Subject: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C Date: 02 Feb 01 - 03:48 PM Looking for additional verses and background on this bawdy old British drinking song: Anthony Clair
There once was a man named Anthony Clair, |
Subject: Lyr Add: LARGE BALLS From: Sorcha Date: 02 Feb 01 - 04:43 PM LARGE BALLS Miss Jones was walking down the street When a young fella she happen to meet Who was giving the girls a helluva treat By twisting and turning his balls.
For they were large balls, large balls
A policeman to the scene was brought
The prisoner standing in the dock
The judge he said, "The case is clear
from: http://www.oli.tudelft.nl/thor/songs/Large.html |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: wdyat12 Date: 02 Feb 01 - 04:50 PM Sorcha, So this is where the idea for that AC/DC tune came from! wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C Date: 02 Feb 01 - 04:59 PM Not bad! My other verses run: As he was swinging them round and round, One came down with a bloody great bound, Right on the head of his faithful hound, Who was watching him play with his balls, For they were... To magistrate he was taken away, And his case came up the very next day, But the magistrate could not say, Why he should not play with his balls, For they were... Now Anthony Clair has gone to rest, And may his soul forever be blessed, Of all good fellows he was the best, And he liked to play with his balls, For they were large balls, Ballas as heavy as lead! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: wdyat12 Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:24 PM Keep it coming folks! This is going to make writing my thesis so much easier! wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:32 PM What AC/DC tune? |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Sorcha Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:35 PM What thesis? Are you two the same person, (grin)? RollnGo wants em, so wdyat12 thesis-izes 'em........ |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: wdyat12 Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:43 PM Roll&Go and Sorcha, The AC/DC tune is "We've got the Biggest Balls of them All" and I think my thesis topic was "An Environmental History of the Kennebec River," but your topic sounds much more fun! wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: wdyat12 Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:45 PM Sorcha, I may have two personalities? Explain! wdyat 12 |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:47 PM "An Environmental History of the Kennebec River"? How do the lyrics go? "Up the lazy river where the power lies..." |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: wdyat12 Date: 02 Feb 01 - 05:54 PM Not exactly! More like "Take me to the River" from a salmon's point of view. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Sorcha Date: 02 Feb 01 - 06:08 PM I am still not sure just how Anthony Clair's balls relate to the Kennebec river, but I'll take your word for it, (*BG*) |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: wdyat12 Date: 02 Feb 01 - 06:11 PM I think I could work the lyrics for "Balls as Heavy as Lead" into my original topic. Lead in fish is a major problem! wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Sorcha Date: 02 Feb 01 - 06:13 PM aaahhhh, well glad we solved that one, then!! (she says giggling) Sorry, it just struck me funny. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: GUEST,Roll&Go-2 Date: 02 Feb 01 - 06:21 PM Wdyat12 Your thesis reminds me of another British song which would be hard to track down called "Fish Fingers." I do live on the Kennebec River, up in Richmond, so I take an interest in what's going on with fish. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: wdyat12 Date: 02 Feb 01 - 06:33 PM Sorcha, My split personality or my thesis? Explain! wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: wdyat12 Date: 02 Feb 01 - 06:40 PM Roll&Go-2, I would really appreciate it if you would trasncribe the lyrics of "Fish Fingers" to me. I'm on another link dicussing fingernails and fingerpicking also. So, you live below where the Edward's Damn used to be? wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Sorcha Date: 02 Feb 01 - 06:43 PM I was just wondering if RollnGo and wdyat were some sort of weird "mirror personalities". RnG asked for the lyrics, and then you wanted to incorporate them into your thesis.......sort of like RnG didn't want to admit why the lyrics were needed.......probably it was only a "synapse fart" in my strange brain. Lead in fish is NOT funny, I agree. Neither is pollution of rivers, etc. Is this thesis written yet? I am sure your advisors would get a large charge out of the lyrics.....after all, perhaps lead poisoning or lead poisoned fish caused 'Tony's problem........although it sounds more like Elaphantitis to me (which is not a funny thing either, if you have it) |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: wdyat12 Date: 02 Feb 01 - 07:07 PM Sorcha, I don't know, but Roll&Go and I seem to have a special bond with this river called Kennebec. He is a different entity than me and Yes! I bond with him, if you want to call that "mirror personalities," that's OK.You are right! Lead and murcury are not tolerable in our rivers. Niether is effluent from Nuke Plants or Sewage Treatment Plants,"Damns,"or other impediments to the "natural flow" and "original character" of a river. As for Elephantitis, that too is probably the effect of an environment gone wrong! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: wdyat12 Date: 02 Feb 01 - 07:11 PM Where were we folks? We were having so much fun until you asked me the "Right Questions." wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C Date: 02 Feb 01 - 07:13 PM I'm signing off for now. Thanks for the feedback. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: wdyat12 Date: 02 Feb 01 - 07:23 PM Please don't ask me anything that relates to my thesis or the environment again, as it has a real negative effect on the flow of the discussion! wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C Date: 03 Feb 01 - 01:17 PM P.S. Here's the second verse to my family's version of this song: As Anthony Clair came down the street, A pretty girl he chanced to meet, And she was given the wondrous treat, Of watching him play with his balls, For they were large balls, Balls as heavy as lead! In my family's version Anthony is clearly a juggler, an artist rather than just an uncouth exhibitionist. I'm still interested in comments about the song. My family learned it from an exciled Britisher, Dennis Puleston of Brookhaven, Long Island. |
Subject: Lyr Add: LARGE BALLS (from Brian Kirk & the Jirks) From: Jim Dixon Date: 15 Jul 02 - 12:13 PM Copied from http://www.jirks.com/cds/second/american_life_lyrics.htm
LARGE BALLS
There was a man named Anthony Claire.
'Cause they were large balls,
Now Anthony walking down the street,
CHORUS: Now Anthony swung them round and round
They took him to a magistrate
The judge he said, "It's a bloody disgrace,
The judge and jury couldn't agree
Now Anthony gave the court a shock,
So this is the moral of the song:
(Copyright © 2000 by Brian Kirk & the Jirks. All rights reserved.) |
Subject: Lyr Add: LARGE BALLS (Larry Nash) From: Jim Dixon Date: 15 Jul 02 - 12:15 PM Copied from http://www.jirks.com/lyrics2/musiclist_artist.asp?u_action=display&u_log=130 LARGE BALLS
Miss Jones was walking down the street,
CHORUS: But they were large balls, large balls,
A policeman to the scene was called,
The prisoner standing in the dock,
The judge he said, "The case is clear, Copyright © 1997-2001 Larry Nash. All rights reserved. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: fogie Date: 15 Jul 02 - 12:48 PM refreshing? |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Nigel Parsons Date: 15 Jul 02 - 12:57 PM Sorcha: when you said "it just struck me funny" was that last word a 'typo' ? Nigel |
Subject: Lyr/Chords Add: ANTHONY CLAIRE (from D Puleston) From: Charley Noble Date: 15 Jul 02 - 03:20 PM Hmmmm. Well, I suppose if people have seriously reworked or rearranged this old music hall song they's entitledto copyright their results. In general I'm perfectly happy with Dennis's version which all together runs (copy and repaste into WORD/TIMES/12):
After the singing of old family friend Dennis Puleston of Brookhaven, Long Island, NY, in the 1950's.
As he was slinging 'em round and round,
Now Anthony Claire has gone to rest, |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: breezy Date: 15 Jul 02 - 08:38 PM and at the end of the chorus go OI! as performed by by Pete Rose of Watford circa 1980 ,thats Saul's Dad |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Herga Kitty Date: 15 Jul 02 - 08:56 PM Well, as "large boots" it was performed by Bob (now Rob)Williams on the Herga record about 10 years earlier - from which Bob Hambleton has now learned it and started singing it. I rather think this is where Pete Rose (via the folk club and the morris side) got it from. Kitty |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: GUEST Date: 16 Jul 02 - 07:28 AM Was the 'boots' version the original or a cleaned-up version? Anyone know the origins of the song? Both versions were around when I was at school (1960's) |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: GUEST Date: 16 Jul 02 - 07:31 AM But the version I heard was slightly different - the flick of the wrist was the 'boots' version. In the 'balls' version, it was a 'dexterous flick of his muscular prick' |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Charley Noble Date: 16 Jul 02 - 09:40 AM The Puleston version dates back to at least the 1930's. Charley Noble |
Subject: Lyr Add: BOOTS AS HEAVY AS LEAD From: GUEST,Steve Date: 16 Jul 02 - 03:31 PM I sing this song from time to time - but in the (possibly Bowdlerised) 'boots' version:
There was an old fellow called Anthony Clare
CHORUS: For they were large boots!
