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Naughty kids' greatest hits II

Related threads:
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Naughty kids' greatest hits (110) (closed)


dick greenhaus 05 Oct 97 - 08:42 PM
JMike 06 Oct 97 - 09:46 AM
Bert 06 Oct 97 - 11:14 AM
Jerry Friedman 06 Oct 97 - 09:33 PM
Bert 07 Oct 97 - 08:50 AM
Joe Offer 19 Feb 99 - 05:09 PM
Bert 19 Feb 99 - 05:41 PM
Lonesome EJ 19 Feb 99 - 05:57 PM
katlaughing 19 Feb 99 - 06:30 PM
Susan of DT 19 Feb 99 - 08:03 PM
northfolk/al cholger 19 Feb 99 - 10:16 PM
bassen 20 Feb 99 - 04:47 PM
Philippa 20 Feb 99 - 06:04 PM
catspaw49 20 Feb 99 - 06:07 PM
Teresa 21 Feb 99 - 02:46 AM
Teresa 21 Feb 99 - 02:52 AM
SteveF (inactive) 26 Feb 99 - 01:23 PM
Metchosin 07 Apr 00 - 04:00 AM
Lady McMoo 07 Apr 00 - 04:36 AM
Lady McMoo 07 Apr 00 - 04:39 AM
GUEST,Neil Lowe 07 Apr 00 - 08:11 AM
SDShad 07 Apr 00 - 09:38 AM
Jeri 07 Apr 00 - 10:02 AM
Jeri 07 Apr 00 - 10:04 AM
Midchuck 07 Apr 00 - 10:15 AM
Amos 07 Apr 00 - 11:44 AM
GUEST,Mrrzy-at-work 07 Apr 00 - 12:08 PM
catspaw49 07 Apr 00 - 12:17 PM
GUEST,Mrrzy-at-work 07 Apr 00 - 12:20 PM
GUEST,Mrrzy-at-work 07 Apr 00 - 12:22 PM
Bert 07 Apr 00 - 12:30 PM
GUEST,Estela 07 Jun 00 - 04:46 PM
kendall 07 Jun 00 - 10:54 PM
Metchosin 08 Jun 00 - 12:01 AM
Annabelle 08 Jun 00 - 01:38 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 08 Jun 00 - 06:34 AM
Snuffy 08 Jun 00 - 09:26 AM
Irish sergeant 08 Jun 00 - 07:56 PM
Marion 08 Jun 00 - 11:48 PM
kendall 09 Jun 00 - 07:52 AM
Patrish(inactive) 09 Jun 00 - 10:54 AM
Dharmabum 09 Jun 00 - 02:13 PM
GUEST 26 Jun 00 - 05:51 PM
GUEST,Karolina, Poland 27 Jun 00 - 05:53 PM
Pixie 27 Jun 00 - 07:53 PM
Liz the Squeak 28 Jun 00 - 06:50 PM
Bert 29 Jun 00 - 04:50 PM
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rabbitrunning 05 Sep 00 - 12:00 PM
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Subject: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 05 Oct 97 - 08:42 PM

We used to declaim:
A noble fish, the bass
It swims among the grass and leaves
And falls upon its hands and knees.
Take it, y'all

Click for previous thread


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: JMike
Date: 06 Oct 97 - 09:46 AM

We also had:

Spider, spider on the wall, Ain't you got no brains at all? Get off the wall, it's just been plastered- Off the wall you silly spider.

For some reason it stuck in my mind to the point where I would always chuckle when (years later) I heard "off the wall" in any other context. (Much to the chagrin of my politically active - and rather humorless about it - acquaintances.)


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Bert
Date: 06 Oct 97 - 11:14 AM

Which reminds me....

Little fly upon the wall
Ain't you got no clothes at all?
Blimey! Ain't it cold?


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Jerry Friedman
Date: 06 Oct 97 - 09:33 PM

Thanks for the words to the "mosquito" song, Rechal!

