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BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool?
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Subject: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 16 Mar 01 - 02:28 AM I have just seen the re-entry path of Mir and to my amazement I found it is travelling over my house in New Zealand.If it fell in my swimming pool can I keep it or will the KGB want it back? Just a thought. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: tiggerdooley Date: 16 Mar 01 - 02:32 AM No....just be like a grumpy old guy when some kids ask for their ball back: "You want it?..." (smash it up etc) "Sure, here it is.....Haaahahahahaaaaaahhhhhhaah!!!!!" Just a thought.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: GUEST,chrystaldragon Date: 16 Mar 01 - 07:32 PM You must have a big pool or it will be soon. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Little Hawk Date: 16 Mar 01 - 07:42 PM I suggest you invite all the people in this world whom you really can't stand over for a big pool party. Promise them the sky. Offer them monetary inducements. Get them "spaced" on intoxicants. Then excuse yourself briefly just before re-entry time... Oh, and get the property insured! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Lady McMoo Date: 16 Mar 01 - 07:48 PM Well it would be a bigger heap of shit than usual to find in a swimming pool! (Just thinking about the turd alert not long ago when I took my daughter and her friend to one of the local open air pools) mcmoo |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Little Hawk Date: 16 Mar 01 - 08:11 PM SPLASSSSSSSHHHH!!!!! Well, there goes the neighbourhood. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: catspaw49 Date: 16 Mar 01 - 10:10 PM Suits me. For that to happen, I'd at least have a pool which I ain't got now! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Matt_R Date: 16 Mar 01 - 10:25 PM I don't know...there are a couple people I know I'd like to see it crash on. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: mousethief Date: 16 Mar 01 - 11:02 PM This needs a song. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 16 Mar 01 - 11:15 PM Thank you mousethief,mcpiper is writing one now. It will be in Hebrew,Arabic,Albanian & of course Russian.Any other budding song writers are welcomed to submit their songs.When the Russians have dropped their bit of junk in my pool, I will tell you what happened, just so you get the song right. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: crystaldragon Date: 16 Mar 01 - 11:26 PM As Little Hawk says invite the people you can`t stand.Being St Patricks Day on the 17th if you were Irish you would invite the British. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: dragonmaster Date: 17 Mar 01 - 12:10 AM Well fawlaks,when you hold your pool party,will my mother-in-law be welcome? |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: GUEST,pat Date: 17 Mar 01 - 12:42 AM I shore hope them fellars that are driving the thing know how to swim. How deep is your pool? You could be in court answering to the deaths of these people. For St Patricks sakes empty your pool. "Paddy". Happy St Pat`s |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 17 Mar 01 - 12:59 AM Being St Patricks Day I will put a great big pillow in the bottom of the pool so it will soften their landing. ps.I tried that & it kept floating so I filled it with stones.i hope you think that I`m eyerish. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: catspaw49 Date: 17 Mar 01 - 05:20 AM Listen FAW.....Don't send me the song, send me your pool. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Mr Red Date: 17 Mar 01 - 12:00 PM At least it would be set alight. **groan** |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 17 Mar 01 - 03:15 PM Ok Spaw,after it lands the pool will be to big for me so I will send you half. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Helen Date: 17 Mar 01 - 06:54 PM I keep thinking of the female pilot, perennially unlucky in love, in Northern Exposure. Her boyfriends kept being killed by freak accidents, and one of them died when a satellite landed on him. Prophetic?? Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: crystaldragon Date: 17 Mar 01 - 11:04 PM How is the guest list for the pool party. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: catspaw49 Date: 17 Mar 01 - 11:21 PM Helen, perhaps the reason you keep thinking about it is that I posted that same thing at the top of the thread! LOL.........And just so you can remember the whole thing for sure..............Maggie (female pilot) was the Check Pilot for her boyfriend (Rick) and noticed he had a color recognization problem. She turned him in to the FAA and when he was told by Joel, aka Dr. Fleischman, there was no cure, he was mad at Maggie and very distraught so he goes off into the woods to brood about it and with an owl as the only witness, he is struck by the satellite and fused with it. The funeral scene had Chris reiterating all of Maggie's dead boyfriends and Rick's highly modified casket, replete with antennae, being brought in and everyone cracking up as Maggie stomps out. In a later episode she erects a lifesize carving of Rick and at the ceremony she finds that he had another girlfriend and was living a double life. NOW........Can you list the number of other boyfriends and how they met their end? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Matt_R Date: 17 Mar 01 - 11:41 PM One died of food poisoning from spoiled potato salad on a picnic (played by the same guy who played Puddy on Seinfeld) and one froze to death on a glacier. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Amos Date: 18 Mar 01 - 12:58 AM Matt, you STILL have too much spare time on your hands! :>)) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: GUEST,Anon2 Date: 18 Mar 01 - 05:04 PM Save the guppies and neons first. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: crystaldragon Date: 19 Mar 01 - 02:31 AM ref |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Helen Date: 19 Mar 01 - 06:57 AM 'Spaw, are you in your own private parallel universe? Where did you write that at the top of this thread? If you did write it then it seems to have gone off into the ether - Zap!! - straight through a black hole. Either that or my literacy skills are sadly fading with age. Or did you use a different name for your posting - trying to hide behind the big green curtain again? LOL Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: GUEST,John Gray/Australia Date: 19 Mar 01 - 07:43 AM I'd warn the sheep so they can get out of the pool. JG / F.M.E. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: jeffp Date: 19 Mar 01 - 10:24 AM I think Spaw posted that in a different, but related, thread. I definitely remember reading it, but can't quite recall exactly where. jeffp |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Helen Date: 19 Mar 01 - 05:23 PM 'Spaw, get in here and explain yourself. Pronto! Do you want me to go over there and find you myself. You, here, NOW!! Don't you ever try to make me think I am going crazy again - I'm having enough trouble convincing myself of my sanity as it is - must keep taking the pills, must keep taking the pills...... LOL again, Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: mousethief Date: 19 Mar 01 - 06:59 PM The Ship from old Russky (Mir) tune: The Girl from Ipanema
Busted panels, hull is splintered
Oh, it cost millions of rubles
Big and heavy, chunks of titanium
Kosmonauts' eyes fill with tears
Cos the president of the U.S. Copyright ©2001 Alex E. Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 20 Mar 01 - 03:16 AM mousethief, what a great song! Welcome GUEST,John Gray/Australia.We don`t share the Australian habit of having sheep as friends.By the by do you still need a criminal record to get into Oz.Cheers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: catspaw49 Date: 20 Mar 01 - 03:41 AM Geeziz, what a maroon! Yeah I posted that on THIS THREAD about some other ULTRA-maroons who were paying to watch Mir re-enter. Spaw - Incredible Dumbass |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Helen Date: 20 Mar 01 - 03:55 AM Forgiven, but not forgotten, 'Spaw - er, what was I thinking about just then - I'm sure it was something really important....must take some more of those pills. Er, what pills? What are these little white things? Where am I? Omigod, what's that big thing falling out of the sky? Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Bob Bolton Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:58 PM G'day FAWLAKS, " ... We don`t share the Australian habit of having sheep as friends ..." What you may have missed out on is the fact that we Aussies crack all the sheep jokes about New Zealanders (where there are about 5 times as many sheep per person as in Australia). " ...By the by do you still need a criminal record to get into Oz..." And, as I remarked in another forum about the song (which I first saw here) " ... Was Your Grandma a Whore ..." - judging by the slang and lack of local knowledge, this seems to be an American attempt to gloss over the fact that they got all the good whores in the centuries that they were the dumping ground for Britain's lower classes and rebels. in our couple of decades as a convict repository, we got about as many convicts in total as we got immigrants in the first year after the goldrush. Regards, Bob Bolton |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Mr Red Date: 21 Mar 01 - 08:18 AM Bob Bolton. It's the damndest thing you know. All those Kiwi jokes you probably hear - well I reckon I heard similar ones in NZ. Plus a few I never heard as Irish or Belgie jokes. Or Newfie jokes in Canada. eg The yoghurt one and the Ozzie haircut one. Its strange how we compare ourselves with our nearest neighbours. In my home town in the Black Country we mostly told jokes about Enoch & Eli who were geographically placeless. PC or what? |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 21 Mar 01 - 09:39 AM Aynuk:Weer yo a-gooin', Ayli? Ayli: Oi ai be gooin' noweer , I be a-coomin' back. RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Mrs.Duck Date: 21 Mar 01 - 12:45 PM If mir fell in my pool I would be thrilled because it would mean I had finally become one of the rich elite able to afford a pool! |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Bert Date: 21 Mar 01 - 01:06 PM Yes Mrs D, but if Mir fell in it you'd probably end up as "One of the Delete"!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Mrs.Duck Date: 21 Mar 01 - 01:12 PM No I'd be on a cruise at the time! |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Bert Date: 21 Mar 01 - 02:44 PM Wise Woman! Just don't go to the South Pacific! |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Helen Date: 21 Mar 01 - 05:30 PM Now I feel a whole lot better. NOT! Final preparations made for Mir crash landing http://www.abc.net.au/news/newslink/nat/newsnat-22mar2001-30.htm An Australian emergency coordination group has made its final preparations for the fall of the Russian Mir space station tomorrow afternoon. Mir has reached its designated low orbit, ahead of its controlled plunge into the South Pacific more than 5,000 kilometres to the east of Australia. Australia's Defence Ministry has been communicating with the Russian and US space agencies as it prepares a national contingency plan in case Mir runs off-course on re-entry. The emergency group's director general, David Templeman, says