Lyr Add: Santa Got a DWI (Sherwin Linton)

Subject: Lyr Add: SANTA GOT A D.W.I.
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Jul 01 - 11:13 PM

Santa Got A DWI

There won't be no Santa this Christmas Eve.
It sounds so strange it's hard to believe,
But the state patrol's watching everyone these days,
And Santa was weaving around in his reindeer sleigh.

So they radioed to every cop in the states
And it was only a matter of a minute to wait.
When he landed on the housetop, there they were,
And they told Santa to breathe into a Breathalyzer.

Santa refused to take the Breathalyzer test.
The cop said, "then, brother, you're under arrest."
They frisked Santa Claus on that little housetop
And found a miniature bottle of peppermint schnapps.

CHORUS: Santa got a DWI
For weaving around in the sky
And believe me I wouldn't lie
Santa got a DWI

They took Santa down to the county jail,
Gave him one phone call to raise ten thousand bail.
By some strange note, Santa called me.
Said he needed ten grand just to set himself free.

I told him I'd get on it and see what I could do,
But no one would believe the story was true.
In trying to help Santa, I didn't mean no harm.
Now they are trying to put me in the funny farm.

They impounded Santa's sleigh and his reindeer too.
They'll probably end up in the county zoo.
And there won't be no Santa this Christmas Eve.
Can't raise ten grand no one will believe.

CHORUS

The moral to this story don't be mad at MADD.
If you've had a few drinks, you had better catch a cab.
Don't try to drive if you can't walk,
For even old Santa is not above the law.

Submitted by Louie Roy via kat

Thanks, Louie!

kat

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Nov 01 - 07:27 PM

refresh

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: Sorcha
Date: 19 Nov 01 - 07:55 PM

Too funny, kat! I'm going to print it and post it at the PD!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: Morticia
Date: 19 Nov 01 - 08:12 PM

what's a dwi?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: Sorcha
Date: 19 Nov 01 - 08:14 PM

Driving While Intoxicated......now usually a DUI--Driving Under the Influence (of alcohol or drugs) Pronounced "dewie"

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: Morticia
Date: 19 Nov 01 - 08:25 PM

Ahhhh, I see.....I knew it must be something of the sort but couldn't work out the initials....sorry, it's late and my brain's all fuzzy.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: Louie Roy
Date: 19 Nov 01 - 10:01 PM

Due to the generousity of Kat and my poor typing skills she posted this song Santa got a DWI for me.I get to sing this song every year in Decenber at all the gigs we play at and I always get a rousing round of applause.I haven't been able to find the author in all my piles of material but when I do I will post his name.Louie Roy

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: Amergin
Date: 19 Nov 01 - 10:08 PM

hilarious!rofl!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: Louie Roy
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:20 PM

The artist and writer of this song is Sherwin Linton and I believe he recorded it on a 45 in the late 1950s

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:56 PM

Louie, this will sound like a dumb question to some, but how do they pronounce "DWI" in the song? Is it dee-double-u-eye or is it "dewey"" - or is it both, like:

Santa got a "dewey" for weaving around in the sky
And believe me I wouldn't lie
Santa got a DWI

Once upon a time in California, DWI/DUI was also known as a "502" or a "deuce" because of the section of the California Vehicle Code it violated, but now it's a less-poetic CVC 23012(a) and (b).
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: PoppaGator
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:17 PM

When working/playing as Santa last year, I posed for a "gag" photo with a sheriff's deputy illustrating just this very situation -- Santa getting busted for driving his sleigh under the influence of a snootful of eggnog.

I'll email a jpeg to be posted under "Member Photos" as soon as I can.

I'm sure that the pronunciation is "dee-dubya-eye" -- fits the scansion and rhyme sceme. I've never heard it pronounced "dewy," but I'm sure that pronunciation varies from one area to another. Whether it's officially DWI or DUI also varies (in the USA) from one state to another. What do you call it in other countries?

Also: how can we learn the melody? Is it to the tune of some better-known Christmas song?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: Louie Roy
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 10:54 PM

Joe I've been singing this song for several years and the way I sing it is the same way it was original written DWI and in the song it is sang DWI with no slurring and to PoppaGator I think this song is still available and if I can find the source I'll let you know however since I can't post the tune on mudcat if you pay the postage and Pm your me your mailing address I'll sing it and put it on tape and mail to you.Louie Roy

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 11:43 PM

Thanks for the offer, Louie - but I can't transcribe a tune by ear, either.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 07:45 PM

In Minnesota, the term is "dee-doubleyou-eye" or maybe "dee-doub'you-eye." I've never heard anyone pronounce it "dewey." No one here calls it DUI either.