Bert, I looked up "Yaw, Yaw, Yaw", and saw the steeple and the people, and... How shall I put this? I'd thought "Barnacle Bill" was about as low as you could go (except for the people who recite versions of dirty limericks that don't scan), but "Yaw, Yaw, Yaw" may be a new nadir of quality.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Bert
Date: 07 Oct 97 - 08:50 AM

Jerry,

That's FOLK music for you.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Joe Offer
Date: 19 Feb 99 - 05:09 PM

This thread is a continuation of a real classic, Naughty kids'greatest hits. That thread got to 114 messages, big enough to crash the computers of some poor Mudcatteers. Please post new messages here.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Bert
Date: 19 Feb 99 - 05:41 PM

My Dad used to sing this when he was a kid. This is all that has survived.

Tune: Men of Harlech

I'm the man who comes from Scotland
Shootin peas up a nanny goat's bottom.

I'm the man who comes from Norway
Shooting peas up a nanny goat's doorway.

Bert.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 19 Feb 99 - 05:57 PM

How about"Whistle while you work/Hitler is a jerk/Mussolini bit his weenie now it doesn'T work"

or(to the tune of Smoke Gets in your Eyes)"they asked me how I knew/rabbit shit was blue/everybody said/you're out of your head/rabbit shit is red"

or even(tune of Whoopie-tie-yi-yippie-yippie-yee) "Last time I seen her/She was sittin in the grass/Countin the freckles on a cowboys a$$/Gonna tie my p*ck*r to a tree,to a tree/gonna tie my p*ck*r to a tree"

then there was(tune of If You're Happy and You Know it) "There's a skeeter on my p*t*r, knock it off/There's a skeeter on my p*t*r ,knock it off/There's a dozen on my cousin,I can hear them bastards buzzin/There's a skeeter on my p*t*r knock it off"..ok,so I hung with a bad crowd!


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Feb 99 - 06:30 PM

Don't think this was ever in song version, but did anyone ever hear what we thought was a joke, in 4/5th grade, about Roy Rogers and Dale Evans?

They get naked. Looking at his chest, she says, "Roy, what nice "grass" you have!"
Roy,looking at her chest, "What nice "babies" you have!"
Dale, "Can my babies play in your grass?"
Roy, "If my car can park in your garage!"

We thought we were so naughty!

kat


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Susan of DT
Date: 19 Feb 99 - 08:03 PM

Gee Kat, we said that about Tarzan and Marilyn Monroe...


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: northfolk/al cholger
Date: 19 Feb 99 - 10:16 PM

An infamous school teacher from northern michigan was known to regale the late night barroom crowds with a parody of Colonel Bogies March:

Hitler, he only had one ball, Hitler....


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: bassen
Date: 20 Feb 99 - 04:47 PM

Being the man from Norway I guess I'm obliged to contribute to this thread... As no one has contributed the version I remember, I give you the following in the interests of the record being absolutely complete:

Hitler had only one left ball
Goering had two but very small
Himmler had something similar
And poor ol' Goebbels, had no balls at all

We also sang:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord
he is driving 'round the corner in a polka dotted Ford
one hand is on the throttle
and the other on a bottle
of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer
Glory glory halleluja
teacher hit me with a ruler
I hit him on the bean
with a rotten tangerine
there's no more school for me

But the earliest naughty song I can remember was a ditty that we recited as we pointed to appropriate body parts

"milk, milk, lemonade, 'round the corner fudge is made".

It was 1954, I was five and I thought God would strike me dead...

bassen


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Philippa
Date: 20 Feb 99 - 06:04 PM

There's a few songs of comparable nature at the dark Irish kid songs thread


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Feb 99 - 06:07 PM

I probably should have read Part One of this thread, but one of the best collections of these children's parody songs, albeit "clean," is from "Prairie Home Companion" and Garrison Keilor. Very cute and many were done on the show...another great way of flooding the old memory vaults.

