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BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Biskit Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:39 PM My Grandma Becky always used to say,{puttin' up with somethin'is just ASKIN' for more of the same!} I read this whole durned thing so as to make sure nobody had used that frontal lobotomy thing and wouldn't ya just know...... ~B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,SlickerBill Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:27 PM Having smoking sections in restaurants is like having peeing sections in swimming pools. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy The C students rule the world (Harry S Truman) Everything tastes more or less like chicken. (Mark Twain) Kids are assholes. But they're THEIR OWN assholes. (Utah Philips) SB |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Devilmaster Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:08 PM Number One rule fer me: 'Just think about how dumb the average person is............... ..........And then realize that half the people are dumber than that.' - George Carlin Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Anahootz Date: 24 Jan 02 - 08:44 PM Another, this one from a guy I fished for many years ago, along the lines of Making Hay While the Sun Shines: "Sleep Is For Poor People." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,anahootz needs a cookie reset Date: 24 Jan 02 - 08:39 PM A business associate of mine, on the merits and shortfalls of greed: "Pigs get fed. Hogs get slaughtered." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Ian Darby Date: 24 Jan 02 - 08:23 PM "I've a great future behind me." "You've a fine head of skin." "Everything in me favour is against me." "People who live in glass houses shouldn't get stoned." "One swallow doesn't make a summer, but it's a pleasant enough way of finishing off an evening." (W Clinton) "Don't be tempted to splash out on a new dress for your girlfriend, no matter how special the occassion." (as above) "A bird in the hand shits on the wrist." "There ain't no Sanity Clause". (Marx Bros) "I don't understand how electricity works, all I know is that it calms me." (Emo Philips) And from a defunct and much missed Celtic web-site.. "Very funny Scotty, now beam me down my clothes." "I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car." "The gene pool could use a little chlorine." "If a man is alone in a forest with no woman around to hear, is he still wrong?"
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,Yum Yum Date: 24 Jan 02 - 08:21 PM Honest! I have nothing against knickers!!! Yum Yum |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,Yum Yum Date: 24 Jan 02 - 08:14 PM Laugh?__ I thought my knickers would never dry! Call this a party? If I could find my knickers I'd go home. Yum Yum |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,petr Date: 24 Jan 02 - 07:57 PM tips. dont fry bacon with no shirt on. dont squat with spurs on. never eat anything bigger than your head. my friends dad used to say. man I love beer, I could suck beer through a shitty rag. give me immortality or give me death.
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,Azaelia Brockhouse Date: 24 Jan 02 - 07:34 PM My dad said: You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. But you can make him damn sorry he didn't drink. My mom said: Eat, drink and be merry, as long as oil remaineth in the lamp, for who knows if in the other world there be a tavern. My favorite: There are no free lunches! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Bill D Date: 24 Jan 02 - 07:32 PM "We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true." -- Robert Wilensky, University of California "Of course, we still haven't proved that the average internet user has anywhere close to the intellect of a monkey"... -- Karl Larson, WebTV |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Bill D Date: 24 Jan 02 - 07:27 PM "I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else." --Lily Tomlin |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Bill D Date: 24 Jan 02 - 07:01 PM "It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide" who remembers? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: catspaw49 Date: 24 Jan 02 - 05:32 PM In thinking about the A.Lincoln quote, reminds that, "You can be in my dream if I can be in yours." .............Bob Dylan Also.....
"Take it easy......But take it." Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,Irish Sergeant Date: 24 Jan 02 - 04:05 PM O.K. Sportsfans here goes. Stupid people shouldn't breed. measure twice, cut once Beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes clear to the bone. "you can fool some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time but you can't fool all of the people all of the time" Abraham Lincoln. "MAke your descision. if you get up the next moring and you can look yourself in the mirror, you made the right one." Vernon MacMillan (my father) "All God's Chilluns got guns" Groucho Marx "You ask me why i don't drink water? Because fish %#@* in it" Attributed to William Claude Dunkenfield (W.C. Fields) You! Out of the gene pool! Have a great evening and welcome to Mudcat Rustic Rebel! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Kenny B (inactive) Date: 24 Jan 02 - 03:59 PM For jobs around the house
"Its in year three of the rolling five year plan"
