BS: For the physicists (no music content)

Subject: For the physicists (no music content)
From:
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 04:16 PM

Just a bit of BS which I thought was amusing, no folk but given some of the "science threads" could be deemed ok.

Rana

At a physics party...
Everyone gravitated toward Newton, but he just kept moving around at a constant velocity and showed no reaction.
Einstein thought it was a relatively good time.
Coulomb got a real charge out of the whole thing.
Cavendish wasn't invited, but he had the balls to show up anyway.
Cauchy, being the only mathematician there, still managed to integrate well with everyone.
Thompson enjoyed the plum pudding.
Pauli came late, but was mostly excluded from things, so he split.
Pascal was under too much pressure to enjoy himself.
Ohm spent most of the time resisting Ampere's opinions on current events.
Hamilton went to the buffet tables exactly once.
Volt thought the social had a lot of potential.
Hilbert was pretty spaced out for most of it.
Heisenberg may or may not have been there.
The Curies were there and just glowed the whole time.
van der Waals forced himeself to mingle.
Wien radiated a colourful personality.
Millikan dropped his Italian oil dressing.
de Broglie mostly just stood in the corner and waved.
Hollerith liked the hole idea.
Stefan and Boltzman got into some hot debates.
Everyone was attracted to Tesla's magnetic personality.
Compton was a little scatter-brained at times.
Bohr ate too much and got atomic ache.
Watt turned out to be a powerful speaker.
Hertz went back to the buffet table several times a minute.
Faraday had quite a capacity for food.
Oppenheimer got bombed.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: The Walrus
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 04:38 PM

Schrödinger was a pain, he spent the whole time worrying about his cat

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 04:42 PM

I get most of these, but could someone please explain why "Pascal was under too much pressure to enjoy himself"?

Murray

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 04:45 PM

Sure it's music-- talking-blues material.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 04:48 PM

a pascal is a unit of pressure

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 06:18 PM

I co-authored a paper one time giving pressures in pascals, abreviated Pa. The copy editor must have been an electrical engineer, because in the galley proofs we found pressure units changed to pA, pico-amperes.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 06:24 PM

heheheheh... fuckin guy !!! What a card !!

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 06:37 PM

Copernicus kept going around in circles.
Fahrenheit and Celsius got into a heated dispute.
Priestley went out for some fresh air.
Halley returned after 53 years.
Kant criticized everything.
Mendeleyev arranged everything on the table, periodically.
Dewar brought his own flask. Hawking got a big bang out of it.
Van de Graff did something shocking, but got no reaction from Fermi.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 06:49 PM

Boyle pressured Charles to come, but it just raised his temperature.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Willa
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 06:58 PM

Stephenson was mainlining

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Joe_F
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 07:02 PM

"Volt" should be (Alessandro) Volta.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 07:46 PM

Now THIS is guenuinely FUNNY stuff. Thanks for posting. It fits right in with the Fish Thread from years ago. It will go to work with me tonight.

THANX

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: mooman
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 07:51 PM

Feinman didn't have the energy to reverse the effect of scrambled eggs and spent most of the night in the uranium.

Planck went on constantly but while equating with it Dirac got all in a quantum.

Yang and Mill insisted on running round annoying everybody with superstring poppers.

Ulam and von Neumann found the whole affair rather tiresome and headed off for Monte Carlo.

Cerenkov was chatting up an attractive blond but lost interest when he detected her ring.

Murray Gell-Mann found it charming that the caterers had used quark instead of butter.

mooman

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 08:00 PM

For once I agree with Garg....Absolutely hilarious!!

And mooman, thanks for adding in Feynman and Gell-Mann, two of my favorite people.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 08:59 PM

(to Col. Bogey's March)

"Physics is what we learned in class
Einstein said 'energy is mass'
Curie rides in a surry
And Pascal's a rascal,--so's Boyle"

"Trolley, he made the trolley car
Leyden, he made the Leyden jar
Newton is highfalutin'
And Diesel's a weasel,--so's Boyle"

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 09:00 PM

Feynmann's book is a scream. Have it, Pat?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 09:01 PM

Galilei got the drop on everyone by insisting that the room was moving nevertheess.

Boyle kept the hostess under a constant pressure by adding gas.

Pribam kept insisting the whole thing was a projection.

Carnot drank so much he got completely dissipated and lay down level on the floor, exhausted.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 10:13 PM

Le Chatlier appeared to be drunk but just lost his equilibrium.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 10:48 PM

Wyzzy......Which one? LOL....I agree, but I have all of Feynman's books including a leather bound collection and a copy of "The Feynman Lectures" which is the most understandable thing I ever read about physics. I bet you're talking about "Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman" which contains basically his biography and some really wonderful stories.

Funny thing......He believed he had no social skills and didn't operate too well in social situations and yet he was extremely funny and one of the most caring and compassionate human beings imaginable. Wonderful man. One of my very few heroes.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 12:16 AM

There was a great documentary interview with him. I fell in love instantly. Yes, Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynmann! is the one I was referring to.... locksmithing! LOL!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 12:30 AM

A helical wiggler quite perverse,
When amock ran obliquely transverse.
The photons then emitted,
In strings tightly knitted,
Were polarized square or much worse.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Mr Red
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 09:54 AM

Steffan & Bolztman are always constantly at it.

