BS: Serious Humour for Serious Times *g*

Subject: Serious Humour for Serious Times *g*
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Nov 01 - 11:20 AM

Serious Humor for Serious Times
by Swami Beyondananda

A funny thing happened on the way to the Age of Aquarius. Somehow we musta got lost, because it looks like we took a detour through the Age of Nefarious instead. There we were, blithely driving our karma down the carefree global highway and wham -- we ran smack into a vicious dogma.

Some might say we got blindsided, but I say we ignored many of the danger signs along the way. Not only were we poorly prepared to wage war with terrorism, we were more importantly unprepared to wage peace with those whose hearts and hopes have been hijacked by the terrorists.

Albert Einstein once said that a problem cannot be solved at the level it was created, and sadly it looks as if we are about to prove him correct once again. We've been drawn into a pissing match in hell against an enemy that is ultimately one billion strong and has a thousand-year-old grudge against the West and a religion whose name is peace, but whose practice is too often vengeance. Of course, there has to be a bright side to this, right? Or, as the theatergoer said, "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how'd you enjoy the play?"

Well, there is a bright side, and the bright side is back here on the "Om front." My friend Dean Sluyter, whose new book is called The Zen Commandments: Ten Suggestions for a Life of Inner Freedom, (J.P. Tarcher, 2001) says: "You know those spiritual practices we've been doing for all these years? This is what we've been practicing for." For while we can only exert a very limited levitational pull on the gravity of worldwide events, we can still choose to be peaceful, loving and yes -- even joyful -- within the scope of our own lives. Dean recommends a daily practice which the Tibetans call tonglen. He calls it "Bless Everyone:" "Sit with eyes closed and allow another person's image to arise in the space before you (or if you find it easier, just feel his or her presence). Let the sense of separation between the two of you melt. Imagine all the person's suffering, confusion and worry surrounding him or her as a cloud of dark, hot, toxic smoke. Then as you inhale, draw the smoke into your heart and purify it, transforming it into pure white light. As you exhale, breathe out happiness and healing in the form of that light, and shower the other person with it." Click here to hear Steve's "innerview" with Dean Sluyter and to find out more about his book. http://www.consciouscarijoki.com

This practice can work with anyone from your cousin Vinnie you dread seeing at holiday time to Osama bin Laden. It even works on yourself. And in our conversation, Dean offered an important distinction: "When we say 'bless everyone' it doesn't mean don't defend yourself or your family, and it doesn't mean to defer to another's hatred or violence." Does that mean we can bomb 'em and bless 'em at the same time? Well, it's sure better than bombing them without blessing them -- because at the very least, it puts compassion in our hearts, and it stretches us (and our elected government, possibly) to take Uncle Albert's coaching and look for a solution beyond the problem.

For his part, Swami Beyondananda has launched a "Blisskrieg" to help use laughter to illuminate the darkness, and promises a "fight to the life": "We will light them on the land, we will light them on the sea .. we will even light them in their caves ..." Swami's controversial plan even involves dropping canisters of laughing gas in the midst of the Taliban not just to render them defenseless, but to cure their case of terminal humorrhoids. (

To hear the full text of Swami's message, and to see his piece on "How To Tell If A Dogma Is Friendly," click here

Subject: RE: BS: Serious Humour for Serious Times *g*
From: Mr Red
Date: 15 Nov 01 - 11:26 AM

I am gonna read this offline
BTW isn't (aren't?) terminal humorrhoids treatable with preparation OUCH! (Spike Milligan 1973)
AND don't fundamentalists always get them in the end?

Subject: RE: BS: Serious Humour for Serious Times *g*
From: Rollo
Date: 15 Nov 01 - 08:06 PM

In the old times there was the Laughter of The Gods. Mighty fine weapon against evil. Whoever terrorizes anyone or wields power, looses all might over other people when they laugh into his face...
Charlie Chaplin understood this. His parody on Adolf Hitler is perfect. Hitler had a demonic charisma, people got hysteric when he spoke. But whenever I see docu about Hitler in TV, Charlie Chaplin shouts "Shtonk!"
If every politician and every fanatic leader and every general and every big fat bully with no brain had a small man standing behind him, grimacing and shouting "Shtonk!" There would be a lot of less trouble in the world.
Personally, I find nothing in far-eastern lores. But Swami Beyondananda for sure has the better weapon against Al Khaida and Taliban than Prez. Bush.
By the way, did you know that not so long ago ritual laughter was practiced in christian churches, expecially on easter morning?

Subject: RE: BS: Serious Humour for Serious Times *g*
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Nov 01 - 04:57 PM

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Subject: RE: BS: Serious Humour for Serious Times *g*
From: Kaleea
Date: 17 Nov 01 - 02:29 AM

OK, in the interest of doing our Christian duty to pray for our enemies, let us all pray for oh sominex been later. Repeat after me: (to paraphrase Tevya in "Fiddling around on the Roof) God Bless Oh sominex and keep oh sominex Far away from us! (someplace hotter than the desert would do nicely)

Subject: RE: BS: Serious Humour for Serious Times *g*
From: Naemanson
Date: 17 Nov 01 - 08:51 AM

Wanted: For a world at peace.

Now taking applications for a series of positions in all major religions. The persons chosen must upbeat, people persons witha good sense of humor and a willingness to work with difficult people. We are seeking people to put the FUN back into Fundamentalism!

Subject: RE: BS: Serious Humour for Serious Times *g*
From: Maxine
Date: 17 Nov 01 - 09:13 AM

I have no idea what anyone's talking about - I have come to the conclusion I must be thick....

Subject: RE: BS: Serious Humour for Serious Times *g*
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Nov 01 - 09:52 PM

This arrived today via e-mail. I had hoped the sender would post it here, but she said I oughtta go for it myself!

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to cleanse the new bulb by full immersion, one to put in the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better. Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb; however, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved -- you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday, October 14. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change. Amish: What's a light bulb?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Serious Humour for Serious Times *g*
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 01 - 10:36 PM

And let's add:

Church of Common Sense: One if he know's what the fuck he's doing.