BS: The No-Mickey D-tour

Subject: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: GUEST,Seth from China
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:30 PM

Okay, this is the kind of stuff you get into when you've been away from home for a few years. The question: Is it possible to drive coast to coast in the U.S. and/or back without passing a McDonalds? I brought a Rand Mc Nalley Road Atlas to CHina as a teaching tool, but now I find myself tracing routes and back roads to see if it can be done. I know. I know, It's kind of like the chicken crossing the road to prove to the possum that it can be done, but. Can it be done?

Seth from China

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:50 PM

Okay.....First define passing. I assume you mean freeway exits would count as passing since the MickeyD's is on the exit although not on the freeway. Makes it tough.

BTW, I had a friend who zoned his region by McDonalds.....16 McD's = a zone. It wasn't the food biz, but they do great at market research and I'll be damned if it didn't pretty well work out!!

Back to the problem......Set the rules as to what constitutes "passing" and I can get you across Ohio. I'll enter anywhere and leave anywhere you want. I think I can do Kentucky and southern Indiana if the route goes that way.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: Naemanson
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:37 PM

You can get away with it i Maine but you're gonna see a lot of woods and not many towns.

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: GUEST,Seth from China
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:39 PM

YOu start somewhere on the west coast/ I chose Washington,because that's the place I've been living most recently. Mc Donald's at freeway exits count against you, but if you drove into a small town, knowing there was a Mickey D there, but drove around it, that might count. So far, I can get from Raymond, Washington to the other side of the state, but all exits are blocked. So far. I think I need to look at a map of county roads. Idaho looks pretty tough,then I can trace a path across MOntana and the nothern part of North Dakota, but after that I'm in trouble. My goal is to reach my mother's house in Florida, though there might be quicker routes to the Atlantic shore. It gets pretty dense when you leave the Great Plains states. What did "Zelig" say at the end of the movie after he had flown his plane upside down? across the Atlantic: "There's no limit to the things you can achieve when you are truly psychotic"?

Seth

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:46 PM

You can in Wyoming, Seth.

Good to hear from you. How are thinsg going over there?

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: GUEST,LEJ
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 02:04 AM

Careful Seth. That kind of talk may be OK in China, but casting aspersions against the Golden Arches can get you in big trouble in the USA.

Seriously, I could help you on your BigMac-less pilgrimmage if you go through Colorado. Burger King is OK, I suppose?

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: GUEST,Seth from China (no friggin' guest)
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 04:09 PM

I've been getting these threatening e-mails from somebody named ROnald lately...My route if you want to call it that goes from Washington through Idaho, MOntana, NOrth Dakota, Minnesota, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia and Florida. I think. I haven't worked on the return yet. Burger Kings and other fast food places don't count, because I think that once the demographic of a particular area reaches a certain point on some scale, Whaaaam! There is Mickey D. first built, open and operating. IN this Chinese city of six million people where I live, no Mickey yet. BUt there are plenty of other fast food places and more going up all the time. YOung Chinese love these places and there seems to be no limit as to how many will be built, pushing the noodle and hot sweet potato vendors further to the margin. SO far, I haven't received any flak about the Hainan incident, but my friends at the Foreign Language Institute, which is run by the PLA, have called to ask about our welfare, and to tell us not to worry, this has nothing to do with what we or they do. So if we are being tortured, it's with kindness. But how am I going to get out of Washington State?

Seth

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: Sorcha
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 04:15 PM

East through the Palouse would be my guess. Avoid Spokane, and there's not much but farmland and little towns in the Palouse.

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: Naemanson
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 04:55 PM

You will wind up emulating William Least Heat Moon and do a Blue Highways!

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: Sorcha
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 05:03 PM

I've got an idea.....I think it will work for either a real trip or a "virtual" one.
Stick to 2 lane roads, or gravel/secondary roads.
Avoid any town of more than 6,000 or any town that is within 30 miles of a larger town.
Always avoid large, metropolitan areas.

For Absolute Verification, you could e mail or snail mail the local Chamber of Commerce to find out for sure. Even my town, (5,000) has a website (no Mickey D's tho)

Alternatively, perhaps you could write to Mickey Inc. and ask for a comprehensive listing of all their restaurants in the US........

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: Amergin
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 05:48 PM

there is no way you can drive through Spokane and avoid a MD...also avoid Coeur d'Alene and Sandpoint, Idaho...

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: GUEST,Seth from China
Date: 16 Apr 01 - 01:18 AM

Okay, it looks as if I could go east by way of the Columbia Gorge, go east to hwy 21, and then North to Northport and into a little bit of Canada, or east on hwy26 to Rosalia, then south and east till I reach U.S.95 in Idaho till I get to a small town named Potlatch. Places named Potlatch are always small. THey had a patriotic rally at our school today. Our Chinese co-teachers were too embarrased to tell us exactly what they said about the U.S. government, particularly Mr, Bush, but it wasn't complimentary. One of my students came back to class and he kept saying to me " Bu Xiao,bu xiao!" I couldn't figure out what he was trying to tell me, the somebody else said that is the Chinese name for Bush - Boo-shao-which means "little trouble" which transliterated into 21st centurt American means they are making a pun on Bush's name that calls him a wimp, a weenie, and a wuss. So far, not a speck of this shit has landed on us. MOre soon..we get through Idaho Seth from China

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 16 Apr 01 - 01:25 AM

Seth, could you tell us a little more about what you teach, where you are in China, and how you came to be there? I'm curious.

