BS: The FartWad of CLETUS

Subject: The FartWad of CLETUS
From: GUEST,CLETUS
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 09:27 PM

I keepa heerin that the feller whut done put them ol boyz up ta flyin inna them big bildingz has ishooed sum uv the thangs that Catspaw sez ar callt fartwads ur sumpin like that. Now I doan holt with blowin up no bildingz an bringin on all thet tragedy ta folks but I do know an awful lot abowt farts an I figgered I had the same say az thet there nasty fucker an I shur az hell kin match dam neer ennybuddy seppin Paw when it comes ta fartin.

I axt Catspaw why thizzeer Bin Loded feller wud rite sumpin bowt gas passin an Catspaw sed it wuzza jujmint. Wal, I gotta few jujmintz bowt fartin myself soze I thot I cud passem on heer.

1--Iffen ya dun et a lot uv cabbage an stuff, ya needz ta have reel gud jujmint az ta whether ur not ta rip one attall cuz ya mite git yersef a reel fartwad in yer droors.

2--Never stan behind Paw when he flares one off ur yall like as not lose yer eyebrows and yer mustash iffen ya got one.

3--Iffen yer in polite type cumpny then itz gud mannerz ta do the 'one cheek sneek.'

4--Doan ever flote an air biskit after eetin Catspaw's hot wingz. Thair aint no wayz ta do a one cheeker with them neither cuz they like ta set yer bunghole on fire.

I figger them four ar az gud az ennythang that meen bastard cud givout so yall jez take my advice an pray ta god Catspaw doan ever serv ya Hot Wingz an cabbage.

CLETUS

Subject: RE: BS: The FartWad of CLETUS
From: Big Mick
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 09:41 PM

I hereby unretire the "Guinness in the Sinus Cavities" award...........there are some silly bastards in this place...............ROFLMAO. Well done, Clete!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The FartWad of CLETUS
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 09:52 PM

And just what is Spaw bringing to the pot luck night at the Getaway!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The FartWad of CLETUS
From: Big Mick
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 09:57 PM

I vote for the Hot Wings and Cabbage.........it will make the co-ed cabin a hoot.........so to speak.........LOL. Think I will bring some bean soup.......

Subject: RE: BS: The FartWad of CLETUS
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 11:42 PM

I dunno'.....I leave the house to bail out the Reg Boys and that damn Cletus is on the computer. BTW, the Reg Boys were picked up for having a suspicious package which turned out to be the bag of hockey pucks they carry around..........fockin' Canadians.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: The FartWad of CLETUS
From: Chip2447
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 11:51 PM

Go gettum Cletus...

Subject: RE: BS: The FartWad of CLETUS
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 01:55 AM

Say, Cletus, you been teaching Manitas on the sly? He's been waging a one bum war on the ozone layer for a week now, or could it be that case of Pedigree beer we have left over from the party last week......

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: The FartWad of CLETUS
From: GUEST,mAPLE
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 09:09 AM

Say Cletus,

Yew tha wun thet thunk up thet name fer thet nyew gummint thang tha Orfis a Homestyle Secrecy er tha Orfis a Hometown Senility er the Offers a Homefries Sartinly er whutevr tis? Way tew gud er name fer thet beady eyed smirkin Bush feller ter hev made up is own self.

MAPLE

Subject: RE: BS: The FartWad of CLETUS
From: Morticia
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 09:15 AM

Okay,that's another keyboard you owe me.....anyone know how you get coffee out of a silk shirt?

Subject: RE: BS: The FartWad of CLETUS
From: Gareth
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 11:27 AM

Cletus - biological and chemical warfare is banned !!!

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: The FartWad of CLETUS
From: Hollowfox
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 12:36 PM

At my house anything's allowed, as long as you keep one cheek on the chair.

Subject: RE: BS: The FartWad of CLETUS
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 05:31 PM

Ah, rule of snooker... contact with the floor at all times.

LTS