One song parody not included was a beautiful take-off on the old gospel/bluegrass piece called "The Sweetest Gift." Does anyone happen to remember that one? I remember the last lines of the chorus as,

She brought a sandwich
On toasted white bread
Of peanut butter
Creamy style.

I think the book is still available, though I haven't checked.

catspaw


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Teresa
Date: 21 Feb 99 - 02:46 AM

Here's one I heard Robin Williamson sing. I'm sure I would have picked it up as a kid if I'd heard it then, because it sounded so jaunty and innocent.:
Me wife's got a furry thing,
A furry thing, a furry thing.
Me wife's got a furry thing;
She showed it to me Sunday.
It came from the furrier's,
It came from the furrier's,
It came from the furrier's;
It's goin' back on Monday!

Teresa


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Teresa
Date: 21 Feb 99 - 02:52 AM

Aha, after looking at my first post of lyrics, the formatting problems become evident. Oh, well; it seems readable anyway. Sorry, folks. Teresa


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: SteveF (inactive)
Date: 26 Feb 99 - 01:23 PM

A nifty song you could actually perform in public for a young audience (and their parents!) goes to the tune of Pack Up All My Cares and Woes:

I have lost my underwear
I don't care
I'll go bare
Bye, bye, longjohns

They were very close to me
Tickled me
Hee-hee-hee
Bye, bye, longjohns

If you find them you'll know where to find me
Oh how I miss that ol' trapdoor behind me

I have lost my underwear
I don't care
I'll go bare
Longjohns, bye, bye!

--SteveF


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Metchosin
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 04:00 AM

To the tune of "Viva La Companie"

Archibald jumped up and down on the porch
He was in agony
He jumped up and down and he clamped on his crotch
He had to go badly
Open the door, open the door
Open the door, I can't stand it no more
Open the door, open the door
I have to take a pee.

Further to a previous post

Hasten Jason
Bring the basin,
Oops, slop, bring the mop,
Alas, alack it's all in vain
The dog has licked it up again.

Bert, you wanted naughty kid's songs, I learned this in Grade 1, almost 50 years ago and have, unfortunately, never forgotten it, so I guess I must have been a naughty kid. The following is to a common tune, but I can't remember the original title

Two farmers, two farmers
Were digging in a ditch
One called the other
You dirty son of a
Murphey boy was sitting on a rock?
Along came a bumble bee
And stung him on the
Cocktail, gingerale
Five cents a glass,
And if you don't believe me,
I'll shove it up your
Ask me no questions,
I'll tell you no lies
And if you ever get hit
With a bucket of s**t
Be sure to close your eyes.

Considering I read this whole thread, I probably still am, a naughty kid.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 04:36 AM

I remember:

Mary had a little lamb
She thought it rather silly
She threw it up into the air
And caught it by its ...

Willy was a watchdog
Lying in the grass
Along came a bumble bee
And stung him on the ....

Ask no questions
Tell no lies
I saw a policemen
Doing up his ...

Flies are a nuisance
Bugs are worse
And that is the end
Of my silly little verse

mcmoo


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 04:39 AM

Also:

Willy had a willy
Four foot long
He showed it to the girl next door
She thought it was a snake
And hit it with a rake
And now its only two foot four...

mcmoo


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Neil Lowe
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 08:11 AM

Seems like the following was the chanted finale (or was coupled) to another ditty:

Three, six, nine,
The goose drank wine,
The monkey chewed tobacco
On the streetcar line.

The line broke,
The monkey got choked,
And they all went to heaven
In a little rowboat.

Maybe this was one of those jump rope rhymes. To quote dick greenhaus in Part I of this thread: if this chant qualifies as an example of "the purest form of folk," then this contribution should put to bed the controversy over whether rap is folk. Not to rouse any sleeping dogs or anything.

