Write The Next Line

Subject: Write The Next Line
From: Jeep man
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 10:25 PM

I play this game with my granddaughter when she visits. I start a story, usually one line, then everyone present adds a line to the story. I hereby start a story for Mudcatters.

"Once Upon a time in an enchanted land far away".........

Jeep

This could lead anywhere.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Morticia
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:05 PM

lived a tribe of little mudcatters.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Sorcha
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:14 PM

All the little mudcatters loved to play in the mud, and sling it sometimes, too.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From:
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:19 PM

But this was magic mud.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:31 PM

So they all replied, Fuck Off!!

This is old shit, we're tired of this.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From:
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:33 PM

And the magic mud turned the mean old nasty grumps into sweet and shining examples of the best of humanity. It was almost like fairy dust. mg

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:33 PM

At which demand all the Jeepster's ran to their man, to obey the GARGOYLE's command.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: khandu
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:35 PM

AH! But the bad old gargoyle was compelled by the magic mud to bite a fat hog in the ass.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:39 PM

"Ouch", said Catspaw, "Do not bite my ass!"

LOL!!!!

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:45 PM

But Spaw's ass was magical, and before he knew it, the gargoyle had been transformed into an attractive exotic dancer named Trudy.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: GUEST,SlickerBill
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:45 PM

To which gargoyle replied "Mfgnmfr frnmgrenmfr!!", seeing his mouth was full of ass at the time.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From:
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:45 PM

Why I beg your pardon said the bad old gargoyle as the effects of the magic mud swept over him. What ever came over me to make me do such a thing. I am going straightaway to a degrumping program. Allow me to make amends by taking you to the ploughman's lunch at the nearby Pig and Whistle. mg

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:48 PM

(I think we've got a winner here!)

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:53 PM

The humpin, and thumpin that night was profound
Then nine months later new mudcats were found.

"Wheeeeee," cried the Jeepster, "They look just like me."
"They, are fluffy, and puffy and with a brain like a pea."

Everyone looked....it was so absurd,
For each single one, was a Jeepster turd.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 11:58 PM

Sorry folks, the battle is won.

Rest my case!

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

There is no pleasure in waging battle with miniscule minions.

The games begin in ten minutes, I must prepare myself.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From:
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 12:00 AM

Oh but the mudcatters loved those babies, and with love and devotion and occasional splattters of mudcat magic mud, they developed into happy and healthy babies who gurgled and smiled and were just ga ga over their uncle gargoyle.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 12:01 AM

Such talent, so wasted
On put-downs and crap
Unhappy and carping
Old garg needs a nap!

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Chip2447
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 03:54 AM

Poor ole Gargoyle
he wants to shout
From his perch so high
Just a water spout.
Doesnt realize that
the only thing that comes out,
Is rain and pidgeon pooh,
and a wee bit of grout.

If this makes us happy,
we'll add a hip hop beat
and turn it in to Rap, see.
Now the thread has become a music treat.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 04:34 AM

Bravo! (And Brava!)

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Gareth
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 12:20 PM

Please see Terry Pratchet's defenition of a Gargoyle - a subspecies of Troll, with a speech defect.

Gareth

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 12:53 PM

You wouldn't say that if he were a member. Just another example of Guest Bashing...

And the babies grew and grew. And each one learned to the play the banjo and the bohdran. And some even took up bagpipes and hurdy-gurdy.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 01:33 PM

He is a member, just refuses to sign in, apparently.:-)

And, sackbuts, don't forget the sackbuts!

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 02:52 PM

Back at the Pig and Whistle, the Ploughman's lunch consisted of delicious haggis served on a bed of green beans slathered in mushroom soup. Almost instantly, grumpy Gargoyle was transformed into a handsome, irresistible Prince. How the little mudcatters loved and adored him. "Oh" exclaimed Gargoyle "If only I had known about the magical powers of haggis, I never would have been such an annoying little creature!"

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 03:07 PM

"Yes", said the ex-gargoyle, "three years ago, when I was previously a handsome Prince, I encountered a cruel witch while I was traversing an enchanted forest, playing my flute. She said she hated flute music, and cursed me to spout insults instead of tunes. Now that I am restored to my former grandeur, I can once again play the flute!" And he took a flute from his pack and began to play the most irritating ditty you could imagine. "Ouch!" said the little Mudcatters. "And you thought the witch was cruel!"

