Music and Poems for a Funeral

Subject: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Morticia
Date: 14 May 01 - 02:57 PM

My dear Mudcat friends,
as many of you will know already,( and thank you for your support) my first husband, the father of my children and my dearest friend died unexpectedly on Saturday morning.I will not go in to the grief and loss we are feeling, I'm sure you will know without words what we are going through.
We want him to have a non-religious funeral and to read poems and sing songs that he would feel appropriate.He was proud of being Scots.He was a bomb-disposal officer serving in N.Ireland and many other places.He was a mad sod who liked bungee jumping and parachuting.He was a man who loved his family, was loyal to his friends and tried to do his best in any and all situations.
Can you please help me with any songs/poems that might reflect something of his life if you can think of any.Many thanks
Terri

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 May 01 - 03:19 PM

All our sympathies from here, sweets, and check out Rabbie Burns. Lots of good, appropriate stuff.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: GUEST,Karen
Date: 14 May 01 - 03:37 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I heard a poem once at a funeral that was very good. It spoke of a ship leaving shore and how it would be missed by those it left behind. The poem ends from the other side as it welcomes the ship home. I'm afraid I don't know the title but I'll try to find it for you in my notes at home tonight. If anyone else knows this poem, please post it. It is well written and speaks volumes.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: pattyClink
Date: 14 May 01 - 04:19 PM

You might take a look at 'These Are My Mountains' in the Digitrad...

A coupla men singing 'A Man's a Man for All That' might be appropriate if he knew or liked the song...

You might want to ask a piper to play a slow air, turning towards the end and walking away from the mourners, letting the sound die away.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: MMario
Date: 14 May 01 - 04:23 PM

Parting Glass might also be appropriate

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Bert
Date: 14 May 01 - 04:36 PM

Here's a short song I wrote when Lou died.

Subject: Lyr Add: WHO DIES? (James Keelaghan)
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 14 May 01 - 04:36 PM

James Keelaghans "Who Dies" is my current favorite song about death and loss... and believe it or not it's a wonderfull cheerful sing-a-long...

Lyrics to follow... contact me if you'd like an MP3 of the song...

Who Dies?

A nephew once asked me when he was quite young
Who dies? I said, Everyone dies.
No use denying it one day you're done
Oh, everyone dies
Princes and paupers there's no one immune
And no one who'll escape their demise
So you'd better make use of each day that you're given
Oh everyone dies

Now people have pondered this time and again
Who dies? Everyone dies.
We suspect that we're more than mere mortal remains
Oh everyone dies
Wise men and prophets they've all had their say
On the nature of our afterlives
But incase there's no beer there we'll have one more round
Oh everyone dies.

Your time may be short or your time may be long
Who dies? Everyone dies
But it's going to happen as sure as you're born
Oh everyone dies
Friends and relations and all we hold dear
Will one day pass to the other side
So we'd better embrace them as long as they're here
Oh everyone dies.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 14 May 01 - 04:57 PM

When my first husband died a student of his sent me this
"To laugh often and love much, to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded.'
R.W.Emerson

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Wavestar
Date: 14 May 01 - 05:07 PM

You have my sincerest sympathies, Terri. I don't know if I have anything to offer, but I'll think about it.

-J

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Matt_R
Date: 14 May 01 - 05:25 PM

"Just One Life" by Brian May...

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 01 - 05:25 PM

My sincerest condolences.

g

Subject: Lyr Add: HALLOWELL ( Stephen Spitzer)
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 14 May 01 - 05:58 PM

Morty, ask Micca if he has the Animaterra "Spring 99" CD- listen to the song "Hallowell". It was written by Stephen Spitzer following the loss of two close friends within a very short time. Here it is:

I thought when someone died
the spirit flew over furthest field
Now I see death will leave behind
(a scrap of light, a broken smile)
the remnants by which I might be healed.
REFRAIN The dead lift me up,
In brightest sky, the clouds below me race;
The Dead lift me up-
I see them face to face.

Held high by these strong hands
breathing the wind I am born again.
The mountain flowers, the desert sands
surround me now, comfort me now,
In death or dreaming I find my kin. REFRAIN

Our voices shake in song
for memories we have long endured.
Though this begins to make us strong
(the combing through of shreds of love)
It is through living that we are cured.
REFRAIN The dead lift me up,
In brightest sky, the clouds below me race;
The Dead lift me up-
I see them face to face.

I do hold you and your son and all your family in the Light and hope that you will find comfort in your friends and in one another.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: GUEST,vectis
Date: 14 May 01 - 06:20 PM

Sorry to read of your sad loss. As to funeral songs the most moving song I heard was when Ron Spicer died and everyone sang "What is the life of a Man?". The rafters rang with this goodbye to a lovely man.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 May 01 - 06:26 PM

Ah, Terri, big hugs and virtual snogs to you and yours, my puir darlin'...here are some threads which we've posted quite a bit to about this subject, one of which you started yourself. I am sure you can find some there which you might like. My deepest sympathies and I am sending all the love and energy I have to help you and the kids through this. BB, kat

What song do you want at your funeral?