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: GUEST,Seth from China
Date: 16 Apr 01 - 06:35 AM

I live and teach at the South Ocean International School, which is neither in the south nor near any ocean, but is near the city of Luo Yang, which is near but not on the Yellow River in Henan Province in central North China. It is the most populated province in China, with 92 million people in a place the size of Oregon. I am an English teacher for 5th and sixth graders here, though in the past year I have taught 4th grade through high school and adult classes. I had been working as a manager for a program for people with developmental disabilities in Olympia, Washington, and the stress of that job, plus my time spent with addoptive and foster kids in my home burned me out after fifteen years so rather than die, I decided with my wife to do something else. So I quit my job, enrolled at Seattle University, got a certificate for teaching ESL, and after that all we had to do was sell our house, give away lots of stuff, haul lots to the dump, wait for some of my kids to grow up a little, find a place to put the dogs and the 5000 LP's for a while, pile up some money, find some place in the world that wanted to hire us ( not difficult) and off we go. We really love it here, even though we've had to shall we say adjust our expectations several times. It's been two years since I've not been able to find a parking place, lost my car keys, bounced a check, or called someplace and gotten recorded music on their answering machine -all the daily stuff that makes me crazy in the U.S. Here, I have to deal with frequent power crashes, really bad air, really low wages, hot water once in a while, no public library, no thrift stores,no movie theaters, no real book stores, a different language and culture and money system. We are going to come back to the U,S, in AUgust, but our plan is to return in a year or so. I just hope that things aren't so screwed up politically that we can't. I've now gotten myself through Idaho, avoiding Sandpoint and Coure D'lane through the Coure D'Lane and Flathead Indian reservations and connecting with U.S. 2 just east of Kalispel, Montana- Stay well Seth from China

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 16 Apr 01 - 01:26 PM

Seth, once you get as far as Kentucky, let me know. I assume you'll be traveling West to East across the state, probably drop down to Tennessee around Nashville, head toward Chattanooga and Atlanta. I'm a bit skeptical though. Even on the two lane highways in Kentucky which snake through all the small towns, there are McD's in towns of 3000 population. That means you would have to drive around the block in those towns or not enter them which would be quite laborious trying to follow small country roads not always marked well. Kentucky, however, has an extensive Parkway system, much like interstates, but not as heavy traffic, especially West to East. If you cross the Ohio River at Shawneetown, Illinois, I can get you to the Green River Parkway without going to Owensboro, then it's clear sailing most of the way across the state! Oops, there is a McD's at Leitchfield just off the WK Parkway. I would anticipate problems crossing the mountains if you try to go to the corner of Tennessee and Georgia. There are only so many roads through there, and best I rememeber, a McD's right at the top of the pass at Monteagle. May have to go through Alabama instead of Georgia. Are you sure you really want to do this? ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: GUEST,Seth From China
Date: 16 Apr 01 - 04:59 PM

Okay, I come into western Kentucky from Indiana at Hawesville( near Tell City). Then south on Route 48 to south of Fordsville, east on 185 and follow it as it turns south to route 70. East on 70 to Brownsville, south on 101 to Scottsville,east on 99 to Pumpkinsville (they're just can't be a Mickey D in a town called Pumpkinsville) and into Tennessee, where I have to squiggle all over the place to get over the mountains. Would this work? Seth

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 16 Apr 01 - 05:32 PM

Seth, I'm familiar with Hawesville but never heard of Pumpkinsville! I'll check the routes. There is an absolutely gorgeous overlook of the Ohio River at Hawesville. But I'm a little concerned about a McD's on Hiway 60 (it runs east/west) going through Hawesville. I'll get back with you.

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 16 Apr 01 - 09:51 PM

Seth, we better think about this! I don't see a route 48 (I'll check my atlas tomorrow). Do you mean Tompkinsville instead of Pumpkinsville? Same difference in my opinion *BG*. However, I used this handy-dandy McDonalds locator and found a restaurant in Scottsville and one in Tompkinsville. hmmmmmmm...

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: GUEST,Seth from China
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 12:56 AM

Hi Mary, I think you are right!It is Thompkinsville. And Scottsville. So. What I'll try next is to turn east at Morgantown on -it must be- Kentucky route 48, go straight east through Brownsville and Cave City, east on 70, south on 163, to Burkesville, and then south and west on route 53 to Celina, Tennessee, and back to my original route. Thereby avoiding the towns of S'ville and T'ville. On the other hand, if I lived in a town called Cave City, I might open a McDonald's just on the name alone. By the way, we just got back from visiting some beautiful caves in Hubei Province, I'll send you some pictures if you can receive them. I think that the state that will be impossible is Florida.

Seth

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: Amergin
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 02:03 AM

God, making fun of my name like that....how rude....

Nathan Pumpkins....

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: GUEST,Seth from China
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 08:11 AM

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: GUEST,Seth from China
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 08:19 AM

This reminds me- I used to have a road atlas that had two towns in Wyoming- Bright and Dull Center- that were about twenty miles apart, but now I can't find either one. I always wondered if the people in Bright say unkind things about Dull Center. Does anyone know if these places still exist or did they ever?? My daughter found Seth, West Virginia on the map and now says it ain't no Mickey D-Tour if we don't stop in Seth. Seth

Subject: RE: BS: The No-Mickey D-tour
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 08:56 AM

oops again, McDonalds in Morgantown and Cave City. BTW, Cave City is the home of Mammoth Cave, the largest cave in the world and a big tourist spot.