Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: GUEST,Fortunato's secret Santa..... Date: 13 Nov 01 - 08:39 AM OK, now I'm excited!!! The package is on its way!! The only thing missing is the picture. I've decided to send it seperately, didn't want to scare you into not opening the rest of the package......*BG*. Actually, I was so excited to have everything together and ready to pack, I just forgot!! So you will be getting a card sometime soon as well! I hope you enjoy it! Nicholas (as in the Saint!!!!) |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Fortunato Date: 13 Nov 01 - 10:07 AM To My Secret Santa, whomever. We're decorating for the holidays at Chez Fortunato and last night it went like this: Fort: What color tree would you like this year, my peach? Mrs. Fortunato: Mistletoe. Fort: Mistletoe!!! What an answer. Mrs. Fortunato: Jeepers, don't you like to hang a little bouquet of mistletoe, Mr. Fort? Baby Fortunato: He's too shy, Ma. Fort:I am not shy. But what good is mistletoe? Catch somebody under it, and it's either somebody you can kiss anyway, like your wife, or you get a slap in the chops before you can point up to it. Mistletoe! That's just poison ivy with berries! So you can see Santa I need to work on my Holiday Spirits (Think I'll go get a quart or too!) I'm sure your wonderful package will boost them. We'll hang your card and picture on the tree if it doesn't frighten the children Thanks and Happy Holidays! Fortunato |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: SharonA Date: 13 Nov 01 - 10:40 AM To my Secret St. Nick (St. Nicki?): Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy! The guys at the post office are going to get awfully tired of cleaning my nose-smudges off their window while I watch for my pressie to arrive! Yep, it was Marigolds I needed, all right. I figure I'll put one on the top of my tree! Ah, but when the package is here, will I still have the strength and resolve to keep it under my tree till Christmas morning?!? (Guess I'd better, after I chided everybody else, huh?) So here's a little advance THANK YOU, SECRET SANTA!!!!!! Sharon :^) :^) :^) :^) :^) (I'm all smiles!) |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: GUEST,Fortunato's Secret Santa..... Date: 13 Nov 01 - 11:05 AM OK, my friend, one thing I want you to remember. In your original hints post you told me that (I'm paraphrasing here...) one nice thing would be to acquire a new friend.....consider that part done!! You said that under the mistletoe when you catch someone, it's either someone you can kiss anyway, like your wife, or you get slapped!! The solution? Everytime you kiss your wife kiss her like it's the first time. Oh yeah, and grab her ass, it's a good reminder that she still does it for ya!! And when it's not your wife, try a hug, you seldom get slapped and hugs are ALWAYS good for the soul. Besides, according to your note it was Mrs. Fort that suggested the mistletoe. I'm not saying the quart is a bad idea, but get two, and drink it with her (after Baby fort is asleep) under said mistletoe!!! That'll give your spirits a rise! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go grab Mrs. Claus' ass!!! Santa |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Fortunato Date: 13 Nov 01 - 11:17 AM (Blush) Santa, you rogue. Now we're all visualizing you grabbing Mrs. Claus's ample behind while grinning lecherously. I see it isn't only the reindeer who are rutting about up there in Christmas Land. Wait..where do elves come from anyway? I'll tell the Mrs. I have Santa's permission to fondle and booze, or is that booze and then fondle? Yes, it is good to make a friend, we'll talk. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Blackcatter Date: 13 Nov 01 - 11:37 AM Just as long as you don't bondle and fooze... |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: SharonA Date: 13 Nov 01 - 11:54 AM Is that anything like bondle and discipline? Sorry; couldn't resist. Secret Santa, I'll understand if you send coal instead of Marigolds.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Fortunato Date: 13 Nov 01 - 12:03 PM Bondle and Fooze. I think we opened for them at the Earle Theatre in the winter of '36. No, wait, it was The Pantages in Toronto in '39. I remember I was still working with the seal then. Fooze had a booze problem, but with Bondle it was men. She always said she only liked two kinds of men: Domestic and Foreign. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: KarenB Date: 14 Nov 01 - 09:13 AM Wow, it seems eerily silent around the hints thread! I guess everyone's waiting at the doorsteps to see if today is the day the package will arrive!! No new requests for the Elf lately, but I'm here if anyone needs me!! Elf Karen |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Dani Date: 14 Nov 01 - 09:44 AM Well, I was kidding about the book, but would not turn up my nose at a dogeared, affordable copy. I LOVE SURPRISES!!!! Dani |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Bat Goddess Date: 14 Nov 01 - 09:56 AM I've seen it, Jeri's SS -- the clipper thingie is super! Looks great and practical too! (No, she wouldn't even let us in the same BUILDING with the cookies -- come to think of it, since she lives in Northwood and we live in Nottingham, she wouldn't let us in the same TOWN!) Even though I was the bad influence that talked her into opening the package. ;-) Bat Goddess |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Amergin Date: 14 Nov 01 - 03:04 PM that seems rather ungrateful to me bat goddess.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: SharonA Date: 14 Nov 01 - 03:49 PM I dunno, Amergin. It depends on how many cookies Jeri had and how many people the "we" in Nottingham might be. Maybe she didn't have enough to share with the class (or town?)! Blackcatter: The purpose of a toilet paper cover is to cover toilet paper. ;^) Yes, some people are embarrassed to have a bare toilet paper roll sitting out in the open; others simply want to prevent it from gathering dust while it's waiting to be used. In either case, it's supposed to be a way to keep a roll handy in case it's needed (and, incidentally, to prevent people from rummaging through one's bathroom cabinets and pawing the towels and such while looking for the paper). What else should be covered? Well, a bowl-brush cover is a must. And yes, some people do cover their toilets... at least, the seat and the tank-top. A few even have decorative covers for air fresheners. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Amergin Date: 14 Nov 01 - 04:00 PM don't need any of those in an out house.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: SINSULL Date: 14 Nov 01 - 05:45 PM I don't know about that, Nathan. I always found a fuzzy warm toilet seat cover to be an asset (ooh, a pun!) in an outhouse 'round about this time of year. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Allan C. Date: 14 Nov 01 - 05:48 PM So I trotted out to the mailbox at the end of the driveway and took a look. What a surprise! There was a package addressed to ME!! I immediately began to giggle like a little kid. I had honestly forgotten about the part of this Santa/Santee thing that involved getting stuff! The return address told me everything: NSW, Australia. It was from Alison!! Curiosity got the best of me. I couldn't wait to open it but really wanted to share that excitement and so I phoned Alison so that I could open it with her. How totally cool! Alison gave me a lovely field guide to Australian birds, a pictorial guide to Sydney and a CD filled with ballads as sung by a friend of hers. I can hardly wait to give it a listen! Alison, hon, you are a dear! Thank you so much!! |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: GUEST,Fortunato's secret santa Date: 14 Nov 01 - 10:42 PM Your posts have really cracked me up!! I'm sorry to see this thing come to an end...so I won't let it!! I've collected a picture or two and have them ready for the mail tomorrow!! They are on their way!!
Take Care, |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: alison Date: 14 Nov 01 - 11:42 PM allan it was a lovely surprise to hear you on the phone this morning... and I am thrilled that you liked you gifts........ we'll all have to do this again sometime... it was such fun!! slainte alison |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Sarah the flute Date: 15 Nov 01 - 03:42 AM Sinsull I while back I found the ultimate answer to cold loos. A plumber was refitting the bathroom and being in a hurry to finish for the day he said he'd just connect the water back to the toilet so it could be used before he went. Using it a while later it seemed pleasantly warm and then after flushing noticable steam was rising from the bowl. It appears the hot rather than the cold pipe was connected ...henceforth known as the "hot flush" mechanism!!! |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Fortunato Date: 15 Nov 01 - 01:52 PM Well, Secret Santa, hello to you and best regards. I 'm glad for your kind words. I'm turning up the gain so you can hear the conversation here: "Ginger Nut," said the kindly Doctor, willing to enlist the smallest suffrage in his behalf, "what do you think of this damn Fortunato?" "I think, sir, he's a little loony," replied Ginger Nut, with a grin. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: GUEST,The_one_and_only_Santa Date: 15 Nov 01 - 04:24 PM Dai, do not despair. I had to consult with the Postal Elves to make certain what I am sending you is Post Office Approved. Apparently it is. I hope it will not get squashed between hither and yon. 