Any good snoring songs?

Subject: Any good snoring songs?
From: The Shambles
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 04:53 AM

My wife has captured my snoring on her new video camera.

It has been a topic of conversation in the family for many years and I can now see (and hear) why. The whole process is pretty horrible, but as I was asleep at the time, even through no one else may have been, the true nature of this act was not known to me.

Does anyone know any songs on the subject or have any knowledge of the problems involved or suggestions on how to deal with the problem?

Not going to sleep, is not an option.

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: The Shambles
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 04:54 AM

Do you think there would be any commercial demand for the video?

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Mr Red
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 06:47 AM

Stay off the alcohol it relaxes soft tissue (eventually that soft tissue as well!)

Don't sleep on your back.

There are patches and plastic springs to open the nostrils.

There is an operation that will stiffen the soft tissues that resonante. It is a cauterisation process that scars the soft tissue and gives mechanical rigidity - in theory. Not always a permanent solution.

Is this any help? And no, I haven't tried any of them.

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 07:57 AM

Not quite what you're after but here's one I do with my class of six year olds.
Our dog snores
With his jaws upon his paws
On the hearth rug
He does
He's big and loved
But very very lazy
When we watch the tellyOur dog snores
with his jaws upon his paws
On the hearth rug
He does

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Sarah the flute
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 08:29 AM

There is nothing to be done to prevent snoring. All men snore (well the ones I've met anyway so the only conclusion to be drawn is that it is genetically programmed into the male of the species !!!

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Helen
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 07:11 PM

Hi Shambles,

I share your dilemma. I snore more loudly than anyone I know.

I have had the operation to cauterise the tissue on palate and throat, and while I think it helped for a while it didn't last for more than a year at most. The surgeon also removed my uvula - the funny thing that hangs down in the back of your throat, loved by cartoonists for close up shots of people's open mouths while yelling. That made no difference at all.

Losing weight, if that is a problem with you - it is with me - may help because the more soft tissue you have the more it can vibrate.

A deviated septum may be contributing to the problem, i.e. the partition wall between the two nasal passages may be crooked. Straightening this surgically may help. I tried this too, but it seems to have made no difference. One thing the surgeon told me is that sleeping on my left side may ease the snoring slightly because if I sleep on my right side all the blood rushes downwards into the left nasal passage which is the narrower one and it is more likely to get blocked up.

Sleeping on my left side all the time caused cramps in my side so it works for only as long as you can sustain the position. I don't sleeping deeply either when I am half awake trying to remember to sleep on the left side, so eventually I had to sleep in the other room just to get a proper deep sleep.

I have been using the plastic strips on the outside of my nose every night for about 3 years, and they help a little bit but don't solve the problem. They would be expensive if I threw them out after a few days so I've got a system where I buy a roll of elasticised sticking plaster and re-construct the strips every few days. I bought one packet 3 years ago and am just about to buy another one.

I ordered a plastic mouthpiece form the 'net. It works to an extent, but it doesn't completely fix the problem. Part of the problem, I think, is that hubby is so pissed off about the snoring that even though he reluctantly agreed that the mouthpiece did make a difference, he was over-sensitised to *any snoring at all* and so an improvement wasn't as good as a complete recovery.

This mouthpiece could be the best discovery I have so made so far, though - plus losing weight - easier said than done.

I tried homeopathic tablets from the health food shop but gave up without a proper trial - a bit dispirited by then. I have also tried using anti-histamines, and they work a bit but not a complete cure.

So, there may be some help out there but I haven't found it yet. Still looking, though.

My biggest worry is going on holidays and having to sleep at other people's places and knowing that I am disturbing them. I have never been on an overnight flight, never been overseas yet, but that would be so embarrassing. I used to fall asleep on the train to Sydney when I was teaching down there and still living here in Nukes, and the looks from other passengers as I got up to leave the carriage still haunt me.

Helen

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Matt_R
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 07:14 PM

I don't snore! My family can attest to it! Maybe because I sleep on my stomach. Note: I DIDN'T inherit this from my Dad.

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Dave Wynn
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 07:33 PM

There is a machine that offers a positive air pressure to the nose and maintains the opening of the soft tissue.

Strangely enough two members of the Band I work with use them . Needs prescription in the UK and some expert help with pressures and fitting.

Spot

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Paul G.
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 10:05 PM

My friend, Jak Kelly, who has had his music recorded by the Kingston Trio, recently released an independent recording "Suite 16". It includes the song "Lee and the Gator" which is about another mutual friend who snores so loudly he reportedly attracts lovesick alligators down here in Florida -- If you'd like, Shambles, I'll put you in touch with Jak, who I am sure would be happy to drop you an MP3 of his song, or allow me to do it -- great song, compete with the snore.

Paul

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Barbara
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 10:07 PM

The positive pressure machine is used as a cure for sleep apnea which often goes with loud snoring -- did you snort and then stop breathing for a bit, Sham? Are you tired in the daytime, drink a lot of coffee, have trouble staying a awake, have low energy?
If so, you might want to get tested. My friends who use the machines tell me that they take some getting used to, but they make a world of difference to how they feel awake.
I think there's a couple different kinds of apnea, one where you hold your breath, another where you breathe too shallow but they both feature loud snoring, and not enough oxygen or REM/dream sleep.
Blessings,
Barbara, where the rufous hummingbirds are just now returning, and we actually have a Summer Tanager! wintering in Portland right now.

