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BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy!
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Subject: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Patrish Date: 27 Mar 01 - 09:13 AM Am I mad? My boss says that I must stop wearing earings to work as it makes me too stroppy. I think he is joking, I hope he is! Does anyone else find wearing earings makes them more agressive? Perhaps I am going mad, I have just read what I am about to post and I am going to post it anyway Bring on the men in white coats love Patrish x |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: alison Date: 27 Mar 01 - 09:33 AM don't know about stroppy but apparently it makes your eyes better!!! here's some trivia...... ear rings are through the part of your ear (usually) which in reflexology corresponds to your eyes.... so when pirates when up into the crows nest.. they used to twiddle their ear rings.. so they could see better...... you believe me don't you??????? *grin* I have four ear rings... 2 in each ear.... that must make me heading towards psychotic..... lol slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 27 Mar 01 - 09:33 AM I don't wear earrings but I am frequentl hauled over the coals for being stroppy back to stroppy students. After 30 years of it my tolerance level is very low! RtS (Curmudgeon - can't be doing with this new-fangled "Have a nice Day" crap!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Fortunato Date: 27 Mar 01 - 09:58 AM What exactly is stroppy? Perhaps the boss is simply saying you are a bit too truculent or possibly obstreperous? The earrings may be just a ploy.
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Patrish Date: 27 Mar 01 - 10:01 AM I believe you alison.......well maybe - I tried taking my glasses off and twiddling my ears - the only change is that my ear lobes are red! My horoscope said that I would be less woolley headed from sunday - perhaps its true! Patrish |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Pat Date: 27 Mar 01 - 10:02 AM Fortunato - Stroppy is a bit agressive and in my case voicing my opinions Patrish |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 27 Mar 01 - 10:04 AM Hmmm. Clothes definitely change my moods. I haven't noticed jewellery doing the same thing, though I only ever wear the same ring (silver, plain), watch (metal, plain), pendant (bone) and multiple earrings (silver hoops and an amber stud). Oh, and a silver nose stud. And a silver belly-button ring. Feck, I've just realised I wear a shitload of metal on my body. Shoes determine MY moods - big stompy para boots make me feel confident, trainers make me feel springy and energetic, heels of any height make me nervous and not very stable. What kind of earrings are they? |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Patrish Date: 27 Mar 01 - 10:11 AM Tiny pretend diamonds Patrish |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: alison Date: 27 Mar 01 - 10:15 AM geez.. fibula.. do you beep when you go through airport metal detectors?..... Patrish... get a pair of huge hoops..... or something really bright and gaudy.. then see what he has to say..... maybe they know they can't blame stroppiness on "time of the month" anymore.. for fear of sexual discrimination claims..... so they've moved onto jewellery..... just a thought *grin* slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 27 Mar 01 - 10:15 AM hee hee hee! Tiny pretend diamonds make you stroppy! Gosh, he's got to be joking. Wear BIG HUGE plastic monstrosity earrings tomorrow and see what happens! |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: SINSULL Date: 27 Mar 01 - 10:18 AM bE WHO YOU ARE AND SCREW HIM! sTROPPY, INDEED! |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 27 Mar 01 - 10:19 AM Ahh, alison - you're psychic, not psychotic! *BG*. No, I haven't set the airport alarms of yet! My piercings are small and discreet, and no one sees the belly button one but the Other Half - not that I'm prudeish, just that I'd dazzle everyone with my expanse of glaring white stomach! |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: alison Date: 27 Mar 01 - 10:24 AM ah yes... pasty white Irish skin... I remember that.... hahaha mind you come to think of it... my tum still looks like that....... lol slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Fortunato Date: 27 Mar 01 - 10:24 AM Patrish, I am more aggressive when I drink Bass Ale in the early afternoon. Are you having a couple of pints for lunch? Of course there is tight undershorts, that often makes me cheeky. Fortunato.