'Twill be on its merry way to you this weekend. Be watching. :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: SINSULL Date: 15 Nov 01 - 06:41 PM Hey Allan! Is there really such a thing as a lyre bird? I once spent an evening in the Australian bush looking and listening for such a bird. My suspicions were aroused when my guide claimed that any noise we heard could be a lyre bird as they are perfect mimics. Sounded like a snipe hunt to me. We heard a chainsaw and I was told it could only be a lyre bird. Who would be using a chainsaw so late in the day? Sounded more like a snipe hunt to me. We did however see an echidna - an Australian porcupine. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: SharonA Date: 15 Nov 01 - 06:43 PM According to Lou and Peter Berryman, there's a bird called the "dupsha dove". It goes: "dup sha dup sha dup shaddup shaddup..." |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: GUEST,Burke's SS Date: 15 Nov 01 - 06:50 PM Your package went out Priority Mail and you should have had it by Monday...Any news? Mail is disappearing at an alarming rate in my neighborhood. Just got two phone calls about invitations that never arrived ... thought I needed an explanation of RSVP. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: SharonA Date: 15 Nov 01 - 06:52 PM I'm trying to remember the other birds in the "Dupsha Dove" song; I think there was a "Thin Bree" and a "Thout Bree"? I'll go look it up. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Sorcha Date: 15 Nov 01 - 07:09 PM Lyre Bird They are real. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: GUEST,Gervase's Secret Santa Date: 15 Nov 01 - 10:42 PM I guess Gervase doesn't want to play. Too bad. I have such a nice surprise for him. He should begin to receive it sometime in the beginning of December. The tough part will be figuring out who I am! But he'll have to beg for hints before I say anything else. Muahahaha! |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: alison Date: 16 Nov 01 - 12:17 AM Lyre birds are real... David Attenborough showed one doing a great impersonation of a camera "click and wind-on" noise...... slainte alison |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: GUEST,Mary In Kentucky's Secret Santa's Elf's Daug Date: 16 Nov 01 - 06:04 AM My Mummy and Daddy's boss wil be gettin the stuff to you sum time in the next ten das you'll get it befor Christmus the reezin they got me to tel you is cos they're to bizzy sory about the speling I'm only 4 |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Gervase Date: 16 Nov 01 - 06:26 AM Begin to receive it?! Yikes, is this something like measles, which comes on spot by itching spot?! |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Fortunato Date: 16 Nov 01 - 08:38 AM I think, Gervase old chum, your Santa means that the period of possible delivery begins then. Santa is obviously concerned with the pre-Christmas rutting season of elves. From the messages I've been receiving from MY Santa, he's a right randy old bugger himself. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Gervase Date: 16 Nov 01 - 08:51 AM Oh sh*t - rutting elves! That's all I need to complement the sack of reindeer manure on the doorstep, not to mention the lords-a-leaping trying to shag the maids-a-milking in the parlour. And as for those bloody pipers piping and drummers drumming...Grr! Hang on, one of the pipers has stopped. Oh double-sh*t! He's making for the paddock with a wicked look in his eye Hey, McLeod! Get off of ma ewe! Sorry, I'll get me coat... |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Fortunato Date: 16 Nov 01 - 09:00 AM Well that lowered the level quite nicely, Gervase, thank you.
Four friars a-fucking
"And a parson in a chambermaid" |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 16 Nov 01 - 09:35 AM And don't forget those pictures folks!
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Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Allan C. Date: 16 Nov 01 - 09:50 AM Good one, Mary! |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 16 Nov 01 - 10:06 AM Since my Secret Santa's Elf's Daughter posted at 6:04 am Mudcat Time, does this mean my SS is from across the pond? Or possibly just an early riser? Or just a devious trickster trying to confuse me? |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: GUEST,Gervase's Secret Santa Date: 16 Nov 01 - 10:12 AM You don't know how hard it is to get anything done during the elf rutting season. Why they ever decided to put Christmas right then I'll never know. But there won't quite be 12 days of Christmas for you, Gervase. There will be a few less. But you should enjoy it nonetheless. The harder part is going to be figuring out my identity. When you get tired of sifting the clues you can ask Karen. She might divulge my identity but then she might not. In the meantime I have to go put some saltpeter into the elf food. If they could isolate the elf rutting hormone it would put Viagra out of business! |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Pseudolus Date: 16 Nov 01 - 11:04 AM Get clues from Karen?? Fat chance!! I've been able to get nothing out of her!! And believe me I've tried....*BG*...... Frank |
