Skinnydipping at Baptizing

Subject: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Nathan in Texas
Date: 27 Jan 01 - 08:23 PM

Don't know any of the words to it, but I'm looking for a song about some fellows going skinnydipping in the river when the church folks show up to have a baptizing. I think they hide underwater and breathe through a reed until one of them thinks something's nipping a sensitive portion of his anatomy and leaps out into the open.

Thanks!

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Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Joe Offer
Date: 28 Jan 01 - 02:58 AM

Hmmmm. I gotta hear this one. Gene or Dale must have the lyrics. I'll clue 'em in.

When I was in Israel a year ago, our parish priest and I baptized the rest of our group in the Jordan River. Before we went in, some guys coming out told us to watch out for the piranhas. I was in the water for half an hour or so - something was nibbling at the back of my legs the whole time.

And no, Spaw, I was NOT skinny-dipping....

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Banjer
Date: 28 Jan 01 - 02:58 AM

You mean a fish or small turtle starts biting his nose?

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Jan 01 - 05:56 AM

Israeli Piranhas?...oh, the smart alec remarks THAT will bring...

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 28 Jan 01 - 07:19 AM

I think I told this one too. On the Rockcastle River in Eastern Kentucky (LEJ knows this area), a couple of canoers rounded the bend and discovered they were in the midst of a baptizing. They just pulled oars and drifted respectably past the crowd.

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Jan 01 - 12:16 PM

I don't believe there are piranhas in the Jordan river. But I have gone swimming or wading in various places and had minnows nibble at the hair on my legs.

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: NightWing
Date: 28 Jan 01 - 01:51 PM

Jim, you're right. Piranha live in the Amazon, not in the Jordan (or anywhere else near there).

But certes, there are piranha-out-of-water living everywhere. Somehow I doubt they'd be nibbling on someone's legs. I rather suspect they'd be suing because you were in the water somewhere you weren't supposed to be. *G*

[No professions were harmed or even named by this blatant dig at them *EG*]

BB,
NightWing

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: sophocleese
Date: 28 Jan 01 - 06:48 PM

Well it sounds like it could be a fun song. As a child and teenager I used to go skinny dipping in a nearby pond. The pond was owned by a local surgeon so we invented Ed. Ed was created out of all of the amputated body parts that the doctor threw into the pond. A great story to tell to a new swimmer when we were sitting on the raft letting the minnows nibble at our toes....

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Joe Offer
Date: 28 Jan 01 - 07:09 PM

Hey, you mean I shouldn't have believed those guys? Do you dare say that those men, who had just been born again in the River of Jordan, that they were lying to me?

Yeah, I know the piranhas are from South America. I thought maybe it was turtles, but minnows sounds more likely. Turtles bite harder, and this was just a gentle nibble. Hey, maybe it was mermaids....

Well, a guy can hope, can't he?

But I wonder if we're going to get the lyrics to this song.

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: rangeroger
Date: 28 Jan 01 - 07:31 PM

A drunk was walking down the road next to a river.A local church was performing baptisms and he wandered out into the river to watch the procedings,standing in the water next to the preacher.

The preacher looked over at him and asked if he was ready to find Jesus.The drunk answered that he was, so the preacher grabbed his head, dunked under the water, and brought him back up , asking "Did you find Jesus?". The drunk said, "No, I didn't". So the preacher grabbed his head, dunked it under for a longer time, and pulled him back up, again asking "Have you found Jesus?"

The drunk again said,"No, I haven't". This time the pracher shoved the drunk's head under water for a full minute. When he brought the drunk up spitting and spluttering, he asked loudly,"Have you found Jesus now?"

The drunk said, " No. Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

rr

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Giac
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 06:00 AM

Two little boys were playing church when they decided to have a baptizing. The closest water was a cattle trough, and, lacking a victim, er, baptizee, they caught a reluctant goat and dragged it to the trough. After about 15 minutes of sweating and struggling to get the goat into the trough, one says, "Let's just sprinkle him and let him go to hell with the Methodists."

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 09:52 AM

Dunno about this particulary embarrasing pastime but I always wonder why, when seemingly alone in hundreds of acres of wild moorland, on deciding to relieve oneself of a surplus of body fluid in the usual manner, a party of girl guides always appears from round the back of the nearest big rock....

Dave the Gnome

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 10:10 AM

*LOL* so that's YOU Dave the Gnome! Oh the hours of traumatic counselling we had to offer the kids after those episodes...

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 10:58 AM

Ha! How traumatic do you think it was for ME!!! Couldn't wee for days after. Anyway - I guess you would recognise that long red pointy thing anywhere after that episode...

It is the hat I am refering to of course;-)

DtG

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 11:25 AM

Of course you're referring to the hat! We weren't carrying a microscope after all (though we should have been - Girl Guides should always "Be Prepared", but then, there's some things in life, ya just can't prepare for!)

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 11:34 AM

The indignity of it all - it comes flooding back now... What do you expect from a Gnome anyway? We are only little!

Mind you you don't think it's always a fishing rod I am holding out do you? On a cold windswept pennine moor everything shrinks. If I had seen anything to get excited about you may have had a big shock though:-O

DtG

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 12:14 PM

...you don't think it's always a fishing rod I am holding out do you?...
Well it had a fish on the end.

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 12:14 PM

Dave the Gnome, he sleeps with the fishes. No, really.

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Jan 01 - 02:08 PM

...wonder if the Girl Guides, who, it would seem have their own problems, have stories to tell about Gmomes appearing JUST when they need some privacy behind a tree..*grin*

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 30 Jan 01 - 04:02 AM

Of course it had a fish on the end. How do you think we attract lady Gnomes? Well, that and the pinecone but let's not get too personal....

DtG

Subject: RE: Skinnydipping at Baptizing
From: GUEST,Fred
Date: 31 Jan 01 - 12:07 AM

A guy passing a southern river baptizing was grabbed by the preacher and dunked. As he came up, the preacher asked, "Do you BELIEVE?!!" The guy said, "Naw suh", so the preacher dunked him again and longer. Again the preacher asked, "Now do you BELIEVE?!!!" The guy said, "Naw suh" again, so the preacher held him under even longer. When he let him up, spluttering, the preacher repeated his question. This time the guy replied, "Yas suh, I believe! I believe you's tryin' to drown me!"