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Mr Red Date: 27 Mar 01 - 11:12 AM Patrish Try wearing all red clothes and see what reaction you get. It certainly is an assertive colour. YOU WANNA ARGUE? Why not get some big earings with text on them. Make em yourself. Write on them different things on different sides. Like MYOB (TGIF for the end of the week) or any other acronym you fancy. or better still put "U R an R" on one and "SOUL" on the other. It may take him a long time for the penny to drop. But then do you want to work there much longer? |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: alison Date: 27 Mar 01 - 11:17 AM so Patrish.. can we recap? tomorrow large gaudy ear rings...... a red power suit........ DM boots.......... and a lot of makeup.... you'll do it for us... just to see if our theory is right??? won't you????? slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Little Neophyte Date: 27 Mar 01 - 11:17 AM Patrish, if my boss said something that really bothered me because I wasn't sure if he was joking I would bring my concerns up to him. I would tell him openly how I was feeling and see what he says. Efforts like that usually clear things up. Little Neo |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: mousethief Date: 27 Mar 01 - 11:23 AM Sinsull, it's very dangerous screwing the boss. Which may be what he's after, you know. First he asks her to take her earrings off. Then her shoes. And so it goes. I'd never heard the term "stroppy" before. Is this a briticism? Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Bill D Date: 27 Mar 01 - 11:42 AM 1)you should have the right to wear anything you please that is not totally out of step with society... 2) this communicating with folks all over the world in the same thread sure does make us aware of what parts of our speech are slang and colloquial! "Stroppy" seems to have made several of us go 'huh'? While others reply as if it were part of Webster... I decided to do a search in Google, and got a LOT of hits, including this one! *big grin* ...perhaps you need a 'different' boss.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,dsfds Date: 27 Mar 01 - 11:44 AM dsfdfdfdsf |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: alison Date: 27 Mar 01 - 11:46 AM I'm worried about you Bill........ lol slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 27 Mar 01 - 11:51 AM Also "getting in a strop". From obstreperous I've always thought, unless the violent stroppng of a razor was the image. RtS ( a gentle sweetie really!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Fortunato Date: 27 Mar 01 - 12:27 PM Bill I learned a bunch of new concepts at the site you linked. You'll be getting a call from my guru. P.S. thanksalot. Fortunato |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Hollowfox Date: 27 Mar 01 - 12:41 PM Patrish, does your workplace have a written dress code policy, or is there language dealing with this in your work contract or job description? Are you a member of a union? I hope he's joking, but if he's not, I'd get some backup, if I could. After all, it's been sort of a strange year, so far. Good luck, Mary |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Morticia Date: 27 Mar 01 - 12:50 PM I had something similar happen a few months ago when I was accused of 'not being a team player'.On advice recieved from my learned friends here at the bar ( and if they're not at the bar, why not?) I decided to tackle my boss about it.Asked her what she meant by it, were there training issues or somesuch she wanted me to take on, etc. All done in a very professional and non-defensive manner but making it clear that I wouldn't stand for having remarks made that couldn't be explained or justified and were not constructive. She backed down completely, abjectedly even, and is now quite clear what my boundaries are ( or how much crap I'll put up, either one).I would suggest dealing with this in a similar fashion and seeing what happens. |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Rick Fielding Date: 27 Mar 01 - 01:22 PM Have a nice day Roger. Damn, I wish guys could wear "red power suits". Always thought Billy Connoly's "Bannana Boots" were pretty "stroppy". Rick (not a "power dresser") |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Bill D Date: 27 Mar 01 - 03:57 PM no charge, Fortunato...hope your guru has no plans for me...I have all the OLD concepts I can handle ..and Alison, worried about me for having an 'inquisitive nature'? *grin*...'tis a strange world we live in, huh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Sorcha Date: 27 Mar 01 - 04:07 PM Patrish, didn't you have a run-in with your boss just a while back? or was that Morty/somebody else? If the boss thinks you are "stroppy", get "un-stropped"--stop wearing a bra to work! |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Llanfair Date: 27 Mar 01 - 04:38 PM Patrish, it sounds like it's your boss that's got the problem, not you. I'd demand an explanation,If it were me. I've been a boss, and I know the pressures and insecurities, and I've worked for bosses who were totally impossible. Make 'em explain themselves. Preferably with the union rep present!! Cheers, Bron. |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: CarolC Date: 27 Mar 01 - 05:17 PM Bill D, I read your link. After that description I'm wondering if his first slave died of exhaustion. |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Helen Date: 27 Mar 01 - 05:43 PM Patrish, What did happen after your last run-in with your boss? I remember that you posted a thread but I don't remember the details of the situation you described. One thing you need to be aware of, so that you can either identify or discount the possibility, is workplace bullying behaviour. What your boss said about your earrings and being stroppy could be just some inexplicable connection in his/her mind and could be of no real consequence, but it could also be an indication of nitpicking and fault-finding, and that could also be an alarm signal for workplace bullying. I am not saying that it automatically falls into the category of bullying - what I am saying is "knowledge is power" and by knowing what workplace bullying is, what forms it takes, what the bully can get up to and try to get away with - and more importantly - how to deal with it (No. 1: keep a detailed diary of dates, times, events, witnesses of all events which make you feel worried or stressed or which seem to contravene fair work practices) then you will be in a much better position to work through the situation. Here is a quick overview of workplace bullying: http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/bully/bully.htm
On this page
What is bullying?