Funeral tunes, songs that heal

your own funeral

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 14 May 01 - 06:39 PM

Condolences Terri - keep your pecker up.

Not appropriate this time, but I had the misfortune to be at the funeral of my dearest friend's daughter (who had killed herself). Mixed in among solemn declatimations from The Prophet, Macbeth etc, they had Kermit, of the Muppets, singing "It isn't easy being green." which had always struck a chord with the poor lass. Almost too much to take.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 May 01 - 07:32 PM

{{{{{snogs}}}}}

~Susan and Hardiman

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: kendall
Date: 14 May 01 - 07:35 PM

As Sandy said, Gordon Boks' Turning toward the morning. ...It's a pity we dont know what the little flowers know
They cant face the cold November, they cant take the wind and snow
They put their glories all behind them, bow their heads and let it go
But, you know they'll be there shining in the morning.

...if I had a thing to give you I would tell you one more time
That the world is always turning toward the morning.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Marion
Date: 14 May 01 - 07:39 PM

What a loss. I'm sorry, Morticia.

Since your husband was proud of his Scottish descent, you might like to have a lone fiddler or piper play a lament. If a fiddler, I would suggest "Neil Gow's Lament for the Death of his Second Wife."

With sympathy, Marion

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Dave Wynn
Date: 14 May 01 - 07:39 PM

I'm so sorry Terri......Caledonia is the only suggestion I can make. If there is anything....Just ask...

Spot (with shiny eyes)

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Marion
Date: 14 May 01 - 07:41 PM

Or maybe Loch Lomond. "You take the high road, and I'll take the low road..."

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 May 01 - 07:47 PM

Morty - I am so sorry. You and your children will be in my prayers.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: GUEST,Karen
Date: 14 May 01 - 08:01 PM

Terri, here is the reading I mentioned above. My aunt read it at my grandmother's funeral.

"Gone From My Sight"
Author unknown
I am standing upon the sea shore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" "Gone where?" Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me, not in her, and just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, She is gone!" There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!" And that is dying.

Also, on the Scottish note, my husband plays Scottish bagpipes at a lot of funerals. "Amazing Grace" is the one that starts everyone crying so if you have that, you may want to play it at the end of the service.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Helen
Date: 14 May 01 - 08:04 PM

Hi Morty,

Love and hugs. One of the best send-offs I have ever been to was a good old Irish wake. Lots of songs - happy and sad - and lots of chances to talk about how we felt, the good times and the sad times.

The two songs which come to my mind are All Through the Night (Welsh lullaby, but it is like a blessing) and ...sorry about this, I don't know if he drank beer, but...In Heaven there is no beer, that's why we drink it here, and when we are far from here, all our friends will be drinking all the beer. Another rollicking good sing-a-long song.

Helen

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Cobble
Date: 14 May 01 - 08:25 PM

The poem Karen asked about . The Journey of life.

What is dying?

A ship sails and I stand watching until she fades on the Horizon, and someone at my side says "She is gone" .

Gone where? Gone from my sight,

that is all; she is just as large as when I saw her....

The diminished size and total

loss of sight is within me,

not in her,

and just at the moment when

someone at my side says,

"she is gone",

there are others who are watching her coming,

and other voices take up the glad shout,

"there she comes! ",,,,,

and that is dying.

By Bishop Brent.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: John Routledge
Date: 14 May 01 - 08:32 PM

Take Care Terri.

Thinking of you all in the hope that my thoughts may be some small comfort. John

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Amergin
Date: 14 May 01 - 11:37 PM

I am so sorry to hear about this, Terri...

Here's a big hug from Oregon for ya...

(((((((((((((((((((((Terri))))))))))))))))))))

As for songs...well I would have suggested so long its been good to know you....but that might be a bit inappropriate...

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From:
Date: 15 May 01 - 01:17 AM

Maybe the one by Ewan McColl...fare well my chicks etc....it is very beautiful. mg

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: DancingMom
Date: 15 May 01 - 01:28 AM

Holding you and your family in my heart tonight. We just said goodbye to my father-in-law last week.My grandfather's favorite was "The Tennessee Waltz", so it was played, beautifully, at his funeral. I'll never forget it. What were your first husband's favorites? Maybe one of them would be appropriate. Take care. Sharon

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 May 01 - 01:57 AM

No thoughts for songs that aren't already on the threads kat linked........but still sending the best thoughts for you. Best As Always......

Spaw

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: roopoo
Date: 15 May 01 - 02:55 AM

I'm glad Cobble has posted the words. We had "What is Dying" read at my niece's memorial service as my brother-in-law had said he found it comforting.