Here's looking at Euclid.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 10:09 AM

Euclid!! That square. Always running around looking for the angle. Acts as though he's got somethin' to prove.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 10:13 AM

Spaw, WYSIWYG, and other Feynman admirers: some websites you might enjoy:

http://www.feynmanonline.com/

http://www.zyvex.com/nanotech/feynmanWeb.html

Actually there's a maddening wealth of info about Feynman on the web. Google came up with 26,200 hits on "Richard Feynman."

And ["Richard Feynman" Tuva] got 841 hits!

["Richard Feynman" bongo] got 413 hits!

["Richard Feynman" safecracker] got 116 hits!

Here's an article that sums it all up: Popularity of Late Physicist Revived on Internet.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Mr Red
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 10:07 AM

Who's that big Bohr in the corner?

& the guy handing out the prizes - How Nobel of him - Is he with Dyna Mite? - (the best bang since the Big One).

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 10:17 AM

Anyone else read "Tuva or Bust!" by Feynman and Ralph Leighton?

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Mr Red
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 10:21 AM

Saw the TV program about it. Very interesting.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 11:11 AM

Thanks Jim......I do a lot of surfing and once spent several days just playing the Feynman sites. There was a quality of self-effacement about him that is so appealing....A combination of little boy with wise sage, true genius with complete buffoon, cold scientist with deep spiritualist.......just amazing. The story of his first mariage and her death with his reactions ranks as one of the greatest love stories of all time. Feynman's ability to reduce things to simple and small details and then become passionate in exploring the tiniest of them.....The ultimate jokester who loved being the butt of a joke himself.........Man, he was beautiful.

Yes Lynn I have and it's a great example of how his mind worked too. I think though some of my favorite things are all the ways in which he was a teacher. All the qualities that I mentioned above made him a natural when combined with his ability to communicate.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 11:41 AM

Spaw et al:

A brilliant imaginary interview between Bill Gates and Richard Feynman. Loved it.

A

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 12:16 PM

It is brilliant Amos....I had not seen that before. Thanks a lot.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: wildlone
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 12:24 PM

Buckmaster Fuller was full of balls
Watson Watt sang "radar love"

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Micca
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 12:32 PM

Amos, thanks from me too, Feynman has been one of my heros since I first heard of him about 35 years ago, The BBC devoted several editions of its prestigious "hard science" program " Horizon" to him and he made things so easy to understand!!!
I have worked in Science Ed for most of my working life and I always recommended him to students who were either having difficulty with a concept in Physics, or who were just interested in seeing further into it. He was truly an inspiration to ANYONE involved with Science, and was one if the people I "most wanted to meet", Thank you Rana, for this thread to a wonderful personal Hero!

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Sooz
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 01:31 PM

Loved them all - thanks for the laughs. Hope nobody minds if I pass them on to the Science Year newsletter.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Joe_F
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 09:07 PM

There are, actually, physicists' songs. Not many, but some. I listened to some records in the '50s & '60s. I wish I could get hold of them now, but they must be very rare.

There was a gang of experimenters who had among them a pretty good jazz pianist and who sang (probably on a 78)

THE CYCLOTRONISTS' NIGHTMARE

Once upon a midnight dreary,
The cyclotron crew was weak and weary.
In walked the boss with a smile so cheery.
In walked the boss with a very broad smile.
"Boys," he said, "we have a wonderful chance."
"Boys," he said, "it'll make you wanna dance."
"Boys," he said, "we must activate some iron --
80 millicuries by half past nine!"

Round and round and round go the deuterons.
Round and round the magnet swings them.
Round and round and round go the deuterons.
Smack! in the target goes the ion beam.

On a later record there was a lament about the rise of big science with the building of the big accelerators:

Take back your billion dollars!
Let's be physicists again.

Also, while I was an undergraduate at Caltech in the 1950s, the following, to the tune of "No Balls at All", was attributed to Bob Leighton of blessed memory:

We have mesons pi and we have mesons mu,
And mesons that serve as a nuclear glue,
We have mesons large and we have mesons small,
Plus charge or minus, or no charge at all.

What! No charge at all?
No! No charge at all!
A very small rest mass and no charge at all.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Sooz
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 10:31 AM

By the wat - if Halley had returned after 53 years no-one would have been looking out for him. (Should be 76!)

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 10:44 AM

Ain't it faskinatin how there are folkies who love science? And I guess there are some who imagine rest mass is the money you save up for long term care! Takes all kinds to make a mad planet, dunnit? Sometimes I think life is the greatest show on Earth!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Willa
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 04:16 PM

Logie Baird all
Watt let off steam
Nils was just a Bohr

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 04:20 PM

Archimedes to Willa, "You're in hot water now." (and I've been there)

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Willa
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 06:31 PM

Oh dear, Archimedes! I Ergs you to tell me - Watt Dewar do to Coulomb down?

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 06:50 PM

Re Halley: I read somewhere that when Halley discovered his famous comet, he predicted it would return in 53 years. Maybe Halley was a bit off in his calculation. Or maybe my source was wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:50 PM

Ah, dats Fermi to know und you to find out! Just try to Coulomb down a bit. Perhaps you could Planck some ice cubes into the bath water, Joule know soon enough if it works.

Subject: RE: BS: For the physicists (no music content)
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:38 PM

Quantum makeum shutup mit der puns aller time??

LOL!!