I think whether you call it DWI (for Driving While Intoxicated) or DUI (Driving Under the Influence [of intoxicating substances]) probably depends on the language of your state law.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: JennyO
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 03:30 AM

In Oz it's a DUI - well here in Sydney anyway.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Nov 15 - 05:19 PM

Joe did NOT ask a dumb question (December 2003)

Santa Got A Dee Dubya Eye, or however you want to write it out.
It's only the one spelling/pronunciation. There are four distinct notes , and four syllables: dee dub ya eye.

This song is included on "Bummed Out Christmas," which is not in my collection of CD's. However it was playing in a book/record store one Advent season and made me burst into laughter out loud; thankfully if anybody thought I was nuts, they had the tact to keep it to themselves.

Sherwin Linton proudly owns to the authorship of the song at www.sherwinlinton.com, but does he post the lyrics? I missed them, if he did, and I looked for 'em. Maybe I missed something.

Don't know who publishes the piece. Does anyone else?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: Louie Roy
Date: 23 Nov 15 - 07:20 PM

I DON'T KNOW WHY PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME FIGURING OUT HOW TO PRONOUNCING DWI IN A SONG.IT IS ACTTUALY 3 WORDS AND WHEN YOU SING THEM YOU PRONOUNCE THEM IN A SONG AS D W I AND I FIRST GOT AQUAINTED WITH THEM IN 1939 WHEN MY DAD GOT ONE OF THESE CITATIONS AND IT COST HIM 3 NIGHTS IN JAIL LOSS OF HIS DRIVING LICENCE FOR ONE YEAR AND A $100.00 FINE AND I RECEIVED A BRAND NEW 1939 FORD SEDAN TO DRIVE SINCE WE LIVED 10 MILES BACK IN THE STICKS ON A DIRT ROAD AND THIS WAS THE ONLY WAY WE HAD TO TRAVEL TO AND FROM HERE TO THERE.
I SILL SING THIS SON AT OUR OLDTIME FIDDLERS GIGS AND MANY OTHER PLACES Louie rOY

Subject: Lyr Add: SANTA GOT A DUI (Neptune's Buffalo)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Nov 15 - 04:41 PM

SANTA GOT A DUI
As recorded by Neptune's Buffalo on "Holidays" (2002)

Well, it's Christmas eve and Santa's in the tank.
There was milk and cookies but that wa'n't what he drank.
His sled was overloaded and he couldn't make it fly,
And Santa got a D.U.I.

Well, there was Christmas cheer ev'rywhere he went.
One too many toddies, he was a little bent.
His sled it wouldn't fly; it had too big a load.
That's how he ended up on the main road.

CHORUS: Well, call Mrs. Claus; call all the elves.
Someone needs to bail Santa Claus out o' jail.
Free the Reindeer Nine; free all the toys.
Save Christmas mornin' for all the girls and boys.

The mothers they are mad* on ev'ry holiday.
If you're drinkin' and a-drivin', man, you're gonna have to pay.
The lawmen of the land they had all that they could deck(?),
But they decided on a midnight license check.

CHORUS

Just plain ol' milk an' cookies, that's what he should 'a' drank.
This year it is Christmas and Santa's in the tank.
He's in the tank.

[Instrumental break]

Though Rudolph's nose was shinin' like a freight train's golden light,
As they cruised on down the highway on that fateful Christmas night,
With reindeer in the lead and toys stacked up in the trunk,
Good ol' Santa Claus, he was stinkin' drunk.

Well, Santa saw the roadblock and he urged his deer to fly.
That sled had left the pavement in the twinkle of an eye.
The lawmen were confused; you could see it on their face,
But they were ready for a high-speed freeway chase.

CHORUS TWICE

This year it is Christmas and Santa's in the tank.
There was milk an' cookies but that wa'n't what he drank.
His sled was overloaded and he couldn't make it fly,
And Santa got a D.U.I.
His sled was overloaded and he couldn't make it fly,
And Santa got a D.U.I.
I said Santa got a D.U.I.
Good ol' Santa got a D.U.I.


[* A pun on M.A.D.D., Mothers Against Drunk Driving.]

Subject: Lyr Add: SANTA'S DUI (Gallagher's Twin)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Nov 15 - 10:13 AM

This song is far inferior, in my opinion to the others already posted, but still it's interesting to see variations on the theme:


SANTA'S DUI: A CAUTIONARY CHRISTMAS TALE
As recorded by Gallagher's Twin (2014); tune = "Jingle Bells"

Crashing through the door on a blustery afternoon,
With a six-pack in one hand, about three weeks too soon,
Came Santa in his sleigh, too drunk to drive his team,
Laughing in his way, it had to be a dream.