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Willa
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 03:16 PM

And they hastily blocked up his flute with the magic mud.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Jeep man
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 03:30 PM

As my Mother used to say,"You Started It!!" I guess I really did this time. Jeep

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: wildlone
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 03:42 PM

so gargoyle climbed back to his lofty perch
and showered abuse on all those beneath him, for he was a most learned gargoyle, He had many many books and manuscripts on music and songs and could recall all the versions of the House Carpenter from memory.
dave

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 08:19 PM

But the witch, travelling via broomstick to her new coven in Colorado, swooped down on the stony figure and caught him unawares.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Brían
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 08:47 PM

When she was momentarily distracted by a group of buskers she saw in the Boulder Mall. However, the high altitude was not conducive to Magic Mud, which evapoates at higher elevations. They were also protected by quartz crystals they wore under their anoraks.

Brían

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Jeep man
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 10:13 PM

The buskers were singing gospel music and playing non-Martin guitars.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Tweed
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 10:26 PM

And they marched themselves up Lefthand Canyon where they stayed a few days and nights camped beside a mountain stream that followed the canyon road. One night a group of miscreants organized by the Boulder City Council drove up in a pickup truck, armed with baseball bats and two-by-fours.
"We don't care much fer you longhairs trashin' our canyon." With that they began to....

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 10:32 PM

Beat out a rhythm on the fender of their pick-up truck, singing "Come Meester Talley-Man tally me banana", and the buskers responded "daylight come and me wan go home".

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Brían
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 10:51 PM

...After a while their voices grew tired, so they rested in the shade of some cottonwoods where they had a nice view of the Back Range. They shared some tahini and rice cakes with the Neighborhood Council. After some chamomile tea, the carbs had sufficiently mellowed everyone...

Brían

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Genie
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 04:55 AM

And they all fell into a deep, tranquil sleep that lasted 20 years...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Firecat
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 06:02 AM

And as far as I know, they haven't woken up!

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: wildlone
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 06:53 AM

But such dreams they had you would not believe.
dave

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Micca
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 08:08 AM

The last thought that the most agile brained one had before drifting off was" I didnt know Psilocybin Cubensis grew here...."

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Tweed
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 09:13 AM

That must've been in RightHand Canyon or somewheres. In LeftHand Canyon the cowboys from Boulder beat the crap outta the longhairs for bein' longhairs and dumped about a case of empty Coors cans on the ground before drivin off to the next camp to spread more joy and ecological sermons. The next day the longhairs, bruised and with chunks of hair missing had a meeting with the other tribes in the canyon. A fellow on a horse came down from the old silver mining town of Ward and says, "Vigilantes come here last night?".....

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Jeep man
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 03:51 PM

Timid busker asks "Has anyone seen my?????

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Chip2447
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 07:54 PM

Authentic reproduction of Cleigh O'Possum? I had it right before...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Genie
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 09:36 PM

...Spaw went into the john with his newspaper...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Jeep man
Date: 28 Jan 02 - 05:25 PM

Timid Busker "I really need it for my next.........

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 01:56 AM

Act. And If I find out Spaw (sorry Spaw) used it in the john I will be forced to turn him into an exotic dancer named Trudy, and he will have to perform...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 06:03 AM

A rendition of the UK Rugby Song "Haul 'em down you Zulu Warrier".

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: wildlone
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 04:23 PM

while standing in a bucket of custard being beaten with---
dave

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 06:40 PM

an icon of Jerry Falwell pouring piss out of a boot.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 06:42 PM

The next day

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Brían
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 10:50 PM

...He discovered the custard was really Magic Mud...

Brían

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Genie
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 10:58 PM

which he smeared all over Áine to help her heal, and ...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 11:07 PM

Ahhh yes ...Magic Mud...that wonderful concoction of Green Bean Goop and lovely rich reeking Haggis. Of course realizing he had come in contact with the dreaded haggis Mr. Spaw headed for the hills afeard for his manhood! It had been awhile since he had practiced the dance steps of Trudy! Whilst running through the brush, dodging limb and root ... there ... infront of him stood the diminished form of the man he had been wanting to face for a long long time! Finally...he had his chance to say....................

LL

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Tweed
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 11:16 PM

....Mr. Falwell I've been wanting to meet you and tell you...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 11:33 PM

"Be warned Mr. Falwell...for I have partaken of the Magic Haggis and am now ready to wage battle with the miniscule minions. Bring on your troops and I will single handedly take them on. Give me your General Gargoyle and I will ............

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Chip2447
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 01:23 AM

sic the Little Belgium Pisser on him and play Inna Gada da vida on my.....

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: GUEST,micca at work
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 04:50 AM

tipple, while juggling 6 copies of " the Wisdom of George W.Bush" and singing the complete version of "Tam Lin" backwards

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 01:24 PM

and farting the opening bars of "Fingall's Cave".....

