The cat down for Thanksgiving

Subject: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: InOBU
Date: 27 Nov 01 - 07:50 AM

Since the Cat was down for the holiday, excuse that this is late. On one of the MC's annexes, I noticed some confusion among our English cousins about the holiday, so I thought I'd post a little explanation from our own family tradition...
Ever since the first Otway fell off the boat into the new world, we celbrate Thanksgiving by remembering the story of the frist thanksgiving. They youngest child, generally the only one sober enough to speak, tells this story, before joining the adults in a gin and tonic.... Story of the First Thanksgiving…

It was the night before Christmas, and the Pilgrims where feeling a bit peckish, after the long swim from England, the Mayflower having hit an iceberg and sank. Captain Smith ordered the woman and children into the life boats first, as he knew that there were not enough boats for all, an old tradition in the British maritime, only to find they had forgotten the life boats all together. Although they were still in the Themes Estuary and a scant 10 minute swim to Wapping, they decided that as long as they were already wet, they'd go for it and struck out for New York. On the way they talked it over and decided that as long as they were going through all the trouble they might as well swim to Massachusetts so that their grandkids would all be rich New Englanders in stead of poor New Yorkers, and who wanted to live in a city where the Mayor was a bad tempered Dutch guy with a wooden leg who called the place New Amsterdam anyway, so I am getting off the point, it was time for dinner.
So there were Indians there also, John Smith and his wife Pocahontas, because she was tired of her dad chasing her husband John around with an axe every time he made the same old joke "Hey, did the White guys pay the rent yet?".
Christopher Columbus got the place of honor at the head of the table. He was very old at this point, and probably dead, but was such a figure of respect that no one told him, but rather made sure the head of the table was down wind from everyone and they didn't ask Chris to carve the turkey or they'd all starve. The Turkeys were much larger then, as it was a long time ago and they were still evolving from their Dinosaur ancestors, so one or two fed all of New England, and there was still some left to make clothes out of. So, now you know why we pardon a Turkey at the white house every year, then chop its head off and eat it. Happy Thanks Giving to all and to all a good night, after a little Alka-Seltzer
Cheers Larry

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: MMario
Date: 27 Nov 01 - 09:08 AM

Yup - that's about the way I've heard the story - except of course for Squanto teaching them how to grow corn by planting herring; and then the Lone Ranger and Tonto show up (late) for dessert with popcorn.

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: Raptor
Date: 27 Nov 01 - 09:11 AM

Larry
I'm sorry you had to put your cat down!
And on thanksgiving too! Bummer.
Raptor

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: Raptor
Date: 27 Nov 01 - 09:12 AM

We may need to put my sister down She's peeing all over the place. I know how you feel!
Raptor

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: InOBU
Date: 27 Nov 01 - 12:09 PM

DON'T PUT YOUR SISTER DOWN BIG BIRD! Send her to Canada! We can rent her to Hydro Quebec! Cheers, Happy Holidays!

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Nov 01 - 12:21 PM

Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night!

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: M.Ted
Date: 27 Nov 01 - 12:42 PM

You left out the part about Cranberries, which are not berries at all, but some kind of theological point that was debated between the Puritans and the Quakers, who finally left because they were tired of getting hit on the head with sticks, so they moved to Pennsylvania where they invented pencils.

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: InOBU
Date: 27 Nov 01 - 05:27 PM

M-TED! I did not realize you where among the Bretherin. Contrary to the common belief that we have no secrets, promoted by our tirades against Free Masons, we actualy have one secret and M. Ted has revield it here, so he and I are both now on the Quaker hit list. We have to go now and return our Pencils to the Great Mother Superior of the Pennsylvania meeting. Darn. Larry

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: Guessed
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 11:35 AM

Why was the 'cat down and is there an explanation?
Lots of sites were DOWN at the same time including (notably) e-mail ones like joymail, no virus warning other than BadTrans and no buzz about DoS.
conspiracy theories at the ready............

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: InOBU
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 11:49 AM

The Cat was down because a number of Pshycic Quakers new that M.Ted was going to reveil our greatest secret, and hoped that they could foil the attempt and obviously did not, Larry

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 01:24 PM

But of course The Cat Came Back, so that's all right.

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: GUEST,Gassed
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 08:50 PM

Those "Pshycic" (hic!)Quakers have a lot to answer for. Pass the seltzer please.

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Nov 01 - 01:48 AM

And here we thought it was just an excuse to eat turkey twice a year......

Cranberries make nice tree decorations don't they? And popcorn. And after the cat has knocked the tree over twice a day for the 12 days of Christmas (the only 12 your tree should be up....... person down the road with tree all lit up in front window already, take note....)you can sling the strings out into the garden to feed the birds.

(Actually Massechusetts was founded by someone who lived in my home town, we got aged Americans coming over to 'visit the old country' every summer.... so I know why it was named after a pile of teeth....)

LTS

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Nov 01 - 01:50 AM

~And I don't mean to be nasty or picky, but has the 'Cat sitter been arranged for Christmas yet? I couldn't bear it if I had to spend that week without an intelligent conversation about something other than Barbie, lack of ice-cream maker and more beer.....

LTS

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Nov 01 - 03:51 AM

but those seem rather intelligent topics to me....

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Nov 01 - 08:10 PM

Intelligent?? If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends and family??

And how many jobs has that girl had? She'll never get anywhere changing from vet to nurse to lawyer to high class hooker every day.....

And if she were intelligent, she'd ditch that flock head Ken and go out with someone with a willy. LTS

Subject: RE: The cat down for Thanksgiving
From: InOBU
Date: 01 Dec 01 - 09:14 AM

Did you hear that Japanese comercial fishermen by huge numbers of barbies to use as bate? No kidding the hair attracts fish and they are durable! Cheers, Larry