In Memoriam for Many

Subject: LYR ADD: They Are Falling All Around Me
From: katlaughing
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 05:22 PM

Several of us have noted that the past year has brought a lot of loss to our lives, loved ones, dear friends, animal friends, and so on. It seems many of us are going through a tough time where we are constantly reminded of mortality and our own eventual passing.

I have just lost an aunt, my mom two years ago, another aunt is very fragile, and a couple of furry members of our family are now gone. Without meaning to be too morbid or negative, I'd like to offer the following song and poem in memory of them all:

They Are Falling All Around Me
words and music by Bernice Johnson Reagon © 1975
as heard on Holly Near's tape, "Sky Dances"

They are falling all around me
They are falling all around me
They are falling all around me
The strongest leaves of my tree.

Every paper brings the news that
Every paper brings the news that
Every paper brings the news that
The teachers of my sounds are moving on.

Death comes and rests so heavy
Death comes and rests so heavy
Death comes and rests so heavy
Your face I'll never see no more.

But you're not really going to leave me,
you're not really going to leave me,
you're not really going to leave me,
It is your path I walk
It is your song I sing
It is your load I take on
It is your air I breathe
It's the record you set that makes me go on.
It's your strength that helps me stand.
You're not really going to leave me.

I will try to sing my song right
I will try to sing my song right
I will try to sing my song right
Be sure to let me hear from you.

AND:

CHILDHOOD IS THE KINGDOM WHERE NOBODY DIES
Edna St. Vincent Millay

Childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at a certain age
The child is grown, and puts away childish things.

Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies.

Nobody that matters, that is. Distant relatives of course,
Die, whom one never has seen or has seen for an hour,
And they gave one candy in a pink-and-green striped bag, or a jack-knife,
And went away, and cannot really be said to have lived at all.

And cats die. They lie on the floor and lash their tails,
And their reticent fur is suddenly all in motion
With fleas that one never knew were there,
Polished and brown, knowing all there is to know,
Trekking off into the living world.
You fetch a shoe-box, but it's much too small,
because she won't curl up now;
So you find a bigger box, and bury her in the yard, and weep.

But you do not wake up a month from then, two months,
A year from then, two years, in the middle of the night
And weep, with your knuckles in your mouth, and say Oh God! Oh God!

Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies that matters, --mothers and fathers don't die.

As if you have said, "For heaven's sake, must you always be kissing a person?"
Or, "I do wish to gracious you'd stop tapping on the window with your thimble!"
Tomorrow, or even the day after tomorrow if you're busy having fun,
Is plenty of time to say, "I'm sorry mother."

To be grown up to is to sit at the table with people
who have died, who neither listen nor speak;
Who do not drink their tea, though they always
said
Tea was such a comfort.

Run down into the cellar and bring up the last jar
of raspberries; they are not tempted.
Flatter them, ask them what was it they said
exactly
That time, to the bishop, or the overseer, or to Mrs. Mason;
They are not taken in.
Shout at them, get red in the face, rise,
Drag them out of their chairs by their stiff
shoulders and shake them and yell at them;
They are not startled, they are not even embarrassed; they slide back into their chairs.

Your tea is cold now.
You drink it standing up,
And leave the house.

(My Aunt Margaret was a "Mrs. Mason")

kat

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 06:16 PM

Thanks, kat. Today is ten years to the day since my dad died, at age 64. And in January I lost someone very close, too young and too soon. So your timing is good, and your thoughts are appreciated.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: katlaughing
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 07:59 PM

Sorry to hear that, Mark, on both accounts. It seems weird to hear about someone dying on one's birthday, but of course such things happen everyday.

Thanks, again,

kat

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 01:07 AM

Nice thought kat. Thanks.

Rick

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 04:08 AM

Thank you, Rick.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Gervase
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 04:16 AM

Thanks for those, Kat. You're a good soul!

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: kendall
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 08:32 AM

...some of those voices are silent now and gone..Tom Paxton.

There was no time to say goodby...Tom Paxton

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 09:14 AM

Well, many years have passed, but still I wonder why
The worst of men must fight, and the best of men must die.

-Woody Guthrie

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 09:40 AM

Thank you kat............A fine thought and it has been a tough time. We are a fine community here.....and we do care, and try to care for our own.