Why do people bully?
a) to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it;
And have a look at the info about Please, read this info. Take a suggestion from someone who has been to hell and is just clawing her way back into normal healthy life again. If I had known about bullies and how they operate before the bullying started I could have turned the whole situation around. As it was, I didn't find out about it until I had already lost my job and I was just working my last few weeks there. He screwed me, my life, my health and my psyche and he got away with it. Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: gnu Date: 27 Mar 01 - 06:03 PM stroppy = slutty, no ? gnu |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Grab Date: 27 Mar 01 - 06:03 PM Rick, we've got a guy at work who *does*. Well, not exactly power-suits, but he's renowned for always wearing clothes of the same colour. His main two outfits are a *bright* red blazer, jeans, socks and shirt, and the same in sky blue. And sandals over the socks. Needless to say, the guy's incredibly clever but a bit of a loony. :-) Grab. |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Noreen Date: 27 Mar 01 - 09:28 PM No, gnu. Stroppy = bad tempered/aggressive (or assertive to those who expect you to be a doormat..) |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Patrish Date: 28 Mar 01 - 02:48 AM A fuller explanation to what happened. I normally dont push my opinions at work, because its difficult to get a word in edgeways. I almost never wear earings. On monday I wore earings and I told my boss my opinions on several work issues. He linked my sudden found voice to the earings - and yes, he was joking. Mind you - I am wearing bright red today and I have decided to continue to wear the earings ......... I will wear them to the Jug tonight and see if they give me the courage to "sing a bit sang" love Patrish xxxxx PS Bill D - I live about 5 minutes from the person on the link you provided, but he definitely does not sound like my type! |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: KingBrilliant Date: 28 Mar 01 - 04:50 AM Oh Patrish! I think I'd have hit him! That's just so patronising to even suggest that you couldn't have been pushing your opinion because you were right - but that it had to be because of some arbitrary cause/crutch like earrings. Sounds like a way of trying to trivialise you. Hmph! I don't like him at all!!! Give him a poke in the back from me. With a sharp elbow. Kris (acknowleged & admitted stroppy bitch) |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Patrish Date: 28 Mar 01 - 05:10 AM He is not so bad really, He tries to wind me up alot, I did once hit him, but I don't really think it hepled. He is old fashioned and a bit sexist. He talks about womens work alot, but he washes up the cups in the office. He has a lot of good points - he lets me onto the mudcat in work time (when the computer is not playing up)And he is great about time off for kids illness and stuff like that. I once played a dreadful trick on him when it was his birthday and he took it in such good heart(got a singing telegram that was advertised as a roly poly telegram - turned out to be a fat dominatrix.....) I am not trying to defend him, cos he can be right so and so, but its not worth giving him sharp elbows. Patrishx He looks just like the head vampire in the film "the lost boys" |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 28 Mar 01 - 05:13 AM Who - Max the "real" Head Vampire? Or the cute Kiefer Sutherland we-all-think-he's-the-leader one? |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: wdyat12 Date: 28 Mar 01 - 05:22 AM Patrish, I don't care what your Boss says. I like stroppy! I think he was hitting on you. Watch out! wdyat12 |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Patrish Date: 28 Mar 01 - 05:22 AM Max - the real one, even my kids think he is the spit of him - one daughter has warned me not to invite him into the house! Patrish |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: KingBrilliant Date: 28 Mar 01 - 05:30 AM Oh, well now you're making him sound quite likeable! OK, so no sharp elbows. What about a little shove then, or poking your tongue out at him, or just rolling your eyes.... That ought to help. See, I've got all wound up now & no-one to elbow-poke. Hah! Gawd help poor Mark tonight when I get home with all this pent-up strop (actually, scratch that - it sounds too much like the fat dominatrix thing_). Kris
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 28 Mar 01 - 07:23 AM The dictionaries I've looked at give "obstreperous" as the origin. It is defined by Cambridge Dictionaries below: strop noun [C] BRITISH AND AUSTRALIAN INFORMAL a bad mood, esp. one in which a person will not do what they are asked and is unpleasant to other people Don't go in unless you have to - she's in a (real) strop. And why have you got (such) a strop on (=why are you in such a bad mood), what's happened? stroppy adjective BRITISH AND AUSTRALIAN INFORMAL It's no use getting stroppy - I said no and I meant it! stroppily adverb BRITISH AND AUSTRALIAN INFORMAL
stroppiness noun [U] BRITISH AND AUSTRALIAN INFORMAL ( Cambridge International Dictionary of English )
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Mr Red Date: 28 Mar 01 - 05:55 PM Patrish Is the boss reading this thread? If not, would it change anything if he did? |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Bob Bolton Date: 28 Mar 01 - 10:49 PM G'day Roger the Skiffler,
Of course the real explanation for BillD as to why he doesn't know the word
