seeking funny Orange Order songs

Subject: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: Shields Folk
Date: 14 May 01 - 07:17 PM

Well I'm all for a balanced argument!

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: bill\sables
Date: 14 May 01 - 07:38 PM

Old Orange Flute is one of the funnier ones

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 May 01 - 09:16 PM

It's actually quite funny, and I'd be interested in any others!

Since this is turning into something else, the Clancy Brothers (see,it's still musical) tell that story about You're a Protestant, you're not a Catholic (or was it you're a Catholic, you're not a Protestant?) - if somebody reminds me who can't eat what on Fridays, I'll remember the joke...

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: InOBU
Date: 14 May 01 - 10:18 PM

A wee maun lived in a catholic neighborhood, and finally (to cut the joke short, ) married a Catholic wife so, of course he learned his caticisms dead fast, but after the novelty of the marrige wore off, (about a week) friday comes around and the priest goes to see how they are doin, and doesnt he see the wife sitting on the doorstep, and she says, he through me out of the kitchen because he wants a steak. Well, says he to the priest who comes in to see what the matter is, I don't feel much like a catholic. Well, that is too be expected, says the priest, you have been a protistant all yer life, and when you feel that way, just tell yerself over and over, I am not a protestant I am a catholic, and dosent he go to see them the next week and the same thing, herself on the doorstep, and so he peeks into the kitchen window, and there is the man frying a steak, and saying, I am not a protestant I am a catholic, yer not a steak yer a piece of fish... (the lightning quick version!)

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: alison
Date: 14 May 01 - 11:12 PM

orange and the green

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: alison
Date: 14 May 01 - 11:15 PM

and this one from Micca

the hash my father scored.... OK so its not an orange order song.. but it is set to 2 of the most famous orange tunes - "the sash" and "the green grassy slope of the Boyne"....

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: Gervase
Date: 15 May 01 - 04:38 AM

Not exactly a song per se, but I remember covering the 12th of July marches down the Lower Ormeau Road (and there was very little funny about them and the swaggering triumphalism directed against the Catholic residents) when one Orange panjandrum came over to us accompanied by two immaculately dressed black guys, resplendent in black suits, bowlers and collarettes and carrying furled umbrellas.
"I just wanted to show you," he said with a great show of gravitas, "just how free of discrimination we are as an Order. These are two loyal brothers from a lodge in Ghana, and they are as welcome to march with us today as anyone."
Fine sentiments indeed, but somewhat spoiled by the capering antics of a teenaged drummer from a Paisley band, who was jumping up and down behind the silent Ghanaians and singing to the tune of the old Simon and Garfunkel number: "I'd rather be a nigger than a Taig..."

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 15 May 01 - 04:53 AM

Alison, that reminds me that the one-time hard man of British football, Derek Dougan, who was born in the north, called his book The Sash I Never Wore.

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: manitas_at_work
Date: 15 May 01 - 07:21 AM

There was an updated version of the Old Orange Flute called the Old Fenian Gramophone about a second hand gramophone that turns up in a lodge hall.

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: GUEST
Date: 15 May 01 - 07:40 AM

Folks here should rent the black comedy "No Surrender" - set in a mob-run Liverpool night club where the new manager has had a party of Orange Lodge pensioners double booked with an Irish catholic pensioners party in fancy dress double booked. People include a former boxer who is blind, and a guy on the run from the police.

Cabaret acts include Elvis Costello as a bad and nervous magician (whose white rabbit died in his hat), a punk band and some really bad comedians - also a not too smart bouncer.

You also witness the clash of orange and green songs.

Rana

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: GUEST,re Ghanans
Date: 15 May 01 - 07:45 AM

Yeah I once did a tour of LE work and there was a case of an old lady mysteriously passed on, it turned out she was attended by one of these Ghanans - we think he put a pillow over her face as if to smother her but did not do the deed, however she died of a heart attack.

Not funny I know but if you think they are not well documented here, you'd be mad wrong.

Scoti Abu

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 15 May 01 - 08:33 AM

There is a VERY un-PC comic detective novel by Ruth Dudley Edwards called The Anglo-Irish Murders, set at a peace conference, which manages to take the mickey out of all sides equally and in which the Irish characters frequently insult their comrades from other areas of the Republic. The anti-heroine is an old-fashioned no-nonsense lady peer (probably modelled on Baroness "Trixie" Trumpington) who insults everyone, friend or foe (but solves the murders!)
RtS

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 15 May 01 - 08:54 AM

I once heard of a man walking through ... well, choose your Irish city street ... He walks into a dark alley, where he's grabbed roughly from behind; something that might be the barrel of a pistol is pushed against the back of his head, and a harsh voice whispers "You a Protesrtant or a Catholic?"

Our man relaxes and replies, "Actually, I'm a Jew!"

Harsh whisper: "I must be the luckiest Arab in [name of city] tonight!"

You make it rhyme, I'll set it to music!

Steve

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: Wolfgang
Date: 15 May 01 - 09:15 AM

for manitas: Fenian Record Player

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: Wolfgang
Date: 15 May 01 - 10:14 AM

Well, I came here today with the intention to ask for a not at all funny loyalist song, but I think I better wait with that request.

I ask for a more funny one (but not a good one) instead:

"Who do you think you're kidding, Mr. Trimble?" to the tune of 'Who do you think you're kidding, Mr. Hitler'.

And a joke from the same book (Susan McKay, Northern Protestants) that has led me to the above lyrics request:

Why did the chicken want to cross Garvaghy Road? Because its feathers have crossed it before.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: Big Tim
Date: 15 May 01 - 12:04 PM

What about "Dolly's Brae"? The lyrics are so bad they are funny.

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: Seany
Date: 15 May 01 - 01:42 PM

Something I heard on the radio years ago trying to illustrate the insular nature of the some of the people in Belfast -

Two boys on a bus in Belfast ask the Asian-looking boy behind whether he is a Protestant or a Catholic

"I'm a Moslem' he replies

They follow-up with,

"But are you a Catholic Moslem or a Protestant Moslem ?"

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 16 May 01 - 09:19 AM

I've just discovered that Ruth Dudley Evans, who wrote the novel referred to in my earlier thread, has written a fair, if not uncritical, book on the Orange Orders (she is a Dublin Catholic)which might interest students of the conflict.
The Faithful Tribe, Harper Collins , 2000.
RtS

Subject: RE: seeking funny Orange Order songs
From: Big Tim
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:12 AM

The book isn't "fair" because it isn't objective as she bends over backwards to defend Orangeism and dosen't extend the same courtesy to republicans like Brendan McKenna, etc (sorry can't spell the Irish version of his name off the top of my head). Orange parades are "nice family picnics", etc. I thought her critical biog of Pearse (1977) was a much better balanced book. RDE is, incidentally, an atheist, like myself.