As he was walking down the street,
As he was twirling them round and round,
Little Miss Brown was overwrought -
The Judge declared the case was clear: Any interest? Steve |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Charley Noble Date: 28 Jul 07 - 01:04 PM Still no clue where this music hall/drinking song came from, other than my old mentor Dennis Puleston. Any further suggestions? It clearly predates World War 2. Charley Noble |
Subject: Lyr Add: LARGE BALLS / ANTHONY CLAIRE From: Jim Dixon Date: 31 Jul 07 - 10:37 PM Here's another version, from a web site called Drinking Songs LARGE BALLS (a.k.a. ANTHONY CLAIRE) Now, there once was a man called Anthony Clair He was a very fine jugulaire, There wasn't a man who could compare With the way he fiddled and played with his balls. CHORUS: For they were large balls, large balls, Balls as heavy as lead. With a dexterous twist of his muscular wrist, He could flick them right over his head. (Be-doom, be-doom, be-doom, be-doom boom, boom) Now, Anthony was walking down the street, Just by chance he happened to meet, A pretty young maid with a dog at her feet, Watching him fiddle and play with his balls. Now, Anthony swung 'em round and round, Let 'em go with a hell of a bound, Right on the head of the faithful hound, Watching him play with his balls. Now, the maiden, she was overwrought, Swore she'd take the case to court, For in her opinion no man ought To be twisting and playing with his balls. They took him to a magistrate, Who put him in a cell in state, And left him there to meditate, And fiddle and play with his balls. And when they took the case to court, The lawyer of the lady sought, To prove that Anthony shouldn't ought, To fiddle and play with his balls. The jury said, "It's a bloody disgrace, Exposing yourself in a public place, Whacking your tool in a lady's face, Twisting and playing with your balls." The judge and jury couldn't agree, And the judge said, "It's plain to see, And really and truly I cannot see, Why a man shouldn't play with his balls." Then Anthony gave the crowd a shock, Bold as brass he left the dock, Swinging his balls around his cock, Twisting and playing with his balls. And this is the moral of this song, If you play with your balls, you can't go wrong, So bang your cock against the gong, And fiddle and play with your balls. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Charley Noble Date: 01 Aug 07 - 08:30 AM Jim- The song lives on! But where did it come from? Cheerily, Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: GUEST,Lighter at work Date: 01 Aug 07 - 10:09 AM But was there a real Anthony Claire? (Not that he did any of this stuff.) It doesn't sound much like a made-up folk name. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Rowan Date: 01 Aug 07 - 06:28 PM In Melbourne, during the late 50s and early 60s, there were several variations in plotlines (the ones above seem to cover everything I can recall) but the chorus was invariably For they were large balls, huge balls, twice as heavy as lead, tra la. With a dexterous flick of his muscular prick, He could kick them right over his head. Ta ra ra boom, ta ra ra boom, ta ra ra boom, boom, boom. Cheers, Rowan |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Charley Noble Date: 02 Aug 07 - 08:49 AM Rowan- Your verse certainly looks like a logical articulation of the song! My old mentor Dennis Puleston (who was originally from the UK) used to follow this song up with what he called "That Bloody Great Kidney Wiper" which we children, still being relatively innocent, transformed into "That Bloody Great Windshield (Windscreen) Wiper" which we'd chorus loudly as we marched around the front lawn. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Uke Date: 11 Mar 08 - 03:09 AM Thought I'd add to this discussion because the song got mentioned in the current 'Filthy Songs' thread. Both the 'balls' and 'boots' version have been known here in New Zealand, from at least the 1940s. Maybe there is a relationship between this song and 'A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts'. There are a few similarities in the chorus: Oh, I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, There they are all standing in a row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, That's what the showman said. For they were large balls, balls as heavy as lead, With a flick and a twist of his muscular wrist, He could throw 'em right over his head. Or maybe it's entirely coincidental... |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Balls as Heavy as Lead From: Charley Noble Date: 11 Mar 08 - 08:26 AM Uke- You may be on to something, or not! After all, great ideas, as with coconuts, do not fall far from their tree... Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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