Lyr Req: What It Was, Was Football (Andy Griffith)

Subject: What it wus wus football
From: GUEST,Keith Bowman
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 02:00 PM

There is a song, I think by Andry Griffith about a football game. Some of the words are "Buddy have a Drank" I think I will, I'll have another orange drank. What is the name and where can I get the lyrics.

Subject: ADD: What it Was, Was Football (Andy Griffith)
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 02:05 PM

What It Was Was Football

It was back last October, I believe it was. We was a-goin' to hold a tent service off at this college town, and we got there about dinner time on Saturday. And different ones of us thought that we ought to get us a mouthful to eat before that we set up the tent. And so we got off of the truck and followed this little bunch of people through this small little bitty patch of woods there, and we came up on a big sign. It says, "Get somethin' to eat here." And I went up and got me two hot dogs and a big orange drink, and before that I could take ary mouthful of that food, this whole raft of people come up around me and got me to where I couldn't eat nothin', up like, and I dropped my big orange drink. I did. Well, friends, they commenced to move, and there wa'n't so much that I could do but move with 'em.

Well, we commenced to go through all kinds of doors and gates and I don't know what-all, and I looked up over one of 'em and it says, "North Gate." And we kept on a-goin' through there, and pretty soon we come up on a young boy and he says, "Ticket, please." And I says, "Friend, I don't have a ticket; I don't even know where it is that I'm a-goin'!" I did. Well, he says, "Come on out as quick as you can." And I says, "I'll do 'er; I'll turn right around the first chance I get."

Well, we kept on a-movin' through there, and pretty soon everybody got where it was that they was a-goin', because they parted and I could see pretty good. I could. And what I seen was this whole raft of people a-settin' on these two banks and a-lookin' at one another across this pretty little green cow pasture. Well, they was.

And somebody had took and drawed white lines all over it and drove posts in it, and I don't know what all, and I looked down there and I seen five or six convicts a-runnin' up and down and a-blowin' whistles. They was. And then I looked down there and I seen these pretty girls a-wearin' these little bitty short dresses and a-dancin' around, and so I set down, and thought I'd see what it was that was a-goin' to happen. I did.

And about the time I got set down good, I looked down there and I seen thirty or forty men come runnin' out of one end of a great big outhouse down there. They did! And everybody where I was a-settin' got up and hollered! And about that time thirty or forty come runnin' out of the other end of that outhouse, and the other bankful, they got up and hollered. And I asked this fella that was a-sittin' beside of me, I says, "Friend, what is it that they're a-hollerin' for?" Well, he whopped me on the back and he says, "Buddy, have a drink!" Well, I says, "I believe I will have another big orange." And I got it and set back down.

And when I got there again I seen that them men had got in two little bitty bunches down there, they had, real close together, and they voted. They did. They voted and elected one man apiece, and them two men come out in the middle of that cow pasture and shook hands like they hadn't seen one another in a long time. And then a convict came over to where they was a-standin', and he took out a quarter and they commenced to odd-man right there! They did. Well, after a while I seen what it was that they was odd-mannin' for. It was that both bunchesful of them men wanted this funny lookin' little pumpkin to play with. They did, and I know, friends, that they couldn't have eat it because they kicked it the whole evenin' and it never busted.

Both anyhow, what I was a-tellin' was, that both bunchesful wanted that thing. And one bunch got it and it made the other bunch just as mad as they could be! And, friends, I seen that evenin' the awfulest fight that I have ever have seen in my life. I did! They would run at one-another. and kick one-another, and throw one another down, and stomp on one another, and griiind their feet in one another, and I don't know what-all, and just as fast as one of 'em would get hurt, they'd tote him off and run another'n on!

Well, they done that as long as I set there, but pretty soon this boy that had said "Ticket, please," he come up to me and he says, "Friend, you're gonna have to leave because it is that you don't have a ticket." And I says, "Well, all right." And I got up and left. And I don't know, friends, to this day, what it was that they was a-doin' down there, but I have studied about it, and I think that it's some kindly of a contest where they see which bunchful of them men can take that pumpkin and run from one end of that cow pasture to the other'n without either gettin' knocked down or steppin' in somethin'.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What it wus wus football
From: Gary T
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 02:05 PM

It was by Andy Griffith and I believe the title is "What is was, was football." I would call it a story rather than a song--I don't recall any music involved. I'm pretty sure it was on an album of stories by him. As to the name of the album, or its current availability, I haven't a clue.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What it wus wus football
From: Dicho (Frank Staplin)
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 02:38 PM

Wit and Wisdom of Andy Griffith, Capitol-EMI B000002T6S. Both parts 1 and 2, What it was, was football, are on the current cd.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What it wus wus football
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 02:42 PM

Wahoo! My Aunt Corrine used to have that on a 78-rpm record when I was a kid – I think it filled both sides. That and several Spike Jones records. I always wanted to play one of them whenever I visited her house.