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Deckman
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 11:37 PM

Bride Judy snores and often wakes me. I usually smile and remind myself how lucky I am to have her next to me! If I NEED to get some rest, I just quietly sneak out of our bed and lay on the daveno with a blanket ... and smile and remind myself how lucky I am to have her with me. CHEERS!

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: aussiebloke
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 05:19 AM

John Williamson - an Aussie balladeer has a funny song called 'My Dad Snores' - written from the point of view of the long suffering children of a snorer...

My kids used to sing it with great mirth - I denied all, of course.

List of albums containing the track here, sorry couldn't find the lyrics at a quick search, let me know if you are really keen and I'll see what I can do - but I do recommend that you hear his delivery, as the written words alone might not convey the full agony of it...

cheers

aussiebloke

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 12:44 PM

Damn Deckman. My mother didn't lie when she said "All the good ones are taken". I, of course, don't snore - END OF DISCUSSION!

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 02:39 PM

Deck, women do not snore-- we simply rest less quietly at times. (We also don't fart, but, rather, poot delicately.)

Shamb-- that apnea thing can be serious. But if it isn't that, more frequent, more intense, and more riotously funny great sex is the answer (as I believe it is for all ills). It works at our house, or Hardi says it does. I would not know, of course, being asleep myself.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 03:10 PM

And NOT snoring, right?

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: GUEST,Fred
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 11:48 PM

I remember hearing or reading somewhere that someone studied opera singers and found they snore less. They figured it was because of all the vocal training, which keeps all that tissue in better shape. However, I just haven't got around to doing daily singing drills yet, so I still snore everyone out of the house.

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Helen
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 05:33 PM

The saddest thing about my snoring is that drinking red wine makes it worse. I love red wine.

Coffee and dairy foods make it worse too, for me.

Helen

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Kim C
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 05:44 PM

Well, Mister is skinny and sleeps on his side and has won the title of Baron von Snorenberg, sex or no sex! I sleep with EARPLUGS and I still can hear him sometimes. Once in awhile, I, too, sneak off to the sofa with a blanket. I probably snore too but in almost 11 years of marriage he has never said "you woke me up snoring."

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Bert
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 05:44 PM

WYSI! Sorry I can't let you get away with this one
...great sex is the answer......I would not know, of course, being asleep myself.

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Scotsbard
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 03:15 PM

Well ... I sorta figured that snoring evolved as a survival trait. It's pretty obvious.

Oh, ... you're probably gonna want an explanation of that.

Follow this closely:

1. People usually snore when they are asleep.

2. When people sleep, their eyes are closed, so they don't see beasties lurking nearby.

3. Some of those beasties consider themselves higher in the food chain.

4. Snoring is a big, low pitched noise, which beasties associate with big, dangerous animals.

5. Unless said beasties are very hungry, they'd rather not try to eat gig, dangerous animals (or at least people who sound that way.)

6. So those of us who snore really loud have survived, and the rest of you should be very thankful for helping to make our species a success.

*L*

~S~

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 03:22 PM

Hey Bert! What makes you think I did not write it just like I did on purpose?

*G*

~S~ (Susan, not Scotsbard)

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Helen
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 05:43 PM

You're absolutely right, Scotsbard. I expect to see an article based on your research in the New Scientist magazine very soon.

Helen

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 07:35 PM

BARBARA SAID:

"The positive pressure machine is used as a cure for sleep apnea which often goes with loud snoring -- did you snort and then stop breathing for a bit, Sham? Are you tired in the daytime, drink a lot of coffee, have trouble staying a awake, have low energy? If so, you might want to get tested. My friends who use the machines tell me that they take some getting used to, but they make a world of difference to how they feel awake. I think there's a couple different kinds of apnea, one where you hold your breath, another where you breathe too shallow but they both feature loud snoring, and not enough oxygen or REM/dream sleep."

The description you give sounds like me--low energy, sleepy in the day time, trouble staying awake. However, if I understand your last sentence, beginning "but they both feature", you seem to say that a sleep apnea sufferer is likely not to have much in the way of dreams. Is that right?

If so, that lets me out. BOY, do I have dreams! I have lots of dreams every night, often long-line, "plotted" dreams with a story line that can be told next morning. My Beautiful Wife says I ought to write them down and publish them.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 07:38 PM

Addition to above:

I didn't say it, but I do snore from time to time. Not incessantly, maybe not even every night. Also, not the shiver-me-timbers volume that some people do, as I'm told.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: The Shambles
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 07:04 PM

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Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: GUEST,Nick Costner
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 05:54 PM

Yes, go to songsaboutgolf.com and check out the "bonus song" called, Wake Up Go To Sleep. It's awesome dude! Great for the man who has a wife, or significant other, who snores.

Subject: RE: Any good snoring songs?
From: banjoman
Date: 27 Jul 10 - 04:43 AM

I once had the misfortune to share a room with the late Rip Ripingale - the only man who could fart and snore in different keys at the same time and did so constantly. I gave up and spent the best part of the night walking around Weston -Super - Mare. I wrote a song which goes to the tune of The Auld Triangle and the chorus is
"And he kept on snoring
right through till morning
so me I walked down the promenade"
Anyone want the words let me know and I will dig them out
I never snore despite my family insisting otherwise as I cant hear anything