Neil


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: SDShad
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 09:38 AM

To the obvious tune:

I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
Who lies on the basement floor
One leg is missing, the other is gone
One leg is lying all over the lawn

No use explaining the one remaining
It flew through the kitchen door
I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
Who lies on the basement floor


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Jeri
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 10:02 AM

LEJ, the first I heard the "tie my p*ck*r to a tree" song was in an early HBO comedy showcase thing by ...er, I hate when this happens...was it Tom Thomerson? Tim Timerson? Tim Thomerson? (Some guy who sort of has his first name in his last name and has acted in numerous films since then.)

'Course everyone knows:
Do your balls hang low, do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Do your balls hang low?


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Jeri
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 10:04 AM

Now that I think of it, I think we actually sang about "tits," not balls.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Midchuck
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 10:15 AM

(To the tune of "Red River Valley - slowly, in multipart harmony)

You can hold it in your hand, Mrs. Murphy,
For it only weighs three quarters of a pound.
It's got hair around its neck like a turkey,
And it spits when you jerk it up and down!

Peter.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Amos
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 11:44 AM

Oh, the moon shown bright on a summer's night
And it shown right through her nightie
And what I saw as against the law
By Jesus Christ Almighty

She jumped in bed and covered up her head
And said Ic ouldn't find her
But I knew darn well she was lying like hell
So I jumped in bed behind her

Oh, I shoved ol' Pete right through the sheet
And into the organ grinder
And ... .... dang, forgot the last lines!

We also sang a dirty dity about finding a whore on Canal Strett, which y'all would find boring, to be sure..

This all dates to 1958 or so.

A


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Mrrzy-at-work
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 12:08 PM

My dad used to tell a story of the only time he was ever struck by his mom was for singing There's a german in the grass / With a bullet up his ass / Pull it out, pull it out / Boy scout! Never heard anyone else knew this one. It would have happened in the late 20s or early 30's. As a child I used to sing something that went Underwear, Underwear! How I itch in my new Underwear! My older sisters taught me that one in the early 60's. Could date from the late 50's.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 12:17 PM

Having just read this thread again, my above post from over a year ago is still true....its a really great book! And does anybody know the parody version of "Sweetest Gift" that I mentioned above....I'm still lookin'!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Mrrzy-at-work
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 12:20 PM

I saw on the older thread something about the alligator purse. We used to sing that one:

Miss Lucy had a baby, she named him Tiny Tim, she put him in the bathtub to see if he could swim

He ate up all the water, he drank up all the soap, he tried to eat the bathtub but it wouldn't go down his throat

Miss Lucy called the doctor, miss Lucy called the nurse, miss Lucy called the lady with the alligator purse

(now start singing faster and faster) In walked the doctor, in walked the nurse, in walked the lady with the alligator purse

Measles said the doctor, mumps said the nurse, chickenpox said the lady with the alligator purse

Out walked the doctor, out walked the nurse, out walked the lady with the alligator purse!

This was done by 2 people who did a fancy hand-clapping thing along with it.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Mrrzy-at-work
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 12:22 PM

Speaking of hand-clapping thingies, does anyone know Amalama koomalama koomalama vista? Or should this be another thread seeking hand-clapping 2-person songs?


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Bert
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 12:30 PM

In 1944 the soldiers went to war
They used their bums instead of guns
in 1944.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Estela
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 04:46 PM

I have some alternate versions of a few songs, and even a few not mentioned:

One is the Miss Lucy Had a Steamboat song; This is the longest version I know of, and I haven't seen it posted yet, and yes, we sang it with the emphasis as marked.

Miss Lucy had a steamboat. The steamboat had a bell. Miss Lucy went to heaven and the steamboat went to-- Hello, operator. Please give me number nine, And if you disconnect me, I will chop off your-- Behind the 'fridgerator, there was a piece of glass. Miss Lucy sat upon it and it broke (sic) her little-- Ask me no more questions; I'll tell you no more lies. The boys are in the bathroom pulling up their-- Flies are in the meadow. The bees are in the park. Miss Lucy and her boyfriend are kissing in the-- D-a-r-k. D-a-r-k. D-a-r-k dark, dark, dark! Dark is like a movie. a movie's like a show. A show is on a TV set and that is all-- I know I know my mother. I know I know my pa. I know I know my sister who is pulling up her bra!

