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BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: catspaw49 Date: 24 Jan 02 - 05:32 PM In thinking about the A.Lincoln quote, reminds that, "You can be in my dream if I can be in yours." .............Bob Dylan Also.....
"Take it easy......But take it." Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Bill D Date: 24 Jan 02 - 07:01 PM "It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide" who remembers? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Bill D Date: 24 Jan 02 - 07:27 PM "I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else." --Lily Tomlin |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Bill D Date: 24 Jan 02 - 07:32 PM "We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true." -- Robert Wilensky, University of California "Of course, we still haven't proved that the average internet user has anywhere close to the intellect of a monkey"... -- Karl Larson, WebTV |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,Azaelia Brockhouse Date: 24 Jan 02 - 07:34 PM My dad said: You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. But you can make him damn sorry he didn't drink. My mom said: Eat, drink and be merry, as long as oil remaineth in the lamp, for who knows if in the other world there be a tavern. My favorite: There are no free lunches! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,petr Date: 24 Jan 02 - 07:57 PM tips. dont fry bacon with no shirt on. dont squat with spurs on. never eat anything bigger than your head. my friends dad used to say. man I love beer, I could suck beer through a shitty rag. give me immortality or give me death.
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,Yum Yum Date: 24 Jan 02 - 08:14 PM Laugh?__ I thought my knickers would never dry! Call this a party? If I could find my knickers I'd go home. Yum Yum |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,Yum Yum Date: 24 Jan 02 - 08:21 PM Honest! I have nothing against knickers!!! Yum Yum |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Ian Darby Date: 24 Jan 02 - 08:23 PM "I've a great future behind me." "You've a fine head of skin." "Everything in me favour is against me." "People who live in glass houses shouldn't get stoned." "One swallow doesn't make a summer, but it's a pleasant enough way of finishing off an evening." (W Clinton) "Don't be tempted to splash out on a new dress for your girlfriend, no matter how special the occassion." (as above) "A bird in the hand shits on the wrist." "There ain't no Sanity Clause". (Marx Bros) "I don't understand how electricity works, all I know is that it calms me." (Emo Philips) And from a defunct and much missed Celtic web-site.. "Very funny Scotty, now beam me down my clothes." "I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car." "The gene pool could use a little chlorine." "If a man is alone in a forest with no woman around to hear, is he still wrong?"
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,anahootz needs a cookie reset Date: 24 Jan 02 - 08:39 PM A business associate of mine, on the merits and shortfalls of greed: "Pigs get fed. Hogs get slaughtered." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Anahootz Date: 24 Jan 02 - 08:44 PM Another, this one from a guy I fished for many years ago, along the lines of Making Hay While the Sun Shines: "Sleep Is For Poor People." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Devilmaster Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:08 PM Number One rule fer me: 'Just think about how dumb the average person is............... ..........And then realize that half the people are dumber than that.' - George Carlin Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,SlickerBill Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:27 PM Having smoking sections in restaurants is like having peeing sections in swimming pools. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy The C students rule the world (Harry S Truman) Everything tastes more or less like chicken. (Mark Twain) Kids are assholes. But they're THEIR OWN assholes. (Utah Philips) SB |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Biskit Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:39 PM My Grandma Becky always used to say,{puttin' up with somethin'is just ASKIN' for more of the same!} I read this whole durned thing so as to make sure nobody had used that frontal lobotomy thing and wouldn't ya just know...... ~B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: MarkS Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:40 PM Hey Bill D - I remember. Right along with references to axolotls. Too bad Gaines passed on. Anyhow The first hundred years are the hardest. Easier after that because your chances of dying after age 100 are sooo slim. I may be fat but you are ugly and I can diet. Hiring that guy is like two good men gone! And for the intellectuals among us, Illigitimi casuum bonum non dabis.* Mark *Never give a bastard an even break. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: SINSULL Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:57 PM You can visit anywhere twice ...the second time to apologize for the first - Lou Sullivan It doesn't matter where you are, it is your reason for being there _ Utah Phillips All that glistens is not gold - I thought that was Rabbie Burns in his poem about the kitty who drowns in the goldfish bowl????? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: kendall Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:12 PM It's GLISTERS ,not glitters. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Chip2447 Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:38 PM Don't get excited, don't sweat the small shit. Shit happens, when the shitcans's full...FLUSH IT. "Think of it as Evolution in action." Larry Niven Trying to swim in the deep end of the gene pool without a Life guard. My dad says this all the time..."Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without." (Insert your favorite organization, employer or person here)"....Is like a fan. If you stand behind (them/it), (they/it) sucks. In front of (them/it),(they/it) blows. ANd if you stand beside (them/it), (they/it)(dont/doesn't) do a damn thing." As popular as a turd in a punch bowl. Shit in one hand and wish in the other. We'll see which one fills up faster. Chip2447 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Anahootz Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:42 PM Nullum Gratuitum Prandium: There is no Free Lunch. Non Illigitimi Carborundum Est: Don't let the Bastards Grind you Down. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Stilly River Sage Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:45 PM Mark Twain, in "James Fennimore Cooper's Literary Offenses": Eschew surplusage.