Oh, Santa's toast, but as a boast, he threw up on my floor.
He stumbled round, fell to the ground and woke up drinking more.
His beard's been tussed(?), head concussed, the kids are all a fright.
No need to leave your milk or cookies sitting out tonight.

Santa's sleigh was wrecked; the reindeer all were bruised.
When the cops arrived upon the scene, St. Nick was getting nude.
Dasher and Dancer cried; Comet and Cupid fled;
But even more than Rudolph, Santa's drunken nose was red.

Oh, Santa's buzzed; he met the fuzz, and it was quite a sight.
He did his best, but he failed his test, so he'll be locked up tonight.
Santa's drunk as a skunk; I saw him go to jail.
There may not be a Christmas if he cannot make his bail.

Santa went to court; to plead his case he tried,
But Mister Scrooge the judge said "Bah! Humbug!" to his bride.
So when Christmas day is here and you want to drink again,
Before you crack that beer, think of Santa in the pen.

Oh, D. U. I.! He cannot fly; the north pole's in a hush.
Mrs. Claus is at a loss 'cause Santa is a lush.
Christmas cheer is nowhere near with Santa locked away,
So Betty Ford, who'll be adored, came in to save the day.

Subject: Lyr Add: SANTA WENT DUI (Jiggi Verandah Band)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Nov 15 - 11:34 AM

Jiggi (pronounced jee'-guy) is a place in Australia. This one is fun—thoroughly in the rock-n-roll genre.


SANTA WENT DUI
As recorded by Steve & The Jiggi Verandah Band on "Jiggi Christmas" (2011)

Santa staggered down Jiggi Road,
Sack on his back, dodgin' the toads.
Long hot trip in the middle o' summer,
No sleigh to fly; it's a bummer.

All started with the snacks left out:
No milk and cookies, just beer and stout.
Drank it all and continued to fly.
Cops pulled him over; he went D. U. I.

Lost his license; he can't fly.
Thorny(?) old Santa with D. U. I.
Too many people left him beer.
Likes to drink this time of year.

Lost his license....

Santa's feet are sore as hell.
Havin' to walk is startin' to tell.
Wishin' he could drive or fly,
Life gets tough when you're D. U. I.

Mrs. Claus made a fuss.
Santa's reindeer now take the bus.
Santa has to pay the fare.
He's still walkin' everywhere.

Lost his license....

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got A DWI
From: keberoxu
Date: 28 Nov 15 - 12:38 PM

Well, it's over ten years too late, but since Poppa Gator posed the question:

the Sherwin Linton song is NOT a familiar tune from the past or anything. I say that even though I heard it three times at the most. The tune does not quote or parody any celebrated Christmas melody.

Subject: Lyr Add: SANTA'S DRUNK (Fathead)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Nov 15 - 03:04 PM

Musically, this one belongs to the funk genre. Sorry; it's got nothing to do with driving, but there are a surprising number of songs with a drunk Santa theme, so I think this trend deserves to be documented.


SANTA'S DRUNK
As recorded by Fathead on "Santa's Got Mojo 2" (2012)

Santa's drunk; what more can we say?
Hasn't stopped drinkin' since the fourth of May.
Santa's drunk; what more can we say?
He sold the reindeers and he pawned the sleigh.

Rudolph with your nose so bright,
You're out of a job; that's right.
Santa's nose is twice as red
From drinkin' moonshine in his bed.

Santa's drunk; what more can we say?
Been six months since the elves been paid.
Santa's drunk; what more can we say?
It looks like Christmas is gonna be delayed.

Money's tight for old Saint Nick,
So Mrs. Claus is turnin' tricks.
Eskimos for miles around
Are checkin' out what's goin' down.

Santa's drunk; what more can we say?
He's goin' for a walk in a liquor haze.
Santa's drunk; what more can we say?
Just tag along and follow him today.

He's wobbling to and fro.
Here comes space(?) plan number fo'.
Back on the street with a laugh.
He's comin' to your house at last.

Santa's drunk; what more can we say?
Milk and cookies won't cut it today.
Leave out the booze and break out the stash.
It's guaranteed to get Santa on your ass.

Don't be fooled by his jolly face.
He's prob'ly casing out your place.
Check him good before he flies(?).
You'll prob'ly just say: "Nick, you've lied(?)"