There was also some version that had the order somehow altered so that the movies were connected to movie theater was connected to kissing in the dark. But this was the one we usually sang.

Also a version of the song listed as "Sweet Violets". I learned this one at camp, and ours was actually part of the "Shaving Cream" group. What I remember went like this. There were at least 5 verses.

A baby fell out of a window (a window) You'd think that it's head would have split (have split) But good luck was with him that morning (that morning) He fell in a pile of....

Chorus: Shhhhhhhhaving cream! Be nice and clean! Shave every day and you'll always look clean, Bop bop, mm bop bop, mm bop bop, mm bop.

[As I recall, the mm bop bop part had a sort of dance with it: you would alternate ducking down and sitting standing up real straight. Sometimes alternate people would do it on opposite words.]

I don't recall more of our verses, at least not in full, but there was definitely one about a soldier whose kit was full of...you guessed it. And someone being full of...right. None of them are the ones listed under "Sweet Violets."

And I've got a variant of the "I'm a nut" song.

Our chorus was the same, with claps instead of snaps, but our verses went:

I'm a little acorn round Lying on the cold, cold ground. Everybody steps on me. That is why I'm cracked, you see. CHO.

Called myself up on the phone Just to see if I was home. Asked myself out on a date. Said to be ready by half past eight. CHO.

Took myself to the picture show. Sat myself in the very first [or front] row. Put my arm around my waist. Got so fresh I slapped my face! CHO.

Let's see. I don't think I've heard "Jaws" mentioned. It went "Baby jaws, jaws jaws, jaws, jaws, baby jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws, jaws" and then you'd substitute things like "momma jaws", "grandpa jaws", etc. Each one had a hand symbol. Baby jaws was hands together at the wrist, small motions, and it went up through one linked at the elbows, to one with your whole arms for the biggest jaws. The idea was that that you'd close the jaws on every word "jaws." I think there may also have been one like this that went "Aaaaaaaaalllllllligator...aaaaalllllllligator" where alligators ate either people or each other, but the aaaaaaaallllligator was the chorus.

Then there was a song about Mrs. O'Leary [Cow Kicked the Bucket] I don't remember much but the end of either each verse or the whole song had several shouted directions, at least some with motions.

One about "Burn [Something] Burn". The last three were "jump, lady, jump!" [Waving like you were holding airplane cones] "errrrrrrrrrsmash!" [It was kind of a sound effect. Hand motion was a big swoop from high to low, that crashed into the other hand.] And then the last was "get the shovel!"

We also sang the "Comet, it makes your mouth turn green" parody (or just whistled the melody) and "Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts" (our bird line was "little baby birdies' feet"). There were plenty more, but those were the most gruesome, and so most memorable. Oh yeah! And "Tiptoe through the Goose Doo" which was probably an original parody. The grass near the lake at the camp had a lot of "goose doo."

On long bus trips, we used to sing dirty versions of "The Ants Go Marching." I don't think they were ever standardized, you'd sort of make up the rhymes as you went along.

I know of a few clapping songs. Miss Mary Mack (If anyone wants the full words I can probably manage them), and "The Band-Aid Song." The "clapping" for the band aid song was quite complicated. There was less clapping than swishy motions and intricate grabs of the hands and wrists from above and below and things like that. The song went "I am stuck on Band-Aid brand cause the Band-Aid's stuck on me!" And there was a part about it not coming off in the bathtub, followed by the "I am stuck..." piece again. I'm not sure, but I think we at least tried to do The Band-Aid Song with three or four people, and there was another clapping song which I can't remember at all (it may even have been Miss Lucy) that was done in a circle of five or six people.... or that might have applied to any song that had the simple clap, clap left hands with your partner, clap, clap right hands with your partner pattern. Band-Aid was too complicated for more than four people to even attempt, since it had to be done in the middle.