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Mickey191 Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:20 AM My favorite-You grow old too soon and smart too late. Bette Davis-Growing old ain't for sissies.> Totie Fields-Lord, if you can't make me skinny,please make my friends fat. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Ebbie Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:48 AM Who was it who said about a certain man: He's invited to all of the best houses - ONCE. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Anahootz Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:53 AM "I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then" Rings rather true, no? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: kendall Date: 25 Jan 02 - 09:03 AM "He has given Sodomy a bad name." (Winston Churchill) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,swirlygirl Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:16 AM "Familiarity breeds contempt and children" :) xxx |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Bill D Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:44 AM "Perspicatious propensities toward propitious propinquity predominately precipitate proliferous progeny" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Stilly River Sage Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:50 AM No one plays with whiners. (playground wisdom) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Kim C Date: 25 Jan 02 - 12:01 PM I like to say sometimes - and I think I've said it here at some point - when one door closes, another opens. And if another doesn't open, the Lord will give you a sledgehammer to bust it down. There was something my hero Dave Barry said once, that was a clever conglomeration of several old chestnuts - something like, grab the bull while it's hot or get off the pot. One of my fave John Prine lines: I wish you don't do like I do/and ever fall in love with someone like you. Spaw, it was a long time ago that I saw Zig. He was actually pretty entertaining. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: The Walrus at work Date: 25 Jan 02 - 12:23 PM "Money can't buy you happiness.....but it makes misery a bloody sight more comfortable!" "You can ride a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead" (can anyone remember who came out with that one? because I can't) Or as I am want to say on occasion when things go wrong: "In the words of the prophet - Oh Bugger!" Walrus |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: leprechaun Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:06 PM Of most of my clients: Crooked as a dog's hind leg. (contributed by my Dad) On life in general: It's great to be alive; it's great to be an all-American boy. (contributed by my brother) On the proliferation of drug dealers in my little town: It was easier to remember all their names when there were only about a thousand of them. (mine) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: catspaw49 Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:13 PM "Lie, deny, and make counter allegations." Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Stilly River Sage Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:19 PM Don't know about the pencil/lead line, but Dorothy Parker came up with "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Deda Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:27 PM One of my own: Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder. Mark Twain: People generally rejoice when someone is born and mourn when he dies. This is because they are not the person involved. (May not be exactly verbatim.) I have to point out that the latin expressions above about bastards are both fake and incorrect Latin. Entertaining but not technically right. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,Chip A. Date: 25 Jan 02 - 02:45 PM Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Greyeyes Date: 25 Jan 02 - 02:51 PM If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence and blame someone else. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: fat B****rd Date: 25 Jan 02 - 02:52 PM Lavatory wall in Grimsby South bank Jazz Club 1966 "The secret of happiness is to like what you do not to do what you like" John Peel (The DJ) "If you can't be good looking, be funny" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Desdemona Date: 25 Jan 02 - 04:29 PM These are excellent! I'd be hard pressed to come up with a definitive favourite, but my dad's always said, in reference to those couples that you just cannot fathom: "Well, I guess God pairs 'em off!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: RangerSteve Date: 25 Jan 02 - 07:34 PM The snake gets no sympathy when he complains that his feet hurt. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,Irish Sergeant Date: 25 Jan 02 - 08:10 PM Stall in men's head, Naval Air Station Cecil Field Barracks 812 "Jesus Saves. Esposito gets the puck. He shoots. HE SCORES!!" Tempus Fugit. I am the person your mother warned you about. Kindest regards, Neil |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Ian Darby Date: 25 Jan 02 - 08:52 PM Desdemona, There's another one; "God makes 'em and the Devil pairs 'em." Also; "They'd spoil another couple." (Thanks for the thread Rustic......) Some more... "As welcome as a fart in a space suit." "Sick as a chocolate frog." "As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike." "Leave no turn unstoned." "Enjoy the show Mrs Lincoln?" "He's got the brains of a rocking horse." "As rare as rocking horse shit." "About as much use as a chocolate fireguard." Regarding someone with a lack of charisma, "When he enters the room you get the feeling somebody just left." On getting rid of unwanted guests, "Thank you, you have given us more than enough pleasure for one evening." And, this isn't a one liner, but a well known film actor, (I think it was Chuck Connors) was said to have introduced himself to John Gielgud saying; "Hello Sir, I'm Chuck Connors," to which the man replied, "Of course you are dear boy, of course you are." From 'The Goon Show'. Ned Seagoon; "That water was taller than me." Gritpype Thynne, (or Major Bloodknock;) "Its older Neddy. That's why." And, Bluebottle; "I've got the sea in my blood," Ned Seagoon; "I can see where it gets in." From a Tommy Cooper sketch; (Tommy holds up a small skull) "The head of Julius Caesar as a boy." (Tommy then holds up a a larger skull in his other hand) "The Head of Julius Caeser as a man." I have given enough pleasure for one evening.. (before anyone else gets back to me.....)
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,Oulmole Date: 25 Jan 02 - 09:24 PM "There comes a time in the affairs of men, my dear Blubber, when we must take the bull by the tail, and face the situation." -- W.C. Fields |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: tremodt Date: 25 Jan 02 - 09:42 PM Some one was asked on a game show 'is it possible for a baby to detect light while in the womb?and the answer was "only if the mother is a ballet dabcer"
ron |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: 8_Pints Date: 25 Jan 02 - 09:56 PM Don't mind growing old: just don't want to grow up! Life is what happens when you're planning something else! Is the first time one experiences 'de ja vu' really the second? Bob vG |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Morticia Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:51 PM My mother, gawd bless 'er, uses the phrase " I wouldn't piss in his mouth if his teeth were on fire" to express disaproval of certain individuals....and for those baffling couples mentioned earlier " It'd be a shame to spoil two houses between 'em". My favourite of hers though is " I would, but the grass is wet"....never sure what it meant but I think now I'm older I can guess. And, while we're on the subject, where did ....(upon being asked if you have such and such), the reply " No, but I've a sister in the WAFS excused weight-lifting." come from? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST,SlickerBill Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:51 PM PGA golfer, I've forgotten the name, but Australian I think. Was slagged off all weekend long by the press, but managed to pull off the win; "And to the press< I would like to thank you from the heart of my bottom". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Stilly River Sage Date: 26 Jan 02 - 12:22 AM Ian, "That ain't the way I heared 'em," to quote the Old Timer on Fibber McGee and Molly. "Leave no turn unstoned" is the perversion of leaving no stone unturned. The reversed version has to do with a boy on a beach who leaves no tern unstoned. "Enjoy the show Mrs Lincoln?" works better as "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, did you enjoy the show?" Ever the editor. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Jim Dixon Date: 26 Jan 02 - 12:58 AM Some say the glass is half empty. Some say the glass is half full. I say the glass is too big. I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. (Stephen Wright) I'd give a hunnerd dollars to be one o' them millionaires. It is easier to apologize than to get permission. - Admiral Grace Hopper If you can't take no for an answer, don't ask the question. If at first you don't succeed, try a bigger hammer. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: Lyrical Lady Date: 26 Jan 02 - 01:18 AM Remember men..if the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy ..Red Green. Chip 2447 ... "Wish in one hand and" etc etc ...I can't believe there is another person on this earth that knows that saying ... I always thought my M-I Law made it up ... at least she always said she did! LL |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: GUEST Date: 26 Jan 02 - 02:54 AM I don't have wrinkles. I just have too much skin for my face!! If it's too hot in the kitchen, go to the living room! HAHAHA!!!
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Subject: RE: BS: Favorite sayings,adages,one liners From: fat B****rd Date: 26 Jan 02 - 04:39 AM Dear Lyrical Lady, the quote you mention is used by Clarice Starling in "Hannibal" the book not the movie. all the best from the fB |