Subject: Lyr Add: THE DUPSHA DOVE (Lou and Peter Berryman) From: SharonA Date: 16 Nov 01 - 11:18 AM For SINSULL (and others discussing the Lyre Bird): THE DUPSHA DOVE copyright 2000 Lou and Peter Berryman Upon a main branch, above my brain stem, There sings a Jerdane Bird. You may have heard of him. He goes: "Jer dane jer dane jer dane jer danger danger danger danger danger danger danger danger dane" And that's the Jerdane Bird Who sings a single word. Above the Jerdane Bird 'sa bird who needs to speak Known as the Chowtwa Hawk, the chatty Chowtwa Hawk. He warns me: "Chowtwa chowtwa chowtwa chowtwa chowt watch out watch out watch out watch out watch out watch out watch out wa" That's the Chowtwa Hawk, A bird who lives to talk. Beside the Chowtwa Hawk, 'sa bird who needs to speak Known as the Airfulbeak, the mighty Airfulbeak Who warns me: "Airfulbeak airfulbeak airfulbeak airfulbeak airful be careful be careful be careful be careful be careful be careful be careful beak" Ah, the Airfulbeak, A bird who needs to speak. But it's the Dupsha Dove who has the final say And to the other birds proceeds to sing away. She tells them: "Dupsha dupsha dupsha dupsha dup shaddup shaddup shaddup shaddup shaddup shaddup shaddup sha" How I dearly love The little Dupsha Dove! And when the Dupsha Dove has had the final word, She brings the Thinbrea Bird to join the Thoutbrea Bird. They whisper: "Thinbrea thoutbrea thinbrea thoutbrea thinbrea thout breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out brea" How I dearly love The little Dupsha Dove! |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: SharonA Date: 16 Nov 01 - 11:47 AM Whoops! First line of second verse should read: "Above the Jerdane Bird 'sa bird who needs to talk" (rhymes with "hawk"!). There goes more coal into my stocking for typing incorrect copyrighted lyrics... *sigh* |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: GUEST,Guest SINSULL, Don't Know Why. Date: 16 Nov 01 - 12:47 PM And then there is the KEYbird who flies in ever decreasing circles saying "KeyKey Keyrist it's dark up here!" Sorry. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: GUEST,Mrzzy's Secret Santa Date: 16 Nov 01 - 01:12 PM Grandmother Bit. All will be revealed at the Solstice. Heh heh heh. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: SharonA Date: 16 Nov 01 - 01:42 PM SINSULL: Yup, I'm typing on my keybird right now. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Gillie Date: 16 Nov 01 - 04:11 PM Firecat - Tig's dead jealous, she's going to try it next time!!! Love, Gillie and Magician |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: GUEST,Jeri's you-know-what Date: 16 Nov 01 - 11:04 PM Jeri? Oh, Jeri?? I just opened my copy of what I sent you, and mine is no good - but easily replaced. Please have no hesitation about letting me know *here* and I'll send you a new one! But if it's fine, hope you enjoy it.
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Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Amergin Date: 16 Nov 01 - 11:15 PM so if she likes it but says no...she'll get more? that sounds like the gift that keeps on giving to me... |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Jeri Date: 17 Nov 01 - 08:28 AM Hmmm...no, I can't do that. Last week, I received a separate package from my Secret Santa, with a wonderful CD of old time fiddler Joe Thompson in it. (Something promised outside of the Secret Santa thing.) It works fine, and I love it! I seem to recall there was a thread about the man, and I should try to find it... |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Jeri Date: 17 Nov 01 - 08:33 AM HA! Boy, am I dense..."outside of the Secret Santa thing!" It WAS the Secret Santa thing, and you were very sneaky! I never had a clue. "Have you ever heard of Joe...there's a CD..." Thank you!!! |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: GUEST,Fortunato, gifts in hand Date: 17 Nov 01 - 01:42 PM "'Cause Santa Claus came last night!" Yes Virginia, and Delaware, too, there is a Santa Claus... and he dropped off lots of great stuff. A lovely CD and Picture Post cards (I really like picture post cards) and a state calendar and a BEER BOOK! DID I MENTION BEER BOOK? Great presents, thanks Santa. I hope you don't mind if I reveal the source of all these great presents... "May I have the envelope please?" And the Secret Santa for Fortunato is..... Pseudolus.... Thanks very much, Pseudo, I'll PM you as well. Lot's of fun, we're enjoying your friend's singing! Talk to you soon! Must rush off, we've a gig tonight and I've got to set the sound, etc. this afternoon, more later! Many thanks, Fortunato. |
Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa HINTS THREAD PART FIVE From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 17 Nov 01 - 02:26 PM Don't forget pictures! |