Spaw

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: LR Mole
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 09:48 AM

It's hard to remember that it was not like this, once.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: texastoolman
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 10:15 AM

last week my best freid and long time pickin'partner killed himself i'm pretty much at a loss i wrote this

suicde saddle horn
of gabriel blow
my blues away-ward son
who autoo know better
than to do something like that
we all make a difference
in someones lifetime
to remember what and why not
of my making
it all work-out
of bounds out of time
to have another round
about midnight of the soul
survivors are the ones who
suffer and continue on
ward off the evil spirits
of yesterday is gone
but not forgotten
memories are what we have left
right now is the time
marches on
with or without us
goobby brother

thanks for starting this thread................tex

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 11:21 AM

Thanks for providing a release. I hadn't realised I was still grieving. Trouble is, I'm not sure if I'm grieving for my father, or for me, I've lost so much recently. This morning they tried to put me back on the happy pills. I declined. This is a far better way.

Liz

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 11:21 AM

tex, I am so sorry for your loss. If it is any help to know this, this place, the Mudcat, has helped many people through similar circumstances. Keep pouring it out here and singing some songs..eventually the hurt will lessen and you can tell us more about the man he was. Thanks for sharing with us.

kat

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: GUEST,Mickey191
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 12:32 PM

I'm sorry for all your losses, It is a feeling we all will share. AS the years go by some of us will stand totally alone with only our memories to comfort us.As we visit the graves and place our flowers we think of the empty chairs at home. Sometimes we tell them our little jokes & stories or sing a song to them as if death hasn't come and taken them from us. One of the hardest things is there is no one left to share our memories with.I'm not that old-all my people seem to exit this world at one time. There is no cure for the loneliness, atleast I haven't found it. Mudcat has helped though. Thanks Kat For a healing thread. Slainte Mickey191

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 01:03 PM

Thank you Kat. My father died the first day of spring 30 years ago. Somedays, it seems like yesterday. Tex, my condolences. I do hope your friend is at peace now. Unfortunately, the more people you lose, it doesn't get any easier. God grant you the blessings of peace, stregnth and friendship. Kindest reguards, Neil

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 01:26 PM

I hope there is a Heaven, and that we shall see those we loved again. But if this life is the sum-total of our existence, then those who pass away live on in the hearts and souls of those who loved them and whom they loved. When we need them, if we listen closely, their voices lie within us.

We are the accumulation of the events and people who influenced our lives. I'm reminded of lines from a Bruce Cockburn song

We get bigger as we go
Bales of memory like boats in tow

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 01:38 PM

Thanks Kat, for both this thread and the PM when I was a bit messed up by the loss of a friend. It's nice to know that people care.

Steve

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Joy Bennett
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 02:09 PM

Alison Kelley from The Johnson Girls and The NexTradition lost her sister Hilary the end of last year to a sudden accident. Also in the past year, lost to Alison were her long-time canine companion Amber and two loving cats (forgive my loss of memory on their names.)

This Friday, March 30, 2001, at 8pm Alison Kelley and Frank Woerner and friends are doing a concert in Hilary's memory at the Good Coffeehouse on Second Street and Prospect Park West, in Brooklyn, NY. All proceeds to benefit animal friendly organizations -- Hilary was an animal lover. This also pays homage to Alison's lost furry friends.

come on out and join us --there will be lots of good music and friends.

Joy

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 02:25 PM

It's hard to remember that it was not like this, once. A time when people you cared for didn't ever die? I can't remember a time like that.

Here's what Gerard Manley Hopkins had to say about it.

Spring and Fall:

MÁRGARÉT, áre you gríeving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?
Leáves, líke the things of man, you
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?
Áh! ás the heart grows older
It will come to such sights colder
By and by, nor spare a sigh
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie;
And yet you wíll weep and know why.
Now no matter, child, the name:
Sórrow's spríngs áre the same.
Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed
What heart heard of, ghost guessed:
It ís the blight man was born for,
It is Margaret you mourn for.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 02:39 PM

One of my favorite poems by one of my favorite poets. Thanks for posting it McGrath.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 03:06 PM

And very meaningful to me, for my Aunt Margaret. Thanks, McGrath.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: GUEST,DrWord
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 03:14 PM

Thanks, Kat esp. for the millay piece my wife starts chemo 2day thanks again

dennis

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: GUEST,_gargoyle
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 03:18 PM

Threatening message deleted - Bert.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Rollo
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 05:17 PM

gargoyle this is awful. Everything has its time and place. This is no place for cynism, but a place to weep together, for shared grieve is halved grieve.