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 01:55 PM

While my brother the faun and I, prance merrily down to the river banks of...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Brían
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 02:40 PM

...Boyne from which the waters flow from so clearly as said in song and story. Rev. Falwell is moved by the spirit of 'Spaw's version and plays a rather stunning drum solo on the bodhrán. However, some of the Magic Haggis concoction spatters the goat skin and...

Brían

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Genie
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 10:03 PM

...the goat comes to life and jabs the Reverend in the backside with his horns, to which Falwell reacts by...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 10:30 PM

by screaming "Oh YES! I am a bad, bad boy".

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Jeep man
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 10:42 PM

Meanwhile back at the buskers camp

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 11:10 PM

Gargoyle was coming down, finally convinced that someone had spiked his Arizona Iced Tea with LSD. He stood up, vowing never again to risk his sanity on a roll of Laughing Sam's Dice, when he struck his grotesque noggin on the underportion of a large mushroom cap. It was then he heard a voice say "whoooo are yoooooou?"

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Chip2447
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 11:53 PM

WHO WHOO....sang the owl that watched in amazement from the back of a......

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From:
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 11:53 PM

it was one of his nephews, who along with the nieces had all grown into Forest Rangers. They were very musical Forest Rangers, and knew every canyon and stream and knoll. They were dead set against drugs, knowing the serious damage it caused to their mother, whom they still loved despite her many problems....It was an LSD trip...they had portable testing devices and knew for sure...first their mother, and then their beloved Uncle Gaga. When will it ever end...

mg

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Jeep man
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 10:37 PM

The buskers hold a workshop to explain the B chord and.........

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 01 Feb 02 - 06:51 AM

Then someone mislays it and it becomes "The lost Chord"

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: DMcG
Date: 02 Feb 02 - 07:20 AM

The lost chord became so unhappy that it joined a Cathedral choir and became a misery chord.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Brían
Date: 02 Feb 02 - 03:21 PM

Meanwhile, back at the LeftHand Canyon, one of the cowboys mutters, "****, I can't get the damn smell of patchouli of my fist after knocking the hell out of those longhairs".

Brían

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Jeep man
Date: 03 Feb 02 - 10:22 AM

Sidewalk pickers will no longer be welcome in....

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Feb 02 - 10:54 AM

Aunt Clara's drawers, as she...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Feb 02 - 03:00 PM

turns herself back from the wall

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: E.T.
Date: 03 Feb 02 - 09:45 PM

where she lay down the krummhorn.. and then picked up the sackbut and

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 05:32 AM

Shawm of all modesty, started to kick up a racket...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Firecat
Date: 22 Feb 03 - 08:23 PM

And then picked one up and started to play....

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Tinker
Date: 22 Feb 03 - 08:26 PM

with a Bishop on bass, and the Duke on his horn....

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Feb 03 - 08:53 PM

And the tune that they played was "Gimme Cracked Corn"

Or is it "Jimmy Cracked Corn"?
I'm still not quite certain.
Does it make any difference to any but pedants?
But as sure as your born
They both started hurtin'
When they found they were playing in a big hill of red ants.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Feb 03 - 09:20 PM

ASIDE: Why are there red ants in Aunt Clara's house or is it her drawers????

The Duke and the bishop climbed atop the bass while Aunt Clara beat off the ants with her racket (racquet?). The noise attracted the attention of the thugs in Left Hand who

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Deda
Date: 22 Feb 03 - 09:31 PM

tore down the canyon to Boulder where they had a few bottles of Fat Tire at the Sink. They were starting to cheer up when a gang of frat boys.....

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 03 - 09:41 PM

..arrived towing a life-size papier-mache figure painted up to look like George Bush...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Feb 03 - 09:43 PM

and a mini figure of George JR...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Feb 03 - 09:57 PM

... mounted, you ask?

No, just shaking hands.

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Tinker
Date: 22 Feb 03 - 10:29 PM

mini-me ??? They both sang off key...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 03 - 10:37 PM

And the Catter's in attendance began whacking these penile presidential piñatas with tipples, bodhrans, banjos, hardshell cases, capos, and diminished chords until they began to crack apart, revealing....

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Feb 03 - 10:47 PM

... that someone had made off with the candy long ago, leaving, as a cruel joke...

Subject: RE: Write The Next Line
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Feb 03 - 10:51 PM

... a note which read:

"I play this game with my granddaughter when she visits."




And we're done. Whooo, I'm spent.... Hey! It's just like Joyce's Finnegan's Wake. Full circle.