BS: When you're tired of your job....

Subject: When you're tired of your job....
From: sophocleese
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 01:33 PM

Think of this poor guy. Courtesy of Private Eye.

"When I was at college, I never thought I'd end up affording an orang-utan personal relief by hand every morning," Mohd. Binatang told reporters as they followed him on his daily rounds at the Singapore Zoological Gardens. "And Ah Meng is the worst. He expects to be kissed on the neck first." In between visits to the various cages, the curator of the zoo's sperm bank explained how he conducts his unusual profession. "We start so early in the morning because a lot of the animals have a 'morning glory' when they wake up, and it's easier to collect the sperm then. Each animal is different. The polar bears finish rather quickly, because they're not used to my warm hands on their cold organs. The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is the most 'teruk' of all, because of the sheer size of its thing. Sometimes I have to use both my arms to tug on it. I feel like the bell ringer in a cathedral, like that Quasimodo or something, except it all ends in a snow scene." After rubbing massage oil onto his rubber gloves, Binatang briefly disappeared into the orang-utan enclosure, where the resident was lying expectantly on his back, sporting a huge erection. When he emerged, he confessed that "as you might expect, this job is really ruining my sex life. I can't help it. These ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind." Lai Jee Seow of Wildlife Reserves Singapore also acknowledged that changes needed to be made to the zoo's semen collection procedures. "It's because the animals have gotten too used to Binatang coming over every morning to help them. Many of them now can't be bothered to engage in real sex." (The Straits Times, 28/5/01. Spotter: John Toplis)

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 01:36 PM

Oh, Lordy...............

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 01:38 PM

This has to be one for Aine's Song Challenge!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 01:44 PM

LOL!!!!!!

Who says life in the cage is all bad?!?!??!

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Justa Picker
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 01:51 PM

LOL!!!

(Can you imagine being this guy, and being out on a date, at a romantic restaurant, candle light on the table, and over your second glass of wine, she smiles and says "So? What do you do for a living? Tell me about your job.")

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: sophocleese
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 01:53 PM

Monty Python already came up with "Every Sperm is Sacred" but there is probably room for a little old fashioned Sperm Collectors Blues if anybody wants to write it.

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Chicken Charlie
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 01:58 PM

Justa--

Thought you were going to say, "Suddenly the waitress leans over and kisses you on the neck." This indeed has Kafkaesque potential.

CC

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 01:58 PM

"But will you respect me in the morning?"

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: sophocleese
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 02:01 PM

That's the ONLY time I'll respect you.

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 02:04 PM

Who's seen the movie "Clerks"?

This guys wife is in it...

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: kendall
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:46 PM

ROTFLMAO surely you dont expect us to believe this?

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:54 PM

I believe it. I know a young lady who works at a hog plant - not a farm, a plant with thousands of hogs. She has hundreds of hogs, male hogs, of course, lined up all day long and that's what she does... all day long.

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Amergin
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 04:01 PM

Well, I didn't find anything about it on Snopes...but I did find this lovely gem.

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: MMario
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 04:12 PM

very different from the procedures described here - and you'll note the names are different

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Grab
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 05:08 PM

I'd say that this job sucks - except that would be even worse...

Graham.

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Amergin
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 05:49 PM

Uh, mmario...i don't recall saying that they were similar...i do recall saying that I did not find anything about it on Snopes....and I just wanted to share that piece I found...I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for that outrage....I won't do it again, I promise.

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Mr Red
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 05:58 PM

sophocleese
the Sperm Collectors' Blues was written - but the shakey handwriting precluded any deciphering.
eggsasperating what?

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 06:00 PM

We know a song about this don't we......

And I don't mean 'Bestiality's best'....

I was thinking more on the lines of....

'Nice work if you can get it..... and if you get it, won't you tell me how!'

Although it is similar to my job in the IRS, someone ends up getting shafted...... just the ways are different....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 06:05 PM

*wondering if there'll be a run on rentals of Gorilla suits*

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: ddw
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 07:18 PM

I don't find this guy's job hard to believe at all — I work with a whole bunch of jerk-offs and people who punch the pooch.....

david

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:31 AM

There's a modified version of the same story over on this page. That doesn't make it any truer, but it does make it easier to believe!

A

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Lyndi-loo
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 05:58 AM

WE're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo
How about you, you ,you...........

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Jim Cheydi
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 05:58 AM

Wow! What a job! Two hundred quid a week and all you can eat!

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: English Jon
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 06:34 AM

thirty seven???????

EJ

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Trevor
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 09:36 AM

I wonder if he had to work a week in hand.

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: MMario
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 09:42 AM

Amergin - since the first piece is all over the place on the web- and judging from the comments on several of the pages a lot of people believe the story - I was just pointing towards some additional information.

Nothing to do with the site you linked to at all.

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 09:54 AM

seems to me the 'standard' way sperm is collected from large animals is light anesthesia and an electrical stimulus.....and not NEARLY as often as that story would suggest....

makes good fodder for Mudcat comedians, though...*grin*

Subject: RE: BS: When you're tired of your job....
From: Dharmabum
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:10 AM

Kinda puts a whole new twist on "Taking matters into your own hands" don't it?

JUNGLE LOVE.........YEEEEHAAAA!!!!!!

DB.