Dear ones, I feel with you. Death seems so far away sometimes. When we are confronted with it we feel so helpless and alone. I send my love to you all. Tell me of your lost dear ones. Tell me how they lived, how they enlightened your days. Tell me of those little smiles, those moments of love and compassion, tell me of the way the sunlight sparkled in their eyes when they had a good laugh on a summer morning. And they will come again and touch you with a soft kiss on your forehead. We will shed tears for them together, but warm tears of gratefulness, for in our memory they will live on, immortal as a part of that grat song of live. And then you will know they await you to embrace you once again, giving you a warm welcome on the gates of eternity.

God bless them, and Jesus kiss your grieve away.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 05:24 PM

Thanks Kat for your kindness and for starting this thread. I too have been remembering some dear ones gone by.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Morticia
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 06:55 PM

Katdarling, I wasn't going to contribute to this thread because I felt the loss of my cat didn't even begin to compare to the losses that others have borne bravely over the last year and I didn't want anyone to feel I was trivialising it but the stupid and insensitive post from the gargoyle/gargoyle poser had the effect of making me feel that most of us, if not this sad loser, understand and truly appreciate your thoughts and support on this and I wanted to tell you so.
It has been a crap year for many of us and we have found commonality in turning for comfort and support to our friends here...and finding it in abundance.What riches, what unexpected joy in a friend who feels for you,touches you,lets you know they share your pain.And you, more than anyone are first with the tissues, shoulder and common sense.Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: gnu
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 07:07 PM

I will say extra prayers for the 'Cats passed and the 'Cats in mourning at mt aunt's funeral mass tomorrow.

And, I will say a prayer for gargoyle, as he needs it more than most, apparently.

gnu

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Mickey191
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 07:12 PM

Rollo, That is beautiful. Thank you. One line from a Millay poem which means alot to me:" More precious was the light in your eyes then all the roses in the world." The poem or dirge is about the refusal to accept death. I wish I could share it with you all - but Can't find the book.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 08:19 PM

Morticia, thank you, love. I meant it for lost critters as well and had several in mind, including your Pie.

Mickey, is this the one?:

DIRGE WITHOUT MUSIC

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, for time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely.
Crowned With lilies and the laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains, - but the best is lost.

The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love, -
They are gone. They have gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes then all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly, they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Amergin
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 09:35 PM

Lovely thoughts, everyone.....except for old Gargle's post up there......katdarling, here's a big old hug for you about your dear aunt: ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((KAT)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

And Morty, no one's grief is ever any less than anothers.....you would not have trivialised this thread by posting here.....

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Mickey191
Date: 29 Mar 01 - 11:44 PM

Kat, yes that is it. Isn't it touching? I drop a few tears each time I read it. Has there evr been a group of people who can come up with answers as fast as you Mudcatters? Again I Thank you Kat. What did you think of the poem?

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Mar 01 - 12:28 AM

Mickey, I thought it was beautiful, although it also reminds me why I plan to be cremated! I may wind up fertilising the roses, but it will be atop the dirt, not under.*smile* Thank you for the line of it, so I could go find it.

I also, though, try to be more accepting, in a Budhhist way, I guess, as I believe in reincarnation. Still, it does express those immediate feelings of loss beautifully, as Millay does with all of her subjects.

Amerign, that's the biggest hug I've had in ages, darlin'...thank yew!

Bert, thanks.

Thank you to everyone. Grief shared is grief lessened to some degree.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: wdyat12
Date: 30 Mar 01 - 01:06 AM

Thanks kat,

I have had many dear ones in my thoughts recently too, Rosie, Ray, Grampa D, and Dad.

wdyat12

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From:
Date: 30 Mar 01 - 01:20 AM

this is from a web site I go to now and then...since I think this thread was originally based on the death of the Israeli baby and a young Palestinian boy in the Mideast violence...from a girl in a refugee camp...could someone take these words and write a song..(I took out her name and location for privacy reasons)

"Hi, ,,,, I send you my regards with morning smiles to reach you full of roses and jasmine! I would like to ask you about yourselves, how are you doing, how and where do you spend your time? I am an Arab from Palestine but I am forced to live in a refugee camp in Lebanon, far away from my beloved homeland Palestine. I hope one day to return to Palestine and play under her green olive trees and run in the flowery fields – to me that would be freedom! If you ever wondered about the Palestinian children who live in Lebanon, let me tell you in a few words that we are deprived of everything, even the simplest things. We hope that one day we will have freedom and happiness just like you. I hope my letter will reach you and that you are well."

p.s. when you write the song (s) if you know how to write the music too could you do that...and I will send it (them) to them. mg

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: mousethief
Date: 30 Mar 01 - 01:41 AM

This is from a distinctly Christian point of view, but I hope others can appreciate it at least for the hope it expresses, and the gentleness of it. It's one of my absolute favorite songs about death.

