

By Craig Wilson, USA TODAY

I hate this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds. You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do's and don'ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say. Good grief. Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? I didn't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph. I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you'll be fat and happy. So what if you don't make it to New Year's? Your pants won't fit anymore, anyway.

1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, mate.

10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. Remember: Cookieless January is just around the corner.

-------------

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 01:24 PM

Amen. Amen. Amen.

What I tell you three times is TRUE

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 01:29 PM

Yum. Yum. Yum. Me too.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Clifton53
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 01:34 PM

Very good Mousethief, LOL at the 'Santa cookie' part and the mashed potato volcano. But I would add that no mashed 'tater volcano is complete without an artery clogging glob of butter positioned in the center and then add the gravy boat contents and watch the butter melt before you dig in. Also very important to follow the gravy at all times, making sure you know it's position on the table at any given moment, as well as how much is left inside.

Eggnog is great with Scotch, and I've had it that way a few times, but using Bacardi's 151 is almost an epiphanous event. And of course, the nog itself provides the stomach lining needed to ingest alcohol of such power, so you don't need to eat anything until dinnertime! Just a thought.

Enjoyed your list

Clifton53

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Bert
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 01:35 PM

Of course you must realise that the fruitcake warning only applies to AMERICAN fruitcake. If it's an English Christamas cake then eat all you can.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 01:38 PM

The american version of fruitcake is inedible. I have a piece in my car I use to hammer nails with. SWEAR! I can get people to vouch for that. It's about 14 years old at this point I think - maybe a bit older. Looks the same as the day I was given it.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 02:02 PM

Does it live in the glovebox that's lined with the melted Hershey bar Mario?

Bert, does this explain why you are more aceptable than I am? English Fruitcakes are OK, but American one's aren't? I sense some discrimination here............Come to think of it, where does that leave you as an Americanized English Fruitcake?

Spaw(:<))

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Bert
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 02:08 PM

I guess I'm not so tasty since I've been over here.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: GUEST,Melani
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 02:15 PM

I remember hearing about a family (American) who had a fruitcake made by Great-Aunt Lydia 110 years ago. They put it on the table every Christmas, but everyone's afraid to eat it. Although given the nature of fruitcake, it's probably just as edible now as it was 110 years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: MMario
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 02:26 PM

A Hershey bar never survives long enough in my possession to melt.

bert - was that "tasty"? or "Tasteful"?

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: kimmers
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 02:35 PM

Alex, I think I need to invite you down for dinner. You sound like my kind of dinner guest!

I'll be having the family (both sides) over on Christmas Day for the annual event of gluttony. We're starting with Crab and Shrimp Bisque, made with half-and-half. This will be followed by Virginia ham glazed with honey and mustard, sweet potatoes with praline sauce, greens with garlic and tomato, corn bread dripping with butter, and ending with pecan pie and coffee. No booze, though, too many recovered (and not-so-recovered) alcoholics. Seconds will be enforced, exercise will be banned, and not a single carrot stick or lettuce leaf will be allowed in the house.

Burp.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Bert
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 02:36 PM

Tasty. I'm NEVER tasteful!

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: kimmers
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 02:38 PM

I will say, though, on the inevitable subject of calories: Save your calories for the wonderful things. Live it up on the eggnog and pecan pie and smoked salmon and taters and gravy, and ignore the things you can get any old time. Why eat plain bread or dry turkey or ice cream out of a carton or lousy packaged cookies? Concentrate on the special, ephemeral dishes that you won't see for another 12 months; then you'll at least get the most mileage out of your gluttony.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 02:46 PM

kimmers....You're a Doc aren't you? If so, I have to say, you're my kind of Doc!!!! Could you have a word or two with my cardiologist? I tell him the same thing and he doesn't seem to get it.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: MarkS
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 02:59 PM

Mrs MarkS makes homemade fruitcakes every year and sends them to one and all. Oh well, I still love her, she puts up with me!
MarkS

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Jim Krause
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 03:07 PM

I'll have seconds--no thirds, please.

And as far as fruitcake goes, the American version may be inedible, but my dear sainted Mother's Boozebread is to die for, not because of. It is flat Good! Jim

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: kimmers
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 03:25 PM

I make fruitcake from English recipes; does that mean that mine may be acceptable?

Spaw, sorry, but you'd better do what your cardiologist sez. Can't help you there! Physicians are as vulnerable to holiday gluttony as everyone else; we just try not to get caught by our patients (such as when I have the grocery cart loaded down with wine and cream and butter and cheese and bacon and chocolate...)