Regards(les)s,
Bob Bolton |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: hesperis Date: 29 Mar 01 - 12:49 PM Helen, THANK YOU! I was bullied in public school by gangs, and was wondering why I was only bullied by one person who I was able to deal with in high school. I guess because I wasn't popular enough, lol! Then my first "real job" was a horror of bullying, which I didn't realize was happening until I was let go without references. I was accused of stealing from the pop jar, deleting important, confidential files, and of not doing my work, just in the last few days of my contract. Before the boss went away for a week, leaving a certain person in charge, the boss was more than satisfied with my work, and I fit in well with my colleagues. In fact, I trusted the person, and took a few of her suggestions, which hastened the whole bloody mess. I fit the "target profile" given on that website almost to every item. The only difference is that I don't care anymore what others think of me - to a certain extent. I would prefer to be liked, but if I'm not, it's their problem. It was still very painful to be "the golden girl" and then be the "pariah", for no reason that I could see. And the person who stole the money is probably still working there. Pathetic! I really wish I'd known that before. I wouldn't have been so naive, and would have at least tried to cover my ass. But I really can't think in such a twisty, suspicious way, and so I have avoided working. I just can't deal with that crap. I'm not protected against it. I just hope that I can promote myself well enough to earn a living with my creative projects, and not have the need to work for anyone but myself. But THANK YOU! Because now I KNOW why it happened. |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Helen Date: 29 Mar 01 - 05:44 PM hesperis, I e-mailed Tim Field, the originator of that site, *so many times* just saying "Thank you, thank you" because I finally knew what had been happening to me. Whenever I was feeling particularly depressed and felt like a failure I would re-read the page about why victims are chosen and remind myself that the bully picked on me because I am a good person, good at my job, and because "I really can't think in such a twisty, suspicious way" - so then I feel much better. I want everyone in the world to know what bullying is and why people bully other people, and what to do about it. I want it to be a regular part of the information people get about work and life and school etc. Part of my slowness to recognise it as bullying was due to thinking of it only as something which happens at school. But I know that it even happens between neighbours (an 81 year old friend of mine has been bullied by her neighbour for a few years and there is nothing much that she can do about it legally or through other processes). In fact, one of the worst experiences I had of bullying at school was by a maths teacher who used to mercilessly bully the whole class. She ended up becoming a high school principal and recently retired after about 25 years in that role. Bullying rewarded! Our class reunions usually include a mass re-enactment of what she did to us. The good news is that I confronted the bully early this month after a public meeting, 8 months after he bullied me out of my job. I knew he would be there so I rehearsed what I wanted to say and then went for him. He didn't have much to say. The last thing he would like is to be confronted about it, well, actually the second last. One of the things I told him was that I had given all of my evidence and documentation to the General Manager, i.e. his immediate manager, and that I had discussed it in detail with her (female manager, insecure male "manager" with a fear of his own incompetence). That would have been the *last* thing he would have wanted to hear. I've figured out that demanding respect and exposing their actions and behaviour are the best defences against bullies. Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: hesperis Date: 29 Mar 01 - 09:17 PM Yeah. And I don't want to think in a twisty way either. So having an honest defense against bullying will really help! The site is bookmarked, and I will be returning to it again and again! I think part of the problem is that the workplace is an artificial environment much of the time. I get the impression that it is not humane, and people become inhuman trying to adjust to it. That's the other part of the reason I don't want any part of the "workworld" - it's not a world in which I want to live. I can create my own world quite nicely, thank you. And so I am also building support systems of people who fit that target profile as well. Hey, maybe I can get REALLY good at this creative stuff, and have them on my creative team, too. lol! So, from one integral person to another: *bows* |
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Subject: RE: BS: My Boss says I am too stroppy! From: Helen Date: 30 Mar 01 - 10:32 PM hesperis, I am now on the fringes of the working world, but unfortunately I haven't cracked the code on how to make money without having to go out to work. That is my goal at present, and when I figure that out there will be no stopping me. One thing I do know is that I am quite happy not having to go out to work. That's a nice change, because working used to be my prime focus. What I have to do is find something I love doing, that doesn't feel like work, but that other people think is worth giving me money for. Hmmm. Still trying to figure that one out. Helen |