By the way, I believe on the record label he was called "Deacon Andy Griffith." And didn't he do at least one other comedy record along the same lines? That is, a naïve country bumpkin comes to the city and misunderstands everything he sees. If so, my aunt didn't have that one, so I don't recall the title or topic, but I'm pretty sure one exists.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What it wus wus football
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 03:00 PM

Yes Jim he did. There are quite a few he developed as part of his standup act when he first came onto the scene. The most famous were his renditions of Shakespeare. The one of those best known was Romeo and Juliet (If y'all wanta' save the price of a double funeral, it's best just to let them have a cheap weddin').

Spaw

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What it wus wus football
From: Kim C
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 05:53 PM

So Spaw, do you have the script for Who's on First? ;-)

Subject: Add: WHO'S ON FIRST? (Abbott & Costello)
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 07:16 PM

Okay Fiddlebum.......Just for you!

**********************************************************

Who's On First

Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. The Yankee's manager gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.

Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.

Abbott: I certainly do.

Costello: Well you know I've not met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.

Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.

Costello: You mean funny names?

Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...

Costello: His brother Daffy

Abbott: Daffy Dean...

Costello: And their French cousin.

Abbott: French?

Costello: Goofe'

Abbott: Goofe' Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...

Costello: That's what I want to find out.

Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.

Costello: Are you the manager?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: You gonna be the coach too?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names.

Abbott: Well I should.

Costello: Well then who's on first?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: I mean the fellow's name.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy on first.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The first baseman.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy playing...

Abbott: Who is on first!

Costello: I'm asking you who's on first.

Abbott: That's the man's name.

Costello: That's who's name?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's who?

Abbott: Yes.

Pause

Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: Who's playing first?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Abbott: Every dollar of it.

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy that gets...

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Who gets the money...

Abbott: He does, every dollar of it. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello: Who's wife?

Abbott: Yes.

Pause

Abbott: What's wrong with that?

Costello: what I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: How does he sign...

Abbott: That's how he signs it.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Yes.

Pause

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.

Abbott: No. What is on second base.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: One base at a time!

Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.

Costello: I'm not changing nobody!

Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.

Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: Ok.

Abbott: All right.

Pause

Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.

Costello: Now how did I get on third base?

Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.

Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?

Abbott: No. Who's playing first.

Costello: What's on base?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third.

Costello: There I go, back on third again!

Pause

Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.

Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?

Costello: Now who's playing third base?

Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?

Costello: What am I putting on third.

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: You don't want who on second?

Abbott: Who is on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Together: Third base!

Pause

Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.

Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.

Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.

Abbott: Who's playing first.

Costello: I'm not...stay out of the infield!!! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?

Abbott: No, What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first!

Costello: I don't know.

Together: Third base!

Pause

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: Because!

Abbott: Oh, he's center field.

Pause

Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The pitcher's name?

Abbott: Tomorrow.

Costello: You don't want to tell me today?

Abbott: I'm telling you now.

Costello: Then go ahead.

Abbott: Tomorrow!

Costello: What time?

Abbott: What time what?

Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?

Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.

Costello: I'll break your arm if you say who's on first!!! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Together: Third base!

Pause

Costello: Gotta a catcher?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: The catcher's name?

Abbott: Today.

Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.

Abbott: Now you've got it.

Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.

Pause

Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.

Abbott: So they tell me.

Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.

Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

Pause

Abbott: That's all you have to do.

Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.

Abbott: Yes!

Costello: Now who's got it?

Abbott: Naturally.

Pause

Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Naturally?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.

Abbott: No you don't you throw the ball to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's different.

Costello: That's what I said.

Abbott: You're not saying it...

Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.

Abbott: You throw it to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's what I said!

Abbott: You ask me.

Costello: I throw the ball to who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Now you ask me.

Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU!!! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!

Abbott: What?

Costello: I said I don't give a darn!

Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.

**********************************************************

Spaw

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What it wus wus football
From: Kim C
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 07:32 PM

Spaw you are my HERO!!!! Football and Who's on First all in the SAME THREAD!!!!!!!!!! I am going to dance class tonight and I promise a shimmy just in your honor. :-)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What it wus wus football
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 10:08 PM

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU, 'SPAW--Oh Gawd, I haven't laughed that much in ages; may have to go check the Depends!!

My sides hurt...

Lin :>D

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What it wus wus football
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 10:24 PM

Here's what any fan of Andy needs.......Click Here

You can see it includes all the winners.....

1. What It Was, Was Football, Pt. 1 & 2
2. Conversation With a Mule
3. The Preacher and the Bear
4. Andy and Cleopatra
5. Romeo & Juliet (Pt. 1-2)
6. The Discovery of America
7. Love Poems: "To the Lovely Juanita Beasley"
8. Swan Lake
9. Opera Carmen
10. Silhouettes

Spaw

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What it wus wus football
From: Kim C
Date: 21 Nov 01 - 10:34 AM

Andy Griffith is the best. Archie Campbell was another good one.

Jeez, whatever happened to good clean comedy?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What it wus wus football
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Nov 01 - 11:13 AM

Well shit Kim, that's a good point. Fucked if I know.

Spaw