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Kim C
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 03:26 PM

There are some good fruitcakes out there, usually the homemade kind.

This weekend, I make plum pudding and hard sauce. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 03:28 PM

The highlight, oddly enough, is not the Christmas dinner for us. We started before we had kids and we still do the same every Christmas morning. Karen makes a "Bubble Ring" which takes a good bit of time for raisng and such, so we get up real early. Bubble Ring is basically a cinnamon roll of sorts....sweet dough balls (about an inch in diameter) rolled in butter, brown sugar, and cinnamon, then layered into a bundt pan and baked. I build a fire, the house smells great, and the kids get up and we have coffee and milk with the Bubble Ring down by the fire and the tree while we open presents.

Somehow this little tradition has surpassed any dinners for us. New Years has become the big dinner day with us and we include "luck" foods from places we've lived and friends who come. Its become one helluva' monster anymore and pretty diverse with Pork Roast and kraut, blackeye peas, turnip greens, crab cakes, etc.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Hollowfox
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 03:53 PM

My family fruitcake recipe thanks you, Kim C. Long ago, I stopped using the little squares of sort-of candied fruit peel in mine. Instead, I get every kind of dried fruit I like that I can from, dried apricots to banana chips, and set the kids to work cracking a huge variety of nuts (don't even go there, 'Spaw). Then we put 'way too much of both into the family batter and bake it nice and slow. Solid, Jackson. Even teenagers love it.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Rowana (at work)
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 04:14 PM

Last year a girlfriend and I made fruitcake using cooking tips from her Irish brother, her English cookery recipe, and my two US recipes. Combined 'em all. What a lot of fun we had. Those cakes were g-o-o-o-o-o-d!

I am going to follow all the suggestions in Alex's post. Happy holidays!

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: mousethief
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 04:23 PM

Kimmers, will you PM me your recipe for pralined sweet potatoes?

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Kim C
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 05:44 PM

Ooh! Oooh! Me too! Me too! :)

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: NightWing
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 06:31 PM

My goodness! Sweet potatoes with praline sauce? I missed that the first time through. Can *I* please have the recipe as well?

BB,
NightWing

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: kimmers
Date: 14 Dec 00 - 06:59 PM

I stole it from Jeff Smith aka The Frugal Gourmet. It's in his American cookbook. I'll post it when I'm back home with my cookbooks... it is seriously yummy.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Peg
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 11:37 AM

growing up, we always spent Christmas Eve at my Italian grandparents' house: big sit-down dinner with lots of noise, kids and traditional foods. Which meant no meat until midnight; so there were lots of fish dishes including fried smelt, calamari and eels. I like smelt (I actually had some piping hot right out of the fryer last year and nearly lost my mind it was so damn good; all those years eating it lukewarm! The waste!) but wouldn't eat the other stuff. My grandfather took pity and let me eat his special roasted chicken (with oilive oil, red wine vinegar, garlic and rosemary) before midnight sinc ehe knew I didn't like the squidgy seafood. He was the chef (he taught me his secrets for making sauce, bracciola, and meatballs), his wife was the hostess who refused to sit down until everyone had what they needed...

On Christmas Day, another big old-fashioned sit-down with the Irish/English side of the family: turkey, ham, scalloped oysters, Yorkshire pudding, cranberry sherbet (my grandnother made this and it was amazing), sweet and mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, plenty of pies (mincemeat sometimes) and LOTS of different kinds of cookies.

These days both events are much smaller affairs. From twenty to thirty people, all seated, to buffet-style meals for ten or twelve. My father's sister is nowhere near the cook her father was: her lasagna contains ricotta cheese, but no mozzarella or parmesan; and virtually no seasoning to the sauce. I eat spaghetti and drink red wine and silently toast my long-dead grandparents and their artful meals (which they also served every damn Sunday; Grandpa would cook the sauce from scratch and let it simmer all night) and Christmases past...

And on Christmas Day, when we nibble all day and usually don't have room for a big dinner, my mom has been known to make instant mashed potatoes (not when I'm there! I make them myself and I almost have my family grudgingly accepting my mashed potatoes made *with* the potato skins) and she STILL cooks the turkey all night long in a slow oven (even though it is now a ten-pounder instead of a thirty-pounder) and so it is often dry. Sometimes she still makes gravy from scratch.