Australia will have about one hour's notice should something go wrong. However, Mr Templeman says such a scenario is extremely unlikely. "It's important to make the comparison with Skylab," he said. "Skylab was an uncontrolled event. This is a controlled event. "The issue is that we're dealing with a very significant management-controlled situation here, compared with something just falling out of the sky." |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 22 Mar 01 - 05:36 AM A controlled event? I maintain Russian & Eastern Block Engineering machinery.I have just assembled a vertical lathe from Rumania.The thing stands 12mtrs high & 6mtrs across.It was built from plans.This was a controlled event.The problems we have had with this beast is why I wonder about this large shooting star I have seen travelling over my house at 5am every day.They say that after tomorrow I don`t have to worry any moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.Splash. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: crystaldragon Date: 22 Mar 01 - 07:13 AM Mir hitting closer to NZ Mir has passed the point of no return on its journey to destruction and Russian Space Control says the space station is now likely to splash down about 300 kilometres closer to New Zealand than had been first expected. The fiery descent is due to begin at 1820 Friday evening NZT and should last for about 15 minutes. Pat Helm of the Government's Satellite Re-entry Committee said despite the change to the crash site, the target zone is still over 3,000 kilometres away from New Zealand. Prime Minister Helen Clark backed up his statement, saying Mir still posed no threat to this country. The Russians said the defunct satellite will splash into the South Pacific Ocean about 3,600 kilometres east of Stewart Island. That takes its final orbit away from Fiji and Tonga and closer to New Zealand than originally thought. While it is not worried that Mir will hit New Zealand, the Government is concerned about a US fishing fleet from American Samoa. The boats have moved into the new target zone and the Satellite Re-entry Committee is trying to get word to the boats ahead of an expected crash time of 1820 Friday evening. "We are particularly concerned about the need to get this advice to a large fleet of American fishing vessels which have moved into the area," Clark said. "We are going to some lengths to get messages to the fleet." Helm said that they have direct contacts for five of the boats but are having to use other means to contact up 20 other unidentified craft. He expected the boats will get the warning in time. Elsewhere in the Pacific, Fiji warned its 800,000 people to stay in their houses after Thursday night, not to set out to sea and to avoid any "foreign objects". Japan has issued a similar advisory while airlines would be informed of the space station's position in case they had to reschedule flights across the Pacific. Tahiti was paying scant attention to Mir's fiery demise as the French territory was distracted by local elections. But government officials privately complained about Russia using the Pacific as a dumping ground, residents said. All going according to plan On Wednesday, Mir fell as planned to within a few hundred metres of the orbit at which mission control will begin to steer it toward Earth, a spokesman said. Mir's controllers had been waiting for the 15-year-old space station to glide to an orbit of 220km so that they can turn on its guidance systems and steer it back to Earth on Friday. A mission control spokesman said the station had all but reached the desired altitude, after falling 4.2 kilometres in 24 hours. Most of Mir is expected to burn up in the atmosphere, but some large chunks will still reach Earth at high speed. Russian officials plan to steer Mir into the southern Pacific Ocean to avoid striking populated areas. They will do that by firing Mir's engines to slow it down and send it falling at the precise moment. Officials plan to fire a first engine burst at 0333 Moscow time (1233 NZT) on Friday, followed by a second burst at 0500 (1400 NZT) and a final one at 0800 (1700 NZT). Fragments that do not burn up will collide with the Earth between 0920 and 0930 Moscow time - between 1820 and 1830 Friday evening in New Zealand. The external features will have burned off Mir at about 110-100km of altitude. At 50-40km, the station's main body will begin splitting apart into 1,500 pieces. Of the 136 tonne station, about 20-25 tonnes will smash into the ocean. Careening chunks will strike the sea in a narrow streak, only about 200km wide from north to south, but stretching through 6,000km of longitude from east to west. © TVNZ/Reuters
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 22 Mar 01 - 02:36 PM The safest place to be at 18:20 New Zealand time is anywhere in Russia.The unsafest place would be on a US fishing boat with a faulty radio.If it is so safe why don`t the land it in Siberia.A bit like the French tests in the Pacific.
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Devilmaster Date: 22 Mar 01 - 05:21 PM I dont know what the hell everyone is complaining about - If i were down there, get near the crash site and pick up the mangled pieces of metal, bring em home and post em on ebay! Make tonnes of money! You know how much some people would probably pay for a wrecked, mangled piece of metal? (come to think of it, i have some spare metal in the garage! hmmmmmmmmm............ gotta go! see ya on ebay!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 22 Mar 01 - 09:36 PM THE TIME IS 14.30 NZTIME - 4 HOURS TO GO THEN WHOOPEE! LADA SIZED SPACE JUNK & 1 CANARY..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: catspaw49 Date: 23 Mar 01 - 12:23 AM Well, looks like about an hour to go or so...........