My deepest sympathies are with you. Like several others I am also recently bereaved, but nothing can compare with the loss of your life-partner. You will, I'm sure, find an inner strength to carry you through the immediate future, but never forget that friends, even those you haven't met yet, are there for you.

Andrea

Subject: Lyr Add: WHEN A KNIGHT WON HIS SPURS (Jan Struther
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 15 May 01 - 03:47 AM

Its difficult to put into words the comfort that I want to give you and your family. Its a hard time and eventually its not so hard, I know that sounds daft - sorry.
I am totally non religious, but one hymn/song that I really like is this one

When a knight won his spurs, in the stories of old,
He was gentle and brave, he was gallant and bold;
With a shield on his arm and a lance in his hand
For God and for valour he rode through the land.

No charger have I, and no sword by my side,
Yet still to adventure and battles I ride,
Though back into storyland giants have fled,
And the knights are no more and the dragons are dead.

Let faith be my shield and let joy be my steed
'Gainst the dragons of anger, the ogres of greed;
And let me set free, with the sword of my youth,
From the castle of darkness the power of the truth.

Terri, my thoughts are with you
love
Patrish xx

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Gervase
Date: 15 May 01 - 04:53 AM

All the best, my dear mucker, in a crappy time - but at least, looking at the suggestions above, you've got the makings of a hell of a send off for David.
As a poem, I rather like the song from Cymbeline, "Fear No More the Heat o' the Sun," which I read at my mother's funeral and have heard a couple of times since.
As for songs, there are plenty, but two I love are the old Sankey hymn (which is religious, but which has glorious harmonies - certainly when given the Waterson/Carthy treatment) "Sleep on Beloved", or the non-religious hymn "Only Remembered" (but maybe without the fourth verse by John Tams).
E-mail me if you want the words, or if you just want to let off steam. Thinking of you...
GW
XXX
PS: This proves you were right and I was wrong in our views on this place being a community. I take it all back.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:05 AM

Really sorry to hear that. He sounds like a really nice bloke who will be sorely missed.
Deepest sympathy

Kris

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:17 AM

Just a couple of thoughts..
When We Go Rolling Home could be very uplifting & get everyone singing
Days (Ray Davies) has some lovely words that would be appropriate to saying goodbye to someone that you won't forget and whose company you enjoyed.

Kris

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: GUEST,Kernow John
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:37 AM

Morty
So sorry to hear your sad news. Hang on, for all our thoughts and prayers are with you.
As far as a song goes Marion and I have been asked to sing Somewhere Along the Road (Rick Kemp / Maddy prior) at a couple of funerals, people say the words are comforting to them.
You sound like a family who's love will give you the strength to pull through, so may this sad time quickly pass and the good memories live on.
KJ

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 15 May 01 - 07:25 AM

Morticia, I'm so sorry to hear of you and your children's loss. My thoughts are with you.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Morticia
Date: 15 May 01 - 09:40 AM

My dear friends, thank you all so much.My heart is too full right now for much in the way of words but your kindness and support mean the world to me.

Subject: Lyr Add: REQUIEM (Robert Louis Stevenson)
From: Uncle Jaque
Date: 15 May 01 - 11:18 AM

Our condolences, Morticia, on the loss of your Beloved David.

As it happens, I have been asked to conduct the music for a Family Friend's committal service in the mountains of NH this Sat. (05/19/01). One of his favorite poems was R.L. Stevenson's "Requiem" (below), which I have set to music for the occasion, and recently recorded.

Requiem
by Robert Louis Stevenson

Under the wide and starry sky
Dig the grave and let me lie:
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.
This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he long'd to be;
Home is the sailor, home from the sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.

***************************

In the course of similar duty for a Reenactor Friend's Mother, I did "Homeward Bound" from an 1864 Sailor's Hymnal (Christian content) and a favorite of my Wife's family, "Crossing The Bar" by Alfred L. Tennyson. The poem is by his request always found at the very end of any collection of his works, and is his personal Requiem.
I have the score for it and have worked out guitar chords, but it is a challenging piece with irregular time (a friend identified it as an early form of "ragtime", although it plays like a slow air) and key shifts. Well done, it is very pretty. I think I recall posting it some time ago so run a search if interested.

I concur with previous suggestion for "Parting Glass"; I would use it if requested for a "religion free" service.

One I frequently play on the low "G" wooden flute in memoriam is "Going Home" and the old reliable as previously mentioned "Amazing Grace" to bring solemn closure to the event.
May whatever Light you are open to receive attend you and your Family through this season of dark passage, and bring you ultimate Peace.

Subject: Lyr Add: CROSSING THE BAR (Alfred L. Tennyson)
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 May 01 - 12:04 PM

Uncle Jaque, you've sparked my memory. My grandparents and aunts and uncles all had CROSSING THE BAR on their printed memorials. I've always thought it was such a beautiful poem, but had forgotten about it.