SONG: Festival of Friends (4:40)

an elegant song won't hold up long
when the palace falls and the parlour's gone
we all must leave but it's not the end
we'll meet again at the festival of friends.

smiles and laughter and pleasant times
there's love in the world but it's hard to find
i'm so glad i found you -- i'd just like to extend
an invitation to the festival of friends.

some of us live and some of us die
someday God's going to tell us why
open your heart and grow with what life sends
that's your ticket to the festival of friends.

like an imitation of a good thing past
these days of darkness surely will not last
Jesus was here and he's coming again
to lead us to his festival of friends.

black snake highway -- sheet metal ballet
it's just so much snow on a summer day
whatever happens, it's not the end
we'll meet again at the festival of friends.

------------------------------------------------

alex, who has known loss and tasted grief.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Bert
Date: 30 Mar 01 - 01:34 PM

Here's one I wrote for Lou.

Your life's hard work is over
all the storms have left the sky
the sun sets in the mountains
and its time to say goodbye

you have been my own true lover
the time has come I know
you'll be part of me forever
though I have to let you go

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Mar 01 - 11:47 PM

Well, I guess I had better thank you for this lovely thread, Katdarling......

Here's a pint raised for Steve Tompkins who I just found out passed away this evening.....

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 30 Mar 01 - 11:58 PM

Maybe more than a few of you have noticed that I have been making some outrageous postings today. My good friend 'up-ed and died' and nobody told me she was sick ... she and her husband went away on a holiday ... they came home and she died ... didn't even tell their kids that she was sick! She was there for me through thick and thin and I couldn't even say goodbye to her ... if I seem pissed off ... it's cause I am. So...here's to you Pauline ... I will miss you.
LL

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Amergin
Date: 31 Mar 01 - 12:03 AM

Here's a hug for you, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((LL))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Cherish the memories.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: CarolC
Date: 31 Mar 01 - 12:39 AM

I'm sorry for your loss, Lyrical Lady.

I'm dealing with loss, too. I held my mother while she was dying a very difficult death on Thanksgiving day this past November. I was able to put off dealing with some of the stuff that comes with that for a while because I ran away from it and went to Canada for a month.

I can't run away from it any more. I have to deal with it now. I'm having a lot of trouble with it. Since I've been a member of the Mudcat, this place has helped me a lot during difficult times. I need the help of the Mudcat right now. I need to be able to come here to refresh my spirit and renew my resolve to do what is needed. But I can't because there are so many angry people here right now.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Amergin
Date: 31 Mar 01 - 12:41 AM

You have my support, Carol....and I am quite sure the support of a good many of the wonderful people here....

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: CarolC
Date: 31 Mar 01 - 12:49 AM

Thanks, Amergin...

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 31 Mar 01 - 05:41 PM

Thanks, Kat!

What's the life of a man?

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Morticia
Date: 31 Mar 01 - 05:49 PM

Carol, sister mine, pm me.....rant,rave, cry....whatever....I kinda sensed you had unfinished business...see it over with people who care, and there's lots of us dear.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: CarolC
Date: 31 Mar 01 - 06:14 PM

Thanks Morticia. The thing that would help me most right now would be if I could just read the Mudcat and laugh and have fun without feeling like I was getting slapped in the face every time I read someone's anger and vitriol in here. Whether it's directed at me or not. There's so much emotional violence in here these days. I can't avoid it even if I try. It's everywhere. It makes it very hard to have a healing experience in the Mudcat right now. And it adds to the sadness and grief I'm experiencing.

There are a lot of people who are going through difficult times right now. We can either help each other out and make it easier for each other, or we can make it more difficult for each other. Right now it seems like people want to make it more difficult for each other.