Santa's drunk.… [fade]

Subject: Lyr Add: SANTA'S TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Nov 15 - 03:44 PM

SANTA'S TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE
As recorded by The Hot Rods on "Christmas" (2003)*
And by Johnnie Clutch and the Rumble Seats on "Rock Her Santa EP" (2013)*

Santa's too drunk to drive.
Santa's too drunk to drive.
Santa's too drunk to drive.
He's been drinkin' since a half past five.
Whatever you do, don't let him drive that sleigh tonight.

It's a cold and snowy Christmas eve.
Santa's at the bar drinkin' shots o' Jim Beam.
Call up Rudolph; bail him out o' jail.
All the Christmas presents are comin' in the mail.

Oh, Santa! Santa's too drunk to drive.
Woah, Santa! You better stay home tonight.

Call up Dancer, Prancer and Vixen.
Santa's blotto, bombed and Blitzen(?).

Oh, Santa! Santa's too drunk to drive.
Oh, Santa! You better stay home tonight.

Well, all the boys and girls are waiting for their toys
'Cause Santa's passed out from drinkin' one too many Rob Roys.

No more beer, whiskey or gin.
Santa's fallen off the wagon again.

Oh, Santa! Santa's too drunk to drive.
Woah, Santa! You better stay home tonight.

Santa's too drunk to drive.
Santa's too drunk to drive.
Santa's too drunk to drive.
He's been drinkin' since a half past five.
Whatever you do, don't let him drive that sleigh tonight.

Santa's too drunk to drive.
Santa's too drunk to drive.
Santa's too drunk to drive.
Been drinkin' since a half past five.
Whatever you do, don't let him drive that sleigh tonight.


* These 2 recordings actually sound identical.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got a DWI
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Dec 15 - 03:55 PM

'Tis the season to refresh this thread.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got a DWI
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Dec 16 - 04:39 PM

And once again for the Xmas following THAT United States election. Could certainly use a laugh.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Santa Got a DWI
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 23 Dec 16 - 07:54 PM

This is NOT humorous... or folk, ... nor music.

I suggest....even though dated ...this thread be .... be evaluated... by three clones.....and then shifted "below the line."

MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING (aka MADD) have changed the USA...hopefully too....it will change the U.K. (buzzed driving is drunk driving).....UBER is 100 X cheaper than a violation with bail)

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

They have your number....it is sooner...rather than later.. that you will spin

Subject: Lyr Add: SANTA GOT A DWI (Sherwin Linton)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Dec 16 - 08:02 PM

I found this recording on YouTube (and there is another copy here) and checked the lyrics carefully. I have boldfaced the words that are different from the ones posted by katlaughing at the beginning of this thread.


SANTA GOT A DWI
As recorded by Sherwin Linton on "Christmas Memories" (1996)

Santa won't be back next Christmas Eve.
It sounds strange, I know; it's hard to believe,
But the state patrol's watchin' ever'body these days.
He was weavin' in the sky in his reindeer sleigh.

So they radioed to every cop in the state
That it was only a matter of a minutes [sic] to wait.
When he landed on a housetop, there they were,
Tellin' Santa to exhale in a Breathalyzer.

But Santa refused to take the Breathalyzer test.
"In that case, buddy, you're under arrest."
They frisked him where he landed on that little housetop,
Found a mini'ture bottle of-a peppermint schnapps.

CHORUS: Santa got a DWI.
For weavin' around in the sky.
Believe me: I wouldn't lie.
Whoa! Santa got a DWI.

They took Santa down to the county jail,
Gave him one phone call to raise ten thousand bail.
By some strange note, Santa called me,
Said he needed ten grand just to set himself free.

I told him I'd get on it and do what I could do,
But I can't make anyone believe my story is true.
Just trying to help Santa, I don't mean no harm.
Now they're tryin' to put me in the funny farm.

They impounded Santa's sleigh and his reindeer too,
And they'll probably end up in the city zoo,
And there won't be any Santa next Christmas Eve.
I can't raise his bail; no one will believe.

CHORUS

There's a moral to the song: don't be mad at MADD.
If you have a few nippers[?], better catch a cab.
Don't ever try to drive if you can't walk,
'Cause even old Santa ain't above the law.

REPEAT CHORUS SEVERAL TIMES.
REPEAT LAST LINE OF CHORUS SEVERAL TIMES AND FADE.


["DWI" is pronounced "dee-dubya-eye"—4 syllables.]
["Santa Got A DWI", recorded as a single by Sherwin Linton, was mentioned in Billboard Magazine, Dec. 13, 1986.]