Just in case you want to use it, Mortee, here it is, to save you some time:

CROSSING THE BAR

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.

kat

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Morticia
Date: 15 May 01 - 12:50 PM

Thank you everyone.The funeral will be on 24th May, would people like to know what was eventually chosen when it happens?

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: LR Mole
Date: 15 May 01 - 01:01 PM

Don't know if this is in the thread (I might have put it there, I guess), but "Secret Gardens of the Heart" from Judy Collins "True Stories" album always gets me :...that's me at the wedding, that's me at the grave, dressed up like those people who once looked so grownup and brave.."I wouldn't try singing it, though, myself. I'd never make it through. Strength to ya, from Rhode Island.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 15 May 01 - 01:05 PM

Yes, Terri, since most of us can't be there to hug you and show our support in person, if you'd like it would be nice to "hear" the music you choose.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: mousethief
Date: 15 May 01 - 01:06 PM

My sincerest condolences, Terri. May his memory be eternal. I have no songs to offer, for which I apologize.

Alex

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 15 May 01 - 01:33 PM

Yes do let us know Terri. We will all be with you in spirit.
Jane and Geoff

Subject: Lyr Add: AE FOND KISS (Robert Burns)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 May 01 - 01:55 PM

Morticia,

Hearing this from a CD just now in Seamus Kennedy's deep, healing voice, which has always brought me a peaceful release of grief, I thought of you. It's from the DT, but I've edited a verse or so out to fit.

~Susan

AE FOND KISS
(Robert Burns)
tune: Rory Dall's Port (337)

Ae fond kiss, and then we sever!
Ae farewell, and then forever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,
Warring sighs and goans I'll wage thee.

Who shall say that Fortune grieves us,
While the star of hope shall leave us?
Me... nae cheerful twinkle lights me,
Dark despair around benights me.

Had we never lov'd sae kindly,
Had we never lov'd sae blindly,
Never met - or never parted -
We had ne'er been broken-hearted.

Fare-thee-weel, thou first and fairest!
Fare-thee-weel, thou best and dearest!
Thine be every joy and treasure,
Peace, Enjoyment, Love and Pleasure!

Ae fond kiss, and then we sever!
Ae farewell, alas, for ever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,
Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Deni
Date: 15 May 01 - 03:12 PM

when my mum died, I found the pipes said it all. I could almost feel the thoughts of all the people at the funeral, and the pipes were more uplifting than hymns would have been , because when the singers are too emotional, singing is sometimes very painful. Another thing I love is harmony singing. Something uplifting. We're with you in spirit. Love, Deni.

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Diva
Date: 15 May 01 - 03:47 PM

Hugs to you and yours Morty. There are many wonderful pipe tunes and pibrochs. Floors o' the Forest and Macrimmons Lament are both stunning tunes..both with words..as i'm sure know. When a dear friend of ours died my father in law played the "Floor o' the Quern".....amazing... Songs...well...Burns is always appropriate. Love and hugs Kathy

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Sue vG
Date: 15 May 01 - 06:02 PM

We are very sorry for your loss. We were asked to sing at a funeral of a dear friend just after Christmas. I sang the Irish Blessing :- May the road rise up to meet you May the wind be always at your back May the sun shine warm upon your face May the rain fall soft upon your fields

Until we meet again, until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand Until we meet again, until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand May the stones stand firm to shelter you May your fire burn warm within your hearth May your friends bring comfort to your home May your music ring within it's walls

Until we meet again, until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand Until we meet again, until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand

Bob sang The Farewell Shanty (It's time to go now)

Sue

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Jacob B
Date: 16 May 01 - 12:42 AM

To the tune of MacPherson's Lament:

He was the father of my babes
He was my dearest friend
He took great joy in risking his life
Who knew it would suddenly end?

Chorus:
So laughingly, so lustily, and so gustily lived he
We'll sing this song as he lived his life
And he lived it joyously

He was a loving father and mate
And a loyal friend clear through
And he tried to do the best he could
At whatever he tried to do

He risked his life disarming bombs
And when his work was done
Jumping from a plane or off a bridge
Was his idea of fun

I hope this is of use to you, Terri. You've had a rough year. May happy times come for you and yours.

Jacob

Subject: RE: Music and Poems for a Funeral
From: Barry T
Date: 16 May 01 - 12:54 AM

At times like this I am always in awe of the outpouring of sympathy and support from fellow Mudcatters... perhaps evidence of the 'best of the Net'. Though totally inadequate, I offer my prayers and condolences along with those of my colleagues.

You have received some really wonderful suggestions for music and the written word. As a piper, I would recommend Going Home or Hector the Hero... either on the pipes or on the fiddle. Both are truly evocative tunes when played with emotion.