Sigh. How many of our Christmas memories are centered around the delightful (and sometimes scary) traditional foods prepared, as they were in the old days, with love and care and the haunting mystical quality of hundreds of years of authenticity?

I think we were healthier then, when more people actually cooked meals at home; our food had more love stirred into it. Home cooking is healthy because it is fresh and hot, yes, but also because those who cook it imbue it with care and magic for the loved ones who will enjoy it.

Happy Holidays!

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 11:51 AM

Neat stories, Peg! Thanks for sharing them! My mouth is watering...

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 12:01 PM

My grandmother was a Quaker, so no alcohol, so she made her Christmas fruitcake in the spring with lots of fresh fruit, which would ferment over the year so that by the time we ate it at Christmas (and with my Mom's hard sauce, I have to say it was actually delicious) you could really feel the kick! But she (granny) was Russian, so it wasn't a real American fruitcake. Unlike our generation!

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Naemanson
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 12:24 PM

Spaw! That bubble ring is part of my family Christmas too. You essentially described our Christmas mornings. My mother makes the bread on Christmas Eve, lets it rise over night and then bakes it in the morning. Great stuff!

BTW, my sister is a doc too and you should see what she eats!

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 04:20 PM

Yeah Brett...that's neat. Jaren has been doing the dough the night before, but I swear, she gets more excited than the kids!!! A few years ago when we had teenage boys and Mike and tris were still pretty small, she was so excited (and they weren't of course) that she woke them up at about 6:00 to get started. It was funnier than hell, but the older boys kinda' picked up the spirit from her and it was a great morning.

Peg has a great point about foods cooked with love. Special dishes that are holiday only seem to be disappearing and that's a shame. connie and Wayne and Karen and I have established a few "traditions" and it feels so nice to do the same things....again because they're done with love. Oyster Stew together on Christmas Eve is one of those that we all look forward to. Hard as I might try, I can't be a curmudgeon on Christmas.

And Peg......glad to see someone else enjoys the *BEST* part of the potato in their mashed taters!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 04:24 PM

I might become a curmudgeon if I were forced to eat Oyster Stew. But Spaw, damn my eyes and wipe my chin, you're almost sounding sentimental here!

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 04:28 PM

You said a mouth full Mousethief.

Cap't Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 05:52 PM

YES! Mousethief!! I am such a good and conscientous eater all year long, but at this time of year I gratefully sink my teeth into every delight that comes my way.
Peg, I think you're absolutely right about food made with love. I try to cook several meals from scratch each week, but it's hard. But this time of year the old recipes come out. Yesterday was a snow day home from school and I got out the age-old family orange-sugar-cookie recipe, without which Christmas simply would not come. My daughter asked me how often I had made these cookies, and I realized that there has never been a Christmas in my memory without them. Yum! I think I'll go have another one!

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 05:57 PM

Yeah, Anima! I make these melt-in-your-mouth brown-butter German shortbread cookies which I've been making since I've been in high school. Unfortunately none of the kids seem to like them so I don't think this tradition will outlive me.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Greyeyes
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 06:06 PM

Peg

"How many of our Christmas memories are centered around the delightful traditional foods prepared, as they were in the old days, with love and care and the haunting mystical quality of hundreds of years of authenticity?"

I couldn't agree more. I cook from scratch most nights, although I live alone. I love to cook, I love to eat. Buying a microwave meal to me is like saying to a Mudcatter "why make music when you can buy a Cd and listen to it without any effort?"

I sing as I cook, two of the great joys of the world. And if I can find someone to share my food, or enjoy my singing, my joy knows no bounds.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 06:07 PM

Golly, Greyeyes, I'll be right over!

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Greyeyes
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 06:23 PM

It's a date!

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Greyeyes
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 06:27 PM

Actually I've just checked the Mudcat resources and discovered that you are male, as am I. You are of course still welcome, but food and music only!

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 06:29 PM

It was all that was mentioned. You must be one of those sly ones that only mention food and music BEFOREHAND, but then presses for more.

But as you point out we're both male so I will be more than content with food and music. Two of my favorite pleasures. Do you serve wine too?

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Greyeyes
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 06:31 PM

Copious quantities.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: kimmers
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 08:33 PM

You know, I think I would rather have a bowl of cooked-from-scratch cornmeal mush than one of those dreadful microwave frozen dinners. Yeesh. They are not allowed in our house. We may be so tired that we eat bread and cheese and prunes for dinner, but at least it's real food.

On the other hand, bad cooking can be a bit of a fun tradition too... witness my mother's awful Thanksgiving dinners. If they were tasty, I'd worry that aliens had kidnapped my mother. And she takes the teasing so well.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Peg
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 02:13 PM

Greyeyes and mousethief:

it is so nice to hear two men saying they enjoy cooking for themselves! Not even many single women these days say the same; I read recently that one of the fastest growing supermarket items in terms of sales is prepared meals. They have come a long way since the Yuppie '80's but they are still full of preservatives and have probably no actual life or love contained therein...which is why, strange as it may seem, one can suffer from malnutrition even if one eats handfuls of vitamins and six Powerbars per day...the life-force of live food (fresh produce etc.) cannot be replaced with freeze-dried or dehydrated foodstuff, I don't care how fortified it is...

BTW I am also single (and female)and like to cook for myself, and others. If we were all in the same area I would suggest a dinner party!

peg

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: mousethief
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 02:16 PM

Thanks, Peg. I love cooking! Always have. Haven't always done it well, but the years of being a bachelor allowed me to practice different dishes with only one potential fatality.

At church this Sunday I was cornered by two women and basically TOLD I WOULD be providing my famous Caesar Salad for the potluck on New Year's Eve.

(My Caesar Salad rule of thumb: if it doesn't hurt, there's not enough garlic. Always a huge crowd-pleaser!)

(Answer to question before it's asked: No, I don't use anchovies.)

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: MMario
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 02:27 PM

A number of other male MudCatters also cook and seem to enjoy it, based on previous threads

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: MMario
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 02:32 PM

LOL MouseThief! Now in my parish, which I attend with my sister (who can cook but prefers not to cook) the question is usually "So what are you having your brother make?"

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: kimmers
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 03:16 PM

No anchovies, Alex? Then it isn't a Caesar! Just chop 'em real fine, and lie boldly when asked if you put them in. I've served people Caesar with anchovies, watched them chow down, and watched them push their plates away with horror once I told them what was really in there.

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: NightWing
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 04:04 PM

kimmers,

Might be he doesn't make it with anchovies 'cause he's veggie (that's my reason, anyway) or because lots/some of the people who'll be eating it are veggies.

I am another of the males around here who is a pretty good cook. In my case, I got it from Mom. She always used to bake bread and I grew up knowing how to do it. She had me cooking from the time I could actually reach the top of the stove (on a stepchair *G*). A good 'cook' but an excellent 'baker'. Everyone always asks me to bring my fresh bread to parties. (An' I just found a neat recipe for "Beer-Cheese Bread", kind of biscuit-y with beer and cheese. Any other similar recipes would be appreciated. I really want to find a yeast bread made with beer. Nummy!)

I agree about "prepared meals". Blech! But I will admit to buying two or three frozen pizzas every month for that evening when I get home from work and am JUST too bushed to cook. (When you cook for yourself, you can get away with that once in a while *S*)

But for the holidays, it's up to my folks' place. Don't do nothing but wash dishes after ... and lie around bloated *L*

BB,
NightWing

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: mousethief
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 04:39 PM

The original caesar salad, as made by Caesar Cardini in Tijuana during prohibition, did not have anchovies. I'm a purist.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: MMario
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 04:41 PM

NightWing - try searching on google.com there seem to be a number out there...

for example rye beer bread made with yeast

Subject: RE: BS: Holiday Eating
From: Greyeyes
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 04:43 PM

Thought this thread had died, but suddenly a new lease of life!

I agree that if you disguise anchovies many people eat them happily. My father hates them, I once gave him olives stuffed with anchovies and he ate nearly a bowl-full before I told him what was in them. Lea and Perrins (Worcestershire) sauce is heavily flavoured with anchovies and many anchovy haters use this copiously.

Men who cook is not just a bachelor thing. I know many couples where the bloke cooks and the woman rarely ventures into the kitchen. In an age when generally both partners work, the domestic chores have to be divided somehow. If the bloke likes to cook, or the woman doesn't, that seems a reasonable division.

NightWing, I'll look out for beer bread recipes, I'm sure I've seen some. Frozen Pizzas? Urgh. When I'm too tired to cook it's bread, cheese and wine.

I have always avoided making pastry, on the grounds that I'm no good at it, but a well meaning relative gave me a marble rolling pin and pastry board recently so I have been practising. The second batch of mince pies this year were a triumph! Flaky pastry to die for!