Clumsy Lyrics

Subject: Clumsy Lyrics
From: RangerSteve
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 10:28 AM

In a recent thread, some people have pointed out the clumsy lyrics in Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. I pointed out that clumsiness is part of a long tradition. My favorite is from a song called "She Has Forgotten": Back to my home town I wandered one day/ It seems that the old friends had drifted away,/I wandered down Main Street,the view to enjoy/I met a young girl that I knew as a boy.

Okay, I understand that the singer knew the girl when the singer was a boy, but it sounds like he's saying he knew her back before she got a sex change operation that turned her into a boy.

Any other clumsy lyrics that pre-date Edmund Fitzgerald?

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 11:11 AM

Where's the thread on clumsy Edmund Fitzgerald? Lightfoot is a hell of a lyric writer. I suspect If it seems clumsy it was done that way for effect. I believe woody Guthrie Did that a lot to make his lyrics more homey, and conversational. The 1913 Massacre comes to mind as an example.

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 11:28 AM

I found the Lightfoot thread, Thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: Joe_F
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 11:33 AM

I once heard a love song, not meant to be satirical or comic, that contained the phrase "separation anxiety".

Possibly the most unpoetic line I have heard in a song is "And some of us will grow up to be lawyers and things".

There is a song called "Harriet Tubman" in which almost every line is embarrassing.

A dreadful rhyme that fails to ruin a good song: "Paradise...life".

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 12:19 PM

Sure...here's an example of a clumsy Dylan lyric:

"With unseen consciousness I possessed in my grip
A magnificent mantelpiece, though it's heart being chipped"

Dylan himself has expressed regret over writing that particular song, but it does have some pretty good lyrical passages in it too...specially:

"Oh, my friends from the city, they ask unto me
How good, how good does it feel to be free?
And I answer them back most mysteriously
Are birds free from the chains of the skyway?"

What a great image.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 12:35 PM

There's also this song that rhymes "warrior" with "bore ya"! Seriously...

"Living your life as a warrior
Nothing will bore ya
You can be happy...

GAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: Marymac90
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 12:59 PM

Yeah, LH, but Song of the Soul is another good song that an embarrassingly bad rhyme can't ruin! A whole generation offeminists cut their teeth on that one!

Which Harriet Tubman song is so embarrassing? I really like the one that starts "One night I dreamed I was in slavery..."

Marymac

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: Leeder
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 01:14 PM

A song that has sloppy lyrics but succeeds in spite of it is Stompin' Tom Conners' hockey song (what's its official name?). Raw energy transcends all. Probably people who haven't been to a hockey game, or watched one on television, don't know of the song, but it's a monster hit in that environment despite being, in my view, a poorly-written song.

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: SharonA
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 05:13 PM

The Beatles song "If I Fell" (and I hope I'm quoting this correctly; I'm typing from memory because i can't find the lyrics on-line):

"If I give my heart to you, I must be sure from the very start that you would love me more than her." Sounds like he wants the woman to whom he is singing to love him more than she loves his ex-girlfriend (or perhaps he's bisexual, addressing another bisexual man who's dating both him and his ex-girlfriend).

And later in the song: "..don't hurt my pride like her." Sounds like he's saying, "Don't hurt my pride like you hurt her."

Yes, I'm being pedantic! It's sloppy English!!! That song has grated on me since its release.

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: SharonA
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 05:52 PM

FYI: Just checked OLGA (duh! Why didn't I go there in the first place, instead of poking fruitlessly through Beatles sites?!), and their lyrics match the ones I posted. Guess I'm still Alzheimer's-free.

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 06:11 PM

Sally Rogers' song "Lovely Agnes" contains the line "We'll cross over Lake Michigan till we come to the shore."

What else WOULD you do? Stop in the middle?

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: gnomad
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 07:29 PM

Various night visiting songs seem to come up with the happy notion of "They both shook hands and embraced each other" etc.

I'm not sure about clumsy, but it sounds fairly improbable unless shaking hands has some no longer current significance. Ideas anyone?

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 08:37 PM

Can't ever see that getting exact rhymes is necessary or even desirable. Many times when writing a song I've intentionally avoided an exact rhyme to use a partial rhyme instead. If it's good enough for Yeats it's good enough for me.

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: sc
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 10:24 PM

Sounds like some of you folks that need the perfect rhyme should be listening to something else. Some of us ain't so perfect and we don't expect the perfection of post-grad-schooled lyrics. We just want to feel the raw energy that comes from the heart and soul of the composer. Would that I could match the imperfection of McCartney or Dylan...

Subject: RE: BS: Clumsy Lyrics
From: heric
Date: 06 Nov 01 - 11:38 PM

"Every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you." I just heard that song repeatedly on a road trip, and the imagery can mess your mind, especially since the line get repeated so often throughout the song.