H E A D S U P !!!!!!!!!!!Spaw (hoping for a free taco) |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 23 Mar 01 - 02:00 AM Well it`s down,my pool is intact so, sorry Spaw you still haven`t got a pool but did you get your taco? |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: BEK Date: 23 Mar 01 - 02:03 AM Used to work with a guy who was a garbage collector while getting his PhD in Anthropology. (Yep, he took a pay cut once he was through with his 'advanced' degree!) Anyway, he was commenting about working with a crusty old veteran when SkyLab fell. The man said: I don't give a @#$! where the thing lands! But, if it's on my route, I'm not going to pick it up! |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: alison Date: 23 Mar 01 - 02:10 AM Helmets off again... it missed us...... footage of it going over Fiji was good slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: mcpiper Date: 23 Mar 01 - 06:17 AM Here is the true reason FAWLAKS was concerned about MIR. The General's Revenge Now Fawlaks was a working man He had the common touch He knew of matters global But they did not matter much He owned a thriving enterprise The man was not a fool To beat the heat of summer He installed a swimming pool Now one of Fawlaks forebears The line goes back quite far Was a casual aquaintance Of a long forgotten Czar This Czar had spoken badly Of a Russian general's mum The general felt insulted Revenge was sure to come In the top floor of the Kremlin In an office painted bright Sat a decorated General A man of power and might He had vanquished all transgressors Had defeated friend and foe But there was one last thing he wanted Before his time to go. In generations past, it seems His family story went Someone had been insulted By a Czar with bad intent The general had a mission To clear the family name And find the family of the Czar Who had bought about the shame He got the KGB to start A worldwide person search To try and find a scapegoat Anywhere on earth The Czar had no descendents The line was long gone, dead So they found that poor old Fawlaks Should take the blame instead The General sat and pondered How he could now avenge And make our old mate Fawlaks The victim of revenge He knew where Fawlaks house was He would make the lesson hard He would drive the Russian spacecraft Right into his backyard But now we know what happened And how MIR missed the mark It landed in the ocean Watched by flounder, whale and shark The general left his office Disgraced, no more to rule And fawlaks evermore enjoys His backyard swimming pool. If someone wants to try and sing this, they are braver than me. Cheers |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: mcpiper Date: 23 Mar 01 - 06:21 AM Apolologies for going bold, forgot the r in br. What a difference an r made. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 25 Mar 01 - 11:51 PM Great poem mcpiper.Looks like the start to a new song as well. What a difference an r makes At the end of a line It makes the words bolder But to me thats just fine Cheers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Sorcha Date: 26 Mar 01 - 12:34 AM Great, mcpiper! But.........I just have a couple of questions.......Japan goes on Red Alert/New Zealand Nervous...Japan vs. NZ?? Did I miss something? Since when is Japan in the South Pacific? Were they expecting a tsunami?? Spaw, them boyz was headed west; if'n they go far enuf West, they kin ketch a freighter to the Home Islands an xplain that Japan is not in the South Pacific.........mebbe they kin even bring back enuf of that MirMetal to make ya'll rich enuf to do sum indoor plumbing, and mebbe avoid them flame-outs.......Flush first, smoke second! |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 27 Mar 01 - 12:42 AM A question to you Sorcha. Where was Japan mentioned? |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: wdyat12 Date: 27 Mar 01 - 01:06 AM Mir has crashed! Still there Fawlaks? wdyat12 |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: LR Mole Date: 27 Mar 01 - 02:17 PM If this space dingus co-owned by Russia AND Japan the MIR would have two faces |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Bert Date: 27 Mar 01 - 02:31 PM Missed! Dammit! |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 28 Mar 01 - 04:19 PM Yes Wdyat12 Alive & well. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: polesapart Date: 29 Mar 01 - 08:06 AM Carrickfergus I wish I could swim in fawlaks swimming pool. With M-i-r over head. It is a Chalenge I hope to keep But I`M Sh__t frightened it will land on me. Im Drunk today & I`M drinkinking more booze, To help me out through out beyond this day I`m still drunk now, my verse has ended So come all you poets And pen a verse. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: dragonmaster Date: 15 Apr 01 - 07:31 PM I saw a story in the news paper the other day that the Russians are making another "MIR". So Fawlaks old chap,it looks like they may have another go at your pool.I will watch this space in 25 years time.Good luck. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: Son of the Mill Date: 20 Apr 01 - 08:11 PM Gee thanks. Thats all I need. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What if Mir landed in my swimming pool? From: GUEST,#1 Date: 21 Apr 01 - 12:44 AM BEK, I don't understand. Why would a garbage collector want a lower paying job as an anthropologist? Social worker are about the only worse paying jobs. |