"What I like about the theatre - the roar of the greasepaint and the smell of the crowd" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Rustic Rebel Date: 24 Jan 02 - 03:16 PM I want to thank all of you for joining this thread! My first post and I was a little reluctant to do so,but coming on today and seeing so much wonderful feedback,and insight into people,and good humor, Thanks! I love you all!! I have another addition, it's a toast I use; I drink to your health in the taverns, I drink to your health in my home. I drink to your health so many times, I've damn near ruined my own!^ Thanks all for making me feel at home. Rustic |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: kendall Date: 24 Jan 02 - 02:59 PM Dont own anything that has to be fed or painted. (Utah Phillips). Spaw, I expect Dorothy Parker looked better in her nightie than Shakespere did in his. Men/women are like dog turds. The older they are, the easier it is to pick them up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: catspaw49 Date: 24 Jan 02 - 02:16 PM Ol' Zig huh Kim? Not going to throw in his attitude/aptitude/altitude line? Geeziz, is he still alive and selling that crock of shit? Amazing......... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Kim C Date: 24 Jan 02 - 02:08 PM I went to a seminar once where Zig Ziglar said, Money will buy you a bed but it won't buy you a good night's sleep. There is no profit in ifs. We must go from where we stand. -- from one of the Cadfael mysteries There's a quote by Mark Twain that I really like but I can never seem to remember it exactly. It's something like, our Creator has endowed us with three things: freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the prudence to exercise neither. Wasn't it Thoreau or Emerson who said to beware of enterprises that require new clothes? Although I've never lived by that one... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Mickey191 Date: 24 Jan 02 - 01:22 PM And don't repeat yourself-it's bloody boring. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Bobert Date: 24 Jan 02 - 01:22 PM Ahhhhh, LET'S GET NUDE! Ol bobert's just funnin' folks. How about your dad's advice for you after you jumped from the roof into an inflatable swimming pool and ii is obvious to everyone that what you need is an ambulance. Ahhhh, SHAKE IT OFF, KID! Or my favorite. Ahhh, IF THE LORD LOOKS AFTER FOOLS AND KIDS THEN I GOT DOUBLE COVERAGE!... And, lastly, froms Tweedsburg. DUCT TAPE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND! the bobert
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Subject: My Laws... stolen as they may be From: Clinton Hammond Date: 24 Jan 02 - 01:22 PM CLINTON'S LAWS
1 Unconditional love does not mean blind acceptance of negative behaviour.
2 It's not half full. It's not half empty. It's on its way to being topped up!
3 Forget milk!!! Guinness was made for moustaches.
4 "It'll either sound good, or it'll suck..."
5 When in doubt, Alpha strike. With the Kaufman Retrograde if necessary...
6 Don't think about it.... have some brandy... and get out of those wet clothes.
7 Never throw your weapon. It may be handed back to you.
8 The quickest way to a mans heart is a sharp upward stab between the ribs.
9 Never give a Celt an even break... Compound fractures heal slower.
10 Never eat Jolly Ranchers
11 Never be daunted in public... and if you are... go away like a cat!
12 Poetry weakens the blood.... A good roast is worth its weight in poetry and history!
13 It's better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool.
14 There's always someone in the lobby that isn't supposed to be there.
15 Don't talk to me with your pants down!
16 "Shut your pee-pee hole and drink this!"
17 Pain is inevitable, misery is optional.
18 Never eat anything that moves, never drink anything you can't spell.
19 Bare the arm without shield
20 Don't run! It makes you look like food. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST Date: 24 Jan 02 - 01:21 PM Your looking well, are you sick?. Paddy Joe. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Bobert Date: 24 Jan 02 - 01:21 PM Ahhhhh, LET'S GET NUDE! Ol bobert's just funnin' folks. How about your dad's advice for you after you jumped from the roof into an inflatable swimming pool and ii is obvious to everyone that what you need is an ambulance. Ahhhh, SHAKE IT OFF, KID! Or my favorite. Ahhh, IF THE LORD LOOKS AFTER FOOLS AND KIDS THEN I GOT DOUBLE COVERAGE!... And, lastly, froms Tweedsburg. DUCT TAPE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND! the bobert
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Mickey191 Date: 24 Jan 02 - 01:18 PM Two good pieces of advice. Never lick a steak knife,and never take a laxative and sleeping pill together. Slainte |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 24 Jan 02 - 01:14 PM bbc, my son the engineer says, "Can't see it from my house." Also, "Good enough for government work." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Bill D Date: 24 Jan 02 - 01:11 PM following my own advice, I searched and found: "Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks." Goethe "All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few." Stendhal "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." Galileo Galilei "The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball." Doug Larson happy hunting! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST Date: 24 Jan 02 - 01:04 PM You`re looking well,are you sick?.Paddy Joe. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Bill D Date: 24 Jan 02 - 12:57 PM I have WAY too many to consider what to choose, because the WWW and internet not only collect them, but offer you programs to insert them into your email, sign your newsgroups posts....and generally inundate you with so much cleverness by others that you may give up trying to BE clever yourself! do you doubt me?....do a Google search on "taglines" or "signatures" ...but, my Daddy used to have a bunch:
"...next October, at 4 o'clock" the one I invented was "Entropy will get you, if you don't watch out!...In fact, Entropy will get you even if you DO watch out" *thinking of 'good' ones to offer* |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: The Walrus at work Date: 24 Jan 02 - 12:50 PM That's the thing about being a pessimist, you don't get disappointed. W |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Lyrical Lady Date: 24 Jan 02 - 12:47 PM Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed ....(words from my mother which unfortunately ring true more times than not.) LL |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: catspaw49 Date: 24 Jan 02 - 12:43 PM Well geez Kendall, that crap just goes to show how little Shakespeare actually knew. I think Dorothy Parker had it better with, "Brevity is the soul of lingerie." Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: kendall Date: 24 Jan 02 - 12:39 PM No amount of belief can create a fact. We have met the enemy, and, he is us. (Pogo) I'm not the man I used to think I was. (not sure, maybe mine) Music hath charm to soothe the savage BREAST.(Congreve) All that GLISTERS is not gold. Shakespere) Brevity is the soul of wit. (Shakespere) I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees.(Irish proverb?) Iron is tempered by fire, mankind by adversity. (Seneca) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: The Walrus at work Date: 24 Jan 02 - 12:35 PM When a deal looks too good to be true.....It usually is ! After a particularly BAD joke (or an attempt to BS me that didn't work) I have been heard to mutter "Yes, very good. Now sit back in your chair and we'll plug it in" One of my Father's was "If "If"s and "And"s were pots and pans, we'd have no need of tinkers". Another one of Dad's that I've found myself using - "I'm not quite as green as I'm cabbage looking" Walrus |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: catspaw49 Date: 24 Jan 02 - 12:33 PM ah yes....Bumper sticker philosophy........Gotta' love it. I have a couple that I tend use myself:
"If I laugh at any mortal thing, 'tis that I may not weep."
"There is only what is; what should be never existed." Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,Les/ Manchester uk Date: 24 Jan 02 - 12:21 PM If their is one thing I would like to know, it's where I am going to die. Because If I knew, I wouldn't go there.
Once upon a time their were 2 rabbits, look how many their are now.
What has 7 eyes and cannot see? Three blind mice and half a pigs head
The dyslexic assassins of Iran would like to appologies for the death of Willie Rushton. OK. that was a joke. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Pooby Date: 24 Jan 02 - 11:52 AM Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. (Groucho Marx) When you assume, you make an ass out of U and Me. (Felix Unger) All that is gold does not glitter. (I think it was either Samwise Gamgee or Frodo Baggins) The drunker I sit here, the longer I get. (Anon.) Just a sampling, mind you. Pooby |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,bbc at work Date: 24 Jan 02 - 11:38 AM From my mom in Missouri: It wouldn't be noticed on a galloping horse. Upgrade from my fantasy-loving son: It wouldn't be noticed on a *flying* horse! bbc, keeping tradition alive in the family |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Midchuck Date: 24 Jan 02 - 11:28 AM Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment. You get what you pay for. (Not by any means strictly true in all cases, but worth considering when something seems like a really good deal.) Afore I was desperate enuff to use your brains, I'd use my own! (Pogo, of course. The second saddest thing about growing older is that fewer and fewer people remember Pogo.) Peter. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Dave Wynn Date: 24 Jan 02 - 11:25 AM "The harder I worked the luckier I got"...Norman Wisdom |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 24 Jan 02 - 11:18 AM I know I should read things before I post them... the line is, "You get the life you PERcieve." Please be kind... Jerry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 24 Jan 02 - 11:17 AM Mark Knopfler sang, "sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug." And, apropos to the emotions that are running high around here among some people, someone said (perhaps it was even me, although I don't want to take credit for it,)"You get the life you receive." I liked the way that Kendal said it better, though. Jerry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,swirlygirl Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:32 AM Some days you have to accept that you're the statue and other days you're the pigeon... :) xxx |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: JedMarum Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:20 AM these are great! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Kim C Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:15 AM One day Mister burst forth with this little gem: Sometimes ya pokes the cow, and sometimes the cow pokes you. Another one he likes to say, that he didn't make up, is: A bear sleeps in a bear skin, I suppose; I slept in my bare skin and damn near froze. A faithful heart makes wishes come true. - from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart. - from O Brother Badger me not with details. - from A Knight's Tale Serenity NOW! - from Seinfeld Anything John Prine ever wrote. I think he said, the sheriff is near. - from... well, y'all know where it's from. :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Bat Goddess Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:40 AM "Be yourself -- everyone else is taken." "All that glitters may not be gold, but at least it contains free electrons." Linn |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Murph10566 Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:38 AM To Mrrzy - Either Lily Tomlin or Jane Fonda ? One of my favorites is by Ben Franklin: "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Happy Murph |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: KingBrilliant Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:35 AM Mrrzy - was it Lily Tomlin? That's the other actress I remember from 9 to 5. But there was another one? It was a long time ago I watched that... Kris |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,Russ Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:14 AM No matter where you go, there you are. (Buckaroo Banzai) |