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Naughty kids' greatest hits II

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GUEST,Bubba Dean 14 Sep 16 - 12:25 AM
GUEST,Bubba Dean 14 Sep 16 - 12:34 AM
GUEST,Gordon 27 Nov 16 - 02:00 AM
GUEST,Guest brian 29 Jun 21 - 03:04 AM
GUEST,Mark Finn 18 Jul 21 - 12:24 PM
GUEST,Guest 18 Jul 21 - 07:16 PM
GUEST,Don 11 Aug 22 - 09:48 AM
GUEST,Anon 25 Sep 22 - 07:03 AM
Joe_F 25 Sep 22 - 05:52 PM
Bill D 16 Oct 22 - 06:54 PM
GUEST,Mike S 09 Dec 23 - 01:37 AM
MaJoC the Filk 09 Dec 23 - 09:45 AM
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Subject: Barnacle Bill, the Sailor
From: GUEST,Bubba Dean
Date: 14 Sep 16 - 12:25 AM

"Barnacle Bill, the Sailor"

Who's that knocking on my door?...(3times)...said the fair young maiden.

It's only me from over the sea...said Barnacle Bill, the Sailor.

What's that hanging down your leg?...(3 times)...said the fair young maiden.

It's only a pole to put in your hole...said Barnacle Bill, the Sailor.

What's that hanging on your pole?...(3 times)...said the fair young maiden.

It's only some grass to tickle your ass...sad Barnacle Bill, the Sailor.


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Subject: Bangin' Away on Lulu
From: GUEST,Bubba Dean
Date: 14 Sep 16 - 12:34 AM

Lulu had a boyfriend. He drove a garbage truck.
He took her down an alley and taught her how to...

Bangin' Away on Lulu...Bangin' Away all Day...Who we gonna bang on...when Lulu goes away?



Can't remember the other verses. This was a Navy drill team song we used to sing on the bus while driving to and from parades...58 years ago...1958


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Gordon
Date: 27 Nov 16 - 02:00 AM

in days of olde and knights were bold, and dunnys weren't invented, they did their lots in flower pots and called them

I'm sorry I don't recall the last word.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Guest brian
Date: 29 Jun 21 - 03:04 AM

Dirty rhymes from my childhood around about late 70’s thru 80’s.

Lulu had a baby, she named him tiny tim
She threw him in the pisspot to see if he could swim
He sank to the bottom, he floated to the top
Lulu got excited and grabbed him by the
Cocktail gingerale five cents a glass
If you do not like it you can kiss my
Ask me no more questions
tell me no more lies

It ends with something about flies.

There was a dirty christmas carol story

Twas the night before christmas
When all through the house
Everyone was stoned, even the mouse
My mother and father were smoking pot
And i just sat down to eat a twat
When upon the roof rose such a clatter
I jumped off my girlfriend to see whats the matter
When what should my eyes appear
A tiny sleigh, and eight horny reindeer
A fat old driver whipped out his dick
I knew that moment, it must be saint prick
He flew down the chimney pike a bat outta hell
I knew in a moment that old bastard fell
He filled the stockings with reefer and beer
And left a dildo for the family queer
I heard him exclaim as he flew outta site
Fuck you all and have a hell of a night.

Also a dirty version of “on top of spagetti” i only remember the first line
On top of ol smokey all covered with snow
Where the cock suckers work a nickel a blow

Anyone can finish that one?


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Mark Finn
Date: 18 Jul 21 - 12:24 PM

During the Alan Sherman era we would sing:

ON TOP OF OLD SMOKEY

On top of old Smokey
All covered with hair
Of course I'm referring
To Smokey the Bear.

COMIN' THROUGH THE RYE

Do not make a stingy sandwich
Pile the cold cuts high
Customers should see salami
Comin' through the rye.

And a classic Oscar Brand record from the early 50's (think of "Shaving Cream" or "Sweet Violets"):

A CLEAN SONG

There was a young sailor
Who looked through the glass,
And spied a fair mermaid
With scales on her island

Where seagulls
Fly over their nests
She combed the long hair
That hung over her shoulders

And caused her
To tickle and itch.
The sailor cried out
\"There's a beautiful mermaid, \"

A-sitting out
There on the rocks,
The crew came around
A-grabbing their glasses

And crowded four deep
To the rail,
All eager to share
In this fine piece of news.

Which the captain soon
Heard from the watch.
He tied down the wheel
And he reached for his crackers

And cheese which
He kept near the door.
In case he might someday
Encounter a mermaid.

He knew he must
Use all his wits
Crying \"Throw out a line.
We'll lasso her flippers.\"

And then we will
Certainly find
If mermaids are better
Before or be brave

My good fellows.\"
The captain then said.
\"With fortune we'll break
Through her mermaiden head-

-Ing to starboard
They tacked with dispatch.
And caught that fair mermaid
Just under her elbows

And hustled her
Down below decks,
And each took a turn
At her feminine setting

Her free at the end
Of the farce,
She splashed in the waves,
Falling flat on her after

A while one man
Noticed some scabs,
Soon they broke out with the pox
And the scratching

With fury,
Cursing with spleen,
This song may be dull
But it's certainly clean.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 18 Jul 21 - 07:16 PM

Our church choir - at one of its weekly practices - performed "Lloyd George Knew My Father" with organ and full harmony.

For those of you not familiar with it - the tune is "Onward Christian Soldiers" and the lyrics are:

Lloyd George knew my father
Father knew Lloyd George

(repeat ad infinitum)

I think they did three verses with differing harmonies and organ techniques. It was hard for them to not break out laughing.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Don
Date: 11 Aug 22 - 09:48 AM

Don't know why there is lipstick on my fly, lousy b******

Sung to Stormy Weather


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Anon
Date: 25 Sep 22 - 07:03 AM

In days of old
When Knights were bold
Before paper was invented
They wipe their ar**
In blades of grass
Then ride away contented!


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Joe_F
Date: 25 Sep 22 - 05:52 PM

Of all the fishes in the seas
The strangest is the bass.
It climbs up to the tops of trees
And slides down on its hands and knees
To frolic in the grass.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Oct 22 - 06:54 PM

I heard a few of the many offerings here, but even as a kid, I didn't care for the really smarmy ones that were just an excuse to say naughty words..or ones that were obviously misremembered and only partially there. A very few were both clever and relevant.


? Wonder why ...there's no ass at North High
Damned inflation!
Hafta stay with masturbation.
Stay horny all the timeee..?

One guy knew, and sang "Friggin' in the Riggin", but I didn't learn it till many years later


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: GUEST,Mike S
Date: 09 Dec 23 - 01:37 AM

My mom sang this when I was a kid - this site had the only near match:

"...Shot his sister?, when he was only three
Drownded his brother in a cup of tea
Davy, Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier..."

I think she said the original was "shot a b'ar" which was supposed to mean bear.

While I'm at it, this one she sang recalls a better-managed time...

"Beer, beer for old Stroudsburg High
You bring the whiskey, I'll bring the rye
Send somebody out for gin
Don't let a sober senior in!
We never stagger, we never fall
We sober up on wood alcohol
? ? ? ? ? ? ? and open the guldarn bar!"


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids' greatest hits II
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 09 Dec 23 - 09:45 AM

One I heard from my brother:

In days of old when knights were bold
And there was nowt to eat,
They were on their knees, eating the cheese
Off other people's feet.


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