Thanks so much for your offer, Morticia. I don't need to rant and cry. I just need to laugh and have some fun. It would be so great if I could do it in the Mudcat.

Carol

P.S. Amergin... If Steve Tompkins is a relative of yours or someone who was special to you, I'm sorry for your loss as well.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 31 Mar 01 - 06:34 PM

Sorry! This is the clicky I wanted:
What's the life of a man?

Hope it works this time!

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: GUEST,jaze
Date: 31 Mar 01 - 06:52 PM

Thanks, Kat It's been exactly 6 months since my daughter and her two friends died. I still can't believe it. I've vowed to try to make something positive come from a senseless tragedy. Driving laws here in Va. have just been changed--largely due to that accident. I'm volunteering at the after the prom party( to give kids a safe place to go). Everyone here welcomed me and offered solace, and I offer my prayers for your healing too. Thanks. James

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Mar 01 - 10:24 PM

Susanne (skw), beautiful song, thank you.

James/Jaze...thank you for checking back in with us. I've wondered about how you were doing, many times. If you are able to find a copy, a book you may find helpful is "From My World To Yours" by Jasper Swain, edited by Noel Langley. It is out of print, but I was able to find it the first time I read it, at a library.

Jasper lost his teen son to a horrible car accident. The book was *dictated* to Jasper, by his son, from the *other side*. This was long before it became a trippy "new age" thing to claim such communication. I mention it in passing, no worries if it is not of interest and please do not be offended.

Thank you everyone for sharing and caring. This is a great community.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Amergin
Date: 01 Apr 01 - 04:03 AM

Thank you, Carol....he was my cousin.....

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 Apr 01 - 04:19 AM

Nathandarling...I am sorry for your loss, too. Lots of hugs and songs tomorrow in Paltalk, if we both make it in there.

{{{{{{{{{{{Nathan}}}}}}}}}}}}

luvyakat

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Roger in Sheffield
Date: 01 Apr 01 - 05:44 AM

I wasn't going to join in on this one.......
......until I read the post from Dennis (Dr Word)
I have a dear friend starting chemotherapy on Wednesday and it is hard to be strong, cheerful and supportive while your emotions are being put through the blender
Give your wife a big hug from me Dennis

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Amergin
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 02:27 AM

I am just resurrecting this thread in honour of Brett's (Naemanson) Nana and Andrea's (mouldy) mother.

Here's a glass raised to commemorate their passing....

nathan

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 08:50 AM

Oh, Amergin, thanks! I hadn't heard about Andrea's mom, which thread was it in? Andrea, I am so sorry for your loss. As you may know I lost my mom two years ago. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. Losing a parent is tough.

Naes, as I said before, your gram sounds like a wonderful woman; it is sad to think of her gone from this world.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 10:16 AM

Yesterday was Mom's birthday. Tomorrow is the anniversary of Daddy being killed by terrorists. I always feel weird on April 17th, between joy and sorrow, delight and despair, betwixt and between. My main wish is that I'd had time to say goodbye, that I'd known he was going to die. However, being with people who've had that chance has shown me.. it doesn't help. Yet I regret that more, sometimes, than I even miss him.

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: CamiSu
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 10:27 AM

Some time after a friend's mom and my dad had passed on, we were talking, and agreed that while the pain did not seem to lessen, it did hit with less frequency as time moved on. And since I do not believe death is an end, I am helped by the thought of those gone before, living and learning in a different room, ass it were.

That said, I do not think that I could stand to lose a child. I came very close when my (then 5 year old)son was buried under a stack of green lumber at a sawmill. The sight when we pulled the lumber off of him haunts me still. I literally shake, and he is alive, and for the most part, undamaged. James, my heart goes out to you especially.

To all I send love, sympathy, and support. I think it is the only way we get through this world. It's pretty scary to think of having to do it all alone. I have a fairly small group of friends, but I tell you, one hug at the right time is helpful beyond words, and the memory of those hugs is a great support when you are apparently alone.

Nathan, thanks for resurrecting this. It came along when I was away. (At least, mentally)

CamiSu

Subject: RE: In Memoriam for Many
From: Amergin
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 11:32 AM

Katdarling, yeah, she mentioned it in Brett's Nana thread....

Mrrzy, this day has got to be tough on you...feel free to pm me or anything, if you feel like venting....

CamiSu, that sounds pretty frightening.....as for resurrecting this...my sad pleasure...