I wish I could remember them better, especially given it's been less than a decade for a lot of these. Oh well. Sorry for the longwinded posting, I just knew a lot of these songs at one point.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: kendall
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 10:54 PM

The first song I ever learned.

There once was a farmer who lived by a crick
A decent young farmer who played with his
marbles In springtime, with a lady next door
You could tell by her actionbs that she was a
decent Young lady she laid in the grass
every time she rolled over she showed her bare
Fashions and features she could swim like a duck
She showed all the farmers a French way to
Bring up the children, she taught them to knit
While the boys in the barnyard were shovelling out the
Contents of the stable out onto the grass
If you dont like my story you can kiss my bare
Ask me no questions I'll tell you no lies
If horse turds were muffins we would eat til we died.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Metchosin
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 12:01 AM

To the tune of Humoresque:

Ever since I met your daughter
I've had trouble passing water
Footprints on the dashboard upside down

That's all I can remember, anyone know if there are more verses?


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Annabelle
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 01:38 AM

IN days of old
when knights were bold and toilets weren't invented
they lay their load by the side of the road
And went along contented

-a favorite of my late, great grandpa


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 06:34 AM

Metch, ther was some discussion last year & it's in the DT use "dashboard" as the search term in the box.
RtS


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Snuffy
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 09:26 AM

IN days of old when knights were bold
And women weren't invented
They used a hole in a telegraph pole
And went away contented

Wassail! V


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 07:56 PM

A few quick comments. I learned Canal Street in Chicago. I was 12 and thought i was terribly wicked. this was 1967. Humoresque has a few other verses starting off with:

Passengers will please refrain
from using the toilet while the train
is standing in the station i love you!
Therefore we urge constipation
while the train is in the station.
If the train can't go then why should you?

From my friend Pete Box formerly of Her Majesty's Ship Ark Royal, Never let your bollocks dangle in the dust. And last but not least one I found in,of all places, the novel Battle Cry by Leon Uris;

Get out your Old grey bustle,
Get your ass out and hustle,
For tomorrow the room rent is due.
Lay it down in the clover,
Let the boys look it over,
If you can't get five take two!
(To the tune of "Your old Grey Bonnet")

Another form of folk music using a very broad brush are marching cadences. I know several disgusting ones. Hey, the Navy promised they would teach me a trade! Neil


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Marion
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 11:48 PM

Did anyone else sing my childhood favourite:

Everybody's doing it
Picking their nose and chewing it
Thinking that it's ice cream but it's not.

(The last two words should be slurred: it'ssssnot)

Marion


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: kendall
Date: 09 Jun 00 - 07:52 AM

Put on your old blue panties
That used to be your Anties
That were found laying out in the hay
With a hole in the middle that your uncle used to diddle
In that good old fashioned way.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 09 Jun 00 - 10:54 AM

Oh the cow kicked Nellie in the Bellie in the barn
Oh the cow kicked Nellie in the Bellie in the barn
Oh the cow kicked Nellie in the Bellie in the barn
And the farmer said it'll do her no harm

we used to sing this over and over again.

Me aunty Mary had a canary up her knicker leg
And when she farted down it darted
Up the other leg

Patrish


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Dharmabum
Date: 09 Jun 00 - 02:13 PM

Gross out songs were always our favorites.

SCABS SANDWICHES

Scabs sandwiches with puss on top,

Monkey vomit and elephant snot.

Doggy dandruf and cat poo poo.

Scabs sandwiches are good for you.

OR

I'm Popeye the sailor man,

I live in a garbage can,

I eat all the worms and spit out the germs,

I'm Popeye the sailor man.

OR

I'm Popeye the sailor man,

I live in a frying pan,

I turned on the gas and burned off my ass,

I'm Popeye the sailor man.

Believe me,at ten years old this stuff was hillarious!

Ron.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jun 00 - 05:51 PM

When I was growing up in North Bay in Canada, I heard this song, sung to the tune of "Whistle while you Work" from Snow White

Oh, Whistle while you work

For Hitler is a jerk

Mussolini bit his weinie

Now it doesn't work!

(We were pretty rude kids)


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Karolina, Poland
Date: 27 Jun 00 - 05:53 PM

Gee, what a grand thread! I'm so sorry I can't add anything as I'm from a non-English speaking country... I enjoyed reading it SO MUCH!!!


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Pixie
Date: 27 Jun 00 - 07:53 PM

We recited (for my mother)although it was advice for boys:

"No matter how much you wiggle and dance The last three drops always go down your pants".

Also:(without revealing a mis-spent youth?) "C'mon baby, take a chance I left my safe in my other pants" (I read it on a bathroom wall - honest!)

I don't know if anyone else knows this version of "Old King Cole" taught to me by my best friend's mother:

"Old King Cole was a merry old soul with two brass balls and an electric c*ck He gave those girls one hell of a shock"

She also taught us "Good Morning Mrs. Murphy", but I only recite that to mixed company.

The "Bean Poem" lasted for years.....


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Jun 00 - 06:50 PM

Mary had a bicycle, the spokes were made of brass,
and every time she turned the wheel, the spokes went up her skirt.

Ah, the innocence of youth!!

How many times, have you had it off with an English Country gardener?
I've had it twice and I think it's very nice, with an English Country gardener.
Running round the hollyhocks, grabbing hold his bollyocks
such a shame we never got farther than that, we were always too busy running away from mother!!!

LTS


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Bert
Date: 29 Jun 00 - 04:50 PM

Pixie,


is that the one we learned as "Gor Blimey Mrs. Murphy"?

Bert.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: rabbitrunning
Date: 05 Sep 00 - 12:45 AM

When I was a kid we sang:

How dry I am,
How wet I'll be
If I don't find
The Bathroom key
Now here's the key
But where's the door?
Aw, oops, too late
It's on the floor

It was even more fun as a chorus.

The other "potty" song was to the tune of the theme song of an old western called "Branded" and went thusly:

Stranded, stuck on the toilet bowl
What can you do when you're stranded
And you can't find the roll.
To prove you're a man you have got to use your hand
when you're stranded, and you can't find the roll!

fake trumpet noises optional...

CD


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,John Bauman
Date: 05 Sep 00 - 08:59 AM

My mother taught me these and I've never heard them anywhere since--and she had a bunch of these;

A petunia's a flower, like a begonia,
A begonia's a meat, like a sausage,
A sausage and battery's a crime,
Monkeys crime trees'
Trees a crowd,
The rooster crowed in the morning and made a loud noise,
The noise is on the face, like the eyes,
Eyes are opposite Nays'
The horse nays, has a colt,
And wakes up in the morning with double petunia.


30 days hath Septober,
April, June, and no wonder.
All the rest have peanut butter,
except Pasadena which hosts the Rose Bowl.


Him have gone. Him have went. Him have left I
all alone. Will him never come to I? Must me ALWAYS
go to He? It can never was! Damn, Don't it awful?!


Cheautiful burch ain't it?
Some thinkle peep so.
Mardon me padam, this pie is occupewed,
May I sow you to another sheet?
I'm not as think as you drunk I am but I
fool so feelish. I've had tee many martoonies.

(The very last line is the only one I've ever heard elsewhere.)

John


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: rabbitrunning
Date: 05 Sep 00 - 12:00 PM

I learned that last line as part of this:

I come before you to stand behind you
to tell you of something I know nothing about
Admission free, pay at the door,
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
Offishly Honester, I ain't under the affluence of inkahol,
like some thinkle peep I am.
I just had tee many martoonies.
And beshides, I got all sober to Sunday up on.

Not sung